Mail bag!
Reader and bride-to-be “WO” writes:
Hello, I plan on being married in February and have saved myself for marriage. I have always been really conservative but after reading your site it looks like I have a lot to learn. One of my biggest “mouth openers” was when you talk about oral sex. I didn’t know it was expected for my husband to finish in my mouth and even swallow his semen??? Will I be a good wife if I don’t? Actually I got a bit curious and instead of mentally thinking about watching porn I actually went on an adult site out of curiosity and saw the man finishing in the woman’s mouth! I feel so ashamed but I had never seen that before and was really wanting to learn… now after watching that it actually arouses me to watch that. I never in a million years would have guessed I would be watching porn but now after viewing it it seems I am watching it now daily. Please advise… thanks!
Congrats on your upcoming marriage! It’s great that you’re going into your marriage with a mindset of wanting to learn. In writing this blog, our hope is that God would use us to deepen relationships between spouses. Your desire to learn should be paired with your husband. One of the best parts of marriage is learning and discovering together. I encourage you to set aside watching the porn and focus on having this adventure with your husband. There isn’t necessarily a best way to do oral sex. The best way is whatever creates intimacy and satisfaction in your marriage. We are praying that God will bless you and your sex life in your marriage!
Reader and husband-to-be “WC” writes:
What is the nickname for a woman that enjoys her husband’s penis “for its own sake” — especially STARING at it? I do not like the term “cock worship”, because it implies putting it on the same level with God. But, I want to find a woman that has a good degree of that trait as a turn-on. How can I bring this up with a woman I’m considering marrying, but without going down the “worship” road? (PS: I’m age 66, have been divorced for four years, and I still have the sex drive of a young man.)
I’m not sure of the proper terminology for what you are looking for, but it is good to communicate about sex and your sex drive while you’re dating. If you’re in your 60s and have been married before, it is likely that you will be dating someone that has had sex before and has a good understanding of what she likes sexually. This topic doesn’t seem like first-date material, but when a relationship gets serious it’s not out-of-line to talk about sexual desires together. Above all pray. Be open with God about what you want and ask Him to guide you to the right woman. See also: How to Admire Your Husband’s Penis.
Husband “AM” writes:
Hello, just found your podcast. Currently listening to episode 18, about a wife’s first orgasm. I decided to ask my wife about her orgasms, and how she likes them best. Her response to me was, “why do I need to orgasm? Are you having fun? That’s all that matters to me.” She has ZERO interest in exploring her body, improving our sex life, or even talking about it. I’m at a loss here. We’re in our mid 40s, we’ve been married almost twenty years, and we have a bunch of kids. When I asked her to read your blog, she said she didn’t want to read that “smut”. I’m at a loss here. Any advice?
If your wife has never had an orgasm, it’s possible that if she does that she’ll desire more. Ask her if you can dedicate an evening to her pleasure, where you focus on her. Most women aren’t aware that only 1/3 of us can orgasm from penetrative sex alone. Your wife may require quite a long time of focused stimulation on her clitoris to reach orgasm. Make sure to use plenty of lube, and consider using a vibrator if she’s comfortable with it. If she has never experienced arousal in this way, she might be surprised by how much she likes it! Don’t put too much pressure on her and try to make it fun.
We pray for everyone who writes to us. Have a great week!
Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.