"New Faithful" + Frenulum Technique 1

We’ve discovered two innovations that combine features from a few of our favorite positions. Before we get into the details, check out these earlier posts for background.

The innovations are tweaks on New Faithful, a position that works like this:

  • Wife lies on her back with her legs spread.
  • Husband straddles the wife’s arm/shoulder and holds his torso vertical, with his penis over the wife’s head and thrusting into her mouth.
  • Wife licks the husbands balls and penis.
  • Husband uses a vibrator on the wife’s clitoris to bring her to orgasm with his penis in her mouth.

New Faithful is great for three primary reasons:

  • It’s a good way for Sexy Corte to orgasm while she’s on her period.
  • The position is comfortable for Sexy Corte — she just has to lie on her back.
  • I love the feel of her having an orgasm with my penis in her mouth.

Ok, so here are the two innovations that made this post worth writing.

First, we’ve discovered that New Faithful is awesome for frenulum stimulation. (The frenulum is a small area under the head of the penis that is similar to the female clitoris.) In New Faithful the wife can lay with her head and mouth pointing straight up and the husband can rest his frenulum right on her lips and mouth — like a golf ball on a tee. The wife should use her tongue to wet her lips and lick the frenulum while the husband rubs himself forward and backwards on her mouth. You might also incorporate some tasty edible lube!

This technique can be sustained for a long time because the wife doesn’t have to twist her neck or work her jaw to perform oral sex, and endurance is important because reaching an orgasm from frenulum stimulation alone can take a while. I actually haven’t been able to do it yet — the nature of the stimulation is different and more gradual than what a man experiences “normally” with stimulation of the whole shaft of the penis. Achieving a frenulum orgasm is one of my sexual goals!

Second, we’ve discovered that Sexy Corte really enjoys the combination of her holding an egg vibrator on herself while I stimulate her clitoris with my fingers. The vibrator and my fingers work together to drive her crazy, and she has an easy time reaching orgasm this way while performing oral sex on me. This has become our go-to activity to give her an orgasm while she’s on her period.

Sometimes people have questions on how to do Old Faithful and New Faithful, so feel to ask in the comments. And don’t be shy about sharing your own tips!

Sequential Orgasms, Multiple Orgasms 2

On Saturday and Sunday mornings my wife Sexy Corte will go for two orgasms about 25% of the time, and I love giving them to her. We’ve written before about Leveling-Up Your Sex Life and doing whatever it takes to give your wife as many orgasms as she wants, and in our experience giving Sexy Corte multiple orgasms when she wants to work for them is very rewarding and intimate.

So now we’re going to travel back in time all the way to 2008 — to the best of my knowledge, female orgasms haven’t changed much since then. A writer named PeppermintGirl wrote two posts about multiple orgasms at the Christian Nymphos blog that we thought some of our readers might find useful. First she writes about sequential orgasms.

Having multiple orgasms is a learned response.  If you are going to teach yourself first, a bullet or vibe may work better then your fingers.  Get nice and comfortable.  Think of how you can bring yourself to orgasm without over stimulating your clitoris.  In the past an ultra sensitive clitoris has been what has held me back from going for more but with time and retraining of my brain I have learned to get past it.  If your husband is a willing participant then having him performing oral or using a toy on you first would be ideal. […]  Once you do have that first orgasm bask in the afterglow for a minute and slowly begin exploring again.  You want to keep that clitoris engorged so don’t bask too long!!! 

This second orgasm will take longer to achieve because your body is not use to going for more.  You may be sensitive when you first start again but keep working through it just be gentle.  After that ultra sensitive time period has passed you can begin using more pressure to bring that second O on.  […]  After your second orgasm make note of how long it took you.  We are trying to get them as close together as possible.  The more you try to achieve multiple o’s the easier it will become.  Just like so many other things, practice makes perfect!

In the second post she writes about bunches of o’s.

These types of orgasms usually come from a little luck and a lot of hard work.  First my body had to learn how to shorten my refractory time to nothing.  You read that correctly, women have a refractory time too.  I talked about how to do this in “Multiple Orgasms; Part One”.  Once you master sequential orgasms then your body may start having these “bunches of  o’s”.

Bunches of O’s:  This type of orgasm comes one after the other in a continuous string until you decide to stop.   They are much less common then the sequential o’s but they are possible.  You just need to work at shortening the time between your sequential o’s and with some persistence these “Bunches of O’s” can be achieved.  Instead of basking in the glow like we discussed in part one of this series you keep the stimulation going constantly. The last time I had one of these my poor husband thought he was going to have to perform CPR.  Do I have this type of contraction every time I have an orgasm?  No, but when they happen it is a nice surprise.

There are two obstacles to Sexy Corte having limitless orgasms:

  • Sensitive clitoris. Strong stimulation after an orgasm feels unpleasant or painful, so we have to back off.
  • It’s hard work. It isn’t easy to have tons of orgasms in a row, and most of the time Sexy Corte doesn’t think it’s worth the effort.

Like PeppermintGirl wrote, having an orgasm is a physical skill that you can improve with practice and effort. The practice can be pretty fun, but the effort is real. Whether you’re trying for multiple, sequential, “bunches”, or just easier orgasms, you can move towards your goal if you put in the work. But… don’t be so goal-oriented that you miss out on intimacy with your spouse!

We haven’t experienced a continuous stream of orgasms yet, but there was one night early in our marriage when I gave Sexy Corte seven sequential orgasms in one session. Maybe someday we’ll have energy for that again!

Do you have any tips or tricks for multiple orgasms? Let us know in the comments!

Four Techniques for Female Pleasure: Angling, Rocking, Shallowing, and Pairing 3

OMGYes has released a Pleasure Report that describes four penetration techniques that are reported to be the most pleasurable for most women.

“We asked thousands of women what they do to experience more pleasure from penetrative sex and found there are four techniques that work for most women,” says sexual and reproductive health scientist, Christiana von Hippel.

Dubbed Angling, Rocking, Shallowing, and Pairing, they stand out from suggestions provided by other scientific studies that tend to scaffold pleasure around specific sexual acts, or the involvement of specific objects or body parts.

Sounds super-scientific! I bet these techniques are going to blow our minds.

For example, 87.5 percent of the respondents claimed Angling did it for them – rotating or elevating the pelvis just right to find a position where the toy, penis, or digits touch just right.

So… find the most pleasurable angle for penetration. Genius.

Around three quarters of those surveyed advocated Rocking, an action defined by movements that help the base of the penis or toy rub consistently against the clitoris during penetration.

Stimulate the clitoris. Wow, thanks science!

About 84 percent of those in the study enjoy a penetrative touch towards the outside of the vagina, dubbed Shallowing.

Ok, Shallowing might be a little less obvious that the first two ideas. We wrote about this technique here: When It Goes In — Shallow Penetration. Most of the nerve endings in the vagina are near the entrance, so it can feel pretty great for the husband to slide the head of his penis in and out at a shallow depth — and it might help the husband delay his own orgasm longer if the full shaft of his penis isn’t being stimulated.

Lastly, there’s also Pairing activity: Just under 70 percent of survey participants claimed they thoroughly enjoyed having their clitoris stimulated with a toy or finger while being penetrated.

Pairing might seem obvious, but it actually took me and Sexy Corte about a year to figure it out after we got married. Now, our go-to position when she wants an orgasm is for her to sit on top of me while I hold an egg vibrator wedged between us against her clitoris. She is practicing to orgasm in other positions, but this is the easiest for her by far.

Research like this can be valuable for guiding sexual exploration in your marriage, but in the end each couple will need to discover what feels good to them. Play around and try new things! You never know what you might like until you try it.

Were there any sexual techniques that took you a while to discover? Leave us a comment and help out the rest of us!

Improve Sex By Focusing on the Peak and the End 4

This post will share ideas about how to use the happy-ending effect and the peak-end rule to improve your sexual encounters. Sex doesn’t always go perfectly, and that’s ok! Sometimes we build up grand visions in our minds about how amazing an experience is going to be, and then the kids won’t go to sleep, the smoke detector won’t stop beeping for a new battery, or you get a cramp in your leg at just the wrong time. By understanding these two psychological concepts you can help yourself and your spouse have great experiences even when things don’t go perfectly.

First, let’s look at what these two effects are. The happy-ending effect probably isn’t too mysterious! The article below presents the effect in a negative light, but you can apply it in your marriage to improve your experiences.

“When you’re deciding where to go for dinner, for example, you think about where you’ve had a good meal in the past,” lead study author Martin Vestergaard said in a news release.

“But your memory of whether that meal was good isn’t always reliable — our brain values the final few moments of the experience more highly than the rest of it. If we can’t control our in-built attraction to happy endings, then we can’t trust our choices to serve our best interests,” said Vestergaard, a neuroscientist at the University of Cambridge in Britain.

For the study, researchers had participants select between two streams of coins falling into a bucket in quick succession. Larger coins were higher in value.

One stream was greater in value but ended with a succession of smaller coins, while the other less-valuable stream ended with a run of bigger coins. Participants consistently — and incorrectly — selected the stream that ended with larger coins.

From the study we learn that people tend to over-value the end of an experience in comparison to the rest — “all’s well that ends well”.

The peak-end rule is similar to the happy-ending effect, but includes the idea that the peak of the experience matters as much as the end.

The peak–end rule is a psychological heuristic in which people judge an experience largely based on how they felt at its peak (i.e., its most intense point) and at its end, rather than based on the total sum or average of every moment of the experience. The effect occurs regardless of whether the experience is pleasant or unpleasant. According to the heuristic, other information aside from that of the peak and end of the experience is not lost, but it is not used. This includes net pleasantness or unpleasantness and how long the experience lasted.

The big idea of the peak-end rule is that an experience isn’t only evaluated by how it ends, but also by its peak or climax. Even if an experience is largely unpleasant, awkward, or disappointing, if the peak and the end are strong then the overall experience will be viewed positively.

So how can we use this knowledge to improve sex with our spouse? By focusing our energy on the peak and end of the experience and learning to let go of our worries and frustrations about the rest. Beginnings can sometimes be especially difficult:

  • If one spouse is sexually responsive, sometimes it will take longer for him or her to “warm up” and become aroused.
  • If you’re trying a new position or activity it might take you a few minutes to figure out how to make it work.
  • If you just put the kids to bed they might come knocking at your door.
  • Your vibrator might need to be cleaned or might need new batteries.

Don’t let these speed bumps discourage you! No matter how difficult the beginning is it won’t have much effect on your retrospective enjoyment of the overall experience. Let’s dig a little more deeply into how we can make the peak and end of sex the best it can be.

This probably goes without saying, but the peak of a sexual encounter is likely to be the wife’s orgasm; if the wife chooses not to have an orgasm, or the activity is focused on the husband (e.g., blow job) then his orgasm will be the peak of the experience.

The most important thing to remember is: Do Whatever It Takes to Give Your Wife as Many Orgasms as She wants. If the wife wants an orgasm, she should get one! If your wife wants an orgasm and doesn’t get one, the peak of your sexual encounter will not be good. If you have to give up on your “great idea”, change positions, take more time than you expected, or whatever, just do it. Don’t prioritize a sexual script over the wife’s orgasm — even if you succeed in executing your plans perfectly, it will all be for nothing if the wife doesn’t get the orgasm she wants.

The husband’s orgasm is also an important part of the peak! Typically the husband’s orgasm is easier to accomplish, so the focus doesn’t need to be so much on making sure it happens, but more-so on timing his orgasm with the wife’s and giving the husband the visual and sensory experience he’s after.

The timing of the husband’s orgasm relative to the wife’s orgasm is an important decision to make.

  • Before the wife: It’s generally not good for the husband to climax before the wife (if she’s planning to have an orgasm). There may be situations where you plan to do this, but make sure you talk about it first.
  • With the wife: When the husband and wife climax at the same time you can create a very high peak for your experience.
  • After the wife: When the husband climaxes shortly after the wife, while she’s still highly aroused and coming down from her own orgasm, you can draw out the peak over a longer period of time.

Usually I climax a short time after Sexy Corte. Timing our orgasms to happen at the same time can be difficult and distracting; sometimes it happens, but usually I aim to climax a bit after her.

Men are visual creatures, and the quality of our orgasms is often connected with the visual and sensory elements that go into it — that’s why my orgasms are usually stronger after Sexy Corte has one! After the wife climaxes — or if she’s creating an experience focused on her husband’s pleasure — let the husband arrange your positions or activities to create the sensory experience he wants.

  • Visual: The husband may want a better view of the action or may want to see the wife from a different angle that isn’t conducive to her orgasm.
  • Wife’s responsiveness: The wife’s moans of pleasure and body responses are an important part of elongating the peak experience. Even if the wife didn’t have an orgasm, her signs of pleasure and arousal are an important part of her husband’s experience.
  • Ejaculation: Let the husband ejaculate where he wants to! Vagina, face, body, mouth, swallowing, butt. Semen is mystical and the husband’s peak will be higher if he can put it where he wants it.

Ok, that’s a lot about the peak — how can we make the end of a sexual encounter the best it can be?

  • Touch and cuddle. Whether it was a quickie or marathon, make sure to include some touching and cuddling afterwards, even if it’s only for a few seconds. If the experience was particularly difficult or emotional for one spouse make sure to spend extra time afterwards with comfort cuddling.
  • Focus on the positive. Ignore anything that went wrong and focus on what went right and what you enjoyed. Be thankful and grateful for the spouse God gave you. Be in awe of your spouse’s sexuality that you get to share. You might need to acknowledge some difficulty, but move past it quickly to praise the peak. “The kids sure were persistent, but wow it felt great when we….”
  • Words of affirmation. Tell your spouse what you enjoyed, what felt great. Don’t give advice or ideas for improvement right now — save them for later. “It felt great when…”, “You looked so hot when…”. It’s good to be specific and explicit!
  • Bring it up again later. The end of the experience can be elongated just like the peak can. “Last night sure was fun, especially when you….”

I encourage you to check out this story from one of our readers that is a perfect example of creating a great ending despite difficulties and frustrations during the sexual encounter. Part 1: “I felt too exposed and vulnerable”; Part 2: Perfect Example of Trying Again.

By focusing on your peaks and endings you can learn to ignore any momentary frustrations and create great sexual experiences. Please leave us a comment and let us know what you think. How do you make your peaks and endings the best they can be?

Tips and tricks for helping the wife have her first orgasm. This episode is a dialogue between El Fury and Sexy Corte.

If this podcast is a blessing to you, please leave us a 5-star review on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts.

All About Female Orgasms (Safe Diagrams): https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/physical-techniques/female-orgasms-safe-diagrams/

How To Help Your Wife Orgasm: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/mental-techniques/how-to-help-your-wife-orgasm/

How to Rub a Clitoris: Pulling Back the Curtain: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/physical-techniques/how-to-rub-a-clitoris-pulling-back-the-curtain/

I Can’t Have An Orgasm!: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/stories/i-cant-have-an-orgasm/

Hands-Free Vibrator in Doggy Style 5

We use a vibrator when we have sex to help Sexy Corte reach orgasm easily and reliably, but this ties up one of my hands and limits our range of positions — what to do? Well, we’ve finally found a solution, at least for one position!

When we have sex, Sexy Corte typically starts on top and rides me while I use an egg vibrator on her clitoris until she has one or more orgasms. This is the easiest position for her to climax and we use it 90% of the time. One of the reasons this position has worked so well for us is that it’s comfortable for me to hold the vibrator against her and it’s comfortable for both of us for her to straddle me. Unlike most of the sex positions you’ll find online, we can actually hold this position until Sexy Corte orgasms!

This usual approach works very well, but we enjoy trying new things and I’ve wanted to find some way to comfortably reach Sexy Corte with a vibrator in another position — and even better would be finding a way to free up my hands for other activities. So here’s what we’re experimenting with right now.

We’ve written a lot about the doggy style position, and now we’ve found a couple of toys that can help Sexy Corte reach orgasm in this position while keeping my hands free! The first is an inflatable tube-shaped bolster pillow with a mysterious hole built into it. What’s the hole for? The item description doesn’t say. It could be for anything… your remote control, your tiny drink… who knows?

Hands-Free Vibrator in Doggy Style 6
Inflatable bolster pillow with mysterious hole visible near the far end of the pillow.

Well, we found the perfect thing to stick in the hole: our wand vibrator.

Hands-Free Vibrator in Doggy Style 7
A simple wand vibrator.

The process is simple:

  • Turn the wand vibrator on and push the handle down into the hole on the pillow. The hole is tight enough to hold the vibrator securely in position.
  • Turn the pillow so the head of the vibrator is sticking out and pointing up.
  • Wife straddles the pillow so the vibrator is on her clitoris, and bends over into the doggy style position.
  • Wife rests her body on the pillow and rubs against the vibrator while husband enters her from behind.

We’re still experimenting with this new hands-free vibrator position — we aren’t used to the position yet so Sexy Corte takes longer to climax and I have trouble holding my orgasm back! Obviously we need a lot more practice.

Now that we’ve found a hands-free way to use a vibrator there must be a ton of other positions to try it in. Do you have any suggestions? Have you found any other ways to use a vibrator hands-free? Let us know in the comments.

Sex Q&A: Sex Is Good, But "The Furthest Thing From My Mind" 8

Wife “HD” says that despite enjoying sex with her husband, sex is often the furthest thing from her mind.

I have a bit of a problem. Growing up, sex was something that I thought/felt was wrong. I didn’t date much mostly because I was afraid of the relationship getting too close to sex. When I started dating my now-husband I was smitten! I wished so badly that we were married all the time so we could be intimate. Now that we are it seems like sex is the furthest thing from my mind. He tells me every so often that he isn’t getting enough. My immediate response is guilt and shame and that motivates me to have sex because I want to make my husband happy and because I don’t want to feel guilty. Once those feelings of guilt and shame have subsided, I fall back into my old way of not thinking much about sex or doing much about it.

I know that this is toxic to our marriage but I honestly don’t know how to change. It’s not that I can’t do it, or don’t have the resources to come up with ideas, it seems like an issue with my heart and also probably my way of thinking. I want to have sex with my husband because I love him and I want our relationship to grow, not out of guilt and shame. Do you have any advice you could offer?

HD and I exchanged a few emails. Her situation isn’t uncommon, and I have a set of questions for wives who are feeling this way. I wrote back:

Thanks for your email! It can be hard to go from growing up and having the perception that sex is wrong to then be expected to flip a switch when you get married and love sex. Sex, with how natural it is, takes some learning to enjoy. Sex is a gift from God, and having the right attitude towards it allows you to enjoy that gift to the fullest. I have a few questions that will help me answer your question. :)

Do you orgasm when you have sex with your husband? This can be a tricky thing to figure out! It seems that many people don’t know that most women need some help to be able to orgasm during sex.

Do you take time together to explore what your body enjoys?

Are you comfortable with giving feedback? When he is doing something you like, make sure to reinforce that, but you also need to tell him when it is not enjoyable so that he can learn your body.

Do you pray for your sex life? Pray that it would honor God, that you would enjoy it, that your heart would change towards it. Let me know about those questions and hopefully I can give you some guidance.

HD replied:

I actually do orgasm. Pretty much every time we have sex, even a few times.

I feel like my husband is great at doing what feels good and I try to tell him when I like something and when I don’t. I think that we do well at exploring and giving feedback.

However, sex is just the furthest thing from my mind most of the time. Many times it still feels like I am doing something wrong or that I should not be thinking about sex. And sometimes It feels even like an inconvenience, which I feel really awful about. If I want to pursue him, which he loves, it takes a lot more effort for me and I don’t get as excited about it because the “perfect moment” that I plan usually gets foiled by something else and that feels discouraging.

I have been trying to pray about it a lot more and I even started a devotional/ Bible study on the topic. Some days it goes great but other days it feels a lot harder. I still feel like I am not hitting the mark.

I hope that makes sense! 

My final response was:

Thanks HD, that’s helpful! I have a few thoughts, hopefully they can help. I think it could help to develop some new patterns of thinking in regards to sex. The Bible speaks a lot about sex, and when it talks about sex within the bounds of marriage, it is a gift, and something God created for humans to enjoy. Dig into scripture – Song of Solomon, Proverbs 5:15-19, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. Pray and meditate over the Song of Solomon, some of the imagery in there can make me blush! The point, God created sex for you to enjoy within marriage. Make a list of the positive aspects of your sex life, and make it a point to reflect on those. The more that you create positive pathways of thinking, the easier it will be for your mind to travel along those paths.

You also mentioned creating the ‘perfect moment’. It’s easy to set up high expectations that deflate our enthusiasm when they are not met. When you allow some space that things will happen in an unpredictable way, it will ease the burden and allow you to enjoy the moment more. Life is made up of a multitude of little moments, and the more you focus on the quality of those little moments, the less weight the big moments carry. And where do you live the vast majority of your life? It’s in the small stuff. So don’t shy away from planning stuff with your husband, plan it and let it unfold in its own way.

Don’t feel discouraged when you don’t feel like having sex. Our bodies and desires ebb and flow with our cycles, so just because you don’t hit the mark one day doesn’t mean you can’t try again tomorrow. It sounds like you are making your sex life a priority, and hopefully you will start to hit the mark more and more. Remember that sex is a lifelong part of marriage, and you can choose to make it great rather than see it as a duty. Our perceptions shape our experience, and it takes a lot of work to make sure our perceptions are on the right aim, but it is worth tending.

I hope this helps. I prayed for you now! It sounds like you are already on the right path, and you care, so that alone will help things to improve.

God bless!

We try to always pray for our readers immediately when we receive emails, so we don’t forget later. Our advice may or may not be helpful, but there’s no doubt that God hears and answers prayer!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

Ten Types of Female Orgasms??? 9

The female body is pretty amazing, but can women really have ten kinds of orgasms? Sexy Corte and I will tackle this topic together.

(Note: This post will refer to the diagrams in our earlier post, All About Female Orgasms (Safe Diagrams) which covers some of the orgasm types described below.)

1. Clitoral orgasms.

El Fury: Obviously yes, despite the fact that some men don’t seem to know how to rub a clitoris. (diagram)

Sexy Corte: I’m amazed at how tiny a clitoris is, and how it can make me feel such big things. Clitoral stimulation is how I orgasm. That’s it. Other techniques listed below can heighten that experience, but without focused stimulation on my clitoris, it doesn’t go anywhere. It can take 20-30 minutes of focus to get to orgasm, and sometimes even longer. Husbands, my best advice to make your wife love sex is to learn to navigate her clitoris. Use your hand or a vibrator, you will know when you are on the right track. Human females are the only females that can orgasm. What a gift from God!

2. Vaginal orgasms.

For many of us, this type of orgasm remains elusive. That’s because most women (50-75 percent) can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone.

… another researcher found that part of the vagina (where the G-spot zone is located) is inextricably linked with the internal parts of the clitoris. Thus, “vaginal” orgasms could actually be clitoral orgasms by another name.

El Fury: This is the idealized kind of orgasm that you see depicted in movie love scenes. They’re real, and some women can have them easily, but most women benefit from clitoral stimulation.

Sexy Corte: I am one of the majority that cannot orgasm this way. However, my favorite way to orgasm is with vaginal sex combined with EF using a vibrator on my clitoris. Never gets old.

3. G-spot orgasms.

The G-spot is an orgasmic erogenous zone on the front wall of the vagina and is made up of the urethral sponge and Female Erectile Network. It swells upon arousal, and G-spot orgasms are said to be more intense, longer-lasting, and more full-bodied than clitoral orgasms.

Hitting the G-spot can also result in female ejaculation or “squirting.”

El Fury: The G-spot combined with internal parts of the clitoris probably lead to what people call “vaginal orgasms”, discussed above. Curling two fingers in a “come here” motion inside the vagina is the easiest way to manually stimulate the G-spot (diagram).

Sexy Corte: When EF has tried to stimulate this area it hasn’t done much for me, but I’m open to keep trying.

4. Cervical orgasms.

Many women don’t even know this type of orgasm is possible. The cervix itself, lies at the very back of the vagina, past the G-spot. It’s the entrance to a woman’s uterus and protrudes into the vagina like a rounded button resembling the head of a penis.

Cervical orgasms have been described as deeper, full-bodied, expanded orgasms, like an ecstatic tingling experience or “a shower of stars.”

While clitoral orgasms have a quick peak and release, G-spot and cervical orgasm come in waves of bliss, with a pleasurable sensation that can last for hours. Some women say that cervical orgasms are almost “spiritual” in nature.

El Fury: The whole area around the cervix seems to be sensitive to stimulation. In addition to the cervix itself, the anterior fornix (diagram) and posterior fornix (diagram) can be stimulated for orgasms.

Sexy Corte: Hmm, this sounds like a necessary experience. Let’s try to achieve this soon!

5. U-spot orgasms.

This tiny orgasmic spot is just above your urethral opening but is often neglected, poor thing. The U-spot is a highly sensitive erogenous zone that can create strong orgasms and also takes part in female ejaculation.

It is located in the vulva, just above the vagina and below the clitoris, surrounding the urethra opening (above and to either side) like an upside-down “U.” It is a highly-sensitive bundle of nerves, as well as erectile tissue that can feel extremely erotic when stimulated.

El Fury: This seems likely to be another extension of the clitoris.

Sexy Corte: This whole area is sensitive, and stimulation here is required for me to orgasm. Keeping stimulation focused here during sex makes the experience amazing.

6. Anal orgasms.

This type of orgasm is on people’s bucket list more and more. Why? The anus opening and anal canal are distinct erogenous zones on their own, rich in nerve endings and super-sensitive to stimulation and penetration.

The “rosebud,” or anal opening enjoys soft sensual massage with lots of lubricant. The anus itself should be penetrated very slowly, based on the receiver’s preference.

Stimulation of the anus, perineum, and rectum can engage the pelvic and pudendal nerves, which are implicated in the orgasmic response.

El Fury: Well, we’re working on this intermittently. Anal stimulation seems to be most pleasurable when combined with clitoral stimulation.

Sexy Corte: It is arousing when EF plays around in that area. Actual penetration is currently more distracting than arousing. If he is playing around there it can make my orgasm more intense.

7. Throat-gasms.

This type of orgasm is a bit strange, I’ll admit. But reportedly, women can experience an oral or throat orgasm during oral sex on a penis, particularly when they are deep-throating while giving a blow job (a dildo also works).

The throat is connected to the vagus nerve, cervix, and uterus, according to orgasm researchers Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk, which can trigger orgasms.

That’s why moaning and making lots of sounds during sex or solo pleasure is a good thing. It increases your orgasmic potential and helps to move the orgasmic energy throughout the body.

Full-body orgasms? Yes, please!

And, get this: The mouth and throat are highly-sensitive erogenous zones that contain more nerve endings than the vagina.

El Fury: I’ve written several times about how awesome it is for Sexy Corte to have an orgasm while performing oral sex on me. It’s one of my favorite things in the world. I suppose the world would be a better place if semen tasted like chocolate and women could have orgasms from deep-throating, but this seems incredibly far-fetched to me.

On the other hand, I completely agree that audible sexual responsiveness really improves sex. Talking, moaning, yelling, and crying out during sex will definitely intensify the experience.

Sexy Corte: I do orgasm while giving EF oral, but that is the direct cause of him stimulating my clitoris at the same time. I definitely agree that a good moan gets me going. I respond in an auditory way, which is helpful for EF to know if he is on the right track. If all of the kids are out of the house it’s really fun to let loose!

8. Nipplegasms.

This type of orgasm is luscious and sensual. A nipplegasm is an orgasm that results from nipple stimulation. Approximately 29 percent of women have said they experience these types of orgasms.

Studies done with brain imaging (fMRI) machines now prove that the same part of the brain, known as the “genital sensory cortex,” lights up when the nipples are stimulated, the exact same area that lights up when the clitoris and vagina are stimulated.

So, the nipples and breasts like the genitals can be highly orgasmic.

Sucking on the nipples releases the “love hormone” oxytocin, which is responsible for producing contractions in the uterus, and can produce orgasms. It is also the feel-good-after-sex hormone that makes you all dreamy and lovey-dovey.

El Fury: Breasts and nipples are great, and stimulating them can certainly lead to arousal. But orgasm?

Sexy Corte: My nipple sensitivity emerged after breast-feeding our first child. That event awakened something and made me feel arousal when EF would touch my breasts. It heightens arousal but I have never had an orgasm from nipple play.

9. Body-gasms.

These types of orgasm can seem mythical, until you actually experience them.

Expanded or full-body orgasms are those that are not localized to just the genital region, but can spread all over the body. This can happen when multiple erogenous zones are stimulated simultaneously, such as a combination orgasm with the clitoris and G-spot.

These type of orgasms can lead to multiple orgasms, and “super orgasms” (continuous or long-lasting orgasms). Energy orgasms can also spread through the entire body, as well.

El Fury: I love giving Sexy Corte powerful orgasms and multiple orgasms, and those two things often go together. Even though they take work on both our parts to accomplish, they’re well worth it.

Sexy Corte: I have never experienced this, but I have had orgasms that I have felt in other areas of my body. For example, I’ve had an orgasm that produced such a strong emotion that I cried. Orgasms do impact my body in a way that I shake after for a while. They feel super, but I’m not sure I’ve experienced the super orgasm.

10. Mindgasms.

This type of orgasm seems a bit “out there,” as in out-of-body experience. Mindgasms, also called breath and energy orgasms, are a type of full-body orgasm that may begin in the genitals, but then the raw sexual energy is channeled up the chakras and throughout the body.

Both men and women can experience full-body, breath, and energy orgasms, and it requires no direct stimulation of the genitals. Yes, that means hands-free. It can be a sexual experience, a very spiritual and enlightening experience, or both.

This type of amazing orgasm has been described as feeling like waves of ecstatic, electric energy coursing through your entire body and making you tingle all over. They can last much longer than ordinary orgasms, even hours, with the after-glow effects lasting even days.

El Fury: I’ve heard of this, but never experienced it. Our bodies can do strange and incredible things, and using breathing techniques to induce altered mental states via hypoxia is an age-old practice. But hands-free, no-touch orgasms? I’m guess skeptical.

Sexy Corte: I think this would be really fun to try, although I am skeptical we could achieve orgasm this way. It sounds sexy to sit with your spouse, not touch each other, but guide each other to arousal only through communication without touch. Then move on to touching!

We’d be really curious to hear from our female readers: how many of these orgasms have you had? What’s next on your bucket list? Leave a comment below!

Level-Up Your Sex Life 10

We get a lot of email from our readers (thank you!) and there’s nothing more gratifying than hearing from a couple we’ve helped to boost their sex life up to the next level. God is good! If you want to level-up your sex life, then consider these two specific types of stories that we hear pretty frequently.

First and best are accounts from couples where the wife has just had her first orgasm in years, or ever! We hear from women who have been married for decades and never had an orgasm before reading our blog, and wow, nothing makes us happier. Other wives haven’t had an orgasm for years for various reasons — childbirth, kids, illness, or inattentive husbands. From these stories, it seems that the wife’s orgasms are a huge blessing to the marriage as a whole and are foundational for a couple’s sex life. Do whatever it takes to give your wife as many orgasms as she wants.

Ann wrote:

So many [posts] have been of benefit to us but particularly learning that sex toys are not “evil”. Historically, I think I had an easier time than many women reaching orgasm, but my changing 50’s body was betraying me and it was horribly frustrating (and my husband know my body, used many approaches, for extended lengths of time and nothing was working. This was not a case of believing PIV was adequate). I truly wondered if orgasms were no longer a to be part of my life. One little vibrator fixed that! Also, a few links you have shared have been of tremendous help as well. Thank you from the depths of both our hearts and bodies!!

Scott wrote:

Favorite post is “Edge-of-the-Bed Sex Positions”. This related to me because it was something we’d already just recently gotten working well (and has taken over as #1 position when using condoms). Even more recently, since reading it, my wife decided to take the vibrator plunge, and both times it was in this position. Amazingly enough, the second time led to her first (awake) O! Took 12 yr, but we finally got there! Late in intercourse, we transitioned to “Packing the Suitcase” from a related position, and that actually seemed to trigger her final ascent. I don’t think I’d have made the change to the positioning without having read that, so I really think we have your website to thank for contributing to her first time!

And now Scott and his wife are enjoying multiple orgasms!

Did want a drop a note that your post here was extremely well timed. It came right after we got my wife her first multiple-O session ever! As I’ve posted here, she’d never achieved a (non-nocturnal) O until less than 5 months ago, and now we’re getting “success” 95% of the time. I won’t go into detail, but this time she basically said to keep going, and a few minutes (and seemingly massive pleasure) later, she got a spectacular second! Let’s just say I had an unshakeable grin for quite some time afterwards. I’m guessing it’ll only be a once per month (or every few months) thing, but it was so thrilling to see my wife WANT that for himself, plus I got the joy of serving her until she got it. :-)

I appreciate what you write here, and it has contributed to my efforts and improved mindset in achieving new heights for my marriage relationship!

Second-best are accounts from couples where the wife is newly willing to perform oral sex and/or swallow. So many couples write to us overjoyed to have tried oral sex for the first time — the husbands are obviously thrilled, but you might be surprised at how blessed the wives are, too.

K wrote:

K
So… I gave it a go and swallowed for the first time today. Thanks for the inspiration! 

Sexy Corte
That’s great! Thanks for letting us know. Was your husband excited?

K
He was thrilled! It was an amazing way to bond- more than I could have imagined. You guys are awesome- don’t stop writing!!

Thunder wrote:

I took the time to have several respectful and heartfelt conversations about sex in general and about oral sex and swallowing specifically.

Earlier this week she let me finish in her mouth for the first time in 10 years. It was an amazing experience. After starting the morning that way (I was almost late for work, but who cares!), I felt very and completely loved the rest of the day.

rita_m wrote:

I’m a Christian woman in my 40s, married with 3 kids and have an enjoyable sex life with husband. I want to please him and swallowing his semen has seemed like a big step to take. We enjoy oral sex a lot and I enjoy giving very much. We progressed to me first tasting and finally swallowing his sperm and it was very strange, like venturing onto new territory sexually. Like having sex for the first time, I was really nervous, wondering how it would taste and feel like. It’s such a powerful act, ejaculation, that I was afraid of “taking it’s full force” in my mouth. I’m glad I did, he enjoys it a lot and it has brought us closer together. Now I almost insist on swallowing every occasion I get! He likes how I embrace this seed of his that he produces, and I enjoy tasting his most intimate flavors and even enjoy the taste with the variation in taste and texture.

So if you’re looking to level-up your sex life consider taking these tips from our readers: as many orgasms as the wife wants, and oral sex for the husband.

What have you done to level-up your sex life? Leave a comment and let us know!

Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 11

We haven’t done a link round-up since Christmas! Time flies.

Awaken Love has several great posts we want to link to.

What Will It Take to Make Sex Happen? — Maybe the wife could rev up her indicators of interest or the husband could make himself more lustable.

It’s Okay You Have to Learn How to Have Great Sex — Great sex takes communication, practice, and effort from both spouses.

56 Sexy Truth or Dare Bedroom Game — I’m going to steal a few of these when I get around to updating our Random Sexual Truth-Or-Dare page.

Crossed Manual Stimulation Technique — Here’s a fingering technique we haven’t seen before: the husband crosses his fingers and twists them inside the wife.

How to Give Your Husband a Blowjob — Father’s Day has passed, but I’m sure he won’t object.

“What if we had sex for 60 days in a row?” — Intimacy will increase in all areas of your marriage, and you’ll get a lot better at sex.

Shannon Ethridge links to a TED talk: 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Orgasm by Mary Roach.

Is it ok for a wife to tie up her husband and dominate him during sex? — Yes. Sex play is play. As long as both spouses are consenting then there’s nothing wrong with tying each other up or role-playing with power dynamics.

Perifit: The Video Game That Helps Your Pelvic Floor! — Kegel exercise video game. “Squeeze to turn!”

Need more links?! Check out 30 more Christian sex links from The Forgiven Wife. Need more sex Q&A? Jay Dee has you covered.