Three More Female Perspectives on Giving Oral Sex 1

As long-time readers know, oral sex is one of the most frequent topics that we get asked about by both husbands and wives — specifically about a wife performing oral sex on her husband. Two of the most popular posts on the topic are “Yes, You Should Swallow” and “What Do Wives Think of Swallowing Semen?” In the spirit of that second link, we thought it would be worthwhile to share a few posts from Reddit that dig deeper into women’s thoughts on performing oral sex. Unlike most of our content these posts aren’t specific to the context of marriage, but we think they provide a valuable perspective that might be helpful to our readers.

First, “Enthusiasm is KEY – blowjobs (Female perspective)”. She makes a very good point: husband, if you want more oral sex, show more enthusiasm!

So I know how most of the connections made between enthusiasm and blowjobs are aimed at women. How do you give a good blowjob? Be enthusiastic. Want it. Etc. And that’s all very valid. But it’s important to remember that male enthusiasm makes a big difference too. [snip]

One day, I decided I’d try and make him come from a blowjob, on his birthday. I was still thinking as if a good blowjob had to be earned, or be on a special day or something. Crazy how much ideas can get into your head. So I looked up tips for good blowjobs and eventually found The Blowjob Manifesto. I studied for an afternoon and then proceeded to give him The Blowjob that changed my life.

He had an orgasm, and was flabbergasted. He told me he never came from blowjobs, especially not after having some alcohol. That I’d blown his mind and that it felt amazing. During the blowjob, he’d also been moaning and making light surprised noises. I felt my ego swell up like a balloon. I felt giddy. Happy. We snuggled and went to sleep. Some time (months) after that, I realised I actually wanted to blow him. That’s when I decided “f*** the rules” (that I’d been following without second thought, about earning them or special days), I’ll just give a blowjob when I want to give one. It’s not just his, it’s also mine.

I love blowjobs now.

Second, here’s the “Blowjob Manifesto” that was mentioned in the previous link. There’s a ton of direct, practical advice here, including encouragement near the end to ask for feedback.

While reading the “What’s your #1 sex tip for the opposite sex” post, I saw a lot of guys begging women to incorporate what I believed to be basic beej technique into their blowjob routines. In response, I have created a guide to giving good head. Hopefully, my years of…extensive field research…will benefit you in some small way. [snip to the end]

A lot of people are afraid to ask for feedback at all, let alone mid-beej. But there are tons of sexy ways to get him to tell you what he likes! Ask, “Oh, you like that baby?” when trying something new. Say, “Does it feel better when I go like this…or like this?” with a coy smile on your face. Want to be dirty? Be specific, “Do you like it when I [do this move] to your cock baby?”. Also, guys just love hearing the word “cock” in general.

Third, “Giving Oral as Both a Kink and a Comfort”.

So I have a very prominent oral fixation. When I’m attracted to a man, I find extreme pleasure in giving him a blowjob/making out for hours. I could (and have) cum untouched just from how aroused I get by sucking him or kissing him. I don’t know what it is about the idea of how excited he gets, or the feel of him swelling, or just the submission of it, but I’ve often cum in sync. And when I don’t have anyone I’m sexually into, I absentmindedly chew or suck on things. I’m always snacking, drinking, sucking, chewing on my fingers, etc.

But the weird part is it’s not just a fetish for me, but like, a comfort? does anyone else experience that? I find the act of giving a blowjob soothing as well as stimulating, and I could probably easily fall asleep like that.

If any of our female readers would like to add their perspective to the discussion, please leave a comment below.

Naked Yoga 2

I love it when I can combine an ordinary activity into something sexy! A few months ago I decided to give yoga a try. It’s difficult for me to go to a class, but I was able to find lots of videos online — 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene is my favorite series. One weekend afternoon I wanted to spend time with El Fury, but also wanted to do my yoga video. Hmm, what to do? Bam! Naked yoga.

We have tried two variations on naked yoga. The first time we both got naked and did yoga together in our room, then had sex after. However, doing yoga doesn’t seem to be El Fury’s thing. The second time we tried it, I got naked and did yoga while El Fury played a game on his tablet and casually watched me. We were both aroused and had sex after. There is something very alluring about having your spouse watch you do something so intimate and vulnerable.

I like naked yoga because it feels like a form of play with your spouse. It’s important in a marriage to be able to play with one another. Play is one of the most basic human interactions, and sex can be a form of play too.
What other everyday activities can you add a sexy flavor to? Leave a comment if you have any ideas!

Oral Sex While Soft Creates  Amazing Intimacy 3

If you begin and end oral sex on your husband with him as hard as a rock, you’re both missing out — oral sex on a relaxed penis is an opportunity for intense pleasure and intimacy! But there’s one obvious problem, right? When a soft penis is stimulated it doesn’t stay relaxed for very long. You’ve got two options.

First, you can surprise your husband and take his penis into your mouth before he has a chance to get hard. Skip the kissing, hugging, rubbing, and whispering that might normally precede oral sex and jump straight on it before he knows what’s happening. I guarantee your husband will not object. This is a great way to kick things off, but you’ll probably only get to enjoy his soft penis for about 30 seconds, so…

The second option is to go down on your husband after he’s had an orgasm. When you’re done with sex and you’ve both climaxed, your husband is likely to be exhausted and you’ll have a longer opportunity to admire, delight, and nurture his relaxed penis. You don’t have to work hard at it, because you’re not trying to bring him to orgasm. During his refractory period your husband may start to become erect again without being ready to have another orgasm — if you continue to stimulate him slowly and gently the semi-erection may pass (and he might just fall asleep). The sensation for him will be powerfully intimate and refreshing — what a way to bless your husband with love and acceptance!

Why should you go down on your husband when he’s soft? There are a ton of benefits:

  • Intensity. When your husband’s penis is erect its nerves are spread out over a larger area, which dilutes the intensity of oral stimulation over a larger surface area. When his penis is soft its nerves are more tightly packed and stimulation will feel much more intense.
  • Take it all in. You may not be able to fit your husband’s entire erect penis in your mouth without deep-throating, but when its soft you can take it all much more easily. He will enjoy the sensation of your mouth covering his whole penis.
  • Feel it grow. Your husband will love the feeling as he gets hard inside your mouth, whether he’s had an orgasm already or not.
  • Intimacy. Men are often very goal-oriented with sex, always aiming for an orgasm. It can be difficult for a husband to appreciate and revel in the intimacy of sex apart from the orgasm, because after his penis gets soft it is banished from the area. It doesn’t have to be this way! Extend intimacy beyond your orgasms.
  • Relaxation. When you’ve already accomplished your goal, you can both relax and take things slow — let your minds wander while you play with each other and luxuriate in the sea of pleasure.
  • More sex. Eventually he’ll get hard again, so have more sex! After that his penis will really be down for the count. Probably.

So wives, what do you think about performing oral sex on your husband while he’s soft, before or after sex? Husbands, do you (or would you) enjoy it? How would it make you feel? Leave a comment below!

It seems like there’s a lot of interest in bondage these days, and many couples are experimenting with stuff they never would have thought of before. If you’ve never tried bondage you may be wondering what the big deal is — why would anyone want to be restrained during sex?

If this podcast is a blessing to your marriage, please leave a 5-star review and tell a friend!

Bondage for Beginners: What, Why, and How: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/mental-techniques/bondage-for-beginners-what-why-and-how/

Intro to Shibari, Japanese Rope Bondage: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/techniques/intro-to-shibari-japanese-rope-bondage/

Edging: Prolonged Stimulation for Huge Orgasms: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/mental-techniques/edging-prolonged-stimulation-for-huge-orgasms/

How To Do Sexual Role-Playing: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/mental-techniques/how-to-do-sexual-role-playing/

Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 4

Before you talk about sex, work on yourself — with your spouse or your kids.

Blackout Fellatio Technique — wife, blindfold your husband so you won’t be nervous about him watching you.

5 ways for busy wives and moms to feel more sensual — these will all work for men too!

Three great posts from The Forgiven Wife!

12 ways to make good sex even better — here are some ideas for enhancing intimacy during sex.

You can have hot sex in your marriage without it being pornographicporn didn’t invent anything.

“I hate sex, but I’m trying to like it” — great advice for a wife who is doing some hard work to develop her sexuality.

How do you stay interested in sex with your spouse over the long term? — it’s sadly common for spouses to lose interest if they don’t work to maintain it.

Give him signal — wife, you can be more interesting than the internet or any other woman your husband sees.

Noticing is not lustinglust is a deliberate act.

What Do Wives Think of Swallowing Semen? 5

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #005: Yes, You Should Swallow

For several years that most popular post on our site has been “Yes, You Should Swallow”. It is the most-viewed individual post, and even though it’s old it still attracts a lot of comments. Since most readers probably don’t read comments to old posts, I thought I’d share a few of the best comments here on the front page (all from wives).

Bonnie from Love, Marriage and Sex left the first comment:

Thanks for the reference! Great post and nice to hear from the male perspective. Definitely agree that wives should try to learn to enjoy swallowing during oral sex.

Jen offers a tip:

I swallow and absolutely love it and would encourage those wives reading this who are leary of it to keep going. Yes, it took a while to get used to. But the intimacy it creates with my husband is beyond spectacular and it is something he loves doing seeing the expression on his face is indescribable. I got used to it by him finishing on my face and after a while I was able to taste it on my lips then I started letting him finish in my mouth. That is all… Jen

Michelle agrees with Jen’s approach:

Just to piggie back on Jen’s posting. Getting a facial from my husband is more of a benefit for both of us. I don’t really like the taste of semen and don’t like it in my mouth. My husband finds it quite a turn on when I let him finish on my face during oral sex. I usually am the one finishing him either with my mouth or with a hand job. My husband loves watching himself drip down my face and chin. I am ok with it and don’t have to take it in my mouth. Good for those couples who enjoy this…

Mia takes pleasure in giving pleasure:

Not sure about most women, but I sure enjoy swallowing! For me I feel like I am doing an incomplete job to my husband if I can’t finish him in my mouth! I am used to the taste, as it is something you need to get used to. If I don’t finish my husband during oral to me that is like having intercourse and not having my hubby finish… That pleases me the most is knowing I made him do that!

Nicole says swallowing is an acquired taste:

I absolutely love swallowing! My husband loves seeing his semen drip out of my mouth and drip down my chin. I must say though it is definitely an acquired taste and may be hard to get used to.

But not every wife likes the post…

Emma really doesn’t like semen:

I’ve attempted swallowing on several occasions. And ended up vomiting every single time. Thankfully we were in the shower each time.

Most women don’t find the taste enjoyable and only do it to please their husband. I find oral in general unbearable, and the thought of swallowing makes me physically ill.

Then again, I dislike sexual fluids in general and refuse to have sex without a condom.

This entire article is absurd in so many aspects that I don’t know where to start.

Ellie doesn’t seem to like sex much at all:

Yeah, not for me…
The five times I’ve chosen to suck my husbands semen depositor, I vomit, once all over him. Yes, I’ve ‘worked on’ my gag reflex to no avail, and the nausea tends to stick with me for hours afterwards. No swallowing or deep sucking for me!! It’s not a wifely duty…sex is not required of women. If a man can’t respect his wife saying ‘no’ then he has problems. Plus sex is ridiculous, ugly and gross, pregnancy is disgusting and children and creepy.

Here are a few others posts on the topic of swallowing:

What do you think? If you leave a comment on this post people will definitely read it!

Get (and Give) a Better View of the Action 6

A lot of readers come here looking for something new to do in bed, but their spouses may not be up for trying bondage or sexy games quite yet. Well, here’s an idea that might add a new twist to your comfortable sex routine without being too “out there”: position your bodies to get (and give) a better view of the penetration. Why is this fun?

  • Husbands especially are visual creatures, and we like to watch — I’m sure some wives do, too! It’s not only highly arousing to look at your spouse’s parts during sex, but it also gives you an opportunity to watch how his or her whole body reacts to stimulation.
  • Moving bodies around gives the husband an opportunity to take control, and gives the wife an opportunity to be submissive.
  • Showing yourself off is an opportunity for vulnerability, which builds intimacy.
  • Even small changes in position create a sense of novelty — but don’t sweat it if you need to fall back on your “standard” position to actually reach orgasm.

So how do you do it? Here are a few tips.

  • Turn on the lights. You can’t watch if you can’t see.
  • Spread her legs. In a face-to-face position, the husband can grab his wife’s knees (which may normally gripped tightly around his waist) and spread them open as far as they’ll go. This may make the wife feel vulnerable and exposed, but isn’t that exciting? Don’t be shy.
  • Perpendicular bodies. Keep your torsos at a right angle instead of pressing together. It’s less intimate, but unless you have x-ray vision it’s the only way to see the action. Positions like doggy style (arch your back) or wife-on-top can be good, especially for the husband to see the penetration. The wife can also lay on her back near the edge of the bed while the husband stands on the floor.
  • Take it slow. You’ll see more if you move slowly, and shallow thrusts will keep space between your bodies and maintain line-of-sight.
  • Oral sex. Mouths and fingers are hot to penetrate and penetrate with, and often easier to see.
  • Mirrors. If the wife wants to see much, you may want to use a mirror (or two). Sexy Corte isn’t as visual as I am, so we haven’t tried this.
  • Take a picture. We haven’t done this either — make sure to lock your phone.

Do you like to watch yourselves have sex? Leave your best tips in the comments.

Yes, You Should Swallow 7

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This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #005: Yes, You Should Swallow

All Christian sex bloggers eventually get around to the question: should a wife swallow her husband’s semen? As usual, the answer is “if she wants to”. Well that’s fine… no one should be coerced into doing anything against her will… but I’m going to go a bit farther for wives and claim that you should cultivate a desire to swallow.

Why? Well, let’s get inside your husband’s head for a minute. As I’ve written before, we men like to mark our territory — and depositing his semen into your body is one of the primary ways your husband marks you. If you reject his semen, you’re rejecting him as your mate and as the potential father of your children. Even though it’s your mouth, refusing to swallow is basically the same as insisting that your husband wear a condom when you have intercourse.

On the flip side, when you do swallow, you create intimacy between you and your husband. You demonstrate love and acceptance on a very primal level that goes beyond words. If you want to drive your husband crazy don’t just suck him off — dive into him like a woman lost in the desert who has just spotted an oasis. Not like you have to swallow, but like you crave him and will die if he doesn’t shoot himself down your throat right now.

And finally: God himself describes the passion of oral sex better than I ever could.

As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
    so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
    and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Bonnie Wallace says that semen is the perfect food for a wife. [Update: Bonnie’s blog no longer exists.]

In addition, it also has some great mind-altering effects.  It boosts melatonin, which helps you sleep, and oxytocin, which increases affection and boosts your mood.  You know how they say that breast milk is the most perfect food for an infant?  Well, semen is a pretty darn close comparison for the perfect sex food for a wife.

She also gives some helpful tips on how to swallow:

Ok, I’m not going to say that it is easy to swallow the first time you try to do it.  Depending on how often you have sex, a LOT may come out down there.  I’ll admit that my technique initially was to try to get it all in my mouth then swallow all at once to “get it over with” and that usually ended up making a really big mess.  Instead, it works better to drink it like a water fountain, swallowing and drawing more into your mouth at the same time.  Granted, there still may be too much to get it all, but it works a lot better this way than the other.

Since this topic generates a lot of email for us, let me also point you to these related posts:

Have Sex Before Your Date Instead of After 8

Date nights are essential for intimacy and connection, especially after you have kids. It’s fun to go out to dinner, see a movie, go for a hike, or do an escape room — and it can be just as fun (and even more relaxing) to have a stay-date at home after the kids are in bed. However you do it, date nights are great!

One of the things we’ve realized over the past several years is that we really don’t like staying up late. No matter how late we’re out, those darn kids wake up at the same time every day! In fact, by the time we get home from a date at 10 or 11 we’re pretty wiped out. Sex takes energy, even after a romantic, intimate evening together. But after a date with your spouse you’re supposed to have sex, right? It feels anticlimactic to just crawl into bed and go to sleep.

Fortunately there’s a simple solution: have sex before you go on your date. It can be right before you leave, during nap time in the afternoon, or in the morning before the kids come knocking —  give each other an orgasm to kick-off your date right! Here are some advantages to having sex before your date:

  • Oxytocin: Orgasms get your bonding hormones flowing, which will jump-start intimacy for your date.
  • No pressure: There won’t be any pressure to make sex the capstone of your date when you get home late. We find that it’s especially hard for Sexy Corte to summon up the energy for an orgasm late at night, no matter how great a time we’re having. Time of day has a big impact on many wives, and it doesn’t always line up with date night.
  • Lingering arousal: Date nights are a great opportunity to talk positively about your sex life together — what you like, what you want to try, how it feels when your spouse touches you just — like — that. If you have sex before your date, the lingering arousal can fuel your conversation. It’s hot to look at your spouse across the restaurant table and know that you just rocked their world!
  • Mementos: You can carry a memento of your recent sex with you on your date. For example: a secret hickey or lingerie. It’s a huge turn-on for me just knowing that my semen is still inside Sexy Corte when we go out. We’ve also talked about the idea of me finishing on her body and SC wearing it under her clothes, but we haven’t done it yet.

The downside of having sex before your date is that you lose some of the angsty build-up, but hey, there’s no rule that you can’t have sex again after! (Or during.)

So when do you have sex on date night? I’m sure we’re not the only ones who are tired when we get home!

"How Do I Get My Wife To" / "How Do I Get My Husband To" 9

Google’s autocomplete function gives us some insight into what husbands and wives want from each other. The prompts in the pictures below reflect the most common things that people search for based on the words that are already entered. When you go to Google and start typing “how do I get my wife to” here’s what Google prompts you with.

"How Do I Get My Wife To" / "How Do I Get My Husband To" 10

Except for “lose weight” and “shut up”, all these suggestions indicate that husbands long for deeper intimacy with their wives. To be honest, based on emails from our readers, I thought the suggestions would all be about oral or anal sex! Are you surprised?

When you start typing “how do I get my husband to” Google leads you to:

"How Do I Get My Wife To" / "How Do I Get My Husband To" 11

The suggestions for wives are more diverse. “Stop drinking” and “stop cheating on me” certainly reflect two of the most harmful behaviors for marriage. “Leave” is just very sad. “Dominate me” is surprising as the only sexual topic to make the list — I would have expected something like “give me more orgasms”. The rest are very similar to what husbands want: deeper intimacy, attention, and love.

A few of these suggestions may seem amusing, but they reflect heartfelt pleas for help from a husband or wife, thrown into the ether, hoping for an answer from the the faceless, anonymous internet. There’s some good information on the internet (like here!) but there’s one resource that’s even better: prayer. If you’ve found our website via a search like the ones above, we encourage you to bring your need to God, who can actually do something about it. He wants you to have a great marriage and a great sex life with your spouse! I wonder what an “autocomplete” for prayer would look like?

If you have any other “how do I get my wife/husband to” questions, leave them in the comments!