Podcast #011: Fitness and Hygiene Advice for Husbands

Husbands, if you want your wife to be more enthusiastic about sex then it’s important to maintain proper hygiene and basic physical fitness, and we’re going to give you some very practical tips in both of these areas.

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Do You Even Lift?: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/information/do-you-even-lift/

Husbandly Hygiene: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/information/husbandly-hygiene/

The 4-Week Beginner’s Guide to Building a Stronger, More Muscular Physique: https://www.muscleandfitness.com/workouts/workout-routines/4-week-beginners-guide-building-stronger-more-muscular-physique

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  1. I was glad you mentioned running, and running together/at the same time with the kids. This is something that’s been helpful for our family for years, and as it gets cooler the next few months, I’m expecting my wife to get out a lot more.

    However, I don’t know if me getting ripped would do much for my wife. My upper body could use some work, but my lower body has always been extremely muscular, but my wife has never really complimented it. I’ve even had (100% heterosexual) guys comment on my leg muscles, which aren’t hugely bulky but are incredibly toned. Just doesn’t seem to be my wife’s thing.

    On the other hand, hearing the podcast reminded me that a few weeks ago my wife (of 12 yr) and I talked about the pubic hair of both of us. I have never done anything with mine and was rather surprised to hear her say, when asked, that she would prefer me to trim it short just like she does hers (on the rare occasion when she does trim). I know I prefer her that way, though don’t request it, and she seemed more desiring of me that way than I am of her that way. So after the podcast, I decided to do the trim without telling her I was going to. I actually had to point it out that night (lower light levels and us both on our backs). She laughed at first but started exploring and pretty quickly said “It makes your c*** look bigger”, so definitely a win! The next day, we showered together and the first thing she said was that she loved my new look. I also think it’s motivated her to do a trim, which she hasn’t done for close to a year, and I think she’s more willing to accept oral when trimmed. :-)

    Many thanks for helping push me onto this path.


    1. That’s awesome! Isn’t it amazing that even after a good number of years we can still learn new things to enhance our marriages? We get emails from people who have been married for many decades who are inspired to try something new, and turn out to love it.

      As for your wife’s potential reaction to your upper body, you might be surprised. Studies show that women respond to upper-body muscle differently from leg muscle. Check these posts out:



      1. I think you may be onto something with the upper body. A week or two ago, we were answering questions in an article we were reading. One was to tell your spouse (by touching them) what part of their body you like most. Ended up being my upper back, which I was shocked by. She said she liked that as well as the broad shoulders and my butt. After seeing your comment today, I brought her answer up and asked about my legs and she made it clear that my legs don’t do much for her. Overall, it’s kind of depressing because my pecks/arms/upper back are merely average and she can get that view of most guys who have any sort of fitness.

        As for learning new things after 12 years, that’s sort of intentional. About two months ago, I decided to really start pursuing renewed intimacy with my wife. We’d been coasting/drifting for so long, probably at least 6 years. It was evident in our sex life, as we’d basically gotten to the point of only doing PIV, and even that was just missionary when she was tired and doggy when she wasn’t. We used to be much more varied and did plenty of oral, though probably pretty vanilla by many people’s standards. She gave up on pursuing her own pleasure and trying to have an orgasm years ago, even if she never told me.

        It’s a long, slow road back, but I think we’re getting there. Very tough when she’s only ~7 months postpartum (fourth and final one) and just finished up breastfeeding. Your site and others have been a new fountain of information for me when I didn’t know where to turn (and pretty much all non-Christian sources of information are garbage on these topics).

        Thanks again,


        1. It’s really gratifying to hear that our site is helpful to you and your wife! We’ve got a bunch of kids too, and the pregnant/nursing/baby phase of life is especially hard on the wife. It’s so draining, and it’s not shocking that your sex life may have waned during those years. But it doesn’t have to stay that way! Please share our site with a friend if you’re able :)

          If you aren’t working out your upper body, it won’t take long to see improvement.

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