Do You Even Lift?

Do You Even Lift? 1

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #011: Fitness and Hygiene Advice for Husbands

Alright husbands, let’s talk about basic fitness. Did you let yourself blimp up after you got married? Shame on you! Or, like me, have you always struggled to be a little more fit? I’m blessed that Sexy Corte and I love to run, and we’ve managed to keep in the habit of running several times a week together (even pushing a ton of kids in strollers). Running or some some form of aerobic exercise is great, and I highly recommend it; it’s even better if you can do it with your spouse and kids. Aerobic exercise is great for everyone, so go do it.

(For other posts with advice for husbands, check out Husbandly Hygiene and Basic Male Fashion.)

However, in this post I want to talk about lifting weights. Women can lift and enjoy the benefits of stronger bones and muscles, but weight-bearing exercise is essential for men’s health. I’m by no means an expert on lifting, but I can share with you some basics: and basics are the key. All the new-fangled stuff is basically junk: P90X, CrossFit, “core strengthening”, “boot camps”, etc. It’s not that these are bad, but they over-complicate things. You don’t need an expensive gym membership either.

What do you need?

  1. Starting Strength, by Mark Rippetoe
  2. Barbells, dumbbells, weight bench, weight plates. Used sets can often be found cheaply on Craigslist. Put them in any open 50 square feet of your house.
  3. 20 minutes per day, a few times per week. You won’t get ripped with this minimal schedule, but you’ll get a lot stronger.


I recommend the book, but you can get the high-level ideas from here. You can easily use the internet to find articles by Mark Rippetoe and diagrams that illustrate how to properly perform the lifts he prescribes. (So you have some homework.)

Like I said up top, aerobic exercise is great, but men need to big and strong. If you follow some of this simple advice it won’t take long for your wife to notice and admire your muscles. You don’t need to be Adonis, you just want to improve yourself. If you aren’t lifting at all now you’ll see rapid strength gain when you start, which is great for your confidence. Of course your progress will plateau and improvement will get harder over time (like anything), but there’s a ton of low-hanging fruit that even a lazy man can grasp.

What does lifting have to do with sex? If you can’t figure out how size, strength, endurance, confidence, energy, and appearance will improve your sex life then I don’t think I can help you.

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  1. It’s really amazing how in only a month of consistent lifting you can see improvement. Add some healthy eating to it and go at that for 90 days and you will see a new person in the mirror. If you are a woman who has body image issues and they are putting a damper on your libido and desire, do healthy eating, a dab of aerobic and a lot of lifting for 90 days and watch your interest in sex soar. You have to feel like you are sexy to develop more than a passing interest in sex and not be content with none or masturbation as a substitute. Even a 30-50% improvement in image can increase desire.

  2. I think it’s also worth repeating that weight lifting is an important complement to aerobic exercise. If you do lots of aerobic exercise (like running or swimming) you may think that’s “enough” for health, but you’re missing out on an important component. Weight bearing exercise strengthens muscles and bones, improves balance, improves endurance, etc.

  3. I’m 56yo and happily married for 31 years. I’ve always been bigger and stronger than the average guy but a couple years ago I decided to take up serious powerlifting. Two years later I can bench press 350lbs and deadlift 450lbs and the gut is completely gone. While our sex life had always good, now it’s off the charts. But the best part is my wife takes every chance she has to feel my arms. Big muscles obviously do the trick. It even helps when my wife sees other women touch my arm and say “wow”. Plus lifting raising your testosterone and makes you feel like a beast. Lift, bro – it’ll drive your wife wild.

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