Sex All Day (Orgasms Optional) 1

Would you like to have sex with your spouse all day, but your responsibilities make that seem impossible? We’ve written about daily sex, but sex all day? Well, way back in 2017 Jay Dee wrote that all-day sex is possible for busy married couples, as long as you break the sex up into flexible blocks of time.

So, I proposed the idea to my wife, who asked some good questions for clarification, and here is the plan we came up with. Basically, short 5-minute quickies throughout the day, without the intent of achieving orgasm.  If it happens, no problem, but don’t chase it.  Then, at the end of the day, we’d have a “proper” sex session wherein we’d both get an orgasm if we wanted it.  Now, if your spouse needs more time to “warm up”, this may not work for you.

This was a Friday night, and we planned to try this out on Saturday since the only plan we had was going to church.  We figured a quick session when we woke up.  Another after we got home from church and got the kid’s lunch, and then our final one at night.  Since it was late, we also decided just to have one of those “no orgasm” quickies at night before going to sleep.

Then we had a kid wake up at 4 am who just didn’t want to go to sleep.  Most accurately, he didn’t want me to help him go to sleep, but I was trying to save my wife from having to wake up.  But, after 20 minutes of him screaming that he didn’t want me, she was up anyways.  Finally, he went to sleep again, and we figured, well, we’ll up anyways … so we sneaked (yes, that’s the right word) another one in.

The rest of the day basically went as planned.  We had some kids crawl into bed with us before we woke up, but we managed to shoo them downstairs to get breakfast while we “got dressed”.  We did break the rules at bit after lunch where we chased an orgasm for my wife for a bit.  But, no one had any complaints.

Orgasms are great, and each spouse should have as many orgasms as he or she wants, but sex is about more than orgasms. Sex is critical for intimacy, bonding, and vulnerability, but it’s also fun and playful. Sneaking away from your responsibilities several times a day to have a 5-minute quickie sounds like a lot of fun, and could even make for an interesting game or challenge in the right circumstances.

So how can you prepare for the best possible day of sex?

  • Plan. Talk with your spouse and make a general plan. You don’t need to set sex alarms on your phone (unless you’re up for the challenge), but communicate and set expectations.
  • Lube. If you need some, get it ready. Alternatively you can use your mouth, which would be more fun.
  • Hygiene. Frequent quickies may not be great if you’re sweaty or gross. All-day sex may not be the best plan if you’re going to be doing a lot of yard work! Plan to wash up a bit if necessary before each quickie — baby wipes are awesome.
  • Cleanup. Put a washcloth or baby wipes in your pocket to help with cleanup.
  • Scout ahead. If you’re at home you can just go to your bedroom, but if you’re elsewhere keep your eyes open for appropriate locations and opportunities.
  • Intimacy. Put some effort into creating intimacy. Hold hands, kiss, and look into each others’ eyes.
  • Husbands, conserve your energy. You need to give your wife an orgasm at the end of the day, so don’t spend all your potency on the quickies!
  • Have fun! Don’t be too focused on achieving a goal, focus on having fun with your spouse.

Since Sexy Corte and I are working from home these days we’re going to give this thing a try very soon and report back. Please leave some comments if you have any suggestions or tips!

Jockey Sex Position, Perfect for Snuggling 2

We first wrote about the jockey sex position over four years ago with lots of tips and tricks, and we’ve decided to write about it again because of a recent morning encounter that was especially intimate. Go read the earlier post for foundational information — we’re not going to repeat it all in this post.

People usually don’t think of rear-entry positions as being particularly intimate, with doggy style as the most notable example. Some wives feel that doggy style makes them feel disconnected or distant from their husband because of the limited touch and eye contact. Some wives also hesitate to embrace doggy style because the position makes them feel more vulnerable or submissive than they’re ready for. If you or your wife are feeling that way, then jockey position might be a great thing to try — it’s fun in its own way, and it could be a stepping stone towards doggy style.

If you aren’t familiar with jockey position, here’s a diagram from ChristianFriendlySexPositions.com that they call “flatiron”. They don’t have the jockey position in their database, but it’s the same as flatiron minus the pillow under the wife’s hips. (But feel free to use a pillow, it’s great.)

Jockey has a lot more skin contact than doggy style even though it isn’t face-to-face, and it’s wonderfully easy to hold hands in this position. Like all rear entry positions, jockey is probably best used after the wife has an orgasm or when she doesn’t want one. Sexy Corte has had an orgasm in this position (with a bullet vibrator), but jockey isn’t the best position for this.

Sexy Corte and I use jockey very frequently when she isn’t in the mood for an orgasm. What made this instance particularly memorable was the time I spent touching rather than thrusting. After entering her, instead of lying right down on her back I spent a while kneeling upright, rubbing and kissing all over her body. I love her butt, so this was a great opportunity to squeeze and spank her and the view was awesome. I kissed all over her back, shoulders, and neck, and rubbed her up and down from her hands to her butt.

Even though Sexy Corte didn’t want an orgasm, she really enjoyed this intimate attention. It was certainly sexual (because I was inside her the whole time), but the touching didn’t stimulate her to frustration like rubbing her clitoris would (without an orgasm). I love petting and kissing Sexy Corte, and it gratified me to give her that intimate physical pleasure when she didn’t want an orgasm.

Sexy Corte adds: Jockey is great, especially if I don’t want to have an orgasm. I like it because it’s relaxed and snuggly. We frequently do this position in the mornings when we’re both sleepy, and it’s very comfy for me and I can enjoy El Fury’s closeness and warmth. I have been able to orgasm in this position but it can be tricky to get the vibrator in the right spot. Anytime El Fury focuses on petting me I become incapacitated, and I always love a good petting session when we can connect like this.

What are you favorite sex positions for snuggling? Wives, what positions to you most enjoy if you aren’t in the mood for an orgasm?

Solve Your Marriage Difficulties By Having Sex 4

We get emails from people every day who are having problems of various kinds in their marriage, and the simplest, most direct solution is often just have sex. Obviously this isn’t true in every single case, but you’d be surprised how often sex itself can smooth over differences and disagreements.

How does it make you feel when your partner is cold and distant? Or when they’re critical and prickly? Does it make you want to rip their clothes off, order in a vat of whipped cream and install a chandelier to swing from?

No? Well there’s your problem – according, at least, to Michele Weiner-Davis, the marriage-guidance counsellor whose Ted talk explaining her unconventional advice to warring couples has been viewed almost 3.5 million times online.

Her advice couldn’t be simpler: shag. Do it even if you don’t want to, do it especially if you don’t want to and, most important of all, do it frequently whether you want to or not. To make it even clearer, she’s borrowed one of the most famous advertising slogans of recent times: Just Do It. “Your partner will be grateful, happier and therefore nicer, too,” she explains from her clinic in Colorado. “It’s a win-win situation for both of you!”

Over the years, Weiner-Davis has honed her message. She’s now stripped it back to what she believes is the essence of a successful marriage. Gone is any therapeutic consideration of a couple’s history; of their emotional travails; of cause and consequence. Now she is entirely one-track minded: no matter how appalling the state of a marriage, she believes that kind, generous and frequent sex can bring it back from the teetering edge of collapse.

Let’s expand on the idea a little! Here are a bunch of related posts.

Sometimes we can get so wrapped up “communicating” that we forget the importance of body language. Maybe you should quit talking about your problems for a while and go have sex!

Set Your Alarm for Morning Sex 5

This post is also the topic of a podcast dialogue between El Fury and Sexy Corte: Podcast #017: Dialogue: Morning Sex

Finding time to have sex can be hard when you’ve got jobs and kids, and if you wait for the end of the day you may be frequently frustrated by a lack of energy and enthusiasm. Sexy Corte and I have found that the morning is often the most efficient and reliable time of day for us to have sex, but it does require some planning.

We’ve written before about the benefits of having sex before date night instead of after, and the same benefits apply to morning sex. Quote:

  • Oxytocin: Orgasms get your bonding hormones flowing, which will jump-start intimacy for your date.
  • No pressure: There won’t be any pressure to make sex the capstone of your date when you get home late. We find that it’s especially hard for Sexy Corte to summon up the energy for an orgasm late at night, no matter how great a time we’re having. Time of day has a big impact on many wives, and it doesn’t always line up with date night.
  • Lingering arousal: Date nights are a great opportunity to talk positively about your sex life together — what you like, what you want to try, how it feels when your spouse touches you just — like — that. If you have sex before your date, the lingering arousal can fuel your conversation. It’s hot to look at your spouse across the restaurant table and know that you just rocked their world!
  • Mementos: You can carry a memento of your recent sex with you on your date. For example: a secret hickey or lingerie. It’s a huge turn-on for me just knowing that my semen is still inside Sexy Corte when we go out. We’ve also talked about the idea of me finishing on her body and SC wearing it under her clothes, but we haven’t done it yet.

Your whole day will be better if you kick it off with sex! So how can you prepare for morning sex?

  • Be proactive. You probably won’t just tumble into reliable morning sex — you have to be intentional. Talk with your spouse about it, and decide how you’re going to communicate your interest (or lack thereof) in the morning when you’re both drowsy. Decide before you go to sleep if you’re likely to have sex the next morning or not.
  • Set an alarm. We actually set three alarms! First alarm is for if Sexy Corte wants an orgasm that morning; otherwise we cuddle. Second alarm is for if we’re going to have a quickie. Third alarm means that it’s actually time to get out of bed. (We may be classically conditioning ourselves to have sex when the alarm rings.)
  • Be prepared. Keep your tools ready: lube, vibrator (with batteries), rags, and whatever else you need. Having to find some missing essential can really break your momentum.
  • Sleep naked. As Sexy Corte wrote: “Not only does your skin feel amazing right up against your spouse’s, but feeling nice and silky sheets as you sleep is an added bonus. If your spouse is always wanting sex in the morning, but you have a hard time rousing yourself for it, sleeping naked is an excellent way to get yourself in the mood.” Wives should try some thigh-high socks in the winter to stay warm and sexy — as an added bonus, women have an easier time reaching orgasm when their feet are warm.

Do you have any tips for morning sex? Leave a comment to share.

Would You Have Sex With Your Time-Traveling Spouse? 6

You’re on your honeymoon having a great time, and your spouse decides to go for a run on the beach for an hour or so.

You hear a knock at the door. When you crack it open, you see your spouse standing there, wearing different clothes and looking slightly off.

Your spouse says, “Hello! I know this is hard to believe, but the reason I look a little strange is that I’m 10 years older and I traveled back in time. I’ve got important time traveler business to take care of, but I wanted to drop in and see you. I knew that present-me would be out on a run right now. In the future our marriage is awesome and everything turns out great for us. I really shouldn’t tell you too many details — you understand.”

You aren’t sure how to respond, but you know your spouse is telling the truth.

Your spouse continues: “Well, we’ve got almost an hour. You look great. You can’t tell present-me about any of this when I come back from my run, but don’t worry… I’ll be thrilled about this encounter in 10 years when I come up with the idea… and I’ve learned a few techniques that present-me won’t figure out for a while. Want to have sex?”

Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 7

It’s (past) time for another roundup of Christian sex links! Check out these blogs, we’re sure you’ll find something you like.

Your wife doesn’t always know when she’s aroused — Her indications of arousal aren’t as obvious (to either of you) as is a husband’s erection!

Several links about initiating sex:

Wives, don’t be afraid of your husband’s manhood!

How to have “vacation sex” when you’re not on vacation — Be prepared and bring your own lock when you’re actually on vacation!

Your husband needs a girlfriend — Hint: it’s you!

Ten minutes and lube — Quickies alone don’t make a great sex life.

Talk about sex outside the bedroom — Interesting advice for preserving the tranquility of your sex room.

Submission and headship, with handy four-quadrant diagrams — Definitely hard concepts to understand in our modern culture.

“When I orgasm, I shake all over” — Intense, uncontrollable sexual responsiveness from the wife is really hot.

Memorable first thrust technique — “Many women, once aroused and full of anticipation for intercourse, consider the first thrust to be their favorite part of intercourse.”

Don’t miss the good part of her cycle — It’s something we’ve started planning around!

Take advantage of every opportunity to talk with your kids about sex — “When our kids are curious and comfortable talking about sex, we think they are too young and by the time we think we should talk to them about sex, they are embarrassed.”

Three posts with wedding night tips for virgin brides: “What do I do?”, making the mental leap from “no” to “yes”, and “how to I avoid pain?” — Also great for new husbands to read.

Is your spouse really showing you all of his or her sexuality? — Fear/avoidance of rejection is common, even in marriage. How can you assure your spouse that he or she can really share any desire with you?

Erotic wisdom in Proverbs 5 — Hint: “fountains”, “wells”, and “cisterns” are symbolism.

If you have any links you want to share, leave them in the comments!

How to Turn Your Husband On in Public 8

Wives, what’s the worst thing about going out in public? The answer is obvious: when you’re in public, you’re not having sex with your husband. (Unless you are.) So, in an effort to make boring public events a little more bearable, here are a few ideas for how to turn your husband on while you’re around other people.

  • Take off your panties. Excuse yourself for a moment, slip them off, and subtly stuff your panties into his hand when you come back. “I won’t be needing these anymore.” I guarantee he won’t be thinking of anything else for the rest of the night. This works especially well when you’re ready to leave and your husband isn’t taking the hint. Bonus points: secret message panties.
  • Flash some skin. Once those panties are off, give him a sneak peek. Or find a private corner and flash your boobs. Bonus points for letting him touch.
  • Talk dirty. Pull him aside as if you need to talk about the kids, and then whisper something sexy to him. “I need you inside me”, “I’m so wet right now”, “I can’t wait to suck you off”.
  • Text dirty. Even easier than talking! You can even send a sexy pic that you took earlier.
  • Remote vibrator. Give him the remote control for the vibrator you’re wearing.
  • Sit on his lap. This is pretty innocuous, but a little strategic wiggling can have a huge effect. Bonus points if your panties are already in his pocket.
  • Under the table. Rub high on his leg under the table, or pull his hand up your inner thigh. Drop something under the table and ask him to get it, then flash your panties (or lack thereof).
  • Put up your hair. This requires that you condition your husband to expect oral sex when he sees this. Wink.
  • Secret sex reminders. Wear or carry something that isn’t obviously a sex toy, but that your husband will recognize. For example, a bracelet made from your shibari rope. You can also mention mundane aspects of recent sexy time activities. I always know what she means when Sexy Corte mentions trivia night or poetry reading.
  • Meet me in two minutes. Scout out a place for a quickie. After you’ve got him turned on using one of the above methods, tell him to meet you there in two minutes.

Maybe it goes without saying, but don’t forget to deliver on your promises when you get home!

We’d love to hear your ideas in the comments.

Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 9

Hey there, it’s been a while! Time for some awesome sex links. We’ve got some catching up to do!

The ONE Tip That Will Make Sex Feel Great!

When you’re making love, simply ask yourself these two questions:

What feels good right now?

and

Where do I want to be touched right now?

What Does He Really Want Sexually? — Don’t ask if you don’t want to know. It’s hard to share what you really want.

Slow Side by Side Sex — A relaxing position.

Why are men obsessed with breasts? — Because they’re awesome? Also some survey results about rough sex.

Don’t have sex in the dark — Watching your spouse orgasm is amazing. Maintain eye contact.

“My Husband Can’t Make Me Submit to Him or Respect Him!” — Husbandly love and wifely submission are not optional, they are commanded by God.

10 Foam Roller Exercercises To Relieve Muscle Soreness And Better Sex — Shoot, we just threw our foam roller away!

Sleeping Naked: 5 Amazing Reasons It’s Good For Your Health — We used to do better with this… but kids.

When Bad Language is a Turn On During Sex. Is This Okay? — Yes.

Can Sex Be Used as Comfort? Yes, But… — Good post. Do you and your spouse use sex to comfort each other? I don’t think Sexy Corte and I do, but maybe we could try?

What a quickie taught us about sexual intimacy. — “He told me what he wanted: a good orgasm that happened as soon as possible.”

Sometimes, Your Husband Needs a Girlfriend — Remember how we acted when we were dating?

That’s it for now! If you’ve got a link you want to share please post it in the comments.

Prepare for Spontaneity: Cleaning Up After Sex 10

Everyone loves to be spontaneous when it comes to sex, and many couples feel that a lot of planning or scheduling can ruin the mood. However, a little advance preparation can grease the wheels (insert lubrication joke here) for future spontaneity. One of the biggest deterrents to spontaneous away-from-the-bedroom sex can be worrying about the aftermath: sex is messy! So here’s a simple tip: take an old wash cloth with you wherever you go. It’s easy to stash a washcloth in the glove box of your car, in your backpack, in your purse, or in your briefcase. You’ll be ready for spontaneous sex whenever you’ve got 10 minutes to kill alone with your spouse and you won’t have to worry about cleaning up.

Even for the bedroom Sexy Corte and I keep a drawer full of old wash cloths right next to the bed. We call them our “sex rags” — not a very sexy name, but very handy for after sex that isn’t near shower time.

Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 11

This installment of Links of the Week is sure to rock your world!

Needs: Part 1 — Yes, quickies are awesome when you gotta go. Like candy. Shouldn’t be all you eat, but a few times a day doesn’t hurt….

Finding Friends to Support Your Marital Intimacy — Make friends that build up you and your marriage. Negative friends who constantly complain about their spouses won’t do your marriage any good. Brag about your spouse!

Three gifts from Journey to Surrender: The Gift of “As You Wish” In the Bedroom, The Gift of Sex, and The Gift of Yourself

Sex During Pregnancy Infographic