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Sex Q&A: Physical Touch, Sex Toys, Chapped Lips 1

It’s time for the mail bag!

Husband “RE” writes:

In a nutshell, my marriage to my wife for now 11 years has never been equal sexually. I have my faults and selfishness but thank The Lord he has healed me and corrected me in so many things over the years. We have 5 kids together and our youngest is 2 now. I would like more physical touch while she is completely fine not touching me for days and weeks. I don’t want to struggle anymore and have prayed countless time why are we so very different in this way. Even when I do everything right, go on dates etc., our sex life is probably 3 times a month. Our time on earth is so short and I wish this wasn’t a struggle for me or a big deal.

My first thought reading your email is that I remember when our kids were 2. I stayed home with them, and by the end of the day I often felt over-touched. When they were so little there was such a physical demand on my body that I felt like it was public property in a way. El Fury would come home from work and I wasn’t ready to give him physical affection. In a similar way, he spends most of his work day talking and often isn’t ready to engage mentally right when he gets done working. It helped both of us a lot to disengage and have some alone time. This refreshed us and then we were ready to be together. For me, even just showering by myself and taking my time alone was enough to make me ready for even a hug from El Fury. He needed to zone out or work out, and then he was ready to talk.

It also important to guard our time together in the evening. Kids can easily take over! After 7pm is grown-up time, and we’ve tried to protect that even as our kids have gotten older. We have to pause to put them to bed, but there is an expectation that we spend evenings together.

I would recommend communicating with your wife in a positive goal-oriented manner. Don’t focus on what she is or isn’t doing. Instead, communicate together — what would you like your sex life to look like and how can you work together towards that goal? What do you need from each other? Try to make it a positive, productive dialogue.

El Fury adds: The phrase “even when I do everything right” makes me think that you have a covert contract with your wife that she doesn’t know about and never agreed to. If you want to get laid in exchange for doing things your wife enjoys, you should talk about that explicitly. (Exactly what this arrangement might look like depends on your marriage; I don’t recommend that it be purely transactional, because that’s not generally healthy for loving relationships.)

Wife “HH” writes:

I’m 18 and I’m newly married. (Yes I know that’s crazy young lol). My husband and I have different beliefs about what sex can be. He’s Catholic and I’m Baptist. I believe sex toys, masturbating together, and anal performed on both me and him are okay! My husband is strongly against all of those things. I struggle to ever get aroused sadly no matter how horny I am, “in the mood” or how long we do anything… it has taken a toll on my mental health and is something that has effected our marriage. He knows how badly I want to add vibrators or any toy into our sex life to help aroused me but he’s told me he would never be open to it. Before I met my husband I had a vibrator and I was able to climax every time I used it. I’m very heartbroken thinking that I will not be able to. I’m on medication to help my blood flow to get me aroused, I’ve had medicated lube for blow flow and we have tried orgasmic meditation every time we have sex. We pray together but I think we need more advice on what to do. I also have to beg sometimes for sex with us very discouraging.

There are things that El Fury and I have done that I thought I would never be open to, so be encouraged that sometimes people just need to get used to an idea. It’s great that you pray together.

The Bible talks a lot about sex, but doesn’t specify exactly what is and isn’t allowed. El Fury and I believe that God is very clear in the Bible when there is something that He doesn’t want you to do. For sex, as long as it’s between two consenting people inside the marriage, then we believe it’s good and acceptable. If something brings intimacy to the marriage, then we believe that is honoring to God.

For myself, I can’t orgasm during sex unless we use a vibrator. The use of that tool has greatly enhanced the intimacy of our marriage. It’s not about the tool, it’s about what the tool enables me to do. I think sometimes men can feel insecure if they aren’t able to bring their wives to orgasm. However, the majority of women (2/3) cannot orgasm from penetration alone. Try talking to your husband about his opposition, and make sure he knows that your primary goal is to increase your intimacy together. In your conversations with him, if you emphasize that you want your sex life with him to be amazing. That may alleviate any insecurity he is feeling.

Finally, start slow. You have the rest of your lives together to explore each other. You don’t have to do everything all at once! Start with what will lead to both of you having greater satisfaction in your sex life, and maybe leave some of the other things like anal to explore down the road.

Husband “EE” writes:

My wife and I are newlyweds and were both virgins when we got married. On our honeymoon, as part of exploration/foreplay, I went down on her. She had reservations at first, but ended up loving it. Fast -forward a few months, and she doesn’t want me to go down on her anymore. She says “it still feels good, but it makes me feel chapped after a while.” She agreed to try it again recently for a short while as foreplay, but within 10 seconds she felt chapped again.

My question is, have you heard of this before? Since we’re both virgins we don’t have any experience except with each other. I absolutely love giving her head, and would do it every day even if we didn’t have time for me to have an orgasm after. She clearly enjoys the sensations, but having her lips feeling chapped afterwards is of course a big downer.

I haven’t heard this before, but it isn’t surprising considering how chapped the lips on your mouth can get. When El Fury and I were newlyweds it did take my body a while to adjust to having sex, including oral sex. Hopefully this is something that will work itself out over time.

There are a few things you can try to keep her moisturized. An edible lube might be a good place to start when you’re performing oral on her. You may also try shaving very smoothly before you go down on her, to make sure your facial hair isn’t abrading her skin. If the problem persists I would recommend talking to your doctor.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will never reveal your name or any other identifying information.

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Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 2

Spring is here, and love is in the air!

Masturbating For Your Husband: How To Start and Touching Yourself — We’ve written about Mutual Masturbation and Finishing on Her Body and you can also incorporate masturbation into Role-Playing: Photographer and Model

Ideas to sexually tease your husband — see also How to Turn Your Husband On in Public

How to Make Your Wife Squirt, and from Women’s Health, How To Make Yourself Squirt During Sex

Sexual Assertiveness Training for husbands — see also How to Get Your Wife to Lust for You. If you want to use role-playing to practice husbandly assertive, check out Role-Playing: Bratty Wife.

Shave My What? — see also Sex Q&A: How Do I Get My Wife to Shave “Down There”?, Should I Shave My Balls? Yes!, and Licking Balls

Tips for Hotter Sex and How to Get Into Difficult Sex Positions

10 Things To Know about Medieval Sex and 10 Weird Things Victorians Believed about Sex — see also Can we *BLANK*? Not in the Middle Ages!, Historical Sexual Slang and Oral Sex in History, Including Paradise Lost

Finally, here are tons of sex games from The Undefiled Marriage Bed. They apparently like water guns a lot.

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Husbands can Learn from What Women Look For in Casual Sex Partners 3

Wives aren’t looking for casual sex partners (hopefully!), but husbands can learn a few things from the preferences of women who are looking for casual sex. Let’s look at the six elements listed in the article, even though we only have limited influence over several of the items.

1. You need to be taller than her.

Sadly, height bias is still very much real: 89. 5 percent of respondents said their short-term partner had to be taller than them, and only 11.9 percent viewed height as unimportant.

There’s not much you can do to make yourself taller! If you’re wearing shoes and your wife is barefoot then you can add an extra inch or so. You can position yourself above your wife in some circumstances, but not always.

2. But you don’t necessarily need to be smarter.

While having similar education levels may be important for women seeking a lifelong mate, only 46.7 percent of American women thought intelligence was an important trait in a casual partner.

Well that’s a relief! Just like height, there isn’t much you can do to make yourself smarter — but you can make yourself more interesting. If you’ve been married for very long at all, you may have noticed that your wife’s panties don’t drop to the floor when you solve an equation or win an argument on the internet. Raw intelligence isn’t as impressive as what you can do with it: write a poem, build a vibrator, use classical conditioning to enhance her orgasms.

3. Hair is great, but only if it’s on your face.

While bearded men are still beloved around the world, most women said they’d prefer a short haircut and a hairless chest for a fling than luscious locks and a virtual forest of upper body hair.

Finally! Something completely under our control. Here are some tips for husbandly grooming, and yes, you should shave your balls. Put in the (minor!) effort required to be clean and fresh.

4. You don’t have to be buff.

Unsurprisingly, about half (51.8 percent) of all women surveyed considered body type to be a very important factor when deciding on a partner for a casual encounter. But if you don’t have a six-pack or bulging biceps, don’t fret. Fit, athletic physiques were found to be the most popular among women (50.3 percent), followed by “average” body types (29.1 percent). Only 7.8 percent said they wanted someone who was very muscular.

Even if being fit and athletic doesn’t come naturally to you — as it doesn’t for me — you can take action to become the best possible you. Lift some weights. Go for a run (together!). Pick her up. You might also benefit from some more fitted clothing than you’re used to.

5. Your ethnicity and religion don’t matter.

Well ok!

6. And don’t forget to smile!

Having an attractive smile was one of the most important factors for women from almost every country in the Clue survey. So, when you’re on your date, remember to show that you’re enjoying yourself by flashing those pearly whites!

Mouthwash, toothbrush, and floss — and use some over-the-counter whitening product. But don’t just smile all the time for no reason, that’s a signal of unease, desperation, and submission for men.

Husband: if you want more casual sex with your wife, make yourself an attractive casual sex partner! (Your wife will thank you.)

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Husbands, if you want your wife to be more enthusiastic about sex then it’s important to maintain proper hygiene and basic physical fitness, and we’re going to give you some very practical tips in both of these areas.

If this podcast is a blessing to you, please leave us a 5-star review on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Do You Even Lift?: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/information/do-you-even-lift/

Husbandly Hygiene: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/information/husbandly-hygiene/

The 4-Week Beginner’s Guide to Building a Stronger, More Muscular Physique: https://www.muscleandfitness.com/workouts/workout-routines/4-week-beginners-guide-building-stronger-more-muscular-physique

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 10:48 — 12.4MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | About the Podcast

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End of 2017 Q&A Round-Up 4

We hope you all had a Merry Christmas and are looking forward to 2018. To finish up the year here at Married Christian Sex, we want to share some emails we’ve gotten from our readers — mostly questions for Sexy Corte that have piled up! We love reading your comments and questions, so please shoot us a message (El Fury or Sexy Corte) and we’ll do our best to get back to you. As always, we won’t share anything on the blog without your permission, and we never share names or email addresses.

We especially love to hear from people who have been blessed by our blog! Husband “ONN” writes a very encouraging note:

We came across your blog about a month ago and started reading all the articles you have. We had a very good marriage and a wonderful sex life and didn’t think it could get much better than what it was. We have started applying some of the things we read and have stepped our marriage up to a whole new level. We have decided that we will try new things with an open mind to see how it feels and then decide if we like it or not. Now that you have opened our minds to some of the scripture it is easier to do some of things that are considered taboo and not feel like we are sinning or shameful. We are more relaxed and don’t miss a day without having sex at least once. Now our expectation is that we are having sex every night and we look forward to it. The article that started us was the one titled “yes you should swallow”. After reading that and showing my wife the article we began talking about it and left it up to her for the final decision. When she finally decided to do it I was amazed and very excited about it. This opened up our minds to trying new experiences and techniques. We have decided that as long as it helps our marriage and only involves the two of us we will try it and see if we like it.

Thank you for posting these articles and helping people have a more fulfilling sex life the way God intended it to be.  This is all I have time to write, it is time for us to go have sex now!!

Wife “GP” asks Sexy Corte about shaving:

I’ve been married for 6 years. I perform oral sex for my husband a good bit and we both enjoy it. However, I really want him to perform oral on me too. He’s mentioned it a good bit during intimate moments but I just brush it off. I’m a little embarrassed for him to because of my hair. If I shave, I break out in bumps bad. Any advice?

And SC replies:

Hair definitely gets in the way of oral! :) I don’t shave completely because of the bumps, but leave a little ‘landing strip’ so that it doesn’t get rough.

Questions about shaving come up a lot, including from wife “IT” who includes some encouragement for us:

I’ve got a question about shaving. I’m using hormone replacement therapy (BHRT) that really improves my libido, but also causes my hair “down there” to grow faster. I like to keep it bare, but do I need a personal shaver or something?

Also, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate how candid you two are on your blog! I had never considered using a vibrator before… it had to be “wrong”. I had always been able to reach orgasm from my husband’s touch, but over time he has had to work harder and harder to get me there. After reading your blog we decided to use an egg vibrator, and we both love it! It’s easier for both of us, and the sex is great! I bet lots of wives would be more motivated for sex if they knew how much fun it could be.

We love these emails! SC responds:

Thanks so much for the encouragement! Our whole goal is to help married couples find joy in sex. I’m so glad our site has been a blessing to you!

Shaving is tricky, and everyone is different. I totally understand about the prickly thing, which is why I always leave a “landing strip” (which is like a little runway of hair where it would otherwise never totally shave smooth). I do trim that hair, but haven’t ever liked shaving it completely off. I hadn’t seen the personal shaver before, but if you don’t have luck with your razor it might be worth a try. I do just fine using my regular razor, and as long as I keep up on it every few days it works great. We have a small ledge in our shower that I can put my foot up on and that helps a ton with being able to see what I’m shaving, and push things around to get to the right spot.

You know, I used to think a vibrator or sex toys were “wrong”, but I think it’s where your heart is. A vibrator has completely changed our sex life, and it enhances our intimacy. My focus, even when using a vibrator, is on EF — my love for him, how he is making me feel. An orgasm is an incredibly powerful thing, and I’m so thankful there is a way I can experience that during sex. It makes me want my husband, not a vibrator!

Wife “LL” asks Sexy Corte about being dominant in bed:

My husband and I have been married 6 years and have a good relationship in general but our sex life is lacking at times, especially since he really enjoys me being dominant over him and using bondage and I struggle with being dominant and can’t really come up with anything creative to do so I just end up playing out basically the same scene over and over. I want to do better so he and I can both enjoy sex more. Any advice? Thanks for all you and your husband do. I really appreciate your website and all the articles you have to encourage Christian couples in their sex lives. This world needs it.

To which SC replies:

It’s great that you are willing to try this for your husband! Maybe start small and try to be dominant in other ways so that you build up some confidence for the bigger stuff. Grab him in a tight embrace and kiss him in an unexpected moment. Write a note telling him what you are going to do to him later (it doesn’t even have to be something bondage-related). Taking initiative in smaller things might help you when you are in those bigger moments. EF always likes the professor/student and pirate role-playing.

Husband “JY” asks how to help his wife enjoy sex more:

My wife and I have been married for almost two years. Before we were married I was not deep in my faith, I watched porn, and had sex. My wife knew this, and helped me become a better man. When we started to date I stopped watching porn, and we didn’t have sex until our wedding night. We did however dry hump and both of us would climax at relatively the same time. Since our marriage, I can tell that my wife doesn’t really enjoy/ get pleasure from sex. I’ve tried to talk with her, and she tells me that her pleasure is doing it for me. But I want her to enjoy it. When I bring up things like giving her oral or me receiving it she says that those things make her feel gross. We’ve talked and I have expressed my interest in expanding our sex life, but she doesn’t seem interested. I honestly just want her to enjoy sex the way that I do. She hasn’t had an orgasm for over two years, because I don’t believe she is stimulated during sex, and won’t let me try things that could stimulate her. I’m not really sure what else to do. I love my wife very much, and I know that god made sex something for husband and wife to enjoy, and I’m afraid she is missing out on such a pleasurable feeling and intimacy. Any ideas or thoughts from either of you would be very much appreciated.

SC replies:

If you and your wife have good communication, I would in a very non-threatening way ask her if she has ever had an orgasm. It’s possible she hasn’t. Ask if she would be willing to let you focus on her. There are a number of things you can try, but focus on her clitoris, not just penetration. It takes me a good 20 minutes of clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, and that’s with EF starting with his hand and finishing with a vibrator. If EF uses his hand it’s probably more like 45 minutes. Use lube as well.  I would also try to pay attention to her cycle. Two weeks after the start of a woman’s period is when they typically ovulate, and that’s when sex drive is the highest. For me, it’s much easier to have an orgasm during this part of my cycle.

Wife “SL” asks how to learn what turns her on:

Hello! My husband and I have been enjoying your blog since we got married in May 2015. Our sex life isn’t awful (thanks to God blessing us with good communication), but it definitely isn’t what we know it can be. This is largely due to the fact that my husband has a large vocabulary of sexual things he likes and really knows what turns him on and I don’t. We have tried to explore lots of things and your blog has been very helpful, but I still struggle with knowing my likes and turn-ons. I think not comparing my sex drive/desires to my husband and expecting myself to be just like him is my biggest hangup. Any suggestions of how to explore and figure out what my turn-ons are? Questions I should ask myself? Books that might be helpful?

SC replies:

I think it’s ok if you don’t have a “large vocabulary”! I don’t think I will ever get tired of the standard, me-on-top to orgasm. We do that position at least twice a week and it still thrills me. So finding something that works really well and sticking with it is definitely fine. I’m hoping you know what gets you to orgasm best — and if you don’t, that is a matter of trying different things until you find something that works. For us, we were at least a year into marriage before we figured out what really worked for me. I also think throwing in the occasional new thing keeps your sex life exciting, and it sounds like your husband needs that. Since you are already good with communication (that is a great blessing!) talk about your expectations and what each of you can do to make sure you both have a fulfilling sex life.

You may also want to check out the “Would you rather?” game that we’ve posted, and make some index cards based on that list. It will help you and your husband discover new things.

That’s all the letters for now! We pray that God will bless your marriage, and use your marriage to be a blessing to others. Thanks for a fantastic 2017, and join us in the comment section below.

 

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Sex Q&A: Role-Playing, Shaving, Talking Dirty, and More 5

Reader “LM” sent us a long email with several questions, so let’s address each in turn.

I’m writing as a BIG fan of your blog. My fiancée (girlfriend at the time) and I started reading your blog last summer, as a way to facilitate healthy conversations about sex. It has been so helpful to have conversation starters from a Christian perspective, and it has helped us have open and honest conversations about expectations for sex inside marriage. We recently got engaged, and are getting married in March. As the big day gets closer, we decided to put together a list of some questions we had, in the hopes that you could provide some insight.

Congratulations on your engagement! It means so much to us to receive emails like this. We write this blog to edify Christian marriages, and we’re very encouraged when we hit our target. (It’s worth linking to an earlier post for newlyweds: Sex Q&A: About to Be Married, First-Time Sex.)

Before we get to LM’s specific questions, I should say that it’s not our place to give or withhold permission for what you do in your marriage — that’s between you, your spouse, and God. Read Can we *BLANK*? for more info, and check out 1 Corinthians 8. Follow the leading of the Holy Spirit with discernment and humility.

Here are the questions.

1) We’re both very excited about role play, however, we had a question. In almost all role playing scenarios (teacher-schoolgirl, KGB agent-American spy, etc), the characters are not married. In this case, are you acting out a scenario (sex between unmarried people) that is not honoring to God? OR is it ok because the people actually having sex (me and my soon to be wife) ARE married?

2) Speaking of role play, have you guys ever played out a scenario which has caused you to lust after an actor / actress? My fiancée is a huge Lord of the Rings / Harry Potter fan, and would love to role play some of those characters. My worry is that that might cause one or both of us to think about the actors or actresses we’re role playing during sex instead of each other.

These two questions are great examples of the need for discernment and wisdom. Strictly speaking, you aren’t sinning if your sexual thoughts are aimed exclusively at your spouse. However, if this kind of role-play causes your sexual focus to wander away from your spouse, then it might be sin for you and you should avoid it. You need to be honest with each other, with yourselves, and with God. Flee from sexual immorality and do whatever most strengthens your marriage and your walk with God.

Sexy Corte and I don’t role-play as characters from pop culture — we make up our own characters, and have quite a collection. Characters from books and movies aren’t real people, so lusting after your-wife-as-Hermione doesn’t seem problematic to me.

Also, make sure you check out Tie, Tease, Trivia: Harry Potter Edition.

3) Have you guys ever had sex to music, and found yourself lusting after the artist singing the song? There is some really sexy music out there, but I’m worried that I might end up thinking about the singer during sex, if it’s someone I find attractive.

We occasionally play music during sex, and lusting after the artist had never occurred to us. If music is a stumbling block for you then don’t use it, or listen to music performed by ugly artists!

4) We’ve seen your recommendations to shave prior to the wedding night, but we’re worried that after one or two days of smooth, things may get prickly and uncomfortable. Is there a way to avoid this?

We’ve written about shaving for husbands and wives, and we both really enjoy the sensations of having smooth skin. Of course, shaved hair grows back! We typically shave every few days in the shower, and it only takes a couple of minutes once you’re proficient. If you don’t want to maintain it so frequently you can try waxing, but the hair will still grow back (and waxing costs a lot more money than shaving). You can also try laser hair removal, which costs even more money but can eliminate the hairs (almost) permanently. It’s really a matter of preference.

5) What do couples usually do when the woman is a virgin and there’s the potential that she’ll bleed in the hotel room? Do you just leave it and let the maid change the sheets the next day? Do you bring your own sheets?

Put down a towel and/or leave a nice tip. Honeymoon nights aren’t unique in dirtying hotel sheets, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Do yourself a favor and don’t inspect your hotel room with a UV light.

6) One of the things we’ve talked about is the idea of dirty talk, particularly if it involves cussing. We think it could be hot, but we wanted to hear your thoughts.

Sexy time is pretty much the only time we swear, and yes, it can be hot. There’s nothing sinful about any particular words — it’s all about how you use them. If the words edify your marriage, then great! If they insult or discomfort your spouse, then don’t use them.

Got some thoughts to share? Please leave a comment!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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Best Christian Sex Links of the Week -- Christmas Edition 6

Merry Christmas everyone! It’s been a while since we rounded up our favorite Christian sex links, so here’s a big list to finish off 2016!

Wives, God created sex for YOU — working to grow your own enjoyment of sex is a huge gift to your husband and yourself.

Don’t let the holidays ruin your sex life! Squeeze in sex during the holidays!

So many posts with gift ideas:

Lots of options for grooming your public hair — we wrote about husbands shaving their public hair and answered a question from a reader about how to ask his wife to shave “down there”.

Duty sex as a stepping stone to great sex — we’ve written against “duty sex”, but viewing it as a step towards something better is a very useful perspective.

Can Christians get sex tips from Cosmo? — I guess you could, but honestly, there’s better stuff on our blog and those we link to! For free.

Fellatio alarm clock — with a strong mint?? That’ll wake him up quick.

Kegel exercises help turn her on and intensify her orgasm — also, squeeze your butt during sex!

Sex positions made easier by the Liberator Wedge — we’ve got these wedge pillows, and they’re great fun.

A husband wants his wife to love his penis — this reminds me: I need to write a post on this topic.

Save time and water by showering together — also sex in the shower and tips for having sex in the water.

Tips for reaching orgasm together — we could do this easily enough every time, but I like to hold back. I find that I enjoy Sexy Corte’s orgasm more when I’m not distracted by my own.

A bunch more sex links from November!

Merry Christmas! If you’ve got a link you want to share, please put it in the comments!

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"Most Women Prefer to Go Bare, Citing Hygiene" 7

We’ve written about shaving for husbands and wives before, and the practice is increasingly seen as “the new normal”, especially for women. However, despite what most women seem to think, the benefits are primarily sexual, not hygienic.

A new study published in the journal JAMA Dermatology on Wednesday confirmed just how widespread the practice is. Sixty-two percent of a nationally representative sample of 3,316 women said they opted for complete removal of their pubic hair; 84 percent reported some grooming.

But while previous research showed that women groom to facilitate sexual activity, this survey found the overwhelming majority said they did so for hygiene.

That perception troubled researchers. “Many women think they are dirty and unclean if they haven’t groomed,” said Dr. Tami S. Rowen, an obstetrician-gynecologist and the lead author of the study.

Of course, what a person means by hygiene may not line up with the medical definition. Hair “down there” really gets in the way of oral sex — it’s distracting, especially when it tickles your nose or gets stuck in your teeth.

Your mileage may vary, but we enjoy the intense, sensual smoothness of bare skin.

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Sex Q&A: How Do I Get My Wife to Shave "Down There"? 8

This comes from reader “PL”:

Any suggestions on how to get my wife to shave “down there”? She tried once when we were first married, but she said it itched SO bad that she’d never do it again.

I LOVE giving her oral…but sometimes the jungle is unbearable.

I recently read that introducing new activities to your spouse is like “breaking in a horse”. The concept is that you try something a little bit at a time until it becomes comfortable. Then you go a bit further. Is that how to approach this, or…?

Her other two comments/objections about shaving are: 1) she would look like an adolescent (which I never thought about until she mentioned it, and that’s something I wish I could erase), or 2) that I must have seen the idea somewhere (porn or whatever). So I was quite disheartened because all I wanted was a nicer landscape to traverse… not anything weird.

Any help/suggestions/insight would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks for the email! You know, I understand because I also don’t like to shave all the way. However, I have found that if I remove everything except a “landing strip” it is a lot more comfortable. This is also called a “French” style, and it leaves a strip of hair visible in front. Hair is removed from the areas you need to clean, but left on the area where I find shaving to be most bothersome and itchy. It might be a good compromise for her. Like you said, she can remove a little bit of hair at a time based on her comfort level.

You should also definitely explain to her that hair gets in the way with oral — it can be very distracting, especially when it gets stuck in your teeth! I feel the same way when El Fury hasn’t shaved for a while and I’m licking his balls. As an added bonus, El Fury and I have both experienced greater sensitivity after we shave. Your skin feels so clean and smooth, your spouse’s touch or tongue feels amazing!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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"It's easy to talk about anything if you're naked" 9

We love hearing from couples who enjoy reading our blog together! Reader “J” sent in this quick tip that’s simple to apply in any marriage: get wet and naked together!

We have really enjoyed reading your blog. My wife and I were talking about this site and wondering what we did different that we would like to add to the discussion. Here’s one thing we came up with:

For all of our marriage my wife and I have talked best when either in the bath or shower together. It’s easy to talk about anything if you’re naked… On top of that one of the greatest things I have ever learned to do for her is to shave her legs. It takes time and patience and it apparently makes her feel cared for and pampered. I’d highly recommend every guy try that with his wife. Plus you get to play with her legs… What’s not to like about that?

Sounds nice and intimate to me! Here are some tips for having sex in the water. We’d love to hear from you too, so leave a comment or contact us using the links on the left.

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