This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #005: Yes, You Should Swallow
We touched on this topic several months ago while writing about period sex, but it’s worth highlighting because we get so many questions about oral sex. You may be surprised to learn that the questions aren’t all from husbands who want more oral from their wives — we get similar emails from wives. We also get emails from wives (and husbands) who are lukewarm towards the idea of giving more oral to their spouse, and the number two reason given comes down to the feeling that performing oral sex is boring. (The number one reason is *drumroll* reluctance to swallow semen.)
So here’s a simple idea: make sure both spouses are being stimulated while one is performing oral! How can you make that happen?
- Play with each other: The positions we call Old Faithful and New Faithful enable the husband to use his fingers or vibrator on his wife while she is performing oral on him. The Sixty-Nine position seems obvious thanks to pop culture, but it’s not very practical — the top spouse holds his/her body up for a long time while the bottom spouse gets buried and struggles to breathe. Better in theory than in practice.
- Play with yourself: The husband can use his hand on himself while his head lies between his wife’s thighs. The wife can use her hand or vibrator on herself while she kneels and performs oral on her husband. If the giver is having fun I can virtually guarantee that the receiver will have fun.
- Non-sexual stimulation: The stimulation doesn’t need to be sexual! Try a bifecta: watch your favorite show or read a book out loud while playing with each other. Bonus: here’s a new way to decide what to watch: whoever is giving oral picks the show. Your husband will discover a newfound love for romantic comedies.
Before you start, it’s important to set expectations for when each spouse is going to orgasm. Is the oral sex just foreplay? If so, then the receiver should hold off orgasm until the right time. Are you performing oral to completion? If so, then the giver should get a chance to have an orgasm also. (It’s super hot when Sexy Corte has an orgasm when I’m in her mouth, and I bet your spouse would enjoy that too!)
Do you have any other ideas for making the gift of oral sex more enjoyable to give? Leave a comment.