Q&A: How Do I Get My Wife to Swallow and Enjoy It?

Q&A: How Do I Get My Wife to Swallow and Enjoy It? 1

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #005: Yes, You Should Swallow

Since we posted on the topic of jaw pain during oral sex we’ve received a flood of questions with a similar theme, from both husbands and wives:

  • How do I get my wife to swallow?
  • How do I learn to enjoy swallowing my husband’s semen?

If your sex life with your spouse is otherwise good, the issue with swallowing semen might come down to communication. After El Fury told me how much it meant to him that I would swallow his semen, I figured I at least needed to try it — it’s already in my mouth anyways, so there’s just one more step! It was a little strange the first time I did it, but over time it got a lot easier. Husband, be open and honest with your wife about how important it is to you, and ask if she will at least try it a few times. If your wife has a hard time with it and does it anyway, you would be wise to express how much it means to you. If she gives it an honest effort but still doesn’t want to swallow, you might have to let it go. You don’t want to put so much pressure on her that she becomes reluctant to do oral sex altogether.

Wives: if you want to learn to enjoy it, you have the right intention at heart. My hope is that that desire is all you will need to overcome your difficulty swallowing. But, what are some more practical tips?

My first bit of advice is to at least try it. You might have a mental block simply at the thought of it. I remember how strange it felt the first time El Fury asked me to swallow. After a few times it became familiar and really wasn’t a big deal anymore. I actually thought it was easier than holding it in my mouth and rushing to the bathroom to spit it out right after.

Second, keep in mind that this could be an issue that is near and dear to your husband’s heart, so you really should have an open mind and give it a try.

Third, if you make up your mind to do it, then just do it. Don’t think about it when he ejaculates, just swallow it fast. You should be able to tell right before he comes, so be ready. If you still can’t get past it after a few attempts, your husband should be understanding and at least appreciate that you tried to like it. There are so many fun sexual experiences to have with your spouse that we shouldn’t get hung up on one issue.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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  1. I tell my women clients that this is highly desired by both men and makes them feel more loved
    and pampered. I also tell them that semen and vaginal secretions taste remarkably similar.

    For most women the complaint is taste and consistency. There is a very easy way to avoid
    both: stop trying to use your tongue to stop it and instead let him ejaculate in the back of your
    mouth. All your taste buds are on the front of your tongue and not on the back. If you let
    him ejaculate in the back of your mouth it is simply a quick swallow and it is all gone, NO
    TASTE OR CONSISTENCY issues to deal with

    1. Great tips! Most men enjoy more depth as well.

      But, it also feels good to orgasm while your wife’s tongue is rubbing the bottom of the head of the penis, and even to see the semen before she swallows it. Maybe that’s more “advanced” technique.

    2. Marriage coach. Semen and vaginal fluid are remarkably the same. You nailed it! That’s why if a man is putting his mouth in his wife’s vag fluid then she should not have an issue with swallowing. Otherwise she is imposing double standards.

      1. He was thrilled! :) It was an amazing way to bond- more than I could have imagined. You guys are awesome- don’t stop writing!!

  2. Ladies, think of the thoughts you put into your husband’s mind when you act, or say something derogatory about his semen. Whether it be taste, texture, or temperature, anything you say is an insult and slam to his sexual ego. Men act tough but inside, we’re all just a bunch of candy-ass pansies, especially when it comes to our sexual prowess.

    Think of it another way. If your husband regularly goes down on you, does he complain about your flavor, temperature, or texture? If so, you both need to stop. Heather tries to stop me sometimes because she hasn’t showered or cleaned herself for a few days. Mostly I pause and let her wash up. Other time, no way. I’m going in and she’s gonna like it. :)

    I have to say, ladies, the first go round in Heather’s nethers were anything but tasty. I did what I did and continued because I knew she loved it. It’s about the only way she orgasms anymore so I continue. Her flavor has grown on me over the years, and I believe if you’re committed, the problems you have will go away as well. Don’t think about you. Think about the amount of pleasure you’re giving him.

    Swallow your pride … see what I did there … and give it a go, even if you’ve tried before. Keep trying. Have a great attitude about it, even if you have to fake that attitude for a bit. I had to fake for a few years myself. Now I can’t wait to get down there.

  3. I’ve been running a poll for ladies on the topic of giving oral sex and swallowing. Here are some of the results:

    As a percentage of total love making, how often do you perform oral sex on your hubby?
    Answer Votes Percent
    Frequently 85 38.1 %
    Often 27 12.1 %
    Sometimes 46 20.6 %
    Seldom 36 16.1 %
    Never 29 13 %

    How often do you bring your hubby to climax through Oral?
    Frequently 50 22.4 %
    Often 41 18.4 %
    Sometimes 44 19.7 %
    Seldom 26 11.7 %
    Never 62 27.8 %

    Do you Swallow?
    Yes 101 45.3 %
    No 91 40.8 %
    I’m a Spitter 8 3.6 %
    I prefer it on my Face, Breasts, or other Places 23 10.3 %

    If you don’t Swallow, why not?
    I don’t like the Flavor 29 13.4 %
    I don’t like the Texture 28 13 %
    I don’t like the Temperature 9 4.2 %
    It’s Gross 44 20.4 %
    Gag Reflex 24 11.1 %
    NONE 63 29.2 %
    He hasn’t allowed himself to climax for me to swallow 8 3.7 %
    Morally wrong 4 1.9 %
    I have an allergic reaction: itchy, irritated throat 2 0.9 %
    If he’s recently smoked his pipe, the taste is terrible 1 0.5 %
    He doesn’t like it 2 0.9 %
    It burns my throat if I swallow 1 0.5 %
    I don’t do it to him. 1 0.5 %

    Does your hubby perform Oral Sex on you?
    Yes 142 89.3 %
    No 17 10.7 %

    How often?
    Frequently 61 38.9 %
    Often 37 23.6 %
    Sometimes 28 17.8 %
    Seldom 18 11.5 %
    Never 13 8.3 %

    Some of the ladies left comments.

    “It should be a 2 way street. If he enjoys it he should return the favor”

    “My husband enjoys oral sex but he says he doesn’t need it all the time. He loves intercourse more, and oral is just nice for variety. I only orgasm with oral, so he performs it more often on me.”

    “If he wanted to do it to me I think I would enjoy it, but since it seems like he thinks it’s not appealing I can’t get in the mood to ask him to do it.”

    “I answered I seldom bring him to climax, but only if he has a flavored condom on.”

    “I cum hard from him going down on me. It’s amazing. Then he always mounts me and gives it to me hard until he explodes inside me.”

    “love it! eat it up! haha”

    “I wish he learn how to finger me and eat it at thd same time.”

    “I enjoy doing this for him because it means so much to him”

    “I love him licking my pussy.”

    Come on over and take the poll ladies. http://www.marriedheat.com/ladies-oral-sex/

    1. I tried to format that but it didn’t work. Sorry. If you click the link, you can take the poll. When you submit, the results will display.

      One last thing. I mentioned attitude. I have always enjoyed a good BJ. When it came to cumming in Heather’s mouth, I would tell her I wanted to. She was always either reluctant, or warily alright with it. She would ask me, “Do you want to cum in my mouth?” Well, knowing that she didn’t like it, I would always answer “No.”

      A variation in your language makes a HUGE difference. Instead of “Do you want to …” change it to, “Honey, I want you to cum in my mouth” or “Mmmm your cum is so sweet. I can’t wait for you to shoot it down my throat.”

      I’m getting hard just thinking about Heather saying saying those things while she bobs up and down on my member.

      ATTITUDE DETERMINES ALTITUDE! Always remember that.

  4. Good article. We quite agree that the wife ought to try swallowing a few times. If she really cannot handle it, then the husband needs to be understanding and not press the issue. Swallowing semen becomes easier for most wives with a little experience. I think for most husbands the more important thing is being able to release in his wife’s mouth. Swallowing is a nice extra to that.

    1. I agree… Having a wife take it willingly in her mouth is important. Swallowing is really not necessary but adds a little extra wow to the experience for sure!

      1. I agree that the wife should swallow. My wife swallowed me while dating and stopped a few years into our marriage. I’ve become upset that she ignores my feelings and disregard my needs. After 22 years of marriage, I’m considering a girlfriend and potentially exiting our marriage now that our kids are grown. I’ve tried for years to bring it back but it is a control issue for her. Women – please protect your marriage by not ignoring your man’s needs.

        1. Hi Johnny,

          It’s clear that you’re upset. It’s God’s will for you to have the best possible sex life with your spouse. Rather than leaving your wife, we encourage you to be in prayer and to work hard to develop your relationship with your wife. Of course this will require willingness on both your parts.



        2. That is a relevant question. Most often the problem is that the wife will not accept the finish in her mouth or she won’t swallow. But, this is somewhat curious in that a wife did swallow for a few years early in her marriage, and then stopped. I would think that she ought to have explained this change back at the time.

          But, it is not clear from Johnny’s comment whether his wife simply stopped swallowing and continued to accept his finish in her mouth, or if she stopped all together allowing him to ejaculate inside her mouth. If the former, that would not be as insensitive as the latter. The latter possibility would be a major and harmful change for the sexual intimacy in their marriage.

  5. My wife and I have been married for 35 years, and we are now 55. My wife was abused as a teenager by an older cousin for a few months one summer while he was staying with them. He forced her to give him oral sex multiple times and she was too embarrassed and scared to say anything. This of course was brought into our marriage and affected our sex life. I was extremely sympathetic and have never asked her for oral sex, though she has made an effort over the years to try. We are just now getting to a place where we are openly talking about mutual masturbation, and I am hopeful that this might lead to her being more interested in oral sex as well. For anyone dealing with past abuse, please be respectful to what he/she has gone through.

    1. Absolutely! It’s so great that you’re able to communicate about this situation. I just prayed that God will glorify himself through your marriage and sex life.

    2. If she doesn’t ever reach the point of wanting to give you oral sex, I know that you will love and respect her all the same and NEVER pressure her. She must feel safe with you. Oral sex is not necessary especially from an abuse victim.

  6. My wife is a strict Catholic who believes that all ejaculations must have the “possibility of life”–so they have to occur inside her, not in her mouth or her hand (or my hand). This has taken some getting used to on my part (including sticking to a Natural Family Planning calendar). But what has helped is that she is an enthusiastic cocksucker and likes to edge me repeatedly (bringing me right to the brink and then backing off). When I am ready to explode, I enter her as quickly as possible and she does Kegels in rhythm with my thrusts until I burst. I find this so enjoyable that I barely miss coming in her mouth.

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