Lingerie Fashion Show and Role-Playing 1

We’ve had house-guests for several days and my wife Sexy Corte has been working hard to host them; I took them to the airport very early this morning, and Sexy Corte told me that if I could do it without waking her up she’d do something “special” for me — how could I refuse an offer like that? Thusly motivated, I got our guests to the airport, sent a kid off to school, and then slipped back into bed to cuddle Sexy Corte like a ninja.

So here’s what I’m planning for our special event: a lingerie fashion show! Here are some ideas for how you can do this yourselves. The role-playing elements are optional!

This activity will require some preparation:

  • Pick a time that the wife is feeling sexy and confident with her body. This probably isn’t the best activity for right after a big meal or when recovering from an illness. You can track her cycle and plan for an evening when she’s near ovulation and likely to be at peak arousal.
  • The wife should select three to five outfits to try on. These can be lingerie, or anything she feels sexy in. The husband can pick some clothes for her also if he’s confident in what she’ll like! The husband should lay out the clothing before the activity begins so it’s ready to use.
  • The husband should wear something the wife likes him in, which for us means I’ll wear a suit or sports coat.
  • Prepare the space with low light, thumpy music, and a chair for the husband.
  • Gather whatever lube, vibrators, washcloths, and other toys you’ll need.

Scenario:

  • The wife is a lingerie Model.
  • The husband is a fashion show Director, photographer, lingerie purchaser, or some other role that leads him to direct the attire and behavior of the model.
  • The core activity of the scenario is the Model trying on various outfits while the Director watches and directs her.
  • The Director and Model can tease and stimulate each other during the show, and have sex when they just hold off any longer!

Here are some things the Model can do or say:

  • The Model’s attitude can be played in many different ways depending on your inclination. You can be shy, confident, desperate for work, eager to make a sale, chaste, or less-then-chaste.
  • Even if you’re playing shy, the Model should show off her body for the Director. You’re trying to get the job or make the sale, so you should proactively display yourself and your lingerie. Invite him to “try out” the lingerie while you’re wearing it by touching your body and teasing you.
  • Take your time getting dressed and undressed. You’ll be changing clothes several times, so have fun with it.
  • “What do you want me to try on first?”
  • “Can you help me take this off?” / “Can you help me put this on?”
  • “Do you like how I look from behind?” / “from the front?”
  • “How do you want me to stand?” / “Do you want me to kneel down?” / “Do you want me to bend over?”
  • “Do you want a closer look?”
  • Let go of your inhibitions! No one has a perfect body, but your husband thinks you’re beautiful — that’s why he wants you to model lingerie for him!

Here are some things the Director can do or say:

  • The Director’s attitude should be confident. Know what you want. Are you evaluating the Model before offering a job, or considering which lingerie to buy, or something else? Be goal-oriented and direct the Model in a way that helps you make your decision.
  • Stay fully clothed for most of the scenario, until it’s necessary for you to remove something “for testing purposes”. For example, you may need to remove your pants in order to test how accessible the Model’s body is in the lingerie.
  • “Beautiful”, “perfect”, “lovely”, “magnificent”, “graceful” — praise the Model’s beauty and physical performance. Say these things frequently throughout the show, and never be critical or demeaning. The Model is making herself physically and visually vulnerable, so be sure to praise and affirm her.
  • “Stand up”, “sit down”, “kneel”, “lie down” — tell the Model how to position her body.
  • Use your hands on the Model to position her exactly how you want. Explore her body while you’re “evaluating” each outfit.
  • Tell the Model when to change clothes.
  • “Spread your legs”, “bend over”, “get on all fours”, “arch your back” — put the Model into sexually revealing positions, with or without clothes. You’ve got to get a good look at this lingerie from every angle!

When you can’t stand the sexiness anymore, have sex! Talk about your favorite parts of the activity, and stay positive. What did you especially enjoy? Was there anything you wouldn’t choose to do again?

If you like this idea, here are a few related posts that you might enjoy:

Leave a comment and let us know how you make the most of your lingerie!

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"Genie in a Bottle" Game -- Rub Me the Right Way 2

The “Genie in a Bottle” game is inspired by the Christina Aguilera song by the same name, whose lyrics include:

If you wanna be with me baby there’s a price to pay
I’m a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me
I can make your wish come true
You gotta make a big impression
Gotta like what you do

The premise of the game is simple:

  1. The husband rubs his wife’s lamp “the right way”.
  2. The wife grants her husband three wishes.

(Of course, the game works just as well if the wife rubs her husband’s lamp, and the husband grants his wife three wishes!)

Here are a few suggestions for making the game as fun as possible.

  • The wishes should be generally proportional to the rubbing that earned them — probably something like two sexy favors and one orgasm. The genie shouldn’t be stingy, and the wisher shouldn’t annoy or impose. Communicate!
  • The wishes should be sexual — don’t wish for your husband to do the dishes.
  • The wishes don’t need to be requested all at once, and the wisher can carry the lamp around to summon the genie when desired.
  • Use a magic lamp prop ($10 on Amazon) to signal to your spouse that you want to play — invite the wisher to rub it and summon the genie.
  • Set the mood with a genie costume, lingerie, jewelry, makeup, music, and incense.
  • Wisher says, “Genie, I wish for you to XYZ!”
  • Genie says, “Your wish is my command, Master!”

Got any tips for making the game more fun? Leave a comment and share your ideas!

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Sexy Scavenger Hunt 3

Are you looking for a fun gift idea for your spouse? Surprise them with a sexy scavenger hunt! I recently created this for El Fury’s Christmas present, but it can work for birthdays or any other occasion you want to make your spouse feel loved. I will describe what I did, but there are endless variations, so make it your own and tailor it to your spouse’s interests.

The preparation required three steps. First, I ordered a three gifts to make the scavenger hunt an experience — Bailey’s Irish Cream, lingerie, and a book of sexy games. Second, I wrote some riddles whose solutions would direct El Fury around the house looking for these gifts. Third, on the day of the hunt I hid the gifts and the clues around the house while El Fury was distracted. At the last moment before we left for dinner I set the first clue on the counter so he would see it right away when we got home.

The first clue explained the rules and directed El Fury to the first present, the bottle of Bailey’s. He took the hint and we poured ourselves a tasty beverage to enjoy for the rest of the hunt. I made sure to alternate gifts with sexy acts, and the second riddle led El Fury to remove his pants so I could perform oral on him for a few minutes while he sipped his Bailey’s. The third riddle led him to the sexy lingerie, and he enjoyed watching me put it on right away. Make sure that you’re building arousal as your sexy scavenger hunt proceeds! The fourth clue directed us to engage in three minutes of foreplay, which was pretty easy since I was wearing lingerie and he had no pants on. Riddle number five led us upstairs where El Fury (eventually) found the book of sex games. We picked a game to play, made love, and then finished off the scavenger hunt with a special dessert.

El Fury was very excited to go on a sexy scavenger hunt, and felt loved that I had put thought into creating a sexy experience for us. He especially loves when I pre-meditate our intimate times together because he knows that I’m thinking about him in that way. Has anyone else tried a sexy scavenger hunt? Do you have have ideas to add?

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Sex Q&A: Is It Ok to Cross-Dress for Fun? 4

Reader “FR” asks:

What is your opinion on a guy wearing feminine lingerie to spice things up in the bedroom, just for the shock factor, or for some good laughs? And just for one night, being a Damsel in distress?

I have no interest in changing my sexual identity, I am very glad that God made me as a man. I just thought about doing this just for fun, to break away from the same-old-same-old, and to liven things up in the bedroom. To me, this is similar to my teenage son dressing up as a girl for last Halloween, and he is about as masculine as they come… but if this is wrong in the eyes of God, then the last thing I would want to do is to offend him.

I’ll answer this in three parts: what the Bible says, how to apply what the Bible says, and what El Fury thinks.

First, I’m only aware of one verse in the Bible that directly talks about cross-dressing:

Deuteronomy 22:5, “A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.”

I linked the word “abomination” to its definition in the Hebrew so that you can see how strong it is. This verse is pretty easy to interpret, and you’ll notice that it is very culturally grounded: God isn’t specifying the type of clothing allowed for either sex, He’s saying that he expects men and women to adhere to the cultural norms for their sexes. The following New Testament passage is interpreted similarly:

1 Corinthians 11:14-16, “Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God.”

Despite the invocation of “nature itself”, the last sentence in the passage makes it clear that the instructions about hair-length for men and women are based on the common practice of the time. The Bible instructs us to follow the clothing and style customs for our sex.

Moving into the second part of my answer, there’s a broad theme throughout the Bible that God created men and women to be different and distinct, and He doesn’t like it when we muddle things up. The instructions about clothing and hair are culturally dependent, and the way we apply these instructions depends on the culture we live in. Consider the passage from 1 Corinthians: it’s not accurate to insist that all married women should have long hair in the modern world, because that’s not how our culture demonstrates a wife’s submission to her husband. The key issue Paul is addressing is wifely submission, not hair length, and in the broad Mediterranean culture of the early church long hair was a symbol of that submission.

Therefore, the general application is that men and women, husbands and wives, should adhere to their distinct roles and display the outward signs of those roles as appropriate for their culture. Does this mean that cross-gender Halloween costumes are sinful? Or that a husband wearing lingerie is sinful?  I will not presume to condemn anyone based on my extrapolation from the Bible — each person should pray and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. However, my opinion is that the scriptural guidance is pretty  clear on this matter, and you’d do best to steer clear of cross-gender clothing, style, and behavior.

Which brings us to the third part of my answer: El Fury’s opinion. I personally wouldn’t dress or act in a feminine manner to make my wife laugh, especially in a sexual situation. Sure, it may be funny, but the essence of the joke is the husband emasculating himself. That’s not an experience I want to put in my wife’s mind. I want her to see me as strong, masculine, loving, kind, and sexy — and humor that undercuts that image is ultimately destructive to our marriage. It may get a laugh for a minute, and then stick in her mind for decades.

Being able to laugh and play together in a sexual setting is a great boon for your marriage, but husbands, your wife should never have any confusion about your intent to sex her up real good.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email service like Mailinator.

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The Five Love Languages and Sex 5

This post is also available as a podcast dialogue: Podcast #019: Dialogue: The Five Love Languages and Sex

Sexy Corte and I are fans of Gary Chapman’s book “The 5 Love Languages”. We first read the book when we were engaged, and we’ve frequently discussed the ideas in the book in the years since. We’ve gotten a lot of value from the concept of love languages both in our marriage and as we’ve been raising our children.

For those who aren’t familiar with the idea, it’s basically this: each person has a primary love language that they use to both give and receive love. If you learn a person’s love language, you’ll be better able to show him your love and recognize when he is showing love to you. We can learn to give and receive love in languages other than our primary language, if we put some effort into it. The give love languages that Chapman identifies are:

  • Words of affirmation.
  • Acts of service.
  • Receiving gifts.
  • Physical touch. (Not primarily sexual.)
  • Quality time.

(Side note: your love language is also probably the language you use to hurt someone else, and it’s the language that can hurt you the most. This is especially important to recognize when dealing with your spouse and children.)

So what does this have to do with sex? If you want to please your spouse sexually, do it in her love language! This is probably most applicable during foreplay, but the major themes can be carried through a whole sexual encounter. If you want to turn your spouse on in her love language, here are some ideas.

  • Words of affirmation. Talk dirty to her. Tell her how much you love her and want her. Tell her how sexy she is and what you want to do with her body. Tell him how big his penis is, how you can’t wait to feel it inside you. Tell him how your body quivers when he touches you. Pass him secret messages all day to build anticipation for the night. Use words to build up your spouse and communicate your passion and desire.
  • Acts of service. Ask your husband how he wants to make love tonight — tell him you’re up for anything. Tell him your body is his, he just has to take it. Offer him his favorite activity without being asked. Tell your wife that you want to focus on her pleasure tonight. Ask her how she wants to warm up and how she wants to orgasm. Add some sexuality to otherwise mundane acts of service, like a topless haircut. Let your spouse know that you want to use your body for their pleasure — how can I please you?
  • Receiving gifts. Give your wife a sneak peak of the new toy that just came in the mail. Tell your husband that you bought him a present — and you’re already wearing it under your clothes. Surprise your spouse with a sexy picture of yourself or a new lovemaking music mix. Give your husband the remote control for your vibrator when you arrive at the restaurant. Give your spouse something erotic that tells them you’ve been thinking of them.
  • Physical touch. Give your wife a massage — start clothed and gradually improve the situation. Take a bath or shower together and wash each other. Rub your hips against your husband as you kiss him when he gets home from work. Sit on his lap and spread your legs, take his hand and put it on your inner thigh. When you can tell he’s getting turned on, rub his erection through his pants and smile. Grab your wife by the hips when you kiss her.  Touch her hair, neck, lower back, and hip bones. Slip your fingers under her clothes. Spank her butt when she walks by. Hold hands. Make out. Let your hands linger a little longer than usual.
  • Quality time. This one may be the easiest, because you can do any of the things above and invest time to make it an activity with your spouse. Be alone together in your sex room. Make time to have sex in different places, and different ways. Plan an elaborate sex scenario. Do some edging.Tell your wife a sexy story. Play with your husband while you watch TV. Play a sex game together. The important thing is to set aside all your other responsibilities and give your spouse your devoted time and attention.

As you read through this list, if one of the bullets really hit home with you and you thought “yes, this is exactly what I want my spouse to do!”, then tell your spouse! It’s also important to recognize that your spouse’s love language will probably be different than your own. Discover what language your spouse uses, and then make an effort to show love in that language. Our natural inclination is to show love in our language, but then we get frustrated when our spouse doesn’t appreciate it as much as we think they should.

For a recent special occasion Sexy Corte wore some amazing lingerie while she prepared a fantastic steak dinner, and it was about the hottest thing ever. My love language is acts of service; SC always takes great care of me, but there was something super-erotic about watching her perform a mundane, domestic task like cooking while wearing her come-f-me garter belt and teasing me relentlessly.

If you take the time to learn your spouse’s primary love language you’ll be surprised at how much it helps your communication, and your sex life. What about you? How do you and your spouse use your love languages to enhance your sex life? Leave a comment!

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Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 6

If you know of something else I need to link to, leave a comment or shoot me a message!

Is Make Up Sex Real? — Yes, you can repair small arguments with sex.

Holiday Refuge — In the chaos of the holidays, make you master bedroom (i.e., your sex room) a refuge.

Sexual Fantasy – Her Secret Sin? — If you’re having trouble staying “in the moment” while having sex, my suggestion is to intentionally increase your responsiveness.

Clitoral Slapping — This is new to us. Try it and let us know what you think!

Slippery When Wet: Lubricant Review, and More Lubricants — Lubes for every situation.

Is Your Husband the Sexiest Man Alive? — Your spouse is your standard of beauty.

Bow-Dazzle! — My favorite holiday sex tip? Christmas elf lingerie.

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