This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #005: Yes, You Should Swallow
We touched on this topic several months ago while writing about period sex, but it’s worth highlighting because we get so many questions about oral sex. You may be surprised to learn that the questions aren’t all from husbands who want more oral from their wives — we get similar emails from wives. We also get emails from wives (and husbands) who are lukewarm towards the idea of giving more oral to their spouse, and the number two reason given comes down to the feeling that performing oral sex is boring. (The number one reason is *drumroll* reluctance to swallow semen.)
So here’s a simple idea: make sure both spouses are being stimulated while one is performing oral! How can you make that happen?
- Play with each other: The positions we call Old Faithful and New Faithful enable the husband to use his fingers or vibrator on his wife while she is performing oral on him. The Sixty-Nine position seems obvious thanks to pop culture, but it’s not very practical — the top spouse holds his/her body up for a long time while the bottom spouse gets buried and struggles to breathe. Better in theory than in practice.
- Play with yourself: The husband can use his hand on himself while his head lies between his wife’s thighs. The wife can use her hand or vibrator on herself while she kneels and performs oral on her husband. If the giver is having fun I can virtually guarantee that the receiver will have fun.
- Non-sexual stimulation: The stimulation doesn’t need to be sexual! Try a bifecta: watch your favorite show or read a book out loud while playing with each other. Bonus: here’s a new way to decide what to watch: whoever is giving oral picks the show. Your husband will discover a newfound love for romantic comedies.
Before you start, it’s important to set expectations for when each spouse is going to orgasm. Is the oral sex just foreplay? If so, then the receiver should hold off orgasm until the right time. Are you performing oral to completion? If so, then the giver should get a chance to have an orgasm also. (It’s super hot when Sexy Corte has an orgasm when I’m in her mouth, and I bet your spouse would enjoy that too!)
Do you have any other ideas for making the gift of oral sex more enjoyable to give? Leave a comment.
I so love this post because um well it’s our favorite thing! I give him oral while laying sort toward my side and him sort of toward his side while he zones in on my clitoris with his fingers. It gives him the perfect vantage point to see exactly what he needs to do and well he gets lots of oral because I always know I’m gonna get the best pleasure. This is our go to like seriously 95% of the time.
Awesome! Do you lay on your sides facing each other? Do you use this as foreplay, or go all the way to completion for each of you?
Oral sex more enjoyable? I would say the following: blindfolds, flavored lubes, and the most important…an open mind. If we as husbands and wives have an open mind, the experience would be more fulfilling.
I find it very hard to focus on stimulating and being stimulated at the same time. I can pretty much give or receive, but both at the same time is just frustrating to me. I can’t give myself to either thing fully.
Keelie Reason recently posted…How to Get in The Rhythm of Having Sex More Often
No matter what we’re doing, our focus is generally on satisfying Sexy Corte first :) So, yes, she loses focus when she is performing oral and being stimulated herself, but it’s so crazy hot that it’s impossible for it to go wrong from my perspective. Even if I’m only getting 10% of her attention I don’t mind… it’s a really good 10%.
I agree with Keelie. It can be so distracting not that that’s a bad thing!
It’s supposed to be distracting :)
Doesn’t 69 qualify for this? Both spouses are being fed while pleasing each other…an extra bonus with husband using a toy and his toungue together on his wife while he is down her throat! It is awesome when both cum at the same time for each one to enjoy!
Definitely!