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We’ve had house-guests for several days and my wife Sexy Corte has been working hard to host them; I took them to the airport very early this morning, and Sexy Corte told me that if I could do it without waking her up she’d do something “special” for me — how could I refuse an offer like that? Thusly motivated, I got our guests to the airport, sent a kid off to school, and then slipped back into bed to cuddle Sexy Corte like a ninja.

So here’s what I’m planning for our special event: a lingerie fashion show! Here are some ideas for how you can do this yourselves. The role-playing elements are optional!

This activity will require some preparation:

  • Pick a time that the wife is feeling sexy and confident with her body. This probably isn’t the best activity for right after a big meal or when recovering from an illness. You can track her cycle and plan for an evening when she’s near ovulation and likely to be at peak arousal.
  • The wife should select three to five outfits to try on. These can be lingerie, or anything she feels sexy in. The husband can pick some clothes for her also if he’s confident in what she’ll like! The husband should lay out the clothing before the activity begins so it’s ready to use.
  • The husband should wear something the wife likes him in, which for us means I’ll wear a suit or sports coat.
  • Prepare the space with low light, thumpy music, and a chair for the husband.
  • Gather whatever lube, vibrators, washcloths, and other toys you’ll need.

Scenario:

  • The wife is a lingerie Model.
  • The husband is a fashion show Director, photographer, lingerie purchaser, or some other role that leads him to direct the attire and behavior of the model.
  • The core activity of the scenario is the Model trying on various outfits while the Director watches and directs her.
  • The Director and Model can tease and stimulate each other during the show, and have sex when they just hold off any longer!

Here are some things the Model can do or say:

  • The Model’s attitude can be played in many different ways depending on your inclination. You can be shy, confident, desperate for work, eager to make a sale, chaste, or less-then-chaste.
  • Even if you’re playing shy, the Model should show off her body for the Director. You’re trying to get the job or make the sale, so you should proactively display yourself and your lingerie. Invite him to “try out” the lingerie while you’re wearing it by touching your body and teasing you.
  • Take your time getting dressed and undressed. You’ll be changing clothes several times, so have fun with it.
  • “What do you want me to try on first?”
  • “Can you help me take this off?” / “Can you help me put this on?”
  • “Do you like how I look from behind?” / “from the front?”
  • “How do you want me to stand?” / “Do you want me to kneel down?” / “Do you want me to bend over?”
  • “Do you want a closer look?”
  • Let go of your inhibitions! No one has a perfect body, but your husband thinks you’re beautiful — that’s why he wants you to model lingerie for him!

Here are some things the Director can do or say:

  • The Director’s attitude should be confident. Know what you want. Are you evaluating the Model before offering a job, or considering which lingerie to buy, or something else? Be goal-oriented and direct the Model in a way that helps you make your decision.
  • Stay fully clothed for most of the scenario, until it’s necessary for you to remove something “for testing purposes”. For example, you may need to remove your pants in order to test how accessible the Model’s body is in the lingerie.
  • “Beautiful”, “perfect”, “lovely”, “magnificent”, “graceful” — praise the Model’s beauty and physical performance. Say these things frequently throughout the show, and never be critical or demeaning. The Model is making herself physically and visually vulnerable, so be sure to praise and affirm her.
  • “Stand up”, “sit down”, “kneel”, “lie down” — tell the Model how to position her body.
  • Use your hands on the Model to position her exactly how you want. Explore her body while you’re “evaluating” each outfit.
  • Tell the Model when to change clothes.
  • “Spread your legs”, “bend over”, “get on all fours”, “arch your back” — put the Model into sexually revealing positions, with or without clothes. You’ve got to get a good look at this lingerie from every angle!

When you can’t stand the sexiness anymore, have sex! Talk about your favorite parts of the activity, and stay positive. What did you especially enjoy? Was there anything you wouldn’t choose to do again?

If you like this idea, here are a few related posts that you might enjoy:

Leave a comment and let us know how you make the most of your lingerie!

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Reader “NI” asks:

What are your thoughts on a Christian wife wearing a discrete collar as a symbol and reminder of her submission to Christ and her husband? It is borrowing from the BDSM lifestyle, but we do already enjoy incorporating some of that kind of play in our intimacy.

Here are a few examples of collar/choker style necklaces. Basically they’re short chains or bands that fit snugly and lay high on the neck.

The short answer to IN’s question is yes, it’s perfectly fine for a Christian to wear a collar or choker necklace. Collars are not inherently immodest or ostentatious, which are the primary Biblical requirements for Christian dress (1 Timothy 2:9).

Digging beneath the surface, let’s also consider NI’s motivation: “as a symbol and reminder of her submission to Christ and her husband”. This idea of a wife wearing a visible symbol of submission to her husband comes from 1 Corinthians 11 — I will excerpt a few verses here; read the whole thing if you’re interested.

3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. […] 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels [or messengers]. 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.

The passage specifically discusses the symbolism of wives covering their heads with a hat or cloth, but head coverings were a culturally-grounded symbol of submission that may be less relevant in our current culture. The essence of the passage is the instruction for wives to wear a visible symbol of submission; the exact nature of that symbol likely depends on the culture. Some Christians argue that this entire passage is irrelevant to the church today. Some Christians believe that their wedding ring (or engagement ring) fulfills the intent of this passage. (We don’t have a strong opinion on this topic — seek God’s glory and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit.)

(We have even less of an opinion on what “because of the angels” means in verse 10. The word translated “angels” can refer to human messengers or observers, but that doesn’t do a lot to clarify the sentence.)

So then, back to NI’s question: “What are your thoughts on a Christian wife wearing a discrete collar as a symbol and reminder of her submission to Christ and her husband?”

As a husband, my thought is that collars and chokers are very sexy. I’ve discussed this with Sexy Corte and she thinks they look slutty. As NI recognized in her email, collars are somewhat culturally linked not only with submission broadly, but also specifically with submissive sexuality. For some wives, wearing a public symbol of your sexual submission to your husband may feel uncomfortable or unappealing, but that’s mostly a matter of personal preference not permissability.

If collars or chokers aren’t your thing, here are a few similar ideas:

Husbands and wives, what do you think? Do any of you wear symbols of submission or anything similar?

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will never reveal your name or any other identifying information.

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Wives aren’t looking for casual sex partners (hopefully!), but husbands can learn a few things from the preferences of women who are looking for casual sex. Let’s look at the six elements listed in the article, even though we only have limited influence over several of the items.

1. You need to be taller than her.

Sadly, height bias is still very much real: 89. 5 percent of respondents said their short-term partner had to be taller than them, and only 11.9 percent viewed height as unimportant.

There’s not much you can do to make yourself taller! If you’re wearing shoes and your wife is barefoot then you can add an extra inch or so. You can position yourself above your wife in some circumstances, but not always.

2. But you don’t necessarily need to be smarter.

While having similar education levels may be important for women seeking a lifelong mate, only 46.7 percent of American women thought intelligence was an important trait in a casual partner.

Well that’s a relief! Just like height, there isn’t much you can do to make yourself smarter — but you can make yourself more interesting. If you’ve been married for very long at all, you may have noticed that your wife’s panties don’t drop to the floor when you solve an equation or win an argument on the internet. Raw intelligence isn’t as impressive as what you can do with it: write a poem, build a vibrator, use classical conditioning to enhance her orgasms.

3. Hair is great, but only if it’s on your face.

While bearded men are still beloved around the world, most women said they’d prefer a short haircut and a hairless chest for a fling than luscious locks and a virtual forest of upper body hair.

Finally! Something completely under our control. Here are some tips for husbandly grooming, and yes, you should shave your balls. Put in the (minor!) effort required to be clean and fresh.

4. You don’t have to be buff.

Unsurprisingly, about half (51.8 percent) of all women surveyed considered body type to be a very important factor when deciding on a partner for a casual encounter. But if you don’t have a six-pack or bulging biceps, don’t fret. Fit, athletic physiques were found to be the most popular among women (50.3 percent), followed by “average” body types (29.1 percent). Only 7.8 percent said they wanted someone who was very muscular.

Even if being fit and athletic doesn’t come naturally to you — as it doesn’t for me — you can take action to become the best possible you. Lift some weights. Go for a run (together!). Pick her up. You might also benefit from some more fitted clothing than you’re used to.

5. Your ethnicity and religion don’t matter.

Well ok!

6. And don’t forget to smile!

Having an attractive smile was one of the most important factors for women from almost every country in the Clue survey. So, when you’re on your date, remember to show that you’re enjoying yourself by flashing those pearly whites!

Mouthwash, toothbrush, and floss — and use some over-the-counter whitening product. But don’t just smile all the time for no reason, that’s a signal of unease, desperation, and submission for men.

Husband: if you want more casual sex with your wife, make yourself an attractive casual sex partner! (Your wife will thank you.)

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Sleeping naked is good for your health and your marriage — but how can you stay warm while sleeping naked in the winter?

If this podcast is a blessing to you, please leave us a 5-star review on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts.

How did you sleep?: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/mental-techniques/how-did-you-sleep/

Sleep naked and wake up early: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/marriage-advice/sleep-naked-and-wake-up-early/

Wives: how to sleep warm and sexy in winter: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/information/wives-how-to-sleep-warm-and-sexy-in-winter/

Better sleep leads to better sex, which leads to better sleep: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/information/better-sleep-leads-to-better-sex-which-leads-to-better-sleep/

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 7:01 — 8.1MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | About the Podcast

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I finally understand why chicks did motorcycles: built-in vibrating seats. Yep, that’s right, you can install a vibrator directly into the passenger seat of your bike to give your wife quite an exciting ride.

(And apparently there are vibrating bicycle seats too?)

But why should motorcycle riders have all the fun? When I saw these products I realized that it would be pretty easy to replicate the experience in our sensible sedan. If you or your spouse are just a little bit handy with electricity it’s simple to build your own 12-volt car-powered over-the-clothes vibrator!

Here are the three parts you need to buy — all easily available from eBay or other online sources for under $20 total.

  1. 12-volt male plug (for cigarette lighter).
  2. 12-volt dimmer knob.
  3. 12-volt vibrating massage motor (Uxcell is the most likely brand). I suggest getting a motor that includes the plastic housing, seen below.

Once you have all the parts, assembling the device is pretty easy. For car use I didn’t install the vibrator into the seat — you don’t straddle a car seat like you do a motorcycle seat, so that positioning wouldn’t be ideal anyway. You’ll need some wire-cutters (or needle-nose pliers) and a small screwdriver.

  1. Measure your distance. How far will the vibrator need to reach from your cigarette lighter to the wife’s lady bits? Make sure to leave some slack, but you don’t want too much wire or you’ll get a tangled mess. You should also decide where you want the dimmer knob located, so you need to decide on length for the wires from the plug to the knob, and from the knob to the motor.
  2. Cut the wires. And strip 1/4 inch of insulation from the tips of each wire so you can install them into the knob switch.
  3. Install the wires into the knob switch. Use a small screwdriver to install your four wires into the receptacles on the knob switch. For DC (direct current) power, red wires are positive/+ and black wires are negative/-.
  4. Test. Plug it in, turn on the car, and make sure it works. When you turn the knob the motor should modulate its power. If it doesn’t work, make sure your wiring is correct — is the metal of each wire in contact with the metal in its switch receptacle? Are reds in positive and blacks in negative? If your wiring is right and it still doesn’t work you may have a defective part.
  5. Bundle the wires. If you have pairs of loose wires you can bundle them together to neaten things up. Use small zip ties and/or electrician tape to protect the pairs of wires and hold them together to reduce tangles.

Your new car toy has two incredible benefits:

  1. Over-the clothes power. The 12-volt motor should be much more powerful than a battery-operated vibrator! This means the wife doesn’t need to get undressed to use it — it can reach through her clothes! You know we’re a fan of using a wireless remote vibrator that tucks into Sexy Corte’s panties, and it’s great for when we’re walking around, in a restaurant, or in a theater, but it also requires advanced preparation. She has to put the vibrator in her panties before we leave, and it can be awkward to reposition because it’s buried under layers of clothes. You can’t use this car vibrator walking around, but when you’re using it in the car you don’t need to mess with the wife’s clothes.
  2. Infinite duration. As long as you’ve got gas in the car you’ve got vibration! The wireless remote vibrator we use can go for around 45 minutes, but this car vibrator never runs out of juice. You can use it in tons of ways: coming and going from your date; park and play while the wife performs oral; on a road trip (keep quiet and put a movie on in back!); the wife can build up sexual tension with edging while she drives home from work or the store; the husband can tease her by controlling the knob. Limitless fun!

We hope you enjoy this project. Leave a comment and tell us what you think, especially if you build a car vibrator for yourself!

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This guy is rad — you can tell from the girl’s eyes that she is surprised and impressed with his mastery. The man’s thumbs-up at the end says it all: no big deal.

Nothing’s hotter than expertly popping off your wife’s bra and getting your hands on her sweet, sweet breasts. It’s true: men love boobs. But unfortunately, our wives’ breasts are often imprisoned out of our reach.

Sure… your wife could remove her bra herself… but that’s like letting someone else unwrap your birthday present! No, you must have the glory of uncovering her breasts… but there’s a problem! Your wife has been unhooking bras for years and is very experienced at it. If you fumble, you’ll look foolish during your moment of victory! What to do?

Step 1: Scout the terrain. The “hook and eye” is the most common type of bra clasp, but as you can see in the diagram below there are many others. I know bras aren’t that interesting when your wife’s boobs aren’t inside, but go check out her collection and see how her various bras work. Take special note if she has any front closure bras — these are the worst! You can fumble with the strap in back forever until she delicately informs you that the clasps aren’t even there. Get familiar with her bras, and you you won’t be surprised later when the pressure’s on.

Step 2: Practice before the game. Now that you know what kinds of clasps are on your wife’s bras, take a few minutes to practice opening them. Then do it with your eyes closed! Learn to recognize the clasps by touch, because when you do it for real you may be in the dark or reaching around her body. Lucky for us husbands, bra clasps are all designed to be openable with one hand, so practice that way. To practice: lay the hooked bra face-down on a flat surface (with the clasp up) and reach out to open it in one smooth motion. You may need to put some tension on the straps while they’re hooked in order to create a realistic simulation.

Step 3: Go slow to go fast. This part is key! When you’re actually in position to take off your wife’s bra, don’t rush yourself. You don’t have to flick the clasp open the second your touch her bra. Your wife doesn’t know that bra removal has begun until your fingers begin manipulating the clasp! So before you start trying to open it, run your fingers over the clasp in the course of rubbing your hands across your wife’s back. She’ll think you’re merely touching her for arousal, but you’re also using the opportunity to identify her bra. After you know what kind of bra you’re dealing with, practice opening it in your mind. When you’re ready for the big moment, move your hand away from her bra for several seconds (or longer), and then move back in and unclasp her bra with a single confident motion. Moving your hand away after scouting and then back will make the unclasping seem like a fast, expert, effortless maneuver.

Step 4: Enjoy! Your mastery of her bra has impressed your wife and earned you access to her intimate delights. Claim your just reward and enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Do you have any tips to share for husbands trying to conquer that most frustrating of undergarments? Leave a comment!

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Reader “FR” asks:

What is your opinion on a guy wearing feminine lingerie to spice things up in the bedroom, just for the shock factor, or for some good laughs? And just for one night, being a Damsel in distress?

I have no interest in changing my sexual identity, I am very glad that God made me as a man. I just thought about doing this just for fun, to break away from the same-old-same-old, and to liven things up in the bedroom. To me, this is similar to my teenage son dressing up as a girl for last Halloween, and he is about as masculine as they come… but if this is wrong in the eyes of God, then the last thing I would want to do is to offend him.

I’ll answer this in three parts: what the Bible says, how to apply what the Bible says, and what El Fury thinks.

First, I’m only aware of one verse in the Bible that directly talks about cross-dressing:

Deuteronomy 22:5, “A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.”

I linked the word “abomination” to its definition in the Hebrew so that you can see how strong it is. This verse is pretty easy to interpret, and you’ll notice that it is very culturally grounded: God isn’t specifying the type of clothing allowed for either sex, He’s saying that he expects men and women to adhere to the cultural norms for their sexes. The following New Testament passage is interpreted similarly:

1 Corinthians 11:14-16, “Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God.”

Despite the invocation of “nature itself”, the last sentence in the passage makes it clear that the instructions about hair-length for men and women are based on the common practice of the time. The Bible instructs us to follow the clothing and style customs for our sex.

Moving into the second part of my answer, there’s a broad theme throughout the Bible that God created men and women to be different and distinct, and He doesn’t like it when we muddle things up. The instructions about clothing and hair are culturally dependent, and the way we apply these instructions depends on the culture we live in. Consider the passage from 1 Corinthians: it’s not accurate to insist that all married women should have long hair in the modern world, because that’s not how our culture demonstrates a wife’s submission to her husband. The key issue Paul is addressing is wifely submission, not hair length, and in the broad Mediterranean culture of the early church long hair was a symbol of that submission.

Therefore, the general application is that men and women, husbands and wives, should adhere to their distinct roles and display the outward signs of those roles as appropriate for their culture. Does this mean that cross-gender Halloween costumes are sinful? Or that a husband wearing lingerie is sinful?  I will not presume to condemn anyone based on my extrapolation from the Bible — each person should pray and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. However, my opinion is that the scriptural guidance is pretty  clear on this matter, and you’d do best to steer clear of cross-gender clothing, style, and behavior.

Which brings us to the third part of my answer: El Fury’s opinion. I personally wouldn’t dress or act in a feminine manner to make my wife laugh, especially in a sexual situation. Sure, it may be funny, but the essence of the joke is the husband emasculating himself. That’s not an experience I want to put in my wife’s mind. I want her to see me as strong, masculine, loving, kind, and sexy — and humor that undercuts that image is ultimately destructive to our marriage. It may get a laugh for a minute, and then stick in her mind for decades.

Being able to laugh and play together in a sexual setting is a great boon for your marriage, but husbands, your wife should never have any confusion about your intent to sex her up real good.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email service like Mailinator.

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Men, if you’re like me — married, kids, mid-career, home by seven — then you’re probably past the stage in life when you care that much about how you dress. Everyone at your job probably dresses pretty much the same, and your wife already likes how you look… she married you, right? True, true… but it’s pretty easy to kick things up a notch, and the benefits are plentiful. Let’s be honest… you wouldn’t mind if your wife dressed a little hotter, right? Maybe she’d appreciate a little more effort from you, too!

(For other posts with advice for husbands, check out Husbandly Hygiene and Do You Even Lift?)

Fortunately for you and me, the internet can help! I’m no expert on fashion, but I can read a webpage better than anyone (and send Sexy Corte out with a shopping list). The best resource I’ve found is /r/MaleFashionAdvice on Reddit, a site with more than 500k subscribers that focuses entirely on male fashion. (Go watch Zoolander and come back.) On the site you can ask for specific advice, but the most useful pages to me have been these four on building a basic wardrobe.

They include advice on how to select clothes for fit, versatility, and simplicity in an age appropriate way — as a 40-year-old, you wouldn’t want to dress like a 20-year-old and look ridiculous. None of these changes cost a lot of money or time — it’s just as easy to buy the right clothes as the wrong clothes, once you know the difference!

Just in case you ever get confused about what to where to an event, here’s a handy guide for all occasions.


 mfa dress chart

Finally, here’s the visual shopping list for your wives (haha, I kid).

mfa mens essentials

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This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #015: You Should Sleep Naked, Even in Winter

Winter is coming, and wives are facing the annual dilemma: how can I sleep warmly and still ensure that my lady bits are available to my husband? Flannel pajamas are warm and comfy, but so frustrating for cuddly husbands! The top isn’t much of a problem if he can sneak his hands up underneath, but the bottoms are total killjoys. What’s a loving wife to do?

Great news! You can keep warm on a cold night and still sleep sexy with thigh-high socks! They’re the perfect compromise for nights when it’s too cold to sleep naked. Throw on a comfy top, some thigh-highs, and nothing else — everyone wins. You’re guaranteed to sleep well and wake up refreshed.

Update:

Commenter Marriagecoach1 points out that women have an easier time reaching orgasm when their feet are warm.

Update 2:

Buy a fitted electric heat pad to go under your sheets!

thigh high socks 3

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