What If Both Spouses Are Responsive Instead of Spontaneous? 1

Many readers have told us that our post about Spontaneous and Responsive Sexuality has been eye-opening, but what if neither you nor your spouse is sexually spontaneous? What if you’re both responsive?

First, let’s remind ourselves of what spontaneous and responsive sexuality are.

Men typically (but not always) exhibit spontaneous desire. This polarity manifests as sexual desire that isn’t triggered by any obvious external factors. “Hey, I want to have sex!” Spontaneous desire motivates the initiation of sexual behavior. Spontaneous desire leads you to ask for a date, lean in for a kiss, test boundaries for touching, escalate a physical encounter, try new things, and risk rejection. These behaviors can be confusing for the recipient, because it may seem like the sexual behavior is coming out of nowhere — which it is. It’s spontaneous.

Women typically (but not always) exhibit responsive desire. This polarity manifests as sexual desire that grows after sexual behavior has started. “Oh, that feels good… I guess I am in the mood!” A person with responsive desire may seem to have a low libido because she doesn’t often initiate sex, and it can take some effort on her part to “get into the mood”. What’s especially interesting is that women often don’t even know when they’re aroused at first.

Women’s bodies often get aroused before their minds do. Crazy, huh? With responsive desire, sexual arousal will follow physical or mental sexual stimulation, and that stimulation usually comes from a husband who is trying to initiate sex.

There’s more at the link, so go read the whole post and then come back here.

Ok, ready to continue?

Remember than just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s “good”, and uncommon things aren’t necessarily “bad”. Most husbands are sexually spontaneous, and most wives are sexually responsive, but sometimes the situation is reversed (which is fine) and sometimes both spouses are spontaneous (which is probably amazing). And sometimes both spouses are sexually responsive — which can mean that sex rarely happens because no one initiates it, leaving both spouses frustrated.

Sexually responsive people get aroused during sex play, but if the sex play never starts then they won’t have anything to respond to. So the challenge for a couple who are both responsive is to get the party started. Neither spouse may feel “in the mood” at first, but once they get going they’ll both think, “Oh, that feels good… I guess I am in the mood!”

Now what we’ve described the situation, here are a few ideas for how a responsive couple can kick things off:

  • Be open to sex. Openness is critical for sexually responsive people, and doubly so when both spouses are responsive. Be open to sex even when you aren’t in the mood yet. Give yourself a chance to warm up. Let your body get aroused and your mind will follow. Similarly, be willing to work on your spouse’s body even when neither of you is aroused yet. It may feel awkward or silly to touch each other sexually when you aren’t aroused, but get used to it and be open to working towards arousal.
  • Put sex on the schedule. Scheduling sex gets a bad rap sometimes, but when you’re busy and sexually responsive it’s likely that sex won’t push its way into your lives on its own. Days and weeks can go by until you realize that you haven’t had sex in a while and your relationship is suffering because of it. You have to intentionally make time and energy for sex.
  • Create the Habit of Daily Sex. Even better than merely scheduling sex, create the expectation in your marriage that you’ll have sex every day. Instead of assuming that you won’t have sex unless you talk about having it, assume that you will have sex unless you talk about not having it. Try having sex every day for a month and you’ll be shocked at what a difference it makes in your marriage.
  • Use sex games to stimulate your minds. Arousal doesn’t have to start with physical touch! Pick a sex game to play and it will help arouse your mind and body. A structured game or activity can reduce the uncertainty or awkwardness of sexual engagement before arousal begins. Let the game itself “initiate” the sexual encounter, while you both respond to it.
  • Foreplay all day random generator. Similarly to sex games, let the foreplay-all-day generator tell you what to do. Sexually responsive people will respond to external sexual stimuli no matter the source, so intentionally introduce stimulation for you both to respond to. If you want to make it super-structured, set an alarm for every hour, reload the generator, and text your spouse whatever pops up. (Ahem.)

Do you have any other tips to share for stimulating sex when both spouses are responsive? Leave a comment and let us know!

Sex Q&A: Sex Is Good, But "The Furthest Thing From My Mind" 2

Wife “HD” says that despite enjoying sex with her husband, sex is often the furthest thing from her mind.

I have a bit of a problem. Growing up, sex was something that I thought/felt was wrong. I didn’t date much mostly because I was afraid of the relationship getting too close to sex. When I started dating my now-husband I was smitten! I wished so badly that we were married all the time so we could be intimate. Now that we are it seems like sex is the furthest thing from my mind. He tells me every so often that he isn’t getting enough. My immediate response is guilt and shame and that motivates me to have sex because I want to make my husband happy and because I don’t want to feel guilty. Once those feelings of guilt and shame have subsided, I fall back into my old way of not thinking much about sex or doing much about it.

I know that this is toxic to our marriage but I honestly don’t know how to change. It’s not that I can’t do it, or don’t have the resources to come up with ideas, it seems like an issue with my heart and also probably my way of thinking. I want to have sex with my husband because I love him and I want our relationship to grow, not out of guilt and shame. Do you have any advice you could offer?

HD and I exchanged a few emails. Her situation isn’t uncommon, and I have a set of questions for wives who are feeling this way. I wrote back:

Thanks for your email! It can be hard to go from growing up and having the perception that sex is wrong to then be expected to flip a switch when you get married and love sex. Sex, with how natural it is, takes some learning to enjoy. Sex is a gift from God, and having the right attitude towards it allows you to enjoy that gift to the fullest. I have a few questions that will help me answer your question. :)

Do you orgasm when you have sex with your husband? This can be a tricky thing to figure out! It seems that many people don’t know that most women need some help to be able to orgasm during sex.

Do you take time together to explore what your body enjoys?

Are you comfortable with giving feedback? When he is doing something you like, make sure to reinforce that, but you also need to tell him when it is not enjoyable so that he can learn your body.

Do you pray for your sex life? Pray that it would honor God, that you would enjoy it, that your heart would change towards it. Let me know about those questions and hopefully I can give you some guidance.

HD replied:

I actually do orgasm. Pretty much every time we have sex, even a few times.

I feel like my husband is great at doing what feels good and I try to tell him when I like something and when I don’t. I think that we do well at exploring and giving feedback.

However, sex is just the furthest thing from my mind most of the time. Many times it still feels like I am doing something wrong or that I should not be thinking about sex. And sometimes It feels even like an inconvenience, which I feel really awful about. If I want to pursue him, which he loves, it takes a lot more effort for me and I don’t get as excited about it because the “perfect moment” that I plan usually gets foiled by something else and that feels discouraging.

I have been trying to pray about it a lot more and I even started a devotional/ Bible study on the topic. Some days it goes great but other days it feels a lot harder. I still feel like I am not hitting the mark.

I hope that makes sense! 

My final response was:

Thanks HD, that’s helpful! I have a few thoughts, hopefully they can help. I think it could help to develop some new patterns of thinking in regards to sex. The Bible speaks a lot about sex, and when it talks about sex within the bounds of marriage, it is a gift, and something God created for humans to enjoy. Dig into scripture – Song of Solomon, Proverbs 5:15-19, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. Pray and meditate over the Song of Solomon, some of the imagery in there can make me blush! The point, God created sex for you to enjoy within marriage. Make a list of the positive aspects of your sex life, and make it a point to reflect on those. The more that you create positive pathways of thinking, the easier it will be for your mind to travel along those paths.

You also mentioned creating the ‘perfect moment’. It’s easy to set up high expectations that deflate our enthusiasm when they are not met. When you allow some space that things will happen in an unpredictable way, it will ease the burden and allow you to enjoy the moment more. Life is made up of a multitude of little moments, and the more you focus on the quality of those little moments, the less weight the big moments carry. And where do you live the vast majority of your life? It’s in the small stuff. So don’t shy away from planning stuff with your husband, plan it and let it unfold in its own way.

Don’t feel discouraged when you don’t feel like having sex. Our bodies and desires ebb and flow with our cycles, so just because you don’t hit the mark one day doesn’t mean you can’t try again tomorrow. It sounds like you are making your sex life a priority, and hopefully you will start to hit the mark more and more. Remember that sex is a lifelong part of marriage, and you can choose to make it great rather than see it as a duty. Our perceptions shape our experience, and it takes a lot of work to make sure our perceptions are on the right aim, but it is worth tending.

I hope this helps. I prayed for you now! It sounds like you are already on the right path, and you care, so that alone will help things to improve.

God bless!

We try to always pray for our readers immediately when we receive emails, so we don’t forget later. Our advice may or may not be helpful, but there’s no doubt that God hears and answers prayer!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

But Marriage? Doc Says: “The lowest risk sexual activity during COVID-19 involves yourself alone” 3

It appears that Canadian doctors haven’t learned about marriage yet, and I think they’re really missing out.

[Canada’s chief medical officer] Dr Theresa Tam said in a statement there is little chance of catching COVID-19 from semen or vaginal fluid, but sexual activity with new partners does increase the risk of contracting the virus, particularly if there is close contact like kissing.

“Like other activities during COVID-19 that involve physical closeness, there are some things you can do to minimize the risk of getting infected and spreading the virus,” she said.

Skip kissing, avoid face-to-face closeness, wear a mask that covers your mouth and nose, and monitor yourself and your partner for symptoms ahead of any sexual activity, Tam said.

“The lowest risk sexual activity during COVID-19 involves yourself alone,” she added.

If only there were some way to address the “with new partners” part of the problem instead of avoiding kissing and face-to-face closeness. Hmmmm. This seems like something that should have been solved thousands of years ago.

All joking aside, marriage and family sure have been a huge blessing during this pandemic. God knows what he’s doing.

Ten Types of Female Orgasms??? 4

The female body is pretty amazing, but can women really have ten kinds of orgasms? Sexy Corte and I will tackle this topic together.

(Note: This post will refer to the diagrams in our earlier post, All About Female Orgasms (Safe Diagrams) which covers some of the orgasm types described below.)

1. Clitoral orgasms.

El Fury: Obviously yes, despite the fact that some men don’t seem to know how to rub a clitoris. (diagram)

Sexy Corte: I’m amazed at how tiny a clitoris is, and how it can make me feel such big things. Clitoral stimulation is how I orgasm. That’s it. Other techniques listed below can heighten that experience, but without focused stimulation on my clitoris, it doesn’t go anywhere. It can take 20-30 minutes of focus to get to orgasm, and sometimes even longer. Husbands, my best advice to make your wife love sex is to learn to navigate her clitoris. Use your hand or a vibrator, you will know when you are on the right track. Human females are the only females that can orgasm. What a gift from God!

2. Vaginal orgasms.

For many of us, this type of orgasm remains elusive. That’s because most women (50-75 percent) can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone.

… another researcher found that part of the vagina (where the G-spot zone is located) is inextricably linked with the internal parts of the clitoris. Thus, “vaginal” orgasms could actually be clitoral orgasms by another name.

El Fury: This is the idealized kind of orgasm that you see depicted in movie love scenes. They’re real, and some women can have them easily, but most women benefit from clitoral stimulation.

Sexy Corte: I am one of the majority that cannot orgasm this way. However, my favorite way to orgasm is with vaginal sex combined with EF using a vibrator on my clitoris. Never gets old.

3. G-spot orgasms.

The G-spot is an orgasmic erogenous zone on the front wall of the vagina and is made up of the urethral sponge and Female Erectile Network. It swells upon arousal, and G-spot orgasms are said to be more intense, longer-lasting, and more full-bodied than clitoral orgasms.

Hitting the G-spot can also result in female ejaculation or “squirting.”

El Fury: The G-spot combined with internal parts of the clitoris probably lead to what people call “vaginal orgasms”, discussed above. Curling two fingers in a “come here” motion inside the vagina is the easiest way to manually stimulate the G-spot (diagram).

Sexy Corte: When EF has tried to stimulate this area it hasn’t done much for me, but I’m open to keep trying.

4. Cervical orgasms.

Many women don’t even know this type of orgasm is possible. The cervix itself, lies at the very back of the vagina, past the G-spot. It’s the entrance to a woman’s uterus and protrudes into the vagina like a rounded button resembling the head of a penis.

Cervical orgasms have been described as deeper, full-bodied, expanded orgasms, like an ecstatic tingling experience or “a shower of stars.”

While clitoral orgasms have a quick peak and release, G-spot and cervical orgasm come in waves of bliss, with a pleasurable sensation that can last for hours. Some women say that cervical orgasms are almost “spiritual” in nature.

El Fury: The whole area around the cervix seems to be sensitive to stimulation. In addition to the cervix itself, the anterior fornix (diagram) and posterior fornix (diagram) can be stimulated for orgasms.

Sexy Corte: Hmm, this sounds like a necessary experience. Let’s try to achieve this soon!

5. U-spot orgasms.

This tiny orgasmic spot is just above your urethral opening but is often neglected, poor thing. The U-spot is a highly sensitive erogenous zone that can create strong orgasms and also takes part in female ejaculation.

It is located in the vulva, just above the vagina and below the clitoris, surrounding the urethra opening (above and to either side) like an upside-down “U.” It is a highly-sensitive bundle of nerves, as well as erectile tissue that can feel extremely erotic when stimulated.

El Fury: This seems likely to be another extension of the clitoris.

Sexy Corte: This whole area is sensitive, and stimulation here is required for me to orgasm. Keeping stimulation focused here during sex makes the experience amazing.

6. Anal orgasms.

This type of orgasm is on people’s bucket list more and more. Why? The anus opening and anal canal are distinct erogenous zones on their own, rich in nerve endings and super-sensitive to stimulation and penetration.

The “rosebud,” or anal opening enjoys soft sensual massage with lots of lubricant. The anus itself should be penetrated very slowly, based on the receiver’s preference.

Stimulation of the anus, perineum, and rectum can engage the pelvic and pudendal nerves, which are implicated in the orgasmic response.

El Fury: Well, we’re working on this intermittently. Anal stimulation seems to be most pleasurable when combined with clitoral stimulation.

Sexy Corte: It is arousing when EF plays around in that area. Actual penetration is currently more distracting than arousing. If he is playing around there it can make my orgasm more intense.

7. Throat-gasms.

This type of orgasm is a bit strange, I’ll admit. But reportedly, women can experience an oral or throat orgasm during oral sex on a penis, particularly when they are deep-throating while giving a blow job (a dildo also works).

The throat is connected to the vagus nerve, cervix, and uterus, according to orgasm researchers Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk, which can trigger orgasms.

That’s why moaning and making lots of sounds during sex or solo pleasure is a good thing. It increases your orgasmic potential and helps to move the orgasmic energy throughout the body.

Full-body orgasms? Yes, please!

And, get this: The mouth and throat are highly-sensitive erogenous zones that contain more nerve endings than the vagina.

El Fury: I’ve written several times about how awesome it is for Sexy Corte to have an orgasm while performing oral sex on me. It’s one of my favorite things in the world. I suppose the world would be a better place if semen tasted like chocolate and women could have orgasms from deep-throating, but this seems incredibly far-fetched to me.

On the other hand, I completely agree that audible sexual responsiveness really improves sex. Talking, moaning, yelling, and crying out during sex will definitely intensify the experience.

Sexy Corte: I do orgasm while giving EF oral, but that is the direct cause of him stimulating my clitoris at the same time. I definitely agree that a good moan gets me going. I respond in an auditory way, which is helpful for EF to know if he is on the right track. If all of the kids are out of the house it’s really fun to let loose!

8. Nipplegasms.

This type of orgasm is luscious and sensual. A nipplegasm is an orgasm that results from nipple stimulation. Approximately 29 percent of women have said they experience these types of orgasms.

Studies done with brain imaging (fMRI) machines now prove that the same part of the brain, known as the “genital sensory cortex,” lights up when the nipples are stimulated, the exact same area that lights up when the clitoris and vagina are stimulated.

So, the nipples and breasts like the genitals can be highly orgasmic.

Sucking on the nipples releases the “love hormone” oxytocin, which is responsible for producing contractions in the uterus, and can produce orgasms. It is also the feel-good-after-sex hormone that makes you all dreamy and lovey-dovey.

El Fury: Breasts and nipples are great, and stimulating them can certainly lead to arousal. But orgasm?

Sexy Corte: My nipple sensitivity emerged after breast-feeding our first child. That event awakened something and made me feel arousal when EF would touch my breasts. It heightens arousal but I have never had an orgasm from nipple play.

9. Body-gasms.

These types of orgasm can seem mythical, until you actually experience them.

Expanded or full-body orgasms are those that are not localized to just the genital region, but can spread all over the body. This can happen when multiple erogenous zones are stimulated simultaneously, such as a combination orgasm with the clitoris and G-spot.

These type of orgasms can lead to multiple orgasms, and “super orgasms” (continuous or long-lasting orgasms). Energy orgasms can also spread through the entire body, as well.

El Fury: I love giving Sexy Corte powerful orgasms and multiple orgasms, and those two things often go together. Even though they take work on both our parts to accomplish, they’re well worth it.

Sexy Corte: I have never experienced this, but I have had orgasms that I have felt in other areas of my body. For example, I’ve had an orgasm that produced such a strong emotion that I cried. Orgasms do impact my body in a way that I shake after for a while. They feel super, but I’m not sure I’ve experienced the super orgasm.

10. Mindgasms.

This type of orgasm seems a bit “out there,” as in out-of-body experience. Mindgasms, also called breath and energy orgasms, are a type of full-body orgasm that may begin in the genitals, but then the raw sexual energy is channeled up the chakras and throughout the body.

Both men and women can experience full-body, breath, and energy orgasms, and it requires no direct stimulation of the genitals. Yes, that means hands-free. It can be a sexual experience, a very spiritual and enlightening experience, or both.

This type of amazing orgasm has been described as feeling like waves of ecstatic, electric energy coursing through your entire body and making you tingle all over. They can last much longer than ordinary orgasms, even hours, with the after-glow effects lasting even days.

El Fury: I’ve heard of this, but never experienced it. Our bodies can do strange and incredible things, and using breathing techniques to induce altered mental states via hypoxia is an age-old practice. But hands-free, no-touch orgasms? I’m guess skeptical.

Sexy Corte: I think this would be really fun to try, although I am skeptical we could achieve orgasm this way. It sounds sexy to sit with your spouse, not touch each other, but guide each other to arousal only through communication without touch. Then move on to touching!

We’d be really curious to hear from our female readers: how many of these orgasms have you had? What’s next on your bucket list? Leave a comment below!

Men Can Smell When a Woman Is Aroused or Ovulating 5

We’re a little busy with virtual school right now, but here are a couple of links that connect male attraction and female scent.

Men can smell when a woman is sexually aroused.

Findings were established through three different experiments where men processed the scents of axillary sweat samples from anonymous sexually aroused and non-aroused women. Men evaluated the scent of sexually aroused women as relatively more attractive and this increased their sexual motivation. This suggests that the chemical signals of scent alone can elicit a sexual response in recipients.

Men can smell when a woman is ovulating.

We asked women who had regular menstrual cycles and who were not using hormonal contraceptives to wear a T-shirt for three consecutive nights during their late follicular (ovulatory) phase and another T-shirt during the luteal (non-ovulatory) phase of their menstrual cycle. Male raters judged the odours of T-shirts worn during the follicular phase as more pleasant and sexy than odours from T-shirts worn during the luteal phase. The odour differences between the follicular and luteal phases did not dissipate quickly over time as male raters were able to detect and judge follicular phase body odours as more pleasant and sexy than the odours from the luteal phase even after the T-shirts were kept at room temperature for one week. These findings suggest that ovulation may not be concealed and that men could use ovulation-linked odours in their mate selection.

So here’s a fun experiment for you wives to try: next time you’re ovulating, get aroused and see if your husband notices from your scent!

Sexual Stimulation Promotes Openness and Agreeableness 6

Research confirms that people will say just about anything to get laid and the linked article frames this phenomenon as a form of deception, but I think it’s more useful to view it as enhanced agreeableness and openness.

The first experiment asked pairings of men and women to debate a fictitious situation face-to-face, with each participant being assigned a specific stance to take. The results revealed that students who were exposed to sexual stimuli beforehand were much more likely to openly express agreement with the member of the opposite sex they were supposed to be debating with compared to the control group that did not view any sexual stimuli before interacting.

The second experiment set out to determine if participants would flat out contradict a stance or opinion they had literally written out all to appease a sexually attractive individual’s ideals. First, each student was asked to fill out a questionnaire regarding some of their dating preferences, for example, “To what extent does it bother you to date someone who is messy?”

Then, they were exposed to either a subliminal sexual picture or a neutral image. Next, each participant was told they would be engaging in an online chat with an attractive individual, and were given a profile of their chat partner that included some of their supposed opinions and preferences. Sure enough, participants who had been exposed to a momentary sexual image were much more likely to conform their tastes to that of the individual they were about to chat with, and in many scenarios those tastes directly contradicted what they had originally recorded in the initial questionnaire.

Were the students “lying” when they openly expressed agreement or conformed their tastes? I doubt their initial self-reported preferences were so strongly held that merely being socially agreeable should count as “lying”. In fact, what seems to be happening is that the students are making a completely reasonable effort to get along with their partner, catalyzed by the sexual stimuli.

So then, what can we married couples learn from this experiment on students? How about this: if you want to experience more agreeableness and openness in your marriage, then promote sexual stimulation in your relationship. Initiate and respond to sexual talk, touch, jokes, teasing, games, planning, and anticipation. View yourself and your spouse as “potential sexual partners” to be impressed, rather than roommates!

Sex Under the Stars 7

Sexy Corte and I just had an awesome experience: sex outside at night under the Perseid Meteor Shower. We were watching the meteors with the kids for a while, but eventually they went inside for bed and we were left alone on a blanket under the stars. We had two firsts: first time to be completely naked outside, and first time for Sexy Corte to have an orgasm outside! It was amazing. What will always stick with me is the image of my lovely wife on top of me, silhouetted against the starry sky, with meteors flashing around her naked body as she climaxed.

Sperm Swim in Spirals 8

Here’s a fun tongue-twister of story for Friday morning: scientists just discovered that human sperm swim with a spiral motion, not by swishing side-to-side.

Using state-of-the-art 3D microscopy, a piezoelectric device, and mathematics, researchers in Mexico discovered how sperm really move: They spin, with a wonky asymmetrical wiggle. The researchers reported their discovery today in the journal Science Advances.

“It’s 2020 and we all thought we knew how sperm actually swim, and we couldn’t have been more wrong,” says Hermes Gadêlha, a senior lecturer in the Department of Engineering Mathematics at the University of Bristol. Gadêlha collaborated on the project with colleagues at the Image and Computer Vision Laboratory at the National Autonomous University of Mexico.

Sperm Swim in Spirals 9

I have no idea how this new knowledge can benefit your marriage, but you might have fun with your spouse trying to say “sperm swim in spirals” five times fast.

How To Make Semen Taste Better 10

I think we’d all prefer to live in a world where semen tasted like chocolate. Such a world would have no war and no crime… but then again, it might not have civilization either. In our fallen world, for better or worse, the taste of semen generally ranges from neutral to yuck, which can be a major turn-off and a significant reason for a wife to be reluctant to perform oral sex.

In our recent post titled “Level-Up Your Sex Life” we talked about giving the wife as many orgasms as she wants, and we also shared some encouragement from both husbands and wives to include more oral sex in your marriage. Along with that encouragement we think it’s important to give some practical tips that will help oral sex to be more enjoyable for the wife to perform. Here are a few posts on that topic that you may have missed:

You may think that we write a lot about oral sex, but this blog has over 400 posts! Those ten links constitute around 2% of our total posts… and husbands who crave the intimacy of oral sex make up a good 25% of the email we receive.

Ok, so to the topic of this particular post: how can you make semen taste better? You may be surprised to learn that there are actually a number of proven things you can do to improve the taste of your semen (or your husband’s). First, let’s look at some things that are likely to make your semen taste bad.

  • Dehydration.
  • Smoking, drugs, and alcohol.
  • Caffeine.
  • Red meat.
  • Dairy.
  • Processed foods, including fast food.
  • High-sulfur vegetables from the cabbage family, like asparagus, broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower.
  • High-sulfur spices like garlic and onions.
  • Basically, if it’s bad for your breath it’s bad for your semen.

Next, here’s a list of things that are likely to make your semen taste better — but still not like chocolate, alas.

  • Water. Drinking more water will lead to higher semen volume, which will dilute the bitter/alkaline taste of the sperm in the semen.
  • Sweet fruits — particularly pineapple. Some of the sugar goes into your semen.
  • Acidic fruits, like cranberries, citrus, pineapple, and peppers. The acidity cancels out the alkaline taste of sperm.
  • Vitamin C will reduce the quantity of salt in your semen. Fruit again, including pineapple, but also celery which has lots of water.
  • Some spices, including cinnamon, cardamom, and peppermint.

If pineapple jumped out to you from the list then you’re not alone. Along with drinking plenty of water, the internet seems to agree that pineapples are a surefire way to improve your semen flavor. For people who don’t want to eat pineapples all the time, you can buy the pineapple enzyme called bromelain as a supplement — it’s like eating ten pineapples in a pill, but without the acidity, sugar, or vitamin C that seem to be important elements of pineapple’s power. For science I tried some bromelain supplements for a few days, but they made my stomach so upset that I had to stop taking them before Sexy Corte could render a verdict on their effectiveness.

Which brings us to the final question: how long will it take for a change in habits to result in a change to semen taste? The improvement will happen gradually over the course of a week as the fluid from your prostate cycles out of your body and is replenished. Presumably you can speed this process up by drinking and ejaculating more.

This post probably won’t be effective enough to bring about world peace or destroy civilization, but maybe it will help a marriage or two. Got any other tips or experiences to share? Leave a comment and let us know!

Nietzsche and the Bible on Marriage, Possession, and Love 11

Friedrich Nietzsche is perhaps most famous for declaring and lamenting that “God is dead.”

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?

But Nietzsche also touched on psychology, and in “Beyond Good and Evil” (in aphorism 194) he wrote some thoughts about desire and possession in marriage. It’s worth noting that despite his amazing mustache Nietzsche never married, often visited brothels, endured numerous physical and mental afflictions, and died at the age of 55.

[I have inserted paragraph breaks below to improve readability.]

The difference among men does not manifest itself only in the difference of their lists of desirable things—in their regarding different good things as worth striving for, and being disagreed as to the greater or less value, the order of rank, of the commonly recognized desirable things:—it manifests itself much more in what they regard as actually HAVING and POSSESSING a desirable thing.

As regards a woman, for instance, the control over her body and her sexual gratification serves as an amply sufficient sign of ownership and possession to the more modest man;

another with a more suspicious and ambitious thirst for possession, sees the “questionableness,” the mere apparentness of such ownership, and wishes to have finer tests in order to know especially whether the woman not only gives herself to him, but also gives up for his sake what she has or would like to have—only THEN does he look upon her as “possessed.”

A third, however, has not even here got to the limit of his distrust and his desire for possession: he asks himself whether the woman, when she gives up everything for him, does not perhaps do so for a phantom of him; he wishes first to be thoroughly, indeed, profoundly well known; in order to be loved at all he ventures to let himself be found out. Only then does he feel the beloved one fully in his possession, when she no longer deceives herself about him, when she loves him just as much for the sake of his devilry and concealed insatiability, as for his goodness, patience, and spirituality.

One man would like to possess a nation, and he finds all the higher arts of Cagliostro and Catalina suitable for his purpose. Another, with a more refined thirst for possession, says to himself: “One may not deceive where one desires to possess”—he is irritated and impatient at the idea that a mask of him should rule in the hearts of the people: “I must, therefore, MAKE myself known, and first of all learn to know myself!”

From Nietzsche’s nihilistic perspective we see three types of men with increasing levels of ambition for possession — not only for possession of a woman, but here using that possession as an example.

  1. The Modest Man is satisfied with controlling the woman’s body and her sexual gratification.
  2. The Ambitious Man additionally requires that the woman give up herself and her desires for his sake.
  3. The Third Man requires all that, but still will not be satisfied unless the woman knows him thoroughly and profoundly, such that she does not deceive herself into thinking that he is better than he is.

When we contrast Nietzsche’s thinking with the Bible we can easily see how his glimpse of the truth was twisted by nihilism. Consider:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:22-33

Some differences that jump out:

  • Instead of possession, the Bible speaks of love.
  • Instead of control, the Bible speaks of submission.
  • Instead of the wife giving herself up for her husband, the Bible says that the husband gives himself up for his wife.
  • Instead of loving devilry and goodness alike, the Bible teaches that we can be washed clean and made holy.

And yet buried within Nietzsche’s nihilism is a profound truth: we all have the desire to be “thoroughly, indeed, profoundly well known”, and this craving to be known is interwoven with our need to love and be loved. The great chapter on love, 1 Corinthians 13, decimates Nietzsche’s ambition to merely possess and concludes with a deeply satisfying promise that through love we will ultimately know and be known.

… but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. [snip] For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

1 Corinthians 13:10-12

(Side note: Some Christians are dissatisfied with the teachings in Ephesians 5, especially with regard to love and submission, but be sure to notice the stark contrast between the Bible and Nietzsche. Nietzsche was one of the greatest secular minds in history and has had a profound impact on modern culture. It you “kill God” you must yourselves “become gods” to replace him, and don’t be so sure that you’ll do a better job of it. Nietzsche died alone and insane.)