This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #016: Sexual Role-Playing: Bratty Wife
Bratty: “spoiled, self-centered, and badly behaved”.
I’m blessed to have a charming, peaceful, and generous wife in Sexy Corte, and having a bratty wife (or husband!) would certainly be very unpleasant.
Proverbs 21:9 “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
And yet, there’s something sexy about the idea of “taming” a bratty wife! (Shakespeare even wrote a play about it.) This post will give you some ideas for how you can role-play as a “bratty wife” and dominant husband. Remember: role-playing is play. Both spouses should be comfortable and have fun, even though the play creates pretend conflict. (You may also enjoy posts about how to do sexual role-playing and role-playing as professor and student.)
The bratty wife scenario is fun for several reasons:
- Power exchange. There’s an interesting power dynamic between the bratty wife and her husband. The bratty wife gets to play at being self-centered, petty, rude, and teasing. She can put him off, reject his advances, dismiss him, ignore him, and generally stick her tongue out until he demands better behavior. The husband gets to react to his wife’s disrespect with assertive dominance. Rather than pulling back or trying to appease her brattiness, the husband gets to play a commanding role, pushing his bratty wife to treat him with obedience and respect.
- Letting loose. In real life we strive to treat everyone with care and respect, especially our spouses! But it can be fun to let loose with stronger, more active behavior without hurting anyone’s feelings. As long as both spouses respect each other’s boundaries (more on this later), you can play at being petty, demanding, and forceful in a way that you can’t do in normal situations.
- Clear goals. Role-playing is enhanced when both spouses understand the goals they’re working towards, and in the “bratty wife” scenario the goals are pretty easy. The husband’s goal is to obtain obedience and submission from the wife, as represented by her words and deeds. The wife’s goal is to make him work for it! The scenario ultimately ends with the wife submitting, but she has the power to decide how long it takes.
So let’s talk about boundaries! Since this role-playing scenario is based around pretend bad behavior, it’s important to understand in advance what kind of behavior could actually end up being hurtful to your spouse. Here are some guidelines.
- Don’t bring up real areas of disagreement or tension. Role-playing is a game, not a method for resolving your actual disputes. The game will quickly turn ugly if you bring up real flash points.
- Don’t insult each other. Neither spouse should insult the other — you can be spoiled, petty, rude, and commanding without being insulting. Especially avoid insulting any attribute of your spouse that you know they’re sensitive about for real!
- Don’t be mean. Being bratty or commanding doesn’t imply meanness or cruelty. Hopefully the examples below reflect that difference. The commanding husband and bratty wife love each other!
So how do you get started? It’s probably worth discussing your boundaries first — which may be short and simple, or may turn into a longer conversation. We recommend not having this talk immediately before you intend to start role-playing! Do it the day before, and then pick a time in advance to begin the game. “Bratty wife” can begin before the kids are even in bed, with whispered remarks and pouty faces. Then when you’re alone together, the husband can kick things off by saying something like: “Your behavior this evening was not acceptable.”
The game has three phases, dictated by the bratty wife’s behavior.
- Refusal. The wife refuses to obey commands until the husband “makes” her.
- Reluctance. The wife obeys direct commands without enthusiasm. The husband corrects her and shows her what he expects.
- Submission. The wife is “tamed” and drops her bratty behavior, now eager to please her husband.
The bratty wife is the star of the show; here are some things she can do and say.
- The bratty wife is “spoiled, self-centered, and badly behaved”, but not mean or cruel. She loves her husband, but is just a brat.
- Don’t simply resist everything. Submit a little, then be bratty again, then submit, then be bratty, over and over. The ultimate conclusion of the game is that you submit — but make him earn it.
- Don’t make the game into a physical fight: resist with your words and body language. The dominant husband should use his strength (gently!) to push you towards compliance; submit to his touch, but resist with your words.
- Use body language: roll your eyes, sigh, cross your arms, turn your back, walk away, stick out your tongue.
- “No.” “No way.” “Forget it.” — Phase 1, Refusal. Be dramatic and annoying. Refuse, then submit when he makes you do it.
- “But I just want to…” — You care about you. Whine about what you want.
- “I don’t want to!”
- “Do it yourself.”
- “Make me.”
- “I can’t believe you’re making me do this.” — Phase 2, Reluctance. As the game goes on, you begin to obey his direct commands, but without enthusiasm.
- Whatever he tells you to do, do it half-way; stop in the middle of a task. If it’s a sexual activity, frustrate him just as he gets aroused.
- “Yeah, yeah, I respect you.” — But don’t say it like you mean it until he makes you.
- “Oh fine, I’m sorry.”
- “Yes sir!” — Sarcastically.
- “I’m sorry I was so disrespectful.” — Phase 3, Submission. When you’re ready to turn the corner of the game, show your husband that he has tamed you.
- “You really know how to handle me.”
- “Yes, I’ll do whatever you say.”
- “What do you want me to do?”
- “How can I show you my love and respect?”
- “Deal with me however you see fit.”
- “I’ll do whatever you want.”
The husband’s behavior is consistent in all three phases of the game. Here are some things the husband can do and say.
- The husband is confident and commanding, but not unkind. He doesn’t ask, defer, or apologize — he demands respect and submission. He doesn’t cater to the wife’s feelings or appeals for fairness. He expects good behavior and submission from his wife.
- Be firm, clear, and direct. Tell your wife what you expect her to do — how you want her to demonstrate her respect and submission. Don’t give in to her whining.
- Use your hands (gently!) to encourage her submission. Position her how you want, lead her to where you want her to be. Touch her and handle her.
- “Your behavior this evening was not acceptable.”
- “I expect you to show me respect.”
- “You will apologize.”
- “Don’t roll your eyes at me.”
- “Look me in the eye when I’m talking to you.”
- “Stop talking.”
- “Don’t walk away from me until I say so.”
- “You obviously need some instruction on how to show respect to your husband.”
- “When I tell you to do something, you do it.”
- “Give me a good apology.”
- “You don’t sound very sorry to me. Try again.”
- “Show me that you mean it.”
- “Stand up.” “Sit down.” “Bring me a drink.” “Put your hair up/down.” “Go change your clothes.” — Issue arbitrary orders to test her obedience.
- “You don’t get an orgasm until I say so.”
- “If you’re going to act like a brat, then…” — Impose consequences for her behavior, like:
- “… you don’t deserve those nice clothes. Give me your pants/shirt/panties/whatever.” — Maybe she can earn them back.
- “… bend over my knee so I can spank you.”
- “… I’ve got a better use for your mouth.”
- “… hold this vibrator on yourself without climaxing, and tell me when you’re ready to apologize.”
Sex can either be part of the scenario or take place afterwards, it’s up to you.
When you’re done role-playing, talk about how it went. Have a good cuddle. Talk about your favorite parts of the scene, and stay positive. Later on, after the glow wears off, discuss anything you didn’t like and wouldn’t choose to do again. If your spouse really liked some element that wasn’t your favorite, negotiate and find some common ground that works for your marriage.
Have you played a game like this before? Are you going to try it? Leave a comment!