Reader “ME”, who is a wife, wrote to Sexy Corte with this question:
I am curious about a type of “funishment” that involves a peeled piece of ginger inserted into the vagina. Do you or your husband have any information about this?
Thanks again for the wonderful website!
Neither one of us had heard of this practice, so Sexy Corte passed the question to me. A little bit of NSFW internet research revealed that the activity is called “figging”.
Figging is the practice of inserting a piece of skinned ginger root into the human anus or the vagina in order to generate an acute burning sensation. Historically this was a method of punishment, but has since been adopted as a practice of BDSM. [snip] The effect reaches climax within two to five minutes after insertion, and persists for around thirty minutes before gradually easing.
The intensity of the burning can be modulated by rinsing the root before inserting it, and some people apparently find the feeling to be quite pleasurable. Figging seems to be particularly popular practice when combined with light spanking. Maybe the heat is similar to the sensation created by “warming jelly” lubricant?
Sexy Corte says: “Sounds like it could be interesting!”
Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.
I love it when we sleep naked but Sexy Corte isn’t too keen on the idea right now. There are several reasons why she is reluctant to sleep naked, and yet I can’t help but pursue it. (Sexy Corte and I just talked about it this morning, and this post isn’t a passive aggressive note to her!)
First off, a quick recap of previous post about sleeping naked:
Sexy Corte herself writes that sleeping naked is very sexy. “Not only does your skin feel amazing right up against your spouse’s, but feeling nice and silky sheets as you sleep is an added bonus. If your spouse is always wanting sex in the morning, but you have a hard time rousing yourself for it, sleeping naked is an excellent way to get yourself in the mood. Those last lucid dreams can turn very erotic, especially if you are naked snuggling. You are sure to wake up with a voracious sexual appetite!”
Commenter Bald Buy Mike offered a great suggestion a few months ago: “In the next couple of days we will be buying a heating pad for our bed. This goes on like the fitted sheet, but it’s padded and heated! I never knew these existed until a few days ago! All problems solved.”
We bought a heating pad and Sexy Corte loves it. We bought her thigh-high socks which she doesn’t love, but she does like to wear leg warmers which are pretty similar. I think she’s warm enough at night to sleep naked, but she still doesn’t like to for a few reasons that we haven’t solved yet.
Kids. Our darn kids still wake us up at least once a week in the middle of the night, and it’s a hassle to get dressed to take care of them. Sexy Corte has a robe she could throw on when it’s her turn to handle them, but the robe isn’t hanging right by her side of the bed. Maybe I could install a hook nearby?
Handsy husband. When Sexy Corte sleeps naked I tend to get a little handsy and it makes it hard for her to fall asleep. I know… I try not to… but she’s so sexy! It’s even in her name. I blame her, for being so hard to resist. I need more self control.
Sex fluids. We most frequently have sex in the evening, which makes it hard for Sexy Corte to avoid panties and a pantyliner because she’s leaking semen. We like having sex in the morning, but on school days it’s tough. I’m not sure how to solve this one.
Do you and your spouse frequently sleep naked? Do you have any obstacles? Do you have any suggestions for how we can overcome ours?
As long-time readers know, oral sex is one of the most frequent topics that we get asked about by both husbands and wives — specifically about a wife performing oral sex on her husband. Two of the most popular posts on the topic are “Yes, You Should Swallow” and “What Do Wives Think of Swallowing Semen?” In the spirit of that second link, we thought it would be worthwhile to share a few posts from Reddit that dig deeper into women’s thoughts on performing oral sex. Unlike most of our content these posts aren’t specific to the context of marriage, but we think they provide a valuable perspective that might be helpful to our readers.
So I know how most of the connections made between enthusiasm and blowjobs are aimed at women. How do you give a good blowjob? Be enthusiastic. Want it. Etc. And that’s all very valid. But it’s important to remember that male enthusiasm makes a big difference too. [snip]
One day, I decided I’d try and make him come from a blowjob, on his birthday. I was still thinking as if a good blowjob had to be earned, or be on a special day or something. Crazy how much ideas can get into your head. So I looked up tips for good blowjobs and eventually found The Blowjob Manifesto. I studied for an afternoon and then proceeded to give him The Blowjob that changed my life.
He had an orgasm, and was flabbergasted. He told me he never came from blowjobs, especially not after having some alcohol. That I’d blown his mind and that it felt amazing. During the blowjob, he’d also been moaning and making light surprised noises. I felt my ego swell up like a balloon. I felt giddy. Happy. We snuggled and went to sleep. Some time (months) after that, I realised I actually wanted to blow him. That’s when I decided “f*** the rules” (that I’d been following without second thought, about earning them or special days), I’ll just give a blowjob when I want to give one. It’s not just his, it’s also mine.
I love blowjobs now.
Second, here’s the “Blowjob Manifesto” that was mentioned in the previous link. There’s a ton of direct, practical advice here, including encouragement near the end to ask for feedback.
While reading the “What’s your #1 sex tip for the opposite sex” post, I saw a lot of guys begging women to incorporate what I believed to be basic beej technique into their blowjob routines. In response, I have created a guide to giving good head. Hopefully, my years of…extensive field research…will benefit you in some small way. [snip to the end]
A lot of people are afraid to ask for feedback at all, let alone mid-beej. But there are tons of sexy ways to get him to tell you what he likes! Ask, “Oh, you like that baby?” when trying something new. Say, “Does it feel better when I go like this…or like this?” with a coy smile on your face. Want to be dirty? Be specific, “Do you like it when I [do this move] to your cock baby?”. Also, guys just love hearing the word “cock” in general.
So I have a very prominent oral fixation. When I’m attracted to a man, I find extreme pleasure in giving him a blowjob/making out for hours. I could (and have) cum untouched just from how aroused I get by sucking him or kissing him. I don’t know what it is about the idea of how excited he gets, or the feel of him swelling, or just the submission of it, but I’ve often cum in sync. And when I don’t have anyone I’m sexually into, I absentmindedly chew or suck on things. I’m always snacking, drinking, sucking, chewing on my fingers, etc.
But the weird part is it’s not just a fetish for me, but like, a comfort? does anyone else experience that? I find the act of giving a blowjob soothing as well as stimulating, and I could probably easily fall asleep like that.
If any of our female readers would like to add their perspective to the discussion, please leave a comment below.
After posting How To Admire Your Husband’s Penis (and the related podcast episode) we received a couple of emails asking for advice on how a husband can admire his wife’s body. We’re going to tackle that question in this post, beginning with some advice for a wife on how to present her body to her husband for his admiration and attention.
A husband usually isn’t hesitant to flaunt his penis in front of his wife, particularly during a sexual encounter, but many women are shy about their bodies even with their husbands. We receive frequent emails from female readers who suffer from body shame in one form or another, which is very common in our culture today. On this blog we encourage readers to put an effort into being fitandattractive for their spouses, but you’ve got to maintain realistic expectations for yourself and your spouse. This blog can’t solve everyone’s body fears (not even our own), but for the purposes of this post we’re going to assume that you can overcome any anxiety you may have over your body and put your best self forward for your spouse!
“Presentation is everything” generally refers to food, but men are visual creatures and our hunger is naturally drawn to anything that looks tasty — including our wives. In Get (and Give) a Better View of the Action we shared some tips for positioning your bodies during sex so that you can watch the penetration happening, but in this post we’re going to focus on foreplay. Wife, your husband wants to see your naked body! All of it. He wants to devour you with his eyes (and hopefully his mouth too). When you discard your shyness and anxiety and present your body to him, he will make it worth your while.
Here are some tips for how a wife can present her body to her husband:
Naked. Sexy lingerie is fine for some occasions, but for the purposes of sexual presentation you want to be naked and uncovered. Let him see your whole body.
Clean. Be clean and well-groomed. Make yourself appetizing. Wash, shave, brush your teeth, etc.
Unashamed. Don’t be shy and withdrawn, be bold! Put yourself out there, mind and body. Shoulders back. Back arched. Head up.
Vulnerable. Be willing to be vulnerable in front of your husband. Let him see and touch you. Don’t shy away from his eyes or hands.
Open. Keep an open posture — spread your legs open to reveal your lady bits; keep your arms down at your sides or behind your back to expose your breasts; keep your head up and your eyes open.
Inviting. If your husband is shy, invite him to look at you and touch you. Ask him how he wants you to position yourself, or if he wants you to touch yourself. Help him to be comfortable admiring you.
Submissive. Follow your husband’s lead. Even if he’s being shy, invite him to take control of you. Ask him to lead you, and then do what he says.
Eye contact. Keep your eyes on your husband. You don’t need to stare constantly into his eyes, but make sure he has your attention while he admires you.
Enthusiastic and responsive. Don’t be reluctant or hesitant, or your husband might back off. Be enthusiastic for him and respond to his admiration with obvious pleasure.
There are several positions that are particularly good for a wife to present herself to her husband. The purpose of these positions is to give your husband a good view of your body and to make your body available for his admiration and enjoyment.
Standing. Stand up straight, spread your feet shoulder-width apart, put your shoulders back, put your arms behind your back, arch your back, and hold your head up.
Kneeling. Sit on your heels with your knees spread, hands on your thighs, shoulders back, back arched, head up.
Spread-eagle. Lie on your back with your legs open and your arms over your head or at your sides. You can keep your legs flat, or lift your knees, or lift your legs up into the air depending on how good of a view you want to give your husband.
Doggy-style.On your hands and knees, with your butt facing your husband. Knees slightly apart, back arched. Keep your head up and look back at your husband over your shoulder — you’ll probably see a look of pure lust on his face.
Now that the wife is presenting herself, what can the husband do to admire her body? We’re going to copy some of the ideas from How to Admire Your Husband’s Penis and adapt them for a husband admiring his wife.
Don’t be afraid of your wife’s body. If your wife is using the ideas above, she’s presenting her body to you because she wants you to look at her and touch her. Don’t be shy. She’s inviting you in. If you hesitate or act uncomfortable she’s going to notice and feel self-conscious herself. Your boldness and eagerness for her will increase your wife’s confidence.
Explore your wife’s body. Use your eyes, hands, fingers, and mouth to explore your wife’s body. When your wife presents herself to you don’t jump straight into sex — take some time to enjoy the meal! Don’t focus exclusively on her sexual parts; show her that you admire her whole body. Go slowly. Show your admiration for her body through your touch.
Be confident and take control. Your wife is making herself vulnerable and submissive, so you need to lead the activities. Don’t be reluctant to tell her how to move or position herself, but remember that the focus is on her body, not yours! Guide her to the behavior that will help you pleasure and admire her. Try telling her what to do instead of moving her yourself — give her an opportunity to be submissive.
Admire your wife’s physicality. Tell your wife how much you love her body. Be specific: what do you like about it? Not just what parts, but what qualities? For example:
“I love the way you smell”
“I love the way you taste”
“You’re so soft and warm”
“Your breasts look amazing”
“I love the way you feel in my hands”
“I want to feel myself slide into you”
“Looking at you makes me so hard”
“I can’t help staring at you”
“I’ve been wanting to see you like this all day”
“You’re so wet, you must want something”
Tell her what you’re going to do to her sexually. Just like men, women want to be wanted. Tell your wife how much you want to make love with her, and what you want to do with her.
“I can’t wait to get my hands all over you”
“I’m going to make you scream in pleasure”
“I’m going to kiss every inch of your body”
“I’m going to eat you out till you beg me to stop”
“I’m going to explode if I can’t get inside you”
Responsiveness during sex. Admire your wife’s body while you’re having sex.
Moaning and groaning in general are sexy. Don’t act deceptively, just verbalize the pleasure you’re feeling.
“Your body feels so good against me”
“You’re so tight on me”
“You feel so good in my arms”
“I love feeling your legs wrapped around me”
“You look so sexy when you ride me”
“I’m going to explode inside you”
“I can’t wait to feel your orgasm”
Admire her body after sex. Tell your wife how much you enjoyed her body.
“Your body is amazing”
“You’re so sexy”
“I love the way you were moving”
“I love holding you while you orgasm”
“It feels so good to come inside you”
“You know just how to touch me”
“I never want to let your body go”
Whew, that’s a long post! Hopefully these ideas will help wives be open and vulnerable with their bodies, and help husbands to show admiration and love for their wives. If you’ve got any more ideas or questions, leave a comment below!
This sex activity makes the wife the center of attention, while also requiring her energy and focus to make the most of the experience. Even though the husband will be doing most of the active work, the wife will be in a position that is likely unfamiliar to her, which might make it harder for her to reach orgasm. We recommend trying this position when you have plenty of time and energy to devote to it.
(For the purposes of description we’re going to have the wife in the receiving, submissive role and the husband in the giving, dominant role — but feel free to swap roles and have the wife give pleasure to her husband instead!)
We recommend a few bondage implements to make this work, but you can improvise or omit elements that aren’t appealing to you.
Handcuffs. We like the fuzzy, comfy kind that are easy to slip off if required.
Load-bearing attachment point. You need a sturdy attachment point that’s higher than the wife’s head. A doorway chin-up bar can work, or you can screw a garage hook into a joist in your ceiling. Make sure that whatever you use is the right height and strong enough for the wife to pull on.
Vibrator. We recommend a wand vibrator for this activity, but use whatever will be most effective for the wife. This position is already challenging enough, so use her favorite vibrator!
Lube. This activity can take a while, so make sure the wife is sufficiently lubricated. Keep it handy so you can re-apply it as necessary.
Blindfold. Helps to focus the wife’s mind.
Spreader bar. Keeps the wife’s legs apart during intense stimulation.
Husband: prepare everything beforehand so your wife isn’t waiting around!
When you’re both naked and ready, here’s what to do.
Turn up the heat so the wife doesn’t get cold.
Put on some sexy music. This activity will benefit from a lack of talking, and music will help the wife attain the required frame of mind.
Cuff the wife’s hands over her head.
Connect the cuffs to your attachment point — don’t make this too high! Her shoulders will be lower than normal once her legs are spread, so ideally her cuffed hands will be right above her head.
Put her ankles in the spreader bar. This will open her up, and also begin to put some strain on her legs. Despite the picture at the top of this post, the wife shouldn’t be on her tip-toes unless she’s really up for a challenge.
Give her a kiss and put the blindfold over her eyes.
Wife: Allow yourself to relax; allow your mind to let go and focus on the sensations in your body; fall into a meditative, dissociative state; take deep breaths; try not to talk; convey your pleasure without words. Your only responsibilities are to enjoy the focused attention from your husband and to open yourself up to an orgasm.
Husband: Now that the wife is suspended and bound, it’s time to begin focusing on her pleasure. Husband, let your imagination run wild as you touch and kiss your wife. Your goal isn’t to bring her to climax as fast as possible, but rather to explore every inch of her body and lead her to an intensely pleasurable orgasm over a prolonged period of time. Here are some ideas for what you can do with her, spending one to two minutes on an activity before switching to another.
Intermittent vibration. Use the vibrator on your wife intermittently for one to two minutes at a time, and then remove it. Alternate between the vibrator and the other activities in this list. Gradually increase time with the vibrator and bring your wife to the edge of orgasm without letting her go over until you’re ready.
Kiss her all over. And don’t forget to kiss her lips!
Perform oral sex on her. With her legs spread it should be easy to reach her lady bits. You’ll probably want to focus on this before applying lube — unless you have some flavored lube!
Finger massage. Press the tips of your fingers into her skin and drag them across the surfaces of her body. Spend a while with medium finger pressure, then come back to this activity later with feather-light pressure.
Tickle her. Sexy Corte really dislikes tickling, but maybe your wife will enjoy it!
Rub her g-spot. Curl your fingers and reach inside her to stimulate her g-spot. Doing this while using the vibrator is sure to drive her crazy.
Enter her vagina with your fingers or penis. Tease the opening of her vulva and work towards deeper penetrations on subsequent visits to this activity.
Lick or tease her nipples.
Spank her. You should probably ask if she’s up for this before you surprise her with a spanking while she’s blindfolded!
Rub her thighs. Her thighs will be stressed because of her suspended position, so there will be extra blood-flow to the region; it will feel relieving and comforting if you massage her inner and outer thighs.
Play with her anus. Use a lubricated finger to stimulate her anus. (Be sure to wash your finger off before touching another part of her body with it.)
Hug her. Envelop her body in your arms. Nuzzle her neck with your face. Squeeze her tight.
Talk dirty to her. Whisper sexy fantasies into her ear. Tell her what you’re going to do to her next. Tell her what you want her to do to you. You can do this while you’re applying the vibrator as well.
Put your fingers in her mouth. Have her pretend she’s performing oral sex on your fingers.
Make her beg for an orgasm. Before you let her climax, make her beg for it. Don’t make her guess what to say — tell her what to say.
When you’re ready for your wife to orgasm you’ll both have to ascertain if she will be able to climax while standing in this position. The husband shouldn’t push her into it, but the wife should give it her best effort. If it’s just not going to happen, release the wife from the spreader bar; leave the cuffs and blindfold on, while removing the cuffs from the attachment point. Husband, guide your wife down onto the bed and into whatever position is best for her to orgasm. Do whatever you have to do to fulfill the the promise you made her body!
After you’re both done, remove all the bondage stuff and cuddle for a while. When the time is right, you can talk about what you each liked or didn’t like about the activity, and what you would change if you ever do it again.
As a final note: you can also use this activity as an element of a sexual role-playing scenario like Professor and Student or Bratty Wife. It also works well in a scenario where one of you has been “captured” as a pirate, spy, prisoner, etc.
Do you have any suggestions for other activities to do in this standing o-vation position? Leave a comment!
If you begin and end oral sex on your husband with him as hard as a rock, you’re both missing out — oral sex on a relaxed penis is an opportunity for intense pleasure and intimacy! But there’s one obvious problem, right? When a soft penis is stimulated it doesn’t stay relaxed for very long. You’ve got two options.
First, you can surprise your husband and take his penis into your mouth before he has a chance to get hard. Skip the kissing, hugging, rubbing, and whispering that might normally precede oral sex and jump straight on it before he knows what’s happening. I guarantee your husband will not object. This is a great way to kick things off, but you’ll probably only get to enjoy his soft penis for about 30 seconds, so…
The second option is to go down on your husband after he’s had an orgasm. When you’re done with sex and you’ve both climaxed, your husband is likely to be exhausted and you’ll have a longer opportunity to admire, delight, and nurture his relaxed penis. You don’t have to work hard at it, because you’re not trying to bring him to orgasm. During his refractory period your husband may start to become erect again without being ready to have another orgasm — if you continue to stimulate him slowly and gently the semi-erection may pass (and he might just fall asleep). The sensation for him will be powerfully intimate and refreshing — what a way to bless your husband with love and acceptance!
Why should you go down on your husband when he’s soft? There are a ton of benefits:
Intensity. When your husband’s penis is erect its nerves are spread out over a larger area, which dilutes the intensity of oral stimulation over a larger surface area. When his penis is soft its nerves are more tightly packed and stimulation will feel much more intense.
Take it all in. You may not be able to fit your husband’s entire erect penis in your mouth without deep-throating, but when its soft you can take it all much more easily. He will enjoy the sensation of your mouth covering his whole penis.
Feel it grow. Your husband will love the feeling as he gets hard inside your mouth, whether he’s had an orgasm already or not.
Intimacy. Men are often very goal-oriented with sex, always aiming for an orgasm. It can be difficult for a husband to appreciate and revel in the intimacy of sex apart from the orgasm, because after his penis gets soft it is banished from the area. It doesn’t have to be this way! Extend intimacy beyond your orgasms.
Relaxation. When you’ve already accomplished your goal, you can both relax and take things slow — let your minds wander while you play with each other and luxuriate in the sea of pleasure.
More sex. Eventually he’ll get hard again, so have more sex! After that his penis will really be down for the count. Probably.
So wives, what do you think about performing oral sex on your husband while he’s soft, before or after sex? Husbands, do you (or would you) enjoy it? How would it make you feel? Leave a comment below!
Since posting Podcast #008: How to Make the Most of the Size You’ve Got we’ve gotten feedback from readers who love deep penetration, and we’ve also received a few questions about positions to use for more depth. It just so happens that Sexy Corte and I have been experimenting with an edge-of-the bed position that is perfect for deep penetration, and that also creates an amazing visual experience for the husband!
The wife perches on the edge of the bed (or other raised surface) and lifts her legs up, pulling her knees towards her chest.
The husband stands facing her and enters.
This position enables extremely deep penetration by pulling the wife’s legs far out of the way and by pushing her pelvis up and forward towards the husband. You may even get deeper than in doggy style! As always with deep positions, the husband will need to be careful not to thrust too forcefully to avoid discomfort for the wife; the wife will likely find deep penetration more enjoyable if she is thoroughly aroused.
Edge-of-the-bed positions are great for a bunch of reasons!
Deep penetration. As we already mentioned, these positions enable the deepest possible penetration of any face-to-face positions.
Access to the wife’s clitoris. These positions don’t stimulate the wife’s clitoris directly, but they do provide easy access for either spouse to use their fingers, thumb, or a vibrator. The wife’s clitoris can be hard to reach in most husband-dominant positions — which makes it hard/impossible for the wife to orgasm — so this feature enables the wife to climax while the husband is in control of the action.
Great visuals of penetration. Men are very visual creatures, and edge-of-the-bed positions create an opportunity for the husband to get a good look at the action as he penetrates his wife and watch the response of her whole body when she climaxes. I find these visuals to be extremely hot, and one of the best features of these positions.
Keep cool in the summer. Sex in the hot months of the year can be sweaty and exhausting, but edge-of-the-bed positions can help you keep cool. You won’t get as hot in these positions as when you’re lying down because your bodies aren’t in full-length contact. We find it much harder to reach orgasm if we overheat.
Access to the wife’s legs and breasts. Because your bodies aren’t pressed together, the husband will have lots of access to the wife’s breasts and legs during sex. Breasts are also easily accessible during wife-on-top positions, but in most positions the wife’s legs aren’t within reach. You might both enjoy having the husband pet and rub the wife’s legs and feet during sex!
Edging marathons. Both spouses are in pretty comfortable positions — standing straight up and lying down — so you should be able to stay on the edge-of-the-bed for a while. The wife can have a relaxing, luxurious, drawn-out experience if the husband goes slowly and focuses his attention on her.
Edge-of-the-bed positions do present one significant challenge that hindered our enjoyment of them for years: what to do with the wife’s legs? There’s nowhere to rest them (since they’re hanging off the bed), and it’s tiring for the either spouse to hold them up for long periods of time. You can take turns, but you’ve also got to pay attention to the wife’s clitoris, and thrusting, etc. Here are a few ideas for keeping the wife’s legs comfortable, but you make need to juggle between them over the course of your encounter.
Husband holds wife’s ankles or knees. Great for a while, but it requires both of the husband’s hands. The wife can stimulate herself while the husband holds her legs; this might work great for you, but Sexy Corte really prefers for me to stimulate her.
Wife holds her own legs up and back. The wife pulls her thighs up to her breasts and holds her knees with her hands. This works well and provides great access for the husband, but it can become tiring for the wife and also make her feel squished or cramped after a while.
Husband leans on wife’s shins with one arm. Similar to above — the husband pushes the wife’s thighs up to her breasts, folds her knees, and then leans forward against her shins with one of his arms to hold her legs. This leaves one of his hands free, but can make the wife feel squished and also negates many of the advantages listed above because their bodies will be pressed together.
Prop the wife’s legs up with something. Theoretically you can put two tall objects on the floor near the edge of the bed for the wife to rest her spread legs/feet on and that don’t block the husband. We’ve never been able to make this work. You’d probably need some sort of birthing table.
Use a bondage strap or rope. This is the approach we just discovered, and it works pretty well as an augmentation to the other techniques described above. Use one of your bondage straps or ropes (which I’m sure you already own!) to hold the wife’s legs up. You can position the strap behind her neck or shoulders, whichever she finds the most comfortable. Both spouses can take turns holding the wife’s legs to relieve the pull of the straps when desired. For example:
Once you’ve mastered the basics, here are some more edge-of-the-bed sex positions to try out. Share some of your tips or let us know what you think in the comments below!
Based on emails we receive it seems that many wives sometimes have a difficult time reaching orgasm, which can be frustrating and demoralizing for both spouses. This difficulty can make the husband feel inadequate, and make the wife disappointed, resentful, or even angry. Don’t settle for frustration — it’s worth time and energy from both spouses to learn how to give the wife amazing orgasms!
We’ve written several posts on the topic of female orgasms:
Wow, that’s a lot of posts. I guess we take the female orgasm pretty seriously around here! You should too. If your sex life is mediocre or struggling, improving the wife’s orgasm frequency and quality certainly can’t hurt.
So then, the primary purpose of this post is to share some informative graphics with you, originally created by VoyeurOfBliss. The graphics describe various types of female orgasm and include safe anatomical diagrams that illustrate the important points. These graphics will be useful to both husbands and wives — Sexy Corte says the diagrams taught her some new things about her own body.
Click on each tiny image and a larger version will appear.
Did you learn anything new from these graphics? Do you have a tip to share? Leave a comment below!
“For years we were told, ‘Have a bubble bath, calm down, listen to relaxing music, do deep breathing exercises, chill out before sex,'” she says.
“But my research shows the opposite, that you actually want to get women in an active state.
“So, you can run around the block with your partner and get them to chase you around the block, or watch a scary movie together, ride a roller-coaster together, even a good comedy act. If you really get laughing, you’re going to have a sympathetic activation response.”
Meston is talking about the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for subconscious muscle contractions that get us ready for the flight or fight mode, like heart rate and blood pressure. She has found that if this system is activated before sex it will help women respond more intensely and more quickly.
I recall a time when Lori thought I had fallen off a cliff (I had not). We went home and had really good sex. Now I know the reason for that was the adrenaline running through her system. Likewise, this is why teenage boys used to like to take a girl to a scary movie; their chances of something sexual in the back seat of the car were much better after such a movie.
We write a lot about games, activities, and novelty on our blog because they create excitement! Wives tend to be sexually responsive and usually don’t even realize when they’re becoming aroused!
Men’s subjective ratings of arousal were in agreement with their body’s level of sexual arousal about 66 percent of the time, while women’s were in line only about 26 percent of the time.
“The general pattern that I have seen in my laboratory is that women experience a genital response but do not report feeling sexually aroused,” Chivers told LiveScience.
Husbands and wives should both ponder that statistic for a while: a woman’s body often gets aroused before her mind does, and she won’t even notice.
Do you want to kick up the intensity of your sex life? Here are a few ideas from previous posts:
For several years that most popular post on our site has been “Yes, You Should Swallow”. It is the most-viewed individual post, and even though it’s old it still attracts a lot of comments. Since most readers probably don’t read comments to old posts, I thought I’d share a few of the best comments here on the front page (all from wives).
I swallow and absolutely love it and would encourage those wives reading this who are leary of it to keep going. Yes, it took a while to get used to. But the intimacy it creates with my husband is beyond spectacular and it is something he loves doing seeing the expression on his face is indescribable. I got used to it by him finishing on my face and after a while I was able to taste it on my lips then I started letting him finish in my mouth. That is all… Jen
Just to piggie back on Jen’s posting. Getting a facial from my husband is more of a benefit for both of us. I don’t really like the taste of semen and don’t like it in my mouth. My husband finds it quite a turn on when I let him finish on my face during oral sex. I usually am the one finishing him either with my mouth or with a hand job. My husband loves watching himself drip down my face and chin. I am ok with it and don’t have to take it in my mouth. Good for those couples who enjoy this…
Not sure about most women, but I sure enjoy swallowing! For me I feel like I am doing an incomplete job to my husband if I can’t finish him in my mouth! I am used to the taste, as it is something you need to get used to. If I don’t finish my husband during oral to me that is like having intercourse and not having my hubby finish… That pleases me the most is knowing I made him do that!
Yeah, not for me… The five times I’ve chosen to suck my husbands semen depositor, I vomit, once all over him. Yes, I’ve ‘worked on’ my gag reflex to no avail, and the nausea tends to stick with me for hours afterwards. No swallowing or deep sucking for me!! It’s not a wifely duty…sex is not required of women. If a man can’t respect his wife saying ‘no’ then he has problems. Plus sex is ridiculous, ugly and gross, pregnancy is disgusting and children and creepy.
Here are a few others posts on the topic of swallowing: