"8 Reasons to Marry a Fit Person" -- Or Get Fit With Your Spouse 1

Maybe you look like Michelangelo’s David or maybe you “do the best with what you’ve got” — either way, the time and energy you invest into health and fitness can pay off in your marriage. Obviously there’s more to a good marriage than fitness, but fitness is the topic of this post. Consider 1 Corinthians 6:19-20,

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

I (generally) like this list from T-Nation, so let’s consider their “8 Reasons to Marry a Fit Person” from the perspective of married people who want to be the best version of themselves for their spouse.

1 Fit Marriages Are Less Likely To Become Fat Divorces

Google one of those “Top 10 Causes of Divorce” lists. Money and infidelity issues are always at the top but look further down the list. What do you see? Weight gain.

When relationship columnist David Eddie scoured anonymous relationship-help forums, he found something surprising. Most of the people who were unhappy with their rapidly expanding spouses were women. Here’s an example:

“I love my husband, but he’s become a tubby hubby and refuses to do anything about it. Now I’m not attracted to him, and I’m thinking of leaving.”

Ouch. Well, check out “Do You Even Lift?” and “It’s Important To Stay Skinny For My Husband” for some tips. Don’t hold yourself to an unreasonable standard — just put in the work to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

2 Fit Men Make More Money

Women are often criticized for wanting to marry a man who either has money or has the kind of drive that would help him make money in the future. It’s an unfair criticism.

Husbands are usually the primary source of income, especially after kids come along. And since arguments over money (or the lack thereof) are the number two indicator of an impending divorce, not marrying a lazy guy is a perfectly acceptable and smart criterion for husband pickin’.

We hardly ever write about money, but here’s one post that touches on the topic: “Science and the Bible Agree: More Money Won’t Make You Happier”. If you don’t have enough money to meet your family’s basic needs, then money will make you happier. Beyond that, it doesn’t seem like money is nearly as important as we think it is. I don’t think I’d put in effort to get fit just to (possibly) earn more money.

3 Fit People Know How To Stay Fit

Most people gain some weight after marriage, even fit people. That’s not a marriage ender, of course, but when one spouse loses the weight and the other doesn’t, it can lead to problems.

Anyone can learn how to get and stay fit. Being fit is simple, but it’s not easy. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Like point #5 says below, we should be motivating each other to be our best.

4 Sex Is More Frequent and More Satisfying

The good news is that several studies show that fit people have more sex than unfit people. And married people have MORE sex than single people, despite all that right-swiping that singles do.

Fit people usually feel better about themselves and are more likely to get naked. All their parts work better, too. When you exercise regularly, all the healthy hormones (testosterone, dopamine) are ramped up while the trickier hormones (cortisol) are tamped down if you program wisely.

In one study titled “Sexual Desirability and Sexual Performance: Does Exercise and Fitness Really Matter?” the authors concluded:

“Exercise frequency and physical fitness enhance attractiveness and increase energy levels, both of which make people feel better about themselves. Those who exercise are more likely to experience a greater level of satisfaction and a positive perception of self. Moreover, those who feel better about themselves may perceive they are more sexually desirable and may perform better sexually. The majority of individuals who are regularly physically active are healthier, and perhaps healthier individuals may be more willing and able to have sex.”

We’ve written a lot about sexual frequency and sexual quality, and there’s no doubt that exercise is great for sex. Sleep is at least as important as exercise for fitness and sexual satisfaction.

5 A Fit Spouse is the World’s Best Motivator

You’ve heard the saying, “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” Well, your spouse is your number one peer in that group of five. And if they’re serious about staying healthy and strong, that kind of peer pressure, even unspoken, is a very good thing.

A fit spouse keeps you on your toes. You may hit the gym a little more often, choose foods a little more wisely, or just be influenced by your spouse’s healthy behaviors.

Good habits and bad habits are both contagious. Hebrews 10:24 says, “Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works” — and that doesn’t mean to nag or complain! Encourage and build up your spouse, and allow yourself to be encouraged by your spouse in return. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

6 Fit Spouses Live Longer

You’re in this for life, right? ‘Till death do you part? Wanting to grow old together on the porch and all that good stuff?

Well, all that’s kinda wrecked if your spouse gets heart disease in their 50’s or type 2 diabetes, well, any time. Choose a spouse that does their best to make it to that front porch swing with you.

Interestingly, it seems that a wife has a particularly strong influence on her husband’s life expectancy.

7 Fit People Are Usually Happier

Want a happy marriage? Marry a happy person. Sure beats being married to someone who’s perpetually bitter, angry, or sad.

Studies show that fit people are generally happier. Even if they struggle with depression or down times, they have the tools (exercise, good food, and good supplements) to alleviate or minimize it.

Our minds are bodies were created together. Sometimes we Christians have a tendency to view our bodies as evil or corrupted, and our minds as good or spiritual. This is wrong. God created both, and he will redeem both in the resurrection. We feel good when our minds are aligned with God’s will — through prayer, study, and fellowship — and we can find similar satisfaction when we align our bodies. Just like Bible study prepares the mind to serve, physical exercise prepares the body.

8 Shared Passion = Marriage Longevity

Australian researchers wanted to find out the key to long marriages. After studying thousands of happily married geriatrics, they concluded that it all comes down to shared experiences.

Going to the gym, being active outdoors, and preparing healthy meals that you eat together are all shared experiences. And since fresh sweat does have some mild aphrodisiacal properties, the couple who plays together often gets frisky together.

The shared experience of exercise is a huge benefit to me and Sexy Corte. We both love to run, and running together is one of our best times. If you’re struggling to exercise, find an activity that you can do with your spouse and you’ll get a double-benefit from the time invested!

If you want to improve your marriage and your sex life, you should consider improving your fitness together. What’s your experience? Leave us a comment below.

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"Attractive female students no longer earned higher grades when classes moved online during COVID-19" 2

If you’re not an attractive woman then you may have benefited from the pandemic in ways you haven’t realized:

A large body of research suggests that physical appearance has an impact on a person’s success. For example, attractive people tend to earn more money and report higher life satisfaction than less attractive people. Interestingly, scholars have yet to agree on the explanation behind this beauty premium.

One account suggests that the beauty advantage can be explained by discrimination. For example, employers may inherently favor attractive over unattractive workers. Another perspective suggests that beauty is a productivity-enhancing attribute. This view suggests that attractiveness lends itself to higher productivity, for example, through increased self-confidence.

When analyzing the data, Mehic first found evidence of the beauty premium in traditional in-person instruction. For non-quantitative courses (e.g., business, economics) that were taught fully online, student attractiveness was positively correlated with student grades. However, this effect was not found for quantitative courses (e.g., math, physics). This was in line with the researcher’s expectations since non-quantitative classes tend to include assignments and presentations that encourage student-teacher interaction, while quantitative classes are often graded entirely through final exams.

The results next revealed that the switch to online instruction eliminated the beauty premium — but only for female students. For non-quantitative courses, attractive female students saw a decline in their grades with remote instruction, while attractive male students continued to enjoy a beauty advantage.

Fortunately, most of our marriages are in-person! Whether you’re a man or a woman, it’s worthwhile to be the best version of yourself for your spouse — which includes doing your best to stay fit, healthy, and attractive. Don’t aim at an unattainable standard set by the beauty industry, but we should all do the work to make the most of the body God has given us.

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Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 3

Here are some christian sex links that we hope you’ll enjoy this Christmas season!

Adult Advent Calendar — a fun, sexy game that lasts all month! Give experiences instead of possessions.

Clitoral, G-Spot and Deep Spot – 3 Pathways to Pleasure — be sure to also check out All About Female Orgasms (Safe Diagrams)

Want to Give Your Wife Intense Sexual Pleasure? Do THIS. — a good post about fingering. See also: Thumb and Finger Zoom Technique and How to Rub a Clitoris.

9 Tips to Give Your Wife Oral Sex — we write a lot about oral sex for the husband, so here you go!

Sexy Pictures and Video in a Christian Marriage? — or you could Role-Playing: Photographer and Model — I think taking the pictures would be as fun as having the pictures.

Do I Have To? — the flip side of Can we *blank*? “If your husband really wants to do a sexual activity that you dislike, do you have to do it?”

Can a Christian Wife Learn to Be Wild? — see also: Sex Q&A: “Weird” Sex

Let’s Talk Lubenumbing lubes, quickie lube, oil-based lube for sex in the water, pack lube for vacation, lube for outdoor sex, and keep lube in the car. I didn’t realize we’ve written so much about lube!

What music is best for sex? — we listen to music that we don’t let our kids hear. Barely related: Play Music From Your Vagina

Sex on The Weight Bench — we’ve never tried this literally, but see Do You Even Lift?

Revisit your limits — maybe you or your spouse wouldn’t do that ten years ago, but how about now? It’s worth reconsidering your limits periodically.

“Tell her how much you enjoy sex with her rather than just saying the sex was good.” — this is a great tip for husbands and probably deserves its own post. Even though a husband may be “sexually spontaneous”, he should still use words to reaffirm to his wife that his arousal is for her.

Hula-hooping for fitness — now I know what I want for Christmas… I want to watch Sexy Corte hula-hoop… in private.

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Husbands can Learn from What Women Look For in Casual Sex Partners 4

Wives aren’t looking for casual sex partners (hopefully!), but husbands can learn a few things from the preferences of women who are looking for casual sex. Let’s look at the six elements listed in the article, even though we only have limited influence over several of the items.

1. You need to be taller than her.

Sadly, height bias is still very much real: 89. 5 percent of respondents said their short-term partner had to be taller than them, and only 11.9 percent viewed height as unimportant.

There’s not much you can do to make yourself taller! If you’re wearing shoes and your wife is barefoot then you can add an extra inch or so. You can position yourself above your wife in some circumstances, but not always.

2. But you don’t necessarily need to be smarter.

While having similar education levels may be important for women seeking a lifelong mate, only 46.7 percent of American women thought intelligence was an important trait in a casual partner.

Well that’s a relief! Just like height, there isn’t much you can do to make yourself smarter — but you can make yourself more interesting. If you’ve been married for very long at all, you may have noticed that your wife’s panties don’t drop to the floor when you solve an equation or win an argument on the internet. Raw intelligence isn’t as impressive as what you can do with it: write a poem, build a vibrator, use classical conditioning to enhance her orgasms.

3. Hair is great, but only if it’s on your face.

While bearded men are still beloved around the world, most women said they’d prefer a short haircut and a hairless chest for a fling than luscious locks and a virtual forest of upper body hair.

Finally! Something completely under our control. Here are some tips for husbandly grooming, and yes, you should shave your balls. Put in the (minor!) effort required to be clean and fresh.

4. You don’t have to be buff.

Unsurprisingly, about half (51.8 percent) of all women surveyed considered body type to be a very important factor when deciding on a partner for a casual encounter. But if you don’t have a six-pack or bulging biceps, don’t fret. Fit, athletic physiques were found to be the most popular among women (50.3 percent), followed by “average” body types (29.1 percent). Only 7.8 percent said they wanted someone who was very muscular.

Even if being fit and athletic doesn’t come naturally to you — as it doesn’t for me — you can take action to become the best possible you. Lift some weights. Go for a run (together!). Pick her up. You might also benefit from some more fitted clothing than you’re used to.

5. Your ethnicity and religion don’t matter.

Well ok!

6. And don’t forget to smile!

Having an attractive smile was one of the most important factors for women from almost every country in the Clue survey. So, when you’re on your date, remember to show that you’re enjoying yourself by flashing those pearly whites!

Mouthwash, toothbrush, and floss — and use some over-the-counter whitening product. But don’t just smile all the time for no reason, that’s a signal of unease, desperation, and submission for men.

Husband: if you want more casual sex with your wife, make yourself an attractive casual sex partner! (Your wife will thank you.)

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Productive Ways To Spend Your Time During the Coronavirus 5

Schools are shut down, and so are many workplaces. Your family is self-isolating at home for several weeks, and maybe a lot longer. It’s tempting to just “Netflix and chill” for the foreseeable future, but here are some more productive ways to spend your time during the global COVID-19 shutdown.

Have sex with your spouse. Sex has a ton of health benefits!

TV medical expert Dr. Mehmet Oz says that people stuck inside should be having lots of sex to combat the effects of social distancing for the coronavirus.

“The best solution if you’re holed up with your significant other, quarantined, is have sex,” advises the doc in a TMZ video Tuesday. “You’ll live longer, get rid of the tension.”

“Maybe you’ll make some babies,” he adds. “It’s certainly better staring at each other than getting on each other’s nerves.”

Be grateful for your spouse! Single people are having a really tough time dating thanks to coronavirus.

Alexsis Venable, 23, says she’s “a little more hesitant to go out on dates.” The New Jersey resident explains, “I know some people are touchy-feely, so if I was on a date and someone would like to hold hands or touch my face, I would be taken aback.”

Some people are nervous, but find their dates are not. Gen, 22, is “very worried,” adding, “I can’t see myself going home with or even kissing a random guy anytime soon.” (She requested her last name be withheld.) As for her dates? The Los Angeles resident notes, “I think guys are pushing less to meet up in person from apps than they might have once. In person, though, I find that guys don’t really seem to care about the coronavirus over their own desires.”

Maybe that’s part of the reason male life expectancy is a lot shorter than female.

Worship. Read the Bible together as a family. Our kids enjoy reenacting Bible stories as plays for us. Sing songs — our favorite hymnal is Hymns of Grace, and Grace to You offers MP3 files of piano accompaniment for free!

Exercise. Don’t just sit on your butt all day! You can still go outside to walk, run, or ride bikes with your family while social-distancing.

Board games and cooperative/multiplayer video games are great quality time for couples and families! Much more interactive than television.

Virtual sightseeing courtesy of Google. It’s not the same as being there, but here are a few cool resources:

Do you have any other suggestions for productive ways to spend your time during the coronavirus? Share them in the comments.

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Naked Yoga 6

I love it when I can combine an ordinary activity into something sexy! A few months ago I decided to give yoga a try. It’s difficult for me to go to a class, but I was able to find lots of videos online — 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene is my favorite series. One weekend afternoon I wanted to spend time with El Fury, but also wanted to do my yoga video. Hmm, what to do? Bam! Naked yoga.

We have tried two variations on naked yoga. The first time we both got naked and did yoga together in our room, then had sex after. However, doing yoga doesn’t seem to be El Fury’s thing. The second time we tried it, I got naked and did yoga while El Fury played a game on his tablet and casually watched me. We were both aroused and had sex after. There is something very alluring about having your spouse watch you do something so intimate and vulnerable.

I like naked yoga because it feels like a form of play with your spouse. It’s important in a marriage to be able to play with one another. Play is one of the most basic human interactions, and sex can be a form of play too.
What other everyday activities can you add a sexy flavor to? Leave a comment if you have any ideas!

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Husbands, if you want your wife to be more enthusiastic about sex then it’s important to maintain proper hygiene and basic physical fitness, and we’re going to give you some very practical tips in both of these areas.

If this podcast is a blessing to you, please leave us a 5-star review on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Do You Even Lift?: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/information/do-you-even-lift/

Husbandly Hygiene: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/information/husbandly-hygiene/

The 4-Week Beginner’s Guide to Building a Stronger, More Muscular Physique: https://www.muscleandfitness.com/workouts/workout-routines/4-week-beginners-guide-building-stronger-more-muscular-physique

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Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 7

We’ve removed a few links from our sidebar recently because some of the blogs we loved are no longer actively maintained. If you have a blog that you think we and our readers would enjoy, please let us know!

Unlocking her orgasm — lots of great data from a study of Finnish women… who finish. Sorry, couldn’t resist the pun.

Discover the power of words for excitement — “Just like God designed men to get excited by looking at a woman’s body , He designed women to get aroused through words.”

10 Exercise Tips for Busy Moms — these are just as good for fathers! Plus, the key to female sexual arousal is excitement, not relaxation.

If you like our podcast, you may also like these top episodes from Sex Chat for Christian Wives.

Mindfulness and meditation during sex — similarly, we’ve written about how intense focus on your senses makes sex great.

Never miss a chance to learn about the penis — and here are some tips for admiring your husband’s penis.

4 reasons to say yes to sex… even if you’d rather watch TV — you can even do both at the same time.

Personal lubrication 101the best lube is the lube you’ve got with you!

How do you know if your wife is faking orgasm?husbands can fake orgasms too!

10 weird sex problems that no one talks about

Got a link to share? Leave it in the comments!

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For Female Arousal, Excitement Is Better than Relaxation 8

Dr. Cindy M. Meston from the University of Texas at Austin explains that the key to female sexual arousal is excitement, not relaxation.

“For years we were told, ‘Have a bubble bath, calm down, listen to relaxing music, do deep breathing exercises, chill out before sex,'” she says.

“But my research shows the opposite, that you actually want to get women in an active state.

“So, you can run around the block with your partner and get them to chase you around the block, or watch a scary movie together, ride a roller-coaster together, even a good comedy act. If you really get laughing, you’re going to have a sympathetic activation response.”

Meston is talking about the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for subconscious muscle contractions that get us ready for the flight or fight mode, like heart rate and blood pressure. She has found that if this system is activated before sex it will help women respond more intensely and more quickly.

Paul Byerly at The XY Code has a great story about excitement:

I recall a time when Lori thought I had fallen off a cliff (I had not). We went home and had really good sex. Now I know the reason for that was the adrenaline running through her system. Likewise, this is why teenage boys used to like to take a girl to a scary movie; their chances of something sexual in the back seat of the car were much better after such a movie.

We write a lot about games, activities, and novelty on our blog because they create excitement! Wives tend to be sexually responsive and usually don’t even realize when they’re becoming aroused!

Men’s subjective ratings of arousal were in agreement with their body’s level of sexual arousal about 66 percent of the time, while women’s were in line only about 26 percent of the time.

“The general pattern that I have seen in my laboratory is that women experience a genital response but do not report feeling sexually aroused,” Chivers told LiveScience.

Husbands and wives should both ponder that statistic for a while: a woman’s body often gets aroused before her mind does, and she won’t even notice.

Do you want to kick up the intensity of your sex life? Here are a few ideas from previous posts:

How do you get your sympathetic nervous system revved up? Leave a comment and let us know!

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Exercise Boosts Sperm Quality and Semen Quantity 9

If you’re trying to get pregnant or you enjoy the almost-mystical properties of semen then you husbands need to get off the couch and get some exercise! A recent study indicates that moderate intensity continuous training (MICT) has all sorts of benefits for your swimmers:

The results of the study, published in the journal Reproduction, showed that men who exercised had improved sperm at the end of the training, regardless of which group they were in.

But those men who took part in MICT had the best results.

Compared to men who did no exercise, those in the MICT group had 8.3% more semen volume, 12.4% higher sperm motility, 17.1% improved sperm cell shape, 14.1% more concentrated sperm and 21.8% more sperm cells on average.

The researchers found that the benefits for sperm started to tail off within just a week of stopping the exercise programme.

For this study, MICT was basically jogging for 30-40 minutes, four or five times a week. We already have a responsibility to stay healthy and attractive (within the limits of our ability) for our spouse, and improved semen is a big additional benefit.

Another recent study indicates that watching too much television has a big negative effect on sperm.

A new study suggests men who spend too much time binge-watching TV have lower sperm counts compared to men who don’t watch the boob tube, according to researchers at the University of Copenhagen in Denmark.

The study found men who watched five or more hours of TV per day had 29 percent lower sperm concentration, and 34 percent lower sperm counts than men who weren’t binge-watching.

Lying around increases the temperature of the scrotum — which has a negative impact on sperm production, the researchers said.

Also, couch potatoes tend to be overweight or drink excessively, two more factors in lower sperm counts and production, according to the study, published in the November issue of the American Journal of Epidemiology.

Men who played on a computer for the same amount of time didn’t experience a dip in semen levels.

So husbands, get out there and run! If your wife is already pregnant, your semen can cure her morning sickness. Even aside from pregnancy, your semen can improve your wife’s health and mood. If you want your wife to be healthy and happy, you have a husbandly duty to exercise!

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