"New Faithful" + Frenulum Technique 1

We’ve discovered two innovations that combine features from a few of our favorite positions. Before we get into the details, check out these earlier posts for background.

The innovations are tweaks on New Faithful, a position that works like this:

  • Wife lies on her back with her legs spread.
  • Husband straddles the wife’s arm/shoulder and holds his torso vertical, with his penis over the wife’s head and thrusting into her mouth.
  • Wife licks the husbands balls and penis.
  • Husband uses a vibrator on the wife’s clitoris to bring her to orgasm with his penis in her mouth.

New Faithful is great for three primary reasons:

  • It’s a good way for Sexy Corte to orgasm while she’s on her period.
  • The position is comfortable for Sexy Corte — she just has to lie on her back.
  • I love the feel of her having an orgasm with my penis in her mouth.

Ok, so here are the two innovations that made this post worth writing.

First, we’ve discovered that New Faithful is awesome for frenulum stimulation. (The frenulum is a small area under the head of the penis that is similar to the female clitoris.) In New Faithful the wife can lay with her head and mouth pointing straight up and the husband can rest his frenulum right on her lips and mouth — like a golf ball on a tee. The wife should use her tongue to wet her lips and lick the frenulum while the husband rubs himself forward and backwards on her mouth. You might also incorporate some tasty edible lube!

This technique can be sustained for a long time because the wife doesn’t have to twist her neck or work her jaw to perform oral sex, and endurance is important because reaching an orgasm from frenulum stimulation alone can take a while. I actually haven’t been able to do it yet — the nature of the stimulation is different and more gradual than what a man experiences “normally” with stimulation of the whole shaft of the penis. Achieving a frenulum orgasm is one of my sexual goals!

Second, we’ve discovered that Sexy Corte really enjoys the combination of her holding an egg vibrator on herself while I stimulate her clitoris with my fingers. The vibrator and my fingers work together to drive her crazy, and she has an easy time reaching orgasm this way while performing oral sex on me. This has become our go-to activity to give her an orgasm while she’s on her period.

Sometimes people have questions on how to do Old Faithful and New Faithful, so feel to ask in the comments. And don’t be shy about sharing your own tips!

The Art of Snuggling 2

Buddy the Elf said “First we’ll make snow angels for two hours, then we’ll go ice skating, then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie Dough as fast as we can and then we’ll snuggle“. There are few pleasures in life that are greater than snuggling. However, in our busy lives, how often do we take time to snuggle? Buddy was onto something with scheduling time to snuggle. Put snuggling on your calendar — or set an alarm to snuggle.

Snuggling has a lot of health benefits. When you snuggle, you release oxytocin, which does all sorts of wonderful things. Oxytocin can make you feel all lovey, can boost your immune system, relieve pain, lower stress, and help you sleep better. It’s the chemical that is released in nursing mothers that deepens the bond between the mother and child. Human touch can also release dopamine, which can increase intimacy and enhance your lovemaking experience.

There are a variety of ways to snuggle:

  • Spooning: El Fury and I have a ‘Snuggle Alarm’ that goes off 10 minutes before we actually want to get up. Actually, it goes off 10 minutes before we have sex… and then we get up. I love that 10 minutes in the morning. I roll to my side and El Fury nestles up behind me for spooning. We lay there in a sleepy state, sometimes talking about how we slept, sometimes lucid dreaming. If I’m going to have sexy dreams, those usually take place during this 10 minutes of snuggling. We also spoon for a few minutes before we fall asleep.
  • Snuggle Classic: There are times that my body craves sidling up to El Fury, laying my head on his chest and draping a leg casually over one of his. This is a great position right before bed, especially if El Fury is still reading and I’m drifting off to sleep.
  • Sexy Snuggling: My favorite foreplay position! I can stay in this position forever, it is so delightful. El Fury and I face each other, I prop my leg up on top of his and nuzzle my face into his neck. He plays with my lady bits while I lay there and bask in comfort, and eventually I start to play with him. Time disappears. At some point I’m motivated by the thought of the kids waking up and we switch to a more aggressive foreplay position.
  • Sit next to each other: This seems simple, but even sitting close to each other while watching a show or parallel playing can still give you the benefits of snuggling.
  • Spontaneous Snuggle: Sometimes a quick hug or snuggle does the trick! Be mindful to make intentional touch-points throughout your day. If El Fury is sitting at his computer and I come in to ask him a question, he opens up his arms and I hop on his lap for a minute.

Do you and your spouse snuggle? What are your favorite ways to snuggle? I hope you enjoy each other in this way. Marriage is a blessing, and the presence of someone you love is one of God’s greatest gifts. Don’t let the time slip by without enjoying the simple pleasure of snuggling.

Sequential Orgasms, Multiple Orgasms 3

On Saturday and Sunday mornings my wife Sexy Corte will go for two orgasms about 25% of the time, and I love giving them to her. We’ve written before about Leveling-Up Your Sex Life and doing whatever it takes to give your wife as many orgasms as she wants, and in our experience giving Sexy Corte multiple orgasms when she wants to work for them is very rewarding and intimate.

So now we’re going to travel back in time all the way to 2008 — to the best of my knowledge, female orgasms haven’t changed much since then. A writer named PeppermintGirl wrote two posts about multiple orgasms at the Christian Nymphos blog that we thought some of our readers might find useful. First she writes about sequential orgasms.

Having multiple orgasms is a learned response.  If you are going to teach yourself first, a bullet or vibe may work better then your fingers.  Get nice and comfortable.  Think of how you can bring yourself to orgasm without over stimulating your clitoris.  In the past an ultra sensitive clitoris has been what has held me back from going for more but with time and retraining of my brain I have learned to get past it.  If your husband is a willing participant then having him performing oral or using a toy on you first would be ideal. […]  Once you do have that first orgasm bask in the afterglow for a minute and slowly begin exploring again.  You want to keep that clitoris engorged so don’t bask too long!!! 

This second orgasm will take longer to achieve because your body is not use to going for more.  You may be sensitive when you first start again but keep working through it just be gentle.  After that ultra sensitive time period has passed you can begin using more pressure to bring that second O on.  […]  After your second orgasm make note of how long it took you.  We are trying to get them as close together as possible.  The more you try to achieve multiple o’s the easier it will become.  Just like so many other things, practice makes perfect!

In the second post she writes about bunches of o’s.

These types of orgasms usually come from a little luck and a lot of hard work.  First my body had to learn how to shorten my refractory time to nothing.  You read that correctly, women have a refractory time too.  I talked about how to do this in “Multiple Orgasms; Part One”.  Once you master sequential orgasms then your body may start having these “bunches of  o’s”.

Bunches of O’s:  This type of orgasm comes one after the other in a continuous string until you decide to stop.   They are much less common then the sequential o’s but they are possible.  You just need to work at shortening the time between your sequential o’s and with some persistence these “Bunches of O’s” can be achieved.  Instead of basking in the glow like we discussed in part one of this series you keep the stimulation going constantly. The last time I had one of these my poor husband thought he was going to have to perform CPR.  Do I have this type of contraction every time I have an orgasm?  No, but when they happen it is a nice surprise.

There are two obstacles to Sexy Corte having limitless orgasms:

  • Sensitive clitoris. Strong stimulation after an orgasm feels unpleasant or painful, so we have to back off.
  • It’s hard work. It isn’t easy to have tons of orgasms in a row, and most of the time Sexy Corte doesn’t think it’s worth the effort.

Like PeppermintGirl wrote, having an orgasm is a physical skill that you can improve with practice and effort. The practice can be pretty fun, but the effort is real. Whether you’re trying for multiple, sequential, “bunches”, or just easier orgasms, you can move towards your goal if you put in the work. But… don’t be so goal-oriented that you miss out on intimacy with your spouse!

We haven’t experienced a continuous stream of orgasms yet, but there was one night early in our marriage when I gave Sexy Corte seven sequential orgasms in one session. Maybe someday we’ll have energy for that again!

Do you have any tips or tricks for multiple orgasms? Let us know in the comments!

Use Breast-Play to Bond With Your Spouse via Oxytocin 4

Communication is always a great place to start, but here’s a biological trick you can use to jump-start intimacy and bonding with your spouse: play with the wife’s breasts. Breast-play releases the hormone oxytocin which stimulates bonding and feelings of intimacy.

Larry Young, a professor of psychiatry at Emory University and co-author of The “Chemistry Between Us” (2019), believes that men’s love of breasts is simply that human evolution has co-opted an ancient neural circuit which was originally designed to strengthen the bond between mother and infant.

Oxytocin is nature’s “love drug,” and nipple stimulation, be it from an infant during breast feeding, or from a man during coitus, floods a woman’s brain. This helps the woman focus on the task at hand. Quite simply, when men bit, nibble, suck, or caress women’s nipples, he helps her body release oxytocin in the woman’s brain producing a bonding experience.

According to Young, attraction to breasts “is a brain organization effect that occurs in straight males when they go through puberty…Evolution has selected for this brain organization in men that makes them attracted to the breasts in a sexual context, because the outcome is that it activates the female bonding circuit, making women feel more bonded with him. It’s a behavior that males have evolved in order to stimulate the female’s maternal bonding circuitry.”

What’s more, nipple stimulation for women apparently triggers the same areas of the brain as genital stimulation.

For many women, nipples are erogenous zones. A new study may explain why: The sensation from the nipples travels to the same part of the brain as sensations from the vagina, clitoris and cervix.

The study, published online July 28 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, is the first to map the female genitals onto the sensory portion of the brain. Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), researchers noted which brain areas become active when women touch various parts of their bodies. The genital-sensing brain areas in women roughly correspond to the same areas in men, but the nipple finding was a surprise, said study researcher Barry Komisaruk, a psychologist at Rutgers University.

“My speculation is that this could be the basis for many women saying that nipple stimulation is erotogenic, because it stimulates the same area as the genitals,” Komisaruk told LiveScience.

So if you’re feeling distant or disconnected from your spouse, along with communication invest some quality time in breast-play. The oxytocin released will help you bond together and strengthen your relationship and intimacy.

(See also: How to play with breasts.)

Four Techniques for Female Pleasure: Angling, Rocking, Shallowing, and Pairing 5

OMGYes has released a Pleasure Report that describes four penetration techniques that are reported to be the most pleasurable for most women.

“We asked thousands of women what they do to experience more pleasure from penetrative sex and found there are four techniques that work for most women,” says sexual and reproductive health scientist, Christiana von Hippel.

Dubbed Angling, Rocking, Shallowing, and Pairing, they stand out from suggestions provided by other scientific studies that tend to scaffold pleasure around specific sexual acts, or the involvement of specific objects or body parts.

Sounds super-scientific! I bet these techniques are going to blow our minds.

For example, 87.5 percent of the respondents claimed Angling did it for them – rotating or elevating the pelvis just right to find a position where the toy, penis, or digits touch just right.

So… find the most pleasurable angle for penetration. Genius.

Around three quarters of those surveyed advocated Rocking, an action defined by movements that help the base of the penis or toy rub consistently against the clitoris during penetration.

Stimulate the clitoris. Wow, thanks science!

About 84 percent of those in the study enjoy a penetrative touch towards the outside of the vagina, dubbed Shallowing.

Ok, Shallowing might be a little less obvious that the first two ideas. We wrote about this technique here: When It Goes In — Shallow Penetration. Most of the nerve endings in the vagina are near the entrance, so it can feel pretty great for the husband to slide the head of his penis in and out at a shallow depth — and it might help the husband delay his own orgasm longer if the full shaft of his penis isn’t being stimulated.

Lastly, there’s also Pairing activity: Just under 70 percent of survey participants claimed they thoroughly enjoyed having their clitoris stimulated with a toy or finger while being penetrated.

Pairing might seem obvious, but it actually took me and Sexy Corte about a year to figure it out after we got married. Now, our go-to position when she wants an orgasm is for her to sit on top of me while I hold an egg vibrator wedged between us against her clitoris. She is practicing to orgasm in other positions, but this is the easiest for her by far.

Research like this can be valuable for guiding sexual exploration in your marriage, but in the end each couple will need to discover what feels good to them. Play around and try new things! You never know what you might like until you try it.

Were there any sexual techniques that took you a while to discover? Leave us a comment and help out the rest of us!

Jockey Sex Position, Perfect for Snuggling 6

We first wrote about the jockey sex position over four years ago with lots of tips and tricks, and we’ve decided to write about it again because of a recent morning encounter that was especially intimate. Go read the earlier post for foundational information — we’re not going to repeat it all in this post.

People usually don’t think of rear-entry positions as being particularly intimate, with doggy style as the most notable example. Some wives feel that doggy style makes them feel disconnected or distant from their husband because of the limited touch and eye contact. Some wives also hesitate to embrace doggy style because the position makes them feel more vulnerable or submissive than they’re ready for. If you or your wife are feeling that way, then jockey position might be a great thing to try — it’s fun in its own way, and it could be a stepping stone towards doggy style.

If you aren’t familiar with jockey position, here’s a diagram from ChristianFriendlySexPositions.com that they call “flatiron”. They don’t have the jockey position in their database, but it’s the same as flatiron minus the pillow under the wife’s hips. (But feel free to use a pillow, it’s great.)

Jockey has a lot more skin contact than doggy style even though it isn’t face-to-face, and it’s wonderfully easy to hold hands in this position. Like all rear entry positions, jockey is probably best used after the wife has an orgasm or when she doesn’t want one. Sexy Corte has had an orgasm in this position (with a bullet vibrator), but jockey isn’t the best position for this.

Sexy Corte and I use jockey very frequently when she isn’t in the mood for an orgasm. What made this instance particularly memorable was the time I spent touching rather than thrusting. After entering her, instead of lying right down on her back I spent a while kneeling upright, rubbing and kissing all over her body. I love her butt, so this was a great opportunity to squeeze and spank her and the view was awesome. I kissed all over her back, shoulders, and neck, and rubbed her up and down from her hands to her butt.

Even though Sexy Corte didn’t want an orgasm, she really enjoyed this intimate attention. It was certainly sexual (because I was inside her the whole time), but the touching didn’t stimulate her to frustration like rubbing her clitoris would (without an orgasm). I love petting and kissing Sexy Corte, and it gratified me to give her that intimate physical pleasure when she didn’t want an orgasm.

Sexy Corte adds: Jockey is great, especially if I don’t want to have an orgasm. I like it because it’s relaxed and snuggly. We frequently do this position in the mornings when we’re both sleepy, and it’s very comfy for me and I can enjoy El Fury’s closeness and warmth. I have been able to orgasm in this position but it can be tricky to get the vibrator in the right spot. Anytime El Fury focuses on petting me I become incapacitated, and I always love a good petting session when we can connect like this.

What are you favorite sex positions for snuggling? Wives, what positions to you most enjoy if you aren’t in the mood for an orgasm?

Perfect Example of Trying Again 8

This post is a follow-up to conversation we had with wife “LT” about the struggles she and her husband were having with doggy style. LT was very open about their challenges, and several of our readers shared their experiences and guidance in the comments to the earlier post. You can go read the first exchange at the link above, but to refresh your memory LT started her email with:

Hey, I’m struggling with something and I hope you can offer me some advice. My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. Two weeks ago we finally tried having sex in the doggy style position. I had an open mind, but I absolutely hated it.

To their great credit LT and her husband decided to try doggy style again; here’s how it went.

Thank you once again for all your help. You and your husband have been very kind. I’ve read and reread your advice and all the comments, and my husband and I decided to try again. We’ve spoken about it, and I explained, to the best of my ability, how it made me feel. I told him that it is really difficult for me and that I need him go very slowly, and I need him to hold my hand during it.

So, we decided to try it again. We did for a few minutes, but at some point in time, it began to feel too intense. The feelings of vulnerability were too intense. Everything was just too intense. My husband was lovely, he was going very slowly and held my hand in his the entire time. He also would ask me how I am doing all the time. It was very sweet. I was really trying to let the feelings pass, and really tried to enjoy the new sensations. I wanted to enjoy it. I wanted to do it for my husband, and I wanted to do it for myself. But, at some point in time I just broke into tears right there in bed with us still “doing it”. I do not know what it was, but I was just completely overcome with emotion. I cannot remember the last time I was that emotional, but it resonated through my entire body. I just sobbed. I was just so embarrassed. My poor husband was trying his hardest to console me, but it was just pouring out of me.

After, I guess, about an hour of this, we finally made love “normally” face-to-face and it was perfect. I really enjoyed it. I thank you and all the readers for their advice, it was very helpful and insightful. But, I feel that I just really need more intimacy when we make love and I just cannot picture myself ever enjoying sex in that position.

P.S., Feel free to share on the blog if you feel like it would help the discussion. Sorry that I was not a success story.

Let’s begin with the postscript: we think this experience was a great success! Let’s count the ways.

  • They communicated openly and honestly. It’s hard to have difficult conversations with your spouse about sex. LT was very specific about how she felt and what she needed, and her husband was receptive to her needs. We get zillions of emails from people who are so embarrassed to talk directly with their spouse about sex that they spend decades wishing without ever asking. Good conversations about sex increase intimacy and improve your sexual experiences with your spouse.
  • They tried again. It’s easy to give up when things get difficult. It’s easy to evade and avoid. It’s easy to not talk about it. It’s easy to do what’s comfortable and safe. It’s easy to try once and quit. LT and her husband overcame all these excuses and put their best effort into trying again, and that’s a success.
  • They shared emotional intimacy. Both LT and her husband were willing to be extremely vulnerable with each other. It’s really beautiful to read about their emotional intimacy from LT’s perspective, and it’s obvious that they’re willing to share the depths of their souls with each other. Emotional intimacy is often deepened most by sharing difficult experiences, and demonstrating vulnerability and trust is a big success.
  • They finished strong after the frustration. Even after the emotionally draining attempt with doggy style LT and her husband stuck together and made a “perfect” intimate experience. It can be hard to maintain or restart a sexual encounter when it gets disrupted, especially by perceived “failure”, but LT and her husband put in the work to finish strong and end with a success.

LT’s story is a perfect example of trying again. LT and her husband put their best effort into trying doggy style, and even though the attempt didn’t go as planned they were successful in several ways that are more important than merely “accomplishing” a specific sexual position.

Near the end of her email LT writes, “I just cannot picture myself ever enjoying sex in that position.” Is she right? Should they try again again? LT and her husband gave doggy style their best effort and LT didn’t enjoy it, so it’s reasonable for them to think that it’s time to move on. There’s no need to burn yourself out (or your spouse) by repeating the same frustrations over and over. After you “try, try again” and give some sexual activity your best effort, give yourself (and your spouse) permission to let it go…

… for now. No one knows what the future will bring. People change. Give it a few months, or a year, and try again with an open mind. You never know — you might surprise yourself!

What’s your experience with trying again? Are there any sexual activities that you have a hard time with? Have you had any great experiences trying again? Please share with us in the comments!

Hands-Free Vibrator in Doggy Style 9

We use a vibrator when we have sex to help Sexy Corte reach orgasm easily and reliably, but this ties up one of my hands and limits our range of positions — what to do? Well, we’ve finally found a solution, at least for one position!

When we have sex, Sexy Corte typically starts on top and rides me while I use an egg vibrator on her clitoris until she has one or more orgasms. This is the easiest position for her to climax and we use it 90% of the time. One of the reasons this position has worked so well for us is that it’s comfortable for me to hold the vibrator against her and it’s comfortable for both of us for her to straddle me. Unlike most of the sex positions you’ll find online, we can actually hold this position until Sexy Corte orgasms!

This usual approach works very well, but we enjoy trying new things and I’ve wanted to find some way to comfortably reach Sexy Corte with a vibrator in another position — and even better would be finding a way to free up my hands for other activities. So here’s what we’re experimenting with right now.

We’ve written a lot about the doggy style position, and now we’ve found a couple of toys that can help Sexy Corte reach orgasm in this position while keeping my hands free! The first is an inflatable tube-shaped bolster pillow with a mysterious hole built into it. What’s the hole for? The item description doesn’t say. It could be for anything… your remote control, your tiny drink… who knows?

Hands-Free Vibrator in Doggy Style 10
Inflatable bolster pillow with mysterious hole visible near the far end of the pillow.

Well, we found the perfect thing to stick in the hole: our wand vibrator.

Hands-Free Vibrator in Doggy Style 11
A simple wand vibrator.

The process is simple:

  • Turn the wand vibrator on and push the handle down into the hole on the pillow. The hole is tight enough to hold the vibrator securely in position.
  • Turn the pillow so the head of the vibrator is sticking out and pointing up.
  • Wife straddles the pillow so the vibrator is on her clitoris, and bends over into the doggy style position.
  • Wife rests her body on the pillow and rubs against the vibrator while husband enters her from behind.

We’re still experimenting with this new hands-free vibrator position — we aren’t used to the position yet so Sexy Corte takes longer to climax and I have trouble holding my orgasm back! Obviously we need a lot more practice.

Now that we’ve found a hands-free way to use a vibrator there must be a ton of other positions to try it in. Do you have any suggestions? Have you found any other ways to use a vibrator hands-free? Let us know in the comments.

Sex Q&A: Wife on Doggy Style: "I felt too exposed and vulnerable" 12

The doggy style position occupies a prominent place in our mental landscape and carries a lot of different connotations, both positive and negative. Wife “LT” wrote to us about her mental, emotional, and physical struggle with the position and agreed to let us share her emails in the hope that this discussion will be helpful and that other women would offer their perspective on doggy style as well.

Wife LT began:

Hey, I’m struggling with something and I hope you can offer me some advice. My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. Two weeks ago we finally tried having sex in the doggy style position. I had an open mind, but I absolutely hated it.

Firstly, I hated the lack of eye-contact. Not being able to see or kiss my husband made me feel very insecure. I tried looking back at him as much as I could, but it was physically awkward turning my head. I also felt that the position was too submissive. I felt too exposed and vulnerable. I had no control. My husband and I have a very equal relationship, and being so submissive felt wrong to me. I really missed the intimacy and closeness of the missionary position. I just did not feel loved. As we were doing it, all I could think about was how much I wanted for my husband to just tell me that he loves me and for him to kiss me. At some point I even reached out and held my husband’s hand as I was craving some sort of a connection. I held his hand the entire time until he had orgasmed. Being able to hold his hand during it made it slightly more bearable.

When my husband finished, I went straight to the bathroom and cried. Now I regret ever doing it, and I never want to feel like that again. I guess my question is whether what I am feeling makes sense, and how do I tell my husband about this as he seemed to have enjoyed it. Thank you so much.

I wrote back:

I understand your struggle with this position. It’s a position that in certain contexts can indicate a level of inferiority. You feel like it lacks intimacy and puts you in a role that you feel like you aren’t being respected by your husband. I hope my thoughts can help you see doggy style in a different way and encourage you to communicate your thoughts to your husband.

First, I would focus on the truth that you know about your husband rather than project speculative thoughts onto him. In general, do you feel like you have a close, intimate relationship with your husband? Do you feel like your husband holds you in high regard and respects you? If both of those are true, then you have no reason to fear that doing this position will make your husband think less of you or your relationship. For El Fury, the angle of this position allows him to connect with me in a different way because he can push deeper inside of me. It’s different from other positions. Because of that, it feels incredible to him. For me, if I am highly aroused, it feels great to me as well for that same reason, he touches a part of me that he otherwise wouldn’t reach. With that said, we usually only do doggy style after I orgasm. If we start with it, I’m usually not aroused enough and it can be painful.  I tell you that because I’m thinking it will help you to understand why your husband might like that position.

For the vulnerability aspect, submission doesn’t have to mean it’s demeaning. Vulnerability is an indication of trust, which can be incredibly intimate. When El Fury and I try new things, I know that I can trust him not to go too far, or lose control, or do anything that would hurt me. Knowing that is very meaningful to me. I think from his end, knowing that I trust him with those things is meaningful to him as well!

I think it would be great for you to talk to your husband. Ask him questions, find out what he liked about it. Tell him your concerns and make a plan together on if you will incorporate this position into your sex lives in the future. In my own marriage, this position is like an accent position, and done with the right intent can feel pretty great. I hope this helps! I prayed for you that you would be able to have a good conversation with your husband about this.

LT replied:

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful reply. I think I see what you mean by how the shared vulnerability can be meaningful. You are also 100% correct that I do need to talk to my husband about it. I guess at this point I am still struggling to process my own thoughts and feelings. As I’ve said in my initial letter, it just felt awful to me. I felt violated. My husband and I are indeed in a good loving relationship, so I am not sure why my emotions were so strong. In fact, it felt a little better when I could hold my husband’s hand during it. I was craving more of my husband (not less).  I would be happy for you to share my post on your blog if it means that perhaps I could get some more feedback from other readers.

I may need some time to make sense of this.

It can take time and prayer to process complex thoughts and emotions, so give yourself that space. Hopefully your husband will be gracious and eager to learn more about you!

El Fury adds:

LT: Good for you and your husband for experimenting! It sounds like you have a solid sex life together, which is something to be thankful for. I’ll jump on the end of this post to offer a husband’s perspective. Every man is different, so take my views with a grain of salt and be sure to talk to your own husband to get his perspective.

First, yes, doggy style feels physically great! The position lends itself to deeper penetration and greater tightness than positions where the wife’s legs are spread open. Doggy style also gives the husband a wide range of motion, a beautiful view, and lots of fun things to do with his hands. These are all pretty obvious reasons why a husband is likely to enjoy doggy style.

Second, it’s worth exploring the emotional and relational elements of doggy style. I want to highlight a portion of what LT wrote:

I also felt that the position was too submissive. I felt too exposed and vulnerable. I had no control. My husband and I have a very equal relationship, and being so submissive felt wrong to me.

For a husband it is extremely arousing to receive willing sexual vulnerability and submission from his wife. Men love feeling dominant and powerful, and it’s emotionally arousing when your wife trusts you enough to submit to you sexually. The wife being “exposed and vulnerable” is one of the best parts of doggy style; if you can embrace this emotional facet of your sex life it can lead to incredible intimacy. Many a husband fantasizes of commanding his wife to “bend over” or “get down on your knees” and receiving eager, enthusiastic submission.

LT: Bluntly, your husband may have liked doggy style for the exact same reason that it made you uncomfortable. This doesn’t mean your husband doesn’t love and respect you — I’m sure he does. But he also wants to go beast mode and *blank* you like an animal sometimes. Both things can be true at once.

After an emotionally intense sexual encounter it’s important to kiss and cuddle and reinforce the gentler elements of the relationship, and I think this was missing from your foray into doggy style. Before you try it again, make sure you tell your husband how intense it will be for you and help him understand the support you’ll want from him before, during, and after. This conversation might make your husband reluctant to try doggy style again for fear of making you uncomfortable, so you might need to verbally or physically reassure him that you’re serious about it, that you trust him and want to be vulnerable. Create an opportunity for your husband to be dominant and give him permission to take it.

If you want to read more about why sexual submission and vulnerability from the wife is arousing to her husband, check out these posts:

Readers, especially wives, what do you think about doggy style? Is it emotionally intense for you? Does vulnerability help create intimacy? Leave a comment and let us know.

Update: Make sure to check out the conclusion to this story in the post, Perfect Example of Trying Again.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will never reveal your name or any other identifying information.

Ten Types of Female Orgasms??? 13

The female body is pretty amazing, but can women really have ten kinds of orgasms? Sexy Corte and I will tackle this topic together.

(Note: This post will refer to the diagrams in our earlier post, All About Female Orgasms (Safe Diagrams) which covers some of the orgasm types described below.)

1. Clitoral orgasms.

El Fury: Obviously yes, despite the fact that some men don’t seem to know how to rub a clitoris. (diagram)

Sexy Corte: I’m amazed at how tiny a clitoris is, and how it can make me feel such big things. Clitoral stimulation is how I orgasm. That’s it. Other techniques listed below can heighten that experience, but without focused stimulation on my clitoris, it doesn’t go anywhere. It can take 20-30 minutes of focus to get to orgasm, and sometimes even longer. Husbands, my best advice to make your wife love sex is to learn to navigate her clitoris. Use your hand or a vibrator, you will know when you are on the right track. Human females are the only females that can orgasm. What a gift from God!

2. Vaginal orgasms.

For many of us, this type of orgasm remains elusive. That’s because most women (50-75 percent) can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone.

… another researcher found that part of the vagina (where the G-spot zone is located) is inextricably linked with the internal parts of the clitoris. Thus, “vaginal” orgasms could actually be clitoral orgasms by another name.

El Fury: This is the idealized kind of orgasm that you see depicted in movie love scenes. They’re real, and some women can have them easily, but most women benefit from clitoral stimulation.

Sexy Corte: I am one of the majority that cannot orgasm this way. However, my favorite way to orgasm is with vaginal sex combined with EF using a vibrator on my clitoris. Never gets old.

3. G-spot orgasms.

The G-spot is an orgasmic erogenous zone on the front wall of the vagina and is made up of the urethral sponge and Female Erectile Network. It swells upon arousal, and G-spot orgasms are said to be more intense, longer-lasting, and more full-bodied than clitoral orgasms.

Hitting the G-spot can also result in female ejaculation or “squirting.”

El Fury: The G-spot combined with internal parts of the clitoris probably lead to what people call “vaginal orgasms”, discussed above. Curling two fingers in a “come here” motion inside the vagina is the easiest way to manually stimulate the G-spot (diagram).

Sexy Corte: When EF has tried to stimulate this area it hasn’t done much for me, but I’m open to keep trying.

4. Cervical orgasms.

Many women don’t even know this type of orgasm is possible. The cervix itself, lies at the very back of the vagina, past the G-spot. It’s the entrance to a woman’s uterus and protrudes into the vagina like a rounded button resembling the head of a penis.

Cervical orgasms have been described as deeper, full-bodied, expanded orgasms, like an ecstatic tingling experience or “a shower of stars.”

While clitoral orgasms have a quick peak and release, G-spot and cervical orgasm come in waves of bliss, with a pleasurable sensation that can last for hours. Some women say that cervical orgasms are almost “spiritual” in nature.

El Fury: The whole area around the cervix seems to be sensitive to stimulation. In addition to the cervix itself, the anterior fornix (diagram) and posterior fornix (diagram) can be stimulated for orgasms.

Sexy Corte: Hmm, this sounds like a necessary experience. Let’s try to achieve this soon!

5. U-spot orgasms.

This tiny orgasmic spot is just above your urethral opening but is often neglected, poor thing. The U-spot is a highly sensitive erogenous zone that can create strong orgasms and also takes part in female ejaculation.

It is located in the vulva, just above the vagina and below the clitoris, surrounding the urethra opening (above and to either side) like an upside-down “U.” It is a highly-sensitive bundle of nerves, as well as erectile tissue that can feel extremely erotic when stimulated.

El Fury: This seems likely to be another extension of the clitoris.

Sexy Corte: This whole area is sensitive, and stimulation here is required for me to orgasm. Keeping stimulation focused here during sex makes the experience amazing.

6. Anal orgasms.

This type of orgasm is on people’s bucket list more and more. Why? The anus opening and anal canal are distinct erogenous zones on their own, rich in nerve endings and super-sensitive to stimulation and penetration.

The “rosebud,” or anal opening enjoys soft sensual massage with lots of lubricant. The anus itself should be penetrated very slowly, based on the receiver’s preference.

Stimulation of the anus, perineum, and rectum can engage the pelvic and pudendal nerves, which are implicated in the orgasmic response.

El Fury: Well, we’re working on this intermittently. Anal stimulation seems to be most pleasurable when combined with clitoral stimulation.

Sexy Corte: It is arousing when EF plays around in that area. Actual penetration is currently more distracting than arousing. If he is playing around there it can make my orgasm more intense.

7. Throat-gasms.

This type of orgasm is a bit strange, I’ll admit. But reportedly, women can experience an oral or throat orgasm during oral sex on a penis, particularly when they are deep-throating while giving a blow job (a dildo also works).

The throat is connected to the vagus nerve, cervix, and uterus, according to orgasm researchers Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk, which can trigger orgasms.

That’s why moaning and making lots of sounds during sex or solo pleasure is a good thing. It increases your orgasmic potential and helps to move the orgasmic energy throughout the body.

Full-body orgasms? Yes, please!

And, get this: The mouth and throat are highly-sensitive erogenous zones that contain more nerve endings than the vagina.

El Fury: I’ve written several times about how awesome it is for Sexy Corte to have an orgasm while performing oral sex on me. It’s one of my favorite things in the world. I suppose the world would be a better place if semen tasted like chocolate and women could have orgasms from deep-throating, but this seems incredibly far-fetched to me.

On the other hand, I completely agree that audible sexual responsiveness really improves sex. Talking, moaning, yelling, and crying out during sex will definitely intensify the experience.

Sexy Corte: I do orgasm while giving EF oral, but that is the direct cause of him stimulating my clitoris at the same time. I definitely agree that a good moan gets me going. I respond in an auditory way, which is helpful for EF to know if he is on the right track. If all of the kids are out of the house it’s really fun to let loose!

8. Nipplegasms.

This type of orgasm is luscious and sensual. A nipplegasm is an orgasm that results from nipple stimulation. Approximately 29 percent of women have said they experience these types of orgasms.

Studies done with brain imaging (fMRI) machines now prove that the same part of the brain, known as the “genital sensory cortex,” lights up when the nipples are stimulated, the exact same area that lights up when the clitoris and vagina are stimulated.

So, the nipples and breasts like the genitals can be highly orgasmic.

Sucking on the nipples releases the “love hormone” oxytocin, which is responsible for producing contractions in the uterus, and can produce orgasms. It is also the feel-good-after-sex hormone that makes you all dreamy and lovey-dovey.

El Fury: Breasts and nipples are great, and stimulating them can certainly lead to arousal. But orgasm?

Sexy Corte: My nipple sensitivity emerged after breast-feeding our first child. That event awakened something and made me feel arousal when EF would touch my breasts. It heightens arousal but I have never had an orgasm from nipple play.

9. Body-gasms.

These types of orgasm can seem mythical, until you actually experience them.

Expanded or full-body orgasms are those that are not localized to just the genital region, but can spread all over the body. This can happen when multiple erogenous zones are stimulated simultaneously, such as a combination orgasm with the clitoris and G-spot.

These type of orgasms can lead to multiple orgasms, and “super orgasms” (continuous or long-lasting orgasms). Energy orgasms can also spread through the entire body, as well.

El Fury: I love giving Sexy Corte powerful orgasms and multiple orgasms, and those two things often go together. Even though they take work on both our parts to accomplish, they’re well worth it.

Sexy Corte: I have never experienced this, but I have had orgasms that I have felt in other areas of my body. For example, I’ve had an orgasm that produced such a strong emotion that I cried. Orgasms do impact my body in a way that I shake after for a while. They feel super, but I’m not sure I’ve experienced the super orgasm.

10. Mindgasms.

This type of orgasm seems a bit “out there,” as in out-of-body experience. Mindgasms, also called breath and energy orgasms, are a type of full-body orgasm that may begin in the genitals, but then the raw sexual energy is channeled up the chakras and throughout the body.

Both men and women can experience full-body, breath, and energy orgasms, and it requires no direct stimulation of the genitals. Yes, that means hands-free. It can be a sexual experience, a very spiritual and enlightening experience, or both.

This type of amazing orgasm has been described as feeling like waves of ecstatic, electric energy coursing through your entire body and making you tingle all over. They can last much longer than ordinary orgasms, even hours, with the after-glow effects lasting even days.

El Fury: I’ve heard of this, but never experienced it. Our bodies can do strange and incredible things, and using breathing techniques to induce altered mental states via hypoxia is an age-old practice. But hands-free, no-touch orgasms? I’m guess skeptical.

Sexy Corte: I think this would be really fun to try, although I am skeptical we could achieve orgasm this way. It sounds sexy to sit with your spouse, not touch each other, but guide each other to arousal only through communication without touch. Then move on to touching!

We’d be really curious to hear from our female readers: how many of these orgasms have you had? What’s next on your bucket list? Leave a comment below!