Treat Your Spouse with a Sex Menu 1

Create a “sex menu” to treat your spouse to a special night that really hits the spot. Your spouse will love having a bunch of delicious activities to choose from, and you’ll both be able to enjoy the anticipation all day if you share the menu in advance.

Your menu should include four courses:

  • Appetizer: I’m sure you know what kind of foreplay your spouse enjoys, so put a few of his or her favorites on the menu for the opening course.
  • Entree: The entree is the main event of the evening: it can be a favorite sex position, a game, a role-playing scenario, or whatever you want to offer your spouse.
  • Her Dessert: If Sexy Corte wants an orgasm then she always has hers before I have mine. If you’re like us, then the first dessert selection should be tailored to the wife’s orgasmic needs (unless she doesn’t choose to have one). If the wife is creating the menu as a treat for her husband, it can be especially sweet to offer to let him choose how she comes. The menu can include toys, positions, or even orgasmic vocalizations.
  • His Dessert: What better way to end your sexual meal than with the husband’s orgasm? Of course there’s the question of how he wants to come and in what position, but he can also be offered a selection of places to ejaculate: her mouth, vagina, body, butt, or whatever she’s up for offering.

Consider including a Daily Special — this should be something that… well… you aren’t eager to do every day but that is available now for a limited time only.

As for the menu itself, there are a ton of options.

  • Text or email: A wonderful distraction to receive at work.
  • Printed menu: Turn the menu into a craft and create a souvenir for your spouse — and a prop that you can use again in the future.
  • Write on your body: This option might be the most sensual: write the course selections all around your body for your spouse to find and consider.

Wives may also consider “How to Present Your Body to Your Husband For His Admiration” to play up the sexy-server angle. If you’re lucky, your husband might give you more than just a tip!

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New Year's Sexolutions 2

Happy New Year! New Years is a time of looking back and looking forward, resembling a cycle of death and rebirth. The old year has come to an end. The new year stretches ahead of us like a field of possibility. A lot of people make resolutions. There is hope for change, for something new, for something better. I think it is the potential that is the most exciting. When God created us with free will He gave us the ability to shape our futures. What an incredible gift! El Fury and I take New Years as an opportunity to discuss the past and future in an effort to enhance the present. We look at the past year and discuss what we are thankful for, what we could improve upon, and what went really great. Then we look forward and discuss our goals, how we want to grow, what we want to do. As you are making your resolutions, make sure to set goals with your spouse. Include some sexy goals!

Have a discussion with your spouse to help you shape what your sexolutions can be:

  • If both of us have the sex life that we dream of, what does that look like?
  • When we look back at the end of 2024 and thinking, we had a great sex life, what were the things that happened to make that true?
  • What did we feel to make that true?
  • What did we do to make that true?
  • What did we avoid to make that true?
  • What are the things we should start? Stop? Continue?
  • What would you be willing to give up this year to have an awesome sex life? Is that time? Alcohol? Sleeping in?
  • What would you be willing to change about yourself? Look inward, specifically about yourself. Don’t ask what the other person could change.

In your discussion, focus on being positive, forward looking. This isn’t the time for the airing of grievances. You are shaping your future with your spouse, make it exciting and joyful.

Here is a list of sexolutions that you can try with your spouse in 2024:

  • Have 1 more orgasm per week than what you are already having. This might require some effort. You might have to get up a little earlier. You might have to muster up the desire. If anything is worth putting effort into, it’s your marriage. You will never regret having an orgasm with your spouse!
  • Introduce novelty into your sex life. Try one of the games on our site. Try having each of you write down 6 ideas and draw them randomly once a month through the year.
  • Date. Go out. Pick a frequency. Once a month, once a week, once a quarter. Ask a babysitter to commit to a regular time.
  • Have sex outside once this year.
  • Have sex in a different room of your house.
  • Have sex at a different time of day.
  • Try a different style of music during sex.
  • At least once this year try something that is outside of your comfort zone.
  • Talk about your sex life with your spouse. Most of the questions we get on our site would be solved with communication. The more you talk about sex with your spouse the easier it gets.

Be specific. Try not to just say ‘have more’ or ‘do less’. If your goals are more specific you are more likely to achieve them. Write them down. Set reminders to check them. We pray that when 2025 begins you can look back on 2024 and be able to confidently say that it was one sexy year.

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Decorate Your Bodies for Christmas 3

Celebrate Christmas by adorning your spouse’s body with sexy and seasonal decorations! In a comment on “The Origin or Spanksgiving” wife Lucy wrote:

I would love more posts about how to play around with spanking as foreplay – specifically, I appreciate how you often present it as a way you’re appreciating your wife’s body and enjoying sensations together; it doesn’t have to be about punishing or embarrassing someone. I get people are into that, but for me I just get excited by the fact my husband especially likes handling that part of my body. I don’t need to play out that this is some kind of discipline to enjoy him being stronger and eager to grab me.

Sexy Corte and I aren’t particularly into “punishment” play, but I sure do like her butt. So this Christmas season I’ve been using markers to decorate her butt with festive drawings and messages such as:

  • Christmas trees, lights, and decorations
  • “Merry Christmas!”
  • “Naughty and nice”
  • “Who wants cookies?”

Here are a few ideas for spicing up your decoration experience:

  • Draw while having sex in doggy style or jockey position.
  • Have the wife guess what was drawn on her butt (or vice versa if the husband was the canvas)
  • Draw long-lasting elements with sharpies, and augment them daily with washable markers. For example, draw a Christmas tree with a sharpie, and then add new ornaments every day with washable colored markers.
  • Keep a tally of your sexual accomplishments, for example: number of orgasms for each spouse, list of positions you’ve done, or a bucket list to check off as you do it.
  • Write out the lyrics to your favorite Christmas carol and sing-along together.
  • Flash the decorations as required to create a festive holiday food.

If you’ve got any other ideas for decorating your bodies for Christmas, share them in the comments!

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Visual and Mental Attraction 4

The video seems to be targeted at men and the thumbnail says “UNDERWEAR” over the image of a beautiful woman —  so is that visual or mental stimulation?

In A Little Wager we wrote about a bet between me and Sexy Corte, and if I win she has to show me he breasts every time she comes into my office. I look forward to winning the bet and collecting my visual stimulation as payment, but the mere prospect of winning the bet has provided me with months of mental stimulation already.

As for Sexy Corte, my impression is that if she’s not already aroused then she’s most likely to be stimulated through touch.

What about you and your spouse? How are you each most apt to be stimulated?

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"She's dirty and amenable" -- Sexual Fantasies About Your Spouse 5

Having sexual fantasies about your spouse is great, and sharing your fantasies with each other is a good way to deepen your sexual relationship.

Earlier this week Sexy Corte was on her period and going out with the kids for a playdate with some of their friends. She joked, “I know what you’ll be doing while I’m gone”. An evening with the house to myself?!

Me: “Playing video games.”

Her: “And jerking off.”

She was right, of course, and when she came home she asked about my fantasies.

Me: “Fantasy Sexy Corte is always home with me, and always eager to please!”

Her: “Oh yeah? And what exactly does Fantasy Sexy Corte do, hmmmm?”

Me: “She’s dirty and amenable.”

Now, Sexy Corte is very open minded and agreeable, so this isn’t a knock on her at all. But Fantasy Sexy Corte will give me an hour-long blowjob while I play video games. Sharing these fantasies with Sexy Corte is a fun way to expand our sexual conversation, and every real sex act we do starts in one of our minds as a fantasy.

Your spouse should be the focus of your sexual energy, in “real life” and in your fantasies. Be as open as you can when sharing your fantasies with your spouse, and when your spouse shares with you be sure to listen without judgement or offense.

Do you share your sexual fantasies with your spouse? If so, how do those conversations go?

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Favorite Gift of 2022: Sexy Coupon Book 6

My favorite Christmas gift this year was a sexy coupon book from Sexy Corte. The booklet has 27 coupons, including three blanks. One of my goals for 2023 is to use all the coupons before the end of the year!

I used the first coupon last night for a baby oil massage. I’ve never been oiled-up all over my body before, and it was a pretty luxurious feeling. Sexy Corte oiled herself first — which was fun to watch — and then oiled me by rubbing her body all over mine — no hands allowed. When we were both dangerously slippery we had sex and then took a bubble bath together. 10/10 — would recommend.

What makes a coupon book such a great gift?

  • Anticipation. It’s like telling your spouse, “look at all the sexy things I’ve got in store for you!” Every coupon is something fun to look forward to.
  • Potential. The three blank coupons are full of potential! It’s fun just to imagine what I might want to write on there. There are only three coupons, but I can think of 100 things I could write. It’s like I’ve got three wishes from my own sexy genie!
  • Initiative. I love that Sexy Corte took the initiative to give me the coupons, and thereby gave me “permission” to take initiative and use the coupons when I want to. Even without the coupons I could have asked her to do any of these things, but now I feel confident asking for them because she has intentionally given me this power.

You can find dozens of sexy coupon books on Etsy and elsewhere, or you can make your own! If you’re having trouble thinking of ideas, ask your spouse what he or she wants, browse our blog, or use the random sex adventure generator.

(The image for this post is from the SNL skit “Dick in a Box”.)

Have you ever given or received a sexual coupon book? What was your experience with it?

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"I know how you think. You like to summon me." 7

After I wrote the post Write Your Sexual To-Do List On Your Spouse’s Body Sexy Corte recognized something. She said, “I know how you think. You like to summon me.” She’s right.

Since then, we’ve been playing with this idea a bit. The thought of having Sexy Corte at my beck-and-call really turns me on, but she’s a very busy lady and highly conscientious. She doesn’t want to drop what she’s doing to fool around at my whim.

Here are some things that have worked for us. You can obviously reverse all these tips if the wife is summoning the husband. Remember: this is playful and should be enjoyable for both spouses.

  • Discuss in advance. If I’m interested in playing this game during the day I’ll float it with Sexy Corte in the morning. If she’s in a playful and happy mood, then great; if she has a frantic or frustrating day ahead of her, then nope. You can’t read each others’ minds, so you need to communicate.
  • Set clear expectations. “Come down to my office” is pretty vague. Without some context Sexy Corte might come downstairs to review bills or put away groceries rather than to fool around. “Come to my office and show me your boobs” is more direct and clear.
  • Be flexible. It might be fun to playfully summon your wife immediately, but if your wife is highly conscientious then interrupting her while she’s busy will dampen her libido. Try something like, “Come to my office when you’ve completed your current project” or “Come to my office when you have five minutes to fool around” might work better.
  • Be responsive. When the wife receives the message she should acknowledge it and provide an estimated time of arrival. “Yes sir! I’ll be there in 20 minutes” or “I’m sorry sir, I just got called away. Let’s try tomorrow.” (The “sir” makes the game more fun for me, but do whatever works for you!)

Do you ever summon your spouse for sexy fun? What works for you? Leave a comment and share.

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Write Your Sexual To-Do List On Your Spouse's Body 8

If you want to make sure to remember your sexy plans, write your to-do list on your spouse’s body!

Last week I texted to ask Sexy Corte to come down to my office so we could talk about our to-do list. She came down eagerly, because she’s extremely conscientious and loves organizing. Then I bent her over my desk, pulled down her panties, and wrote “fuck me harder sir!” on her butt. I didn’t tell her what I’d written, and it turned me on like crazy to know that the first thing she did when she went upstairs was to check herself out in a mirror.

Later that night we made sure to get our to-do list done, and seeing my writing on my wife’s skin during doggy-style was an incredible feeling. Sexy Corte repeated back to me what what I’d written, and a very conscientious and fulfilling time was had by all.

Here are some more ideas for using your spouse’s body as a sexy to-do list. Make sure to use non-toxic markers!

  • Checkboxes for foreplay. Draw five empty squares on your wife’s breasts, above your husband’s manhood, or wherever you’re inclined. Throughout the day take time to lick your spouse and check off a box each time you do.
  • Secret messages. Write a secret message on a part of your spouse’s body that your spouse will struggle to find or read. Quiz your spouse later to to make sure he or she figured it out.
  • Achievements. The wife can draw a line on her husband’s manhood to show how far she can take him into her mouth. You could also write check-marks or timestamps on your spouse’s body each time he or she has an orgasm.
  • Timestamps. Whenever you see any of your spouse’s interesting body parts, write down the current time on the part you see.
  • Places. If you have sex in an unusual place, write the time and place on an (in)appropriate part of your spouse.

Do you have any other ideas for using your spouse’s body as a to-do list? Leave a comment and let us know what you think!

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Role-Playing: Sultan and Harem Girl 9

Several wives have written in asking for more role-playing scenarios with dialogue — “GS” asks:

Your Student-Teacher role-playing post was really helpful for thinking up motives and dialogue. I’ve been trying to come up with more role-playing ideas, but I struggle to think of what to say and have a hard time getting out of my own head. Do you think you’ll ever do more role-playing posts?

Ask and you shall receive!

(If you haven’t read the how-to do sexual role-playing post yet, you might want to start there. Don’t worry… it’s normal to feel a little silly and awkward at first!)

The set-up: The Harem Girl desperately wants to join the harem, and the Sultan is trying to decide if she’s good enough.

You can use Esther 2:1-18 for inspiration if you want, and here are a few pieces of artwork that may stimulate your imagination.

For this scenario we’re going to assume that the husband is playing the Sultan and the wife is playing the Harem Girl. Feel free to reverse the roles if you want! (There were Sultanas.) It’s also important to remember that role-playing is play. Both spouses should be comfortable and have fun, even though the play puts them in roles of power and submission. This is a pretty challenging scenario because of the power dynamics, so if it makes you uncomfortable you might want to try out an easier scenario first.

The Sultan and Harem Girl scenario is fun for several reasons:

  • Power exchange. The power dynamic between the Sultan and the Harem Girl is fun to experiment with but can be intense. Instead of being equals, the Harem Girl (temporarily, for the purposes of fun) gives up her power in the encounter and submits to the Sultan’s royal authority. The Harem Girl gets to play at being shy, nervous, reluctant, vulnerable, but eager for the Sultan’s approval. The Sultan gets to play at using his power and authority to command the Harem Girl and evaluate her performance. The power disparity is enormous and might make some couples uncomfortable, so you should discuss it in advance.
  • Unfamiliar emotional hooks. Unlike many of the other role-playing scenarios we’ve written about, the emotional hooks in this scenario are likely to be pretty foreign. The Sultan may be ambivalent or negative at first — why should he take this girl into his harem? What’s so special about her? The Harem Girl needs to join the harem so she’s willing to perform for the Sultan and work for his approval. Neither of these roles is likely to be similar to anything you’ve experienced in real life, which makes this scenario pretty challenging. Because of this challenge, it may be smart to use a safe word to indicate when the role-playing needs to back off or stop altogether.
  • Clear goals. The roles may be unfamiliar, but at least the goals are simple. The Sultan must decide whether or not to admit this new girl to his harem, and the Harem Girl desperately wants the answer to be yes. One potential complication is that a no from the Sultan is likely to ruin the whole experience, so both spouses need to work together to get to yes.

Here’s a note the Sultan can send to the Harem Girl in advance to set things up:

On behalf of Sultan El Fury, Sovereign of The Sublime House of Fury, Sultan-of-Sultans, Khan of Khans, Commander of the Faithful, Custodian of the Holy Cities, Emperor of the Steppes and Seas and Islands, with their castles and cities, and all the dependencies and borders, along with many other countries and peoples,

To Miss Sexy Corte,

You are hereby commanded to attend His Imperial Majesty this evening at eight-o-clock to be considered for admittance into the Imperial Harem. You will appear in your finest perfumes, lotions, jewelry, and cosmetics and you will wear your finest clothing. Do not disappoint His Imperial Majesty, and do not be late.

[sealed with the Imperial Seal]

Each spouse should complete their preparations before the designated start time. Potential props to prepare in advance:

  • Jewelry. The Sultan and the Harem Girl can both get decked out in jewelry, real or costume. See the lists below for specific ideas.
  • Music. Pick out an Arabian Nights-style playlist that the Harem Girl can dance to.
  • Lube, vibrator, washcloth. All the usual tools and toys.

Here are some tips for the Sultan and ideas for things he can say.

  • Dress like a king. Get cleaned up and wear your best clothes.
  • Jewelry. The Sultan can have a crown, a ring, a scepter, a cape, and even a sword. It’s impossible to go too far when you’re the ruler of the known world.
  • Throne. Sit in chair on top of a coffee table to elevate yourself over the aspiring Harem Girl.
  • Attitude. You’re the king of the world, and you get what you want. You could choose to be aloof or negative towards the Harem Girl at first, but holding that attitude very long is likely to be frustrating for the Harem Girl — set expectations in advance. Sooner or later you’ll definitely want to warm up to the Harem Girl and gradually grow entranced by her grace and beauty.
  • “You may rise.” “I have heard stories about your beauty, but I see that the reality exceeds even my imagination.”
  • “You look so nervous. Tell me what you want from me.”
  • “You are beautiful. Dance for me.”
  • “Turn around, let me look at you.” “What are you best features?”
  • “Take off your clothes, but leave your jewelry on.” “Show your body to me.” “Show me everything, don’t be shy.”
  • “Why do you want to join my harem?” — The correct answer, of course, is “To please Your Imperial Majesty”.
  • “How will you serve me?” “What will you do to please me?”
  • “Tell me about your sexual abilities.” “What are you best at?” “How will you give me pleasure?”
  • “If you want to join my harem you must show me that you can…” — what is the most important ability for a harem girl?
  • “Tell me about your sexual pleasure.” “What arouses you?” “Tell me about your orgasms.”
  • “What is your favorite position?” “How do you like to be taken?”
  • “Show me how you like to be touched.” “Touch yourself while we talk.” — feel free to use lube or a vibrator if desired.
  • “Put your finger inside yourself and show me how wet you are.”
  • “Are you a good girl, or a bad girl?” “Good girls are always to eager to please, but bad girls are fun to bring into line.” — which do you prefer?
  • “Show me how deep you can take it.” “Show me how long you can go for.”
  • “When you’re close to orgasm you may beg me for permission to come.” “You must never have an orgasm unless I’m inside you.”
  • “Don’t waste a drop.” “Use your mouth to clean me off.”
  • “You’ve done well. I will see you again soon.”

Here are some tips for the Harem Girl and some ideas for things she can say.

  • Dress like a princess. Make yourself up and wear your sexiest clothes. Lingerie and perfume can be great. Shave.
  • Jewelry. The Harem Girl can wear a princess-style crown and rings, and can also wear necklaces, arm bands, necklaces, and bracelets. The Harem Girl is from nobility herself and should look the part.
  • Attitude. You’re a princess or a noble and you’re used to getting what you want, but now you’re in desperate need. You have never met the Sultan, but you know he’s a powerful man with powerful libido. He expects his harem girls to work hard and do whatever it takes to please him. You aren’t exactly sure what that might entail, but you’ve got to succeed and win his favor.
  • When you approach the Sultan’s throne you must kneel with your head to the floor until he gives you permission to stand. Address the Sultan as “Your Imperial Majesty” or, less formally, “my lord”.
  • “I humbly beg to join Your Imperial Majesty’s harem.”
  • Why do you want to join the harem? — “I know that my family has disappointed Your Imperial Majesty in the frontier war, and I hope for an opportunity to somehow earn back my lord’s favor for my family.” — The details probably aren’t too important.
  • “I am eager to serve Your Imperial Majesty however I can.”
  • “Is my lord pleased by my appearance?” “What can I show my lord?”
  • “My lord, I am very proficient at…” — what sexual acts are you best at?
  • “My lord, I am eager for you to take me in…” — what position? In what way?
  • “My lord, my orgasms are best when…” — what? How?
  • “My lord, I am a good girl. Please give me an order and let me show you.”
  • “My lord, despite my best effort I am often a bad girl. I hope that I can learn to obey my lord if I am properly disciplined.”
  • “My orgasms belong to my lord.” “My lord’s servant will never come without my lord’s permission.”
  • “My lord’s servant humbly thanks His Imperial Majesty for her orgasm.” “Thank you, my lord, for receiving me this evening.”
  • And just to wrap things up, finish with another kneeling bow.

Afterwards, break the scene and leave your roles. The game is over (for now), so go back to being your normal selves. Have a good cuddle. Talk about your favorite parts of the scene, and stay positive. Later on, after the glow wears off, discuss anything you didn’t like and wouldn’t choose to do again. If your spouse really liked some element that wasn’t your favorite, negotiate and compromise and find the common ground that works for your marriage.

Have you ever role-played with your spouse in a scenario with this much power exchange? Do you enjoy it? Did it make you uncomfortable? Leave a comment!

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Lingerie Fashion Show and Role-Playing 14

We’ve had house-guests for several days and my wife Sexy Corte has been working hard to host them; I took them to the airport very early this morning, and Sexy Corte told me that if I could do it without waking her up she’d do something “special” for me — how could I refuse an offer like that? Thusly motivated, I got our guests to the airport, sent a kid off to school, and then slipped back into bed to cuddle Sexy Corte like a ninja.

So here’s what I’m planning for our special event: a lingerie fashion show! Here are some ideas for how you can do this yourselves. The role-playing elements are optional!

This activity will require some preparation:

  • Pick a time that the wife is feeling sexy and confident with her body. This probably isn’t the best activity for right after a big meal or when recovering from an illness. You can track her cycle and plan for an evening when she’s near ovulation and likely to be at peak arousal.
  • The wife should select three to five outfits to try on. These can be lingerie, or anything she feels sexy in. The husband can pick some clothes for her also if he’s confident in what she’ll like! The husband should lay out the clothing before the activity begins so it’s ready to use.
  • The husband should wear something the wife likes him in, which for us means I’ll wear a suit or sports coat.
  • Prepare the space with low light, thumpy music, and a chair for the husband.
  • Gather whatever lube, vibrators, washcloths, and other toys you’ll need.

Scenario:

  • The wife is a lingerie Model.
  • The husband is a fashion show Director, photographer, lingerie purchaser, or some other role that leads him to direct the attire and behavior of the model.
  • The core activity of the scenario is the Model trying on various outfits while the Director watches and directs her.
  • The Director and Model can tease and stimulate each other during the show, and have sex when they just hold off any longer!

Here are some things the Model can do or say:

  • The Model’s attitude can be played in many different ways depending on your inclination. You can be shy, confident, desperate for work, eager to make a sale, chaste, or less-then-chaste.
  • Even if you’re playing shy, the Model should show off her body for the Director. You’re trying to get the job or make the sale, so you should proactively display yourself and your lingerie. Invite him to “try out” the lingerie while you’re wearing it by touching your body and teasing you.
  • Take your time getting dressed and undressed. You’ll be changing clothes several times, so have fun with it.
  • “What do you want me to try on first?”
  • “Can you help me take this off?” / “Can you help me put this on?”
  • “Do you like how I look from behind?” / “from the front?”
  • “How do you want me to stand?” / “Do you want me to kneel down?” / “Do you want me to bend over?”
  • “Do you want a closer look?”
  • Let go of your inhibitions! No one has a perfect body, but your husband thinks you’re beautiful — that’s why he wants you to model lingerie for him!

Here are some things the Director can do or say:

  • The Director’s attitude should be confident. Know what you want. Are you evaluating the Model before offering a job, or considering which lingerie to buy, or something else? Be goal-oriented and direct the Model in a way that helps you make your decision.
  • Stay fully clothed for most of the scenario, until it’s necessary for you to remove something “for testing purposes”. For example, you may need to remove your pants in order to test how accessible the Model’s body is in the lingerie.
  • “Beautiful”, “perfect”, “lovely”, “magnificent”, “graceful” — praise the Model’s beauty and physical performance. Say these things frequently throughout the show, and never be critical or demeaning. The Model is making herself physically and visually vulnerable, so be sure to praise and affirm her.
  • “Stand up”, “sit down”, “kneel”, “lie down” — tell the Model how to position her body.
  • Use your hands on the Model to position her exactly how you want. Explore her body while you’re “evaluating” each outfit.
  • Tell the Model when to change clothes.
  • “Spread your legs”, “bend over”, “get on all fours”, “arch your back” — put the Model into sexually revealing positions, with or without clothes. You’ve got to get a good look at this lingerie from every angle!

When you can’t stand the sexiness anymore, have sex! Talk about your favorite parts of the activity, and stay positive. What did you especially enjoy? Was there anything you wouldn’t choose to do again?

If you like this idea, here are a few related posts that you might enjoy:

Leave a comment and let us know how you make the most of your lingerie!

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