Date Idea: Bring a Vibrator For Her To Use in the Car 1

Here’s a daring activity for your next date: bring a vibrator for the wife to use in the passenger seat while the husband is driving. It seems pretty self-explanatory, but here are some ideas to make the most of it.

  • Prepare your sex kit. Bring her favorite vibrator, some lube, and some washcloths to clean up.
  • Dress appropriately. That is, the wife should wear a dress or skirt and either remove her panties when she gets in the car, or simply go without — either way can be very sexy.
  • Put him in the drivers seat. Even though the wife is holding the vibrator, put the husband in charge of controlling how she uses it. Let the husband decide what power level to use, where she places the vibrator and her fingers, and when or if the wife can have an orgasm. If the wife wants something, she can ask … or beg. He can tell her to go faster or slower, how to to use her fingers, or to get right to the edge of orgasm.
  • Put on a show. The husband should be focused on driving safely, and the wife should do her best to put on a show for him — presentation is everything! She should pull up her dress, throw her legs open, and moan his name loudly as she pleasures herself. Ask the husband what he wants to hear — his name, moaning, purring, or her begging to feel him inside her.
  • Private in public. The wife’s head and shoulders will be visible, but her lower body will be hidden and no one will be able to hear her moaning. This makes for an exciting but safe way to explore sex in public.
  • Arriving at her destination. When she’s close and he’s ready, the husband can give his wife permission to orgasm. Maybe the ride out is a just a warm-up, and she doesn’t get to finish until the ride home. Either way, she should make her orgasm part of the show for him — make it long, and loud, and sensual… whatever will drive him wild.
  • Afterwards. Did you just start your date, or are you home? The husband will be pretty aroused by this point, so I hope the wife is ready for it. If you’re home, well, you know what to do. If you’re still out… it’s time to turn the heat up even higher.

If this idea turns on you and your spouse, here are a few other posts that might connect with you:

If you try this yourself, leave us a comment and let us know how it goes.

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A Little Wager 2

I don’t think a certain elected Official will serve out his full term, but Sexy Corte does. So we have a little wager. She wanted me to write this out so that there wouldn’t be any ambiguity (when I win!).

If the Official serves his full elected term then I will plan a fun and exciting date with Sexy Corte. I will arrange child care, and whatever else is required.

If the Official doesn’t serve his full term for any reason, then Sexy Corte has to show me her boobs for at least five seconds every time she comes down to the basement. She has to continue doing this until the the end of the day on which the Official’s term would have normally ended.

I have to say, I’m very excited for this bet. Even if Sexy Corte wins, I get to take her on an awesome date! Do you ever make bets like this with your spouse? Who won, and what were the rewards?

(See also: Fun Rewards For Sex Game Winners.)

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Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 3

Here are some fun sex links to kick off summer!

A Wife Who Enjoys Giving Oral Sex? YES! — See also: Q&A: How Do I Get My Wife to Swallow and Enjoy It?, Three More Female Perspectives on Giving Oral Sex, How To Make Semen Taste Better

Eyes Open Orgasm — We’ve written about the intimacy of eye contact during sex, along with holding hands.

3 Fun Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life Using the Bible — Basically three fun date ideas.

Make Your Marriage More Fun — We’ve got a few fun ideas for you, too!

75 Ideas for Spicing Up Your Sex Life — That’s a lot of ideas.

3 Things That Make Sex Great — They all boil down to enthusiasm.

You Need a Sex Date and You Need a Period Sex Plan.

Do You NEED More Sexual Variety? — Perhaps surprisingly, the post indicates that wives want more novelty and report more boredom with routine sex than husbands do.

Sexy Metalwork — We’re not really into piercings, but the Bible doesn’t condemn them. See also: Secret Engravings Gift Idea.

Creative Sex in Marriage — Make your default answer “yes”.

18 Things I’d Tell 16-Year-Old Me About Sex and Relationships — If you have kids, these will make for a great conversation with your spouse.

The Perks and Pitfalls of Sex Research — A really excellent post! We’ll add: The most important sex research for your marriage is the research you do with your own spouse. Be an intentional student of your spouse and you’ll learn a lot.

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How to use a wireless vibrator in the wife’s panties to create a secret, naughty adventure while you’re on a date.

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Wearing and Using a Vibrator in Public: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/mental-techniques/wearing-and-using-a-vibrator-in-public/

Wearing and Using a Vibrator in Public, Part 2: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/locations/wearing-and-using-a-vibrator-in-public-part-2/

Wearing and Using a Vibrator in Public, Part 3: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/stories/wearing-and-using-a-vibrator-in-public-part-3/

Wearing and Using a Vibrator in Public, Part 4: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/stories/wearing-and-using-a-vibrator-in-public-part-4/

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Build Your Own 12-Volt Car-Powered Over-The-Clothes Vibrator 4

I finally understand why chicks did motorcycles: built-in vibrating seats. Yep, that’s right, you can install a vibrator directly into the passenger seat of your bike to give your wife quite an exciting ride.

Build Your Own 12-Volt Car-Powered Over-The-Clothes Vibrator 5

Build Your Own 12-Volt Car-Powered Over-The-Clothes Vibrator 6

(And apparently there are vibrating bicycle seats too?)

Build Your Own 12-Volt Car-Powered Over-The-Clothes Vibrator 7

Build Your Own 12-Volt Car-Powered Over-The-Clothes Vibrator 8

But why should motorcycle riders have all the fun? When I saw these products I realized that it would be pretty easy to replicate the experience in our sensible sedan. If you or your spouse are just a little bit handy with electricity it’s simple to build your own 12-volt car-powered over-the-clothes vibrator!

Here are the three parts you need to buy — all easily available from eBay or other online sources for under $20 total.

  1. 12-volt male plug (for cigarette lighter).
    Build Your Own 12-Volt Car-Powered Over-The-Clothes Vibrator 9
  2. 12-volt dimmer knob.
    Build Your Own 12-Volt Car-Powered Over-The-Clothes Vibrator 10
  3. 12-volt vibrating massage motor (Uxcell is the most likely brand). I suggest getting a motor that includes the plastic housing, seen below.
    Build Your Own 12-Volt Car-Powered Over-The-Clothes Vibrator 11

Once you have all the parts, assembling the device is pretty easy. For car use I didn’t install the vibrator into the seat — you don’t straddle a car seat like you do a motorcycle seat, so that positioning wouldn’t be ideal anyway. You’ll need some wire-cutters (or needle-nose pliers) and a small screwdriver.

  1. Measure your distance. How far will the vibrator need to reach from your cigarette lighter to the wife’s lady bits? Make sure to leave some slack, but you don’t want too much wire or you’ll get a tangled mess. You should also decide where you want the dimmer knob located, so you need to decide on length for the wires from the plug to the knob, and from the knob to the motor.
  2. Cut the wires. And strip 1/4 inch of insulation from the tips of each wire so you can install them into the knob switch.
  3. Install the wires into the knob switch. Use a small screwdriver to install your four wires into the receptacles on the knob switch. For DC (direct current) power, red wires are positive/+ and black wires are negative/-.
  4. Test. Plug it in, turn on the car, and make sure it works. When you turn the knob the motor should modulate its power. If it doesn’t work, make sure your wiring is correct — is the metal of each wire in contact with the metal in its switch receptacle? Are reds in positive and blacks in negative? If your wiring is right and it still doesn’t work you may have a defective part.
  5. Bundle the wires. If you have pairs of loose wires you can bundle them together to neaten things up. Use small zip ties and/or electrician tape to protect the pairs of wires and hold them together to reduce tangles.

Your new car toy has two incredible benefits:

  1. Over-the clothes power. The 12-volt motor should be much more powerful than a battery-operated vibrator! This means the wife doesn’t need to get undressed to use it — it can reach through her clothes! You know we’re a fan of using a wireless remote vibrator that tucks into Sexy Corte’s panties, and it’s great for when we’re walking around, in a restaurant, or in a theater, but it also requires advanced preparation. She has to put the vibrator in her panties before we leave, and it can be awkward to reposition because it’s buried under layers of clothes. You can’t use this car vibrator walking around, but when you’re using it in the car you don’t need to mess with the wife’s clothes.
  2. Infinite duration. As long as you’ve got gas in the car you’ve got vibration! The wireless remote vibrator we use can go for around 45 minutes, but this car vibrator never runs out of juice. You can use it in tons of ways: coming and going from your date; park and play while the wife performs oral; on a road trip (keep quiet and put a movie on in back!); the wife can build up sexual tension with edging while she drives home from work or the store; the husband can tease her by controlling the knob. Limitless fun!

We hope you enjoy this project. Leave a comment and tell us what you think, especially if you build a car vibrator for yourself!

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Have Sex Before Your Date Instead of After 12

Date nights are essential for intimacy and connection, especially after you have kids. It’s fun to go out to dinner, see a movie, go for a hike, or do an escape room — and it can be just as fun (and even more relaxing) to have a stay-date at home after the kids are in bed. However you do it, date nights are great!

One of the things we’ve realized over the past several years is that we really don’t like staying up late. No matter how late we’re out, those darn kids wake up at the same time every day! In fact, by the time we get home from a date at 10 or 11 we’re pretty wiped out. Sex takes energy, even after a romantic, intimate evening together. But after a date with your spouse you’re supposed to have sex, right? It feels anticlimactic to just crawl into bed and go to sleep.

Fortunately there’s a simple solution: have sex before you go on your date. It can be right before you leave, during nap time in the afternoon, or in the morning before the kids come knocking —  give each other an orgasm to kick-off your date right! Here are some advantages to having sex before your date:

  • Oxytocin: Orgasms get your bonding hormones flowing, which will jump-start intimacy for your date.
  • No pressure: There won’t be any pressure to make sex the capstone of your date when you get home late. We find that it’s especially hard for Sexy Corte to summon up the energy for an orgasm late at night, no matter how great a time we’re having. Time of day has a big impact on many wives, and it doesn’t always line up with date night.
  • Lingering arousal: Date nights are a great opportunity to talk positively about your sex life together — what you like, what you want to try, how it feels when your spouse touches you just — like — that. If you have sex before your date, the lingering arousal can fuel your conversation. It’s hot to look at your spouse across the restaurant table and know that you just rocked their world!
  • Mementos: You can carry a memento of your recent sex with you on your date. For example: a secret hickey or lingerie. It’s a huge turn-on for me just knowing that my semen is still inside Sexy Corte when we go out. We’ve also talked about the idea of me finishing on her body and SC wearing it under her clothes, but we haven’t done it yet.

The downside of having sex before your date is that you lose some of the angsty build-up, but hey, there’s no rule that you can’t have sex again after! (Or during.)

So when do you have sex on date night? I’m sure we’re not the only ones who are tired when we get home!

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Date Night Conversation Starters 13

When Sexy Corte and I go out on a date we usually do dinner plus an activity. (Usually not a movie, because there’s hardly ever anything we want to see.) But for our last date night, instead of an physical activity we decided to focus on each other by having a great conversation. Our lives are so busy that when we have time to sit down and really talk it’s usually about something “important”, and we often revisit the same topics: our amazing kids, our upcoming activities, our friends, our church, etc. Those are all great, but for this date we used a fantastic tool created by The Generous Wife to prompt us in different directions: A Year of Questions for You and Your Spouse.

The list of questions is available as a PDF, and it’s intended to give you one question to discuss with your spouse every day for a year. For our date, however, we used random.org to pick random questions for us (1 – 366) and we went through about a dozen over the course of two hours. The questions covered a lot of territory and we learned a lot about each other — almost like we were first dating again!

We also used our new wireless vibrator during dinner, which is always a blast. It’s pretty sexy to watch your wife get all flustered when you buzz her while she’s trying to decide what language she wants to learn or what she liked best about her first job. The vibrator turns her on, and her arousal drives me insane. Important tip: make sure you have a fully charged vibrator at home for after your date! The wireless one she’s wearing will eventually run out of juice, and you don’t want to leave her hanging.

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Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 14

Some great posts to link to this week. I almost linked to a post about spanking that was pretty explicit, but then decided not to.

Gain confidence in the bedroom — Nothing is sexier than enthusiasm and responsiveness: embrace your sexuality!

“And felt grateful my husband and I had made love last night. God must have known I needed it.” — Making love makes more love.

Does the way you avoid sex add to the emotional disconnection? — “Not right now” is an acceptable answer sometimes, but it’s better to just say so than to passive-aggressively avoid sex.

Why did God make sex so hard? — (Haha, “hard”. Ok, I’m childish.) But why should something great be easy?

“It’s Getting Hot in Here” Sex Game — Who doesn’t like sex games?

Husbands, do you text with your wife from work? — SC and I text pretty much every day, but it’s mostly mundane rather than sexual.

Why do men think sex is a reward? — Because it’s something we want, and sometimes it’s scarce. I previously wrote that sexual favors can be one kind of prize for the winner of a sex game, but that idea is controversial. Should sex never be used as a reward?

Female anatomy and orgasm from PIV sex — “your ability or inability to orgasm during intercourse is because you were born that way”.

Ten 30-minute date ideas — Or spend five hours doing them all in a row!

On the topic of edging — Edging is fun and can lead to huge orgasms.

Got another link to share? Leave a comment!

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Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 15

Hey there, it’s been a while! Time for some awesome sex links. We’ve got some catching up to do!

The ONE Tip That Will Make Sex Feel Great!

When you’re making love, simply ask yourself these two questions:

What feels good right now?

and

Where do I want to be touched right now?

What Does He Really Want Sexually? — Don’t ask if you don’t want to know. It’s hard to share what you really want.

Slow Side by Side Sex — A relaxing position.

Why are men obsessed with breasts? — Because they’re awesome? Also some survey results about rough sex.

Don’t have sex in the dark — Watching your spouse orgasm is amazing. Maintain eye contact.

“My Husband Can’t Make Me Submit to Him or Respect Him!” — Husbandly love and wifely submission are not optional, they are commanded by God.

10 Foam Roller Exercercises To Relieve Muscle Soreness And Better Sex — Shoot, we just threw our foam roller away!

Sleeping Naked: 5 Amazing Reasons It’s Good For Your Health — We used to do better with this… but kids.

When Bad Language is a Turn On During Sex. Is This Okay? — Yes.

Can Sex Be Used as Comfort? Yes, But… — Good post. Do you and your spouse use sex to comfort each other? I don’t think Sexy Corte and I do, but maybe we could try?

What a quickie taught us about sexual intimacy. — “He told me what he wanted: a good orgasm that happened as soon as possible.”

Sometimes, Your Husband Needs a Girlfriend — Remember how we acted when we were dating?

That’s it for now! If you’ve got a link you want to share please post it in the comments.

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Surprise Your Husband 16

One of my most memorable dates with El Fury involved our car, a napkin, and a skirt. We had had a crazy day with the kids and both of us needed a little break. Last minute we asked a friend to watch them so that we could get out for a few hours. I threw on a skirt and a nice top, we dropped the kids off and went out for ice cream. El Fury didn’t know that I had a little trick up my sleeve.

In the middle of our date, I wrote him a note on a napkin and slid it over to him. He unfolded it, read it, and got a sly smile on his face. The note simply said, “I’m not wearing any panties”.  He was too distracted after that, so we immediately finished our ice cream and got out of there. We drove to the nearest dead end we could find. All he had to do was pull down his pants a little, and all I had to do was hop on. We had amazing sex, definitely in my top 5!

I love it when El Fury is thoughtful and romantic. For him, and probably most men I would guess, it meant a lot to him that I thought out and planned a sexual surprise. He likes knowing that I think about and initiate a lot of our sexy time. Something so simple can go a long way. Women, think of a way to surprise your husband sexually.

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