Dr. Cindy M. Meston from the University of Texas at Austin explains that the key to female sexual arousal is excitement, not relaxation.
“For years we were told, ‘Have a bubble bath, calm down, listen to relaxing music, do deep breathing exercises, chill out before sex,'” she says.
“But my research shows the opposite, that you actually want to get women in an active state.
“So, you can run around the block with your partner and get them to chase you around the block, or watch a scary movie together, ride a roller-coaster together, even a good comedy act. If you really get laughing, you’re going to have a sympathetic activation response.”
Meston is talking about the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for subconscious muscle contractions that get us ready for the flight or fight mode, like heart rate and blood pressure. She has found that if this system is activated before sex it will help women respond more intensely and more quickly.
Paul Byerly at The XY Code has a great story about excitement:
I recall a time when Lori thought I had fallen off a cliff (I had not). We went home and had really good sex. Now I know the reason for that was the adrenaline running through her system. Likewise, this is why teenage boys used to like to take a girl to a scary movie; their chances of something sexual in the back seat of the car were much better after such a movie.
We write a lot about games, activities, and novelty on our blog because they create excitement! Wives tend to be sexually responsive and usually don’t even realize when they’re becoming aroused!
Men’s subjective ratings of arousal were in agreement with their body’s level of sexual arousal about 66 percent of the time, while women’s were in line only about 26 percent of the time.
“The general pattern that I have seen in my laboratory is that women experience a genital response but do not report feeling sexually aroused,” Chivers told LiveScience.
Husbands and wives should both ponder that statistic for a while: a woman’s body often gets aroused before her mind does, and she won’t even notice.
Do you want to kick up the intensity of your sex life? Here are a few ideas from previous posts:
- Bondage: Bondage for Beginners: What, Why, and How?, Intro to Shibari, Japanese Rope Bondage
- Role-playing: Professor and Student, Bratty Wife
- Physical sex games: Sexy Body Part Twister, Sock Wrestling, Naked Marco Polo
- Exercise: Boosts Sperm Quality, Get Some Sun, Have Better Sex, Do You Even Lift?
- How to Spank Your Wife
How do you get your sympathetic nervous system revved up? Leave a comment and let us know!