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It really turns me on when Sexy Corte  goes down on me during or after we’ve been having vaginal sex — it’s even more intimate than standard oral sex. It’s not that the physical sensations are any different on their own, but it feels naughty and edgy — even a little dirty. (Of course, it’s just as safe and not-dirty as when I perform oral sex on her.)

Oral sex is great foreplay, but it doesn’t have to be sidelined when you start the main event! Here are a few reasons you should introduce vagina-to-mouth transitions into your sex life.

  • Variety. It’s fun to use more than one position per sexual encounter, and if you’re willing to go from her vagina to her mouth with his penis (and not just the other way around) then you’re multiplying your options.
  • Easier oral sex. Oral sex can be a lot of work and they generally don’t lead to an orgasm for the wife, but vagina-to-mouth sex can improve that. After the wife has climaxed, the husband can finish where he wants, and if he wants to ejaculate in her mouth it won’t be as much work because he’ll already be stimulated from intercourse.
  • Easier clean-up. If you’re having sex in a public place, clean-up can be easier if he ejaculates in her mouth.
  • Contraception: If you’re using a condom for birth control, ejaculating in the wife’s mouth could be a more satisfying conclusion than finishing in the condom.
  • Teasing and edging. Switching between forms of stimulation can prolong a sexual encounter and drive the receiver crazy. Either spouse can be the receiver of the teasing, it just depends on who is in control.
  • Natural lubrication. If you don’t have lube handy — or don’t want to use it — then saliva can serve the same purpose, either to get things started or to help out later. (Unflavored lubes don’t taste good, so if you’re doing vagina-to-mouth you probably won’t want to use them anyway. Of course, there are flavored lubes.)
  • Edgy and naughty. Maybe it just sounds hot because it’s a little outside your comfort zone! Incorporate some bondage, shibari, or even use vagina-to-mouth play as a sexual reward.

And everything above applies to a husband performing oral sex on his wife, too! There’s no reason he can’t pull out and go down on her.

So what do you think of it? Do you play with vagina-to-mouth sex?

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The term “blow job” as slang for oral sex performed on a man, or fellatio, pretty much rules the roost. There are plenty of other terms for the act, but “blow job” is by far the most common. It’s such a strange bit of slang: there’s no blowing involved, and though it can be a bit of work it’s an act of love, not labor. So what’s the deal?

Here are a couple of analyses that purport to explain the origin of the term — I’ll try to quote the less graphic parts. Click the links at your own risk, but the etymology is quite interesting.

The inestimable (and late) Christopher Hitchens wrote that “blowjob” is Victorian in origin.

The crucial word “blowjob” doesn’t come into the American idiom until the 1940s, when it was (a) part of the gay underworld and (b) possibly derived from the jazz scene and its oral instrumentation. But it has never lost its supposed Victorian origin, which was “below-job” (cognate, if you like, with the now archaic “going down”).

However, Chelsea G. Summers writes that no-one ever connected “blow job” with “below-job” until Hitchens wrote it. She digs deeper into the seventeenth century to inspect terminology used to describe oral sex. She decides that “to blow” has a long history as a euphemism for orgasm (i.e., to explode), and that “job” descends from many other labor terms used as sexual slang.

And it’s not just Americans: the English-speaking world at large has enjoyed a long, filthy history with “blow.” An explosion, a hard hit, or the act of producing a sound from a horn instrument, “blow” is already a versatile word, and slang takes full […] advantage of its flexibility. “Blow” meaning “fellate” dates to 1930, but the word has been doing sexy duty for centuries. “Blow” meaning to achieve orgasm came about in 1700; “blow” meaning to bring to orgasm showed as early as 1650; and “blow” meaning [sex] appeared in a 1644 edition of Mercurious Fumigosus, a weird, smutty zine-style newsletter produced by John Crouch, a Royalist journalist imprisoned during the British Interregnum. While other terms have lost their erotic luster with time, “blow” has held firm. Dudes have blown their loads only since 1993, but we’ve got more than three hundred years of people achieving orgasm with “blow.”

Sex slang through the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries was deep into play. People engaging in sexual intercourse would “dance on a rope,” “play at mumble-de-peg,” or “frisk,” while “larking” was the earliest slang term for oral sex. True, “job” as slang for [having sex with] dates to the early sixteenth century, and both “business” and “work” to the early seventeenth, but the sheer number of play terms vastly outweigh labor terms until the early twentieth century. Then, “job” proliferates—hand, mouth, brown, finger, rim, and non-specific “sex job” grow like mushrooms in the shade of “blow job.” In modern times, sex slang is all work and decreasing play, and “blow job” leads the way towards labor.

So there you go: two options for the history of “blow job”. “Fellatio” descends directly from Latin for “to suck”, but unless you really must discuss oral sex in polite company it seems unlikely that “blow job” is going anywhere anytime soon.

What do you and your spouse call it?

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Spring is in the air!

How did we miss Lips Appreciation Day?

The clitoris is not a doorbell — For best results, I suggest touching everything else first, and only moving to the clitoris when she begs you to.

Admiring his manhood — Yes, men can have body issues, and yes, it’s pretty hot when our wives admire our manly bits.

How to Have “Vacation Sex” – Even When You’re Not on Vacation — Be prepared!

Sexual intimacy and grief — Intimacy with your spouse can be a powerful source of comfort and healing, when the grieving spouse is ready to receive it.

“Wives either feel loved or used” — “If they feel loved they can be okay with being valued for sex BUT if they don’t feel loved, they see it as being valued only for sex.”

What I Truly Believe About Men — a valuable mention of love languages, plus insight into how women view men. I guess we’re as confusing as they are.

Three oral sex techniques: Tip Top, Gummer, and Lip Gloss.

Sleeping naked will do wonders for your marriage — Wives, if you get too cold just buy a pair of thigh-high socks. That still counts as naked in my book.

We often don’t have time to link to every great thing that Jay Dee writes:

How can a lady feel turned on around her husband? — Plus tips for how to get in the mood in a hurry.

10 ways to signal “yes” to your husband — Don’t forget secret message panties and coins in a bowl. Or, you know, just use words.

Enjoy some time outside in the sun with your spouse!

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This comes from reader “PL”:

Any suggestions on how to get my wife to shave “down there”? She tried once when we were first married, but she said it itched SO bad that she’d never do it again.

I LOVE giving her oral…but sometimes the jungle is unbearable.

I recently read that introducing new activities to your spouse is like “breaking in a horse”. The concept is that you try something a little bit at a time until it becomes comfortable. Then you go a bit further. Is that how to approach this, or…?

Her other two comments/objections about shaving are: 1) she would look like an adolescent (which I never thought about until she mentioned it, and that’s something I wish I could erase), or 2) that I must have seen the idea somewhere (porn or whatever). So I was quite disheartened because all I wanted was a nicer landscape to traverse… not anything weird.

Any help/suggestions/insight would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks for the email! You know, I understand because I also don’t like to shave all the way. However, I have found that if I remove everything except a “landing strip” it is a lot more comfortable. This is also called a “French” style, and it leaves a strip of hair visible in front. Hair is removed from the areas you need to clean, but left on the area where I find shaving to be most bothersome and itchy. It might be a good compromise for her. Like you said, she can remove a little bit of hair at a time based on her comfort level.

You should also definitely explain to her that hair gets in the way with oral — it can be very distracting, especially when it gets stuck in your teeth! I feel the same way when El Fury hasn’t shaved for a while and I’m licking his balls. As an added bonus, El Fury and I have both experienced greater sensitivity after we shave. Your skin feels so clean and smooth, your spouse’s touch or tongue feels amazing!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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We’ve written that your master bedroom is for sex (and part 2) and if you’re like most people, that’s probably where you do it the most. You’ve probably got all your fun sex stuff hidden away in there, ready for action… but maybe you’re missing one thing: a blowjob chair!

Of course, your bedroom chair isn’t just for oral sex. Chairs are very versatile pieces of furniture!

And you’ll find more fun things to do once the chair is in place! If you’ve got any more ideas, leave a comment.

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It’s that time of month again! No, not that time. The time to share awesome Christian sex links!

Periods… it’s both your probs — A week of blow jobs and shower sex.

3 Reasons I Delight in Giving My Husband Oral — Yeah, I put this on top because I know you’ll click it.

An intimate gift for Hubby — “Wives, if you want to give Hubby a really intimate and special treat, allow him to watch you masturbate, all the way to orgasm.” Here are a few tips about masturbating for your husband.

Are You Thinking Sexy Thoughts About Someone Other Than Your Spouse? — James 1:14-15 warns about the progression from temptation, to sin, to death. Be wary of opposite sex friends. Fallen as we are, temptation is to be expected. Prepare for it by nurturing your marriage so that temptation cannot take root and grow into sin, by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Intimacy in Marriage’s top sex posts of all time — Shockingly, only one post explicitly about oral sex!

Ban “I don’t know/I don’t care” from your bedroom — And a few other tips, but this is my favorite.

Are you sexually alive? — Your bodies are an amusement park of orgasms, and nothing is sexier than enthusiasm.

“How do I get my turn?” — Asked by a wife, but could be asked by a husband as well. Each spouse needs to take responsibility for asking for what he/she wants and making sure the other spouse gets what she/he desires. If you don’t ask or you don’t give then fix yourself first!

Have sex twice in one day — For us this is usually Sunday, for whatever reason. See also our posts on double features for him and her.

Why do some women shake when they orgasm? — Sexy Corte does, and it drives me crazy. Let go of your inhibitions and amplify your responsiveness during sex.

Choosing to enjoy what she enjoys — It’s about pecan pie, but applies to sex, too. Maybe the thing your spouse loves isn’t your favorite, but you can choose (and learn) to enjoy it as a blessing to her.

One way to help women feel more “in the mood” — Hint: foreplay begins long before sex. Try one of our sex games to get things started. I’m working on a post like this, but aimed at turning on your wife.

If you’ve got a thought or link to share, do it! Do it!

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This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #005: Yes, You Should Swallow

One of the most gratifying aspects this blog is when we get feedback from a couple whose marriage has benefited from something we wrote. As follow-up to this post about swallowing, in the comments to this Q&A about swallowing and enjoying it, “K” writes:

K
So… I gave it a go and swallowed for the first time today. Thanks for the inspiration! :)

Sexy Corte
That’s great! Thanks for letting us know. Was your husband excited?

K
He was thrilled! :) It was an amazing way to bond- more than I could have imagined. You guys are awesome- don’t stop writing!!

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This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #005: Yes, You Should Swallow

Since we posted on the topic of jaw pain during oral sex we’ve received a flood of questions with a similar theme, from both husbands and wives:

  • How do I get my wife to swallow?
  • How do I learn to enjoy swallowing my husband’s semen?

If your sex life with your spouse is otherwise good, the issue with swallowing semen might come down to communication. After El Fury told me how much it meant to him that I would swallow his semen, I figured I at least needed to try it — it’s already in my mouth anyways, so there’s just one more step! It was a little strange the first time I did it, but over time it got a lot easier. Husband, be open and honest with your wife about how important it is to you, and ask if she will at least try it a few times. If your wife has a hard time with it and does it anyway, you would be wise to express how much it means to you. If she gives it an honest effort but still doesn’t want to swallow, you might have to let it go. You don’t want to put so much pressure on her that she becomes reluctant to do oral sex altogether.

Wives: if you want to learn to enjoy it, you have the right intention at heart. My hope is that that desire is all you will need to overcome your difficulty swallowing. But, what are some more practical tips?

My first bit of advice is to at least try it. You might have a mental block simply at the thought of it. I remember how strange it felt the first time El Fury asked me to swallow. After a few times it became familiar and really wasn’t a big deal anymore. I actually thought it was easier than holding it in my mouth and rushing to the bathroom to spit it out right after.

Second, keep in mind that this could be an issue that is near and dear to your husband’s heart, so you really should have an open mind and give it a try.

Third, if you make up your mind to do it, then just do it. Don’t think about it when he ejaculates, just swallow it fast. You should be able to tell right before he comes, so be ready. If you still can’t get past it after a few attempts, your husband should be understanding and at least appreciate that you tried to like it. There are so many fun sexual experiences to have with your spouse that we shouldn’t get hung up on one issue.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #014: A Few Sexy Halloween Games

Sexy Corte and I have been inching our way through the Harry Potter movies in the evenings after the kids go to bed. We both enjoy the movies and the books, but SC is a super-fan. The movies are entertaining but confusing, and after we shut off the television it seems I’ve always got a million questions to ask SC about the series while we are getting ready for bed. So, I figured, why not make a sex game out of it?

  1. I found some Harry Potter trivia on the internet (not hard to do!) and picked out a bunch of questions. If Harry Potter isn’t your thing, pick something else. Maybe Star Wars trivia for the husband? Bible trivia? Civil War history? Prepare the questions (and answers) in advance and print them out or put them in a document on your phone/tablet.
  2. In addition to the trivia questions, I gathered the rest of the required toys. When I’m planning to do something elaborate, especially something that involves restraints, I try to make sure that all the toys are prepared and positioned in advance so that we don’t lose momentum while we’re playing. In this case, the toys were simple: wand vibrator and egg vibrator.
  3. Then I stripped SC down and tied her near the edge of the bed with her legs spread using our under-mattress restraint system (which is always prepared for use). I intended to use a blindfold, but it turned out to be more fun to watch her face. Once I had SC tied down I applied the wand vibrator and explained the rules.

Tie, Tease, Trivia Rules.

  • I apply the vibrator to you and ask you trivia questions. If the husband is the contestant, the wife can use her hand and mouth to stimulate him. The goal is to provide constant, low-level stimulation to tease the contestant while she tries to focus on the questions.
  • When you get one right, I go down on you. This is the motivation for the contestant to stay focused on her task. The frequent swapping between vibrator and mouth drove SC crazy, along with the tip of my finger teasing penetration. If the husband is the contestant, the wife can use both her mouth and lady bits to reward correct answers.
  • When you get one wrong…. I had considered using ice to penalize incorrect answers, but decided against it. Your mileage may vary, depending on the temperament of your contestant. When SC got one wrong I feigned great disappointment, shook my head, and ran the tips of my fingers along her inner thighs. I’d ramp up her stimulation and then remove it briefly, to her great frustration.
  • You may not orgasm until you score 10 points. Ramp up the stimulation and remind her that she isn’t allowed to come yet. Make light conversation and push her to the edge while you slowly peruse your set of questions. Make her beg for the next question. “Do you want an easy one or a hard one?” Make her keep score. “How many points do you have now? I forget. Are you sure?” Award bonus points and extra licking when she earns it, and take a point and stimulation away if she misses an easy one. Take your time.
  • Eventually, you win. When you’re ready to end the game, tell her that the questions are over. Ask her how many points she earned. Ramp up the simulation. “Do you think you’ve earned an orgasm?” Make her say yes, she’s earned it. Praise her performance under pressure. “You did great, sweetie. I think you earned an orgasm. Go ahead and get it.” Then give it to her.

“You must think I’m a huge dork,” Sexy Corte laughed at the beginning of the game. Afterwards she asked, “Do you think you can find more Harry Potter questions?”

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This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #005: Yes, You Should Swallow

We occasionally receive questions from our readers, and we’re going to start posting some of our answers on the site in this new category.

Reader “D” asks:

Hello, I need some advice on how to give my husband oral sex so that he eventually ejaculates. I sometimes have TMJ, so I need to try to refrain from doing it too long. Let me know if you have some pointers.

Thanks for the email, D! My jaw gets tired sometimes during oral sex, and that’s without TMJ! Do you think it would bother your jaw just to hold the head of your husband’s penis in your mouth? If not, you could try laying your head on your husband’s stomach, and holding the tip of his penis in your mouth so you can play/tease it with your tongue. With your hand you can play with his balls or the rest of his penis. If you focus on this for a while it will get him closer to ejaculation before you start on the harder work of taking him entirely in your mouth. Sometimes I count the strokes when I am taking El Fury into my mouth. I might start with 10 or so, then I will pause and only play with his head for a while with my tongue — and that gives my jaw a break. Then I will restart and go for 20 or so. I keep adding to the number and it drives him crazy while also keeping my jaw from getting too stiff. I hope that helps! Oral sex is really important to men, so it’s great that you are trying to find a way to get past your discomfort.

Got any tips for D? Leave them in the comments.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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