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Sex Q&A: Husband Only Wants Anal 1

Here are a couple of emails from wives whose husbands “only want anal”.

Wife “ZE” write:

My husband and I have had a difficult marriage of nearly 12 years, but sex has been something we can always come back to, leaning on the openness and intimacy it fosters. A couple years ago we tried anal, and although very uncomfortable and usually painful for me, we kept trying every couple months to try to get it to be enjoyable for me. I enjoyed it once or twice (with alcohol involved) but now that we do not drink alcohol it’s uncomfortable and painful to me, even with a lot of prep and lube.

I got so frustrated with the pressure to have anal sex that I made him promise not to even ask for it because I just don’t like it. Of course now that it’s taboo he wants it even more. His promise only lasted a few months. Sometimes he goes for days unable to orgasm any other way because he keeps thinking about anal. He is unable to orgasm on his own since we’ve been married, and if he has a biological need (very painful, swollen testicles) I need to be involved in some way. He does not like porn because it feels like cheating to him (which is just fine with me!). Recently, we tried again, and I didn’t even say i didn’t want to because I know he will keep asking and be likely unable to orgasm without it, but it hurts and i don’t like it and I just want to never feel pressured to do it again. Our formerly awesome glue of a sex life is coming undone. What can we do?

This seems like a difficult situation. I think frank, direct communication is best. Anal hurts you, and you need to explore other ways. It seems likely that with communication and experimentation that the two of you will be able to find other sexual activities that he enjoys. It seems unlikely that he will not be able to find another sexual activity that can bring him to orgasm. Are there other seemingly “taboo” things that the two of you can explore together?

If he is unable to move past this, it sounds like there could be a mental block; you should encourage him to speak to a therapist that can advise him on overcoming this situation. Sex is as much mental as it is physical.

Encourage your husband that you want to have a great sex life with him — you aren’t rejecting him, it’s just not physically safe for you to engage in this activity anymore.

El Fury adds: My opinion is that it’s not beneficial to pressure your spouse, whether that’s pressure to have anal sex or pressure to “promise you’ll never do that again”. I suggest taking life one day at a time. Use wisdom and prudence to let a “no” stand for a while before asking again.

Wife “DN” writes:

I found this site because I was looking up Christian sex counseling. To say this was a God-thing is an understatement!

A little background: My husband and I have been married for 22 years and have five children. [snip a lot of details about family history and chaos]

All that to say, I’m lost in despair. We’ve discussed the same things more or less for 22 years. It started with expectant touching. I didn’t get touched unless it was to communicate desire. My touches were read as desire nearly 100% of the time. So less than 6 months into our marriage, I was not showing much affection and was annoyed with his. You can imagine how that has progressed over two decades and five kids.

We still have sex. Often. 2-3 times a week on average. Because I love him and still want to commune with him and vice versa. But often that’s not enough for him, and penis-in-vagina sex is no longer enough. He wants anal when I’m still super uncomfortable with just talking dirty. And he wants to finish in my mouth when he knows my texture issues. It is becoming a problem to the point that he has to fantasize about either one to finish… and that’s not even enough anymore. At this point I’m afraid to even try either act, because I’m afraid he might like it too much and then want to do it every time. I almost never used to give him oral due to a large amount of discomfort for me, but have figured out ways around it. He is very appreciative… and wants it EVERY time. It is still not my favorite thing to do. Plain, vanilla sex is often all I feel up for. But if it’s not more than that, he has an especially hard time popping off. I’m not trying to be a gatekeeper. But that’s exactly what I’ve become.

Communication is so important, especially about sex. Have some conversations — what is your husband’s ideal sex life? What is yours? How often would it be ideal to have sex? You can compromise to make sure you are both satisfied. It’s ok to communicate to set expectations. If you are trying something new that you are uncomfortable with, let him know that you are willing to do this once in a while but you don’t want to do it all of the time. Then establish how often you would be comfortable. You can even communicate about physical touch. Tell him that sometimes you just want a hug, or to touch him, without it being interpreted sexually. Non-sexual physical touch is really important for intimacy.

Like the husband of “ZE” above, it sounds like your husband has a bit of a mental block that he needs to work around. Practicing regular penis-in-vagina sex will hopefully build back up his ability to finish. Spend some time yourself looking for new “taboo” activities that you might enjoy and suggest them to your husband! There are so many things to do that you can mutually enjoy, and your husband just might be surprised at what you’re willing to try. Discuss things that excite you both instead of getting fixated on things that are uncomfortable for you.

El Fury adds: Lots of husbands want to have anal sex, and lots of wives are hesitant or uncomfortable. Here’s an an earlier post about anal sex that goes into more detail: Sex Q&A: “What is your view on anal sex?”. From the emails we receive, many wives are afraid that if they have anal sex once then that’s all their husbands will ever want — and the emails we respond to in this post show that some husbands actually do feel that way! However, if you want to enjoy sexual exploration in your marriage then both spouses need to be both open and practical. There has to be room to try new things, and also a recognition that some activities are only for once-in-a-while.
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Ten Types of Female Orgasms??? 2

The female body is pretty amazing, but can women really have ten kinds of orgasms? Sexy Corte and I will tackle this topic together.

(Note: This post will refer to the diagrams in our earlier post, All About Female Orgasms (Safe Diagrams) which covers some of the orgasm types described below.)

1. Clitoral orgasms.

El Fury: Obviously yes, despite the fact that some men don’t seem to know how to rub a clitoris. (diagram)

Sexy Corte: I’m amazed at how tiny a clitoris is, and how it can make me feel such big things. Clitoral stimulation is how I orgasm. That’s it. Other techniques listed below can heighten that experience, but without focused stimulation on my clitoris, it doesn’t go anywhere. It can take 20-30 minutes of focus to get to orgasm, and sometimes even longer. Husbands, my best advice to make your wife love sex is to learn to navigate her clitoris. Use your hand or a vibrator, you will know when you are on the right track. Human females are the only females that can orgasm. What a gift from God!

2. Vaginal orgasms.

For many of us, this type of orgasm remains elusive. That’s because most women (50-75 percent) can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone.

… another researcher found that part of the vagina (where the G-spot zone is located) is inextricably linked with the internal parts of the clitoris. Thus, “vaginal” orgasms could actually be clitoral orgasms by another name.

El Fury: This is the idealized kind of orgasm that you see depicted in movie love scenes. They’re real, and some women can have them easily, but most women benefit from clitoral stimulation.

Sexy Corte: I am one of the majority that cannot orgasm this way. However, my favorite way to orgasm is with vaginal sex combined with EF using a vibrator on my clitoris. Never gets old.

3. G-spot orgasms.

The G-spot is an orgasmic erogenous zone on the front wall of the vagina and is made up of the urethral sponge and Female Erectile Network. It swells upon arousal, and G-spot orgasms are said to be more intense, longer-lasting, and more full-bodied than clitoral orgasms.

Hitting the G-spot can also result in female ejaculation or “squirting.”

El Fury: The G-spot combined with internal parts of the clitoris probably lead to what people call “vaginal orgasms”, discussed above. Curling two fingers in a “come here” motion inside the vagina is the easiest way to manually stimulate the G-spot (diagram).

Sexy Corte: When EF has tried to stimulate this area it hasn’t done much for me, but I’m open to keep trying.

4. Cervical orgasms.

Many women don’t even know this type of orgasm is possible. The cervix itself, lies at the very back of the vagina, past the G-spot. It’s the entrance to a woman’s uterus and protrudes into the vagina like a rounded button resembling the head of a penis.

Cervical orgasms have been described as deeper, full-bodied, expanded orgasms, like an ecstatic tingling experience or “a shower of stars.”

While clitoral orgasms have a quick peak and release, G-spot and cervical orgasm come in waves of bliss, with a pleasurable sensation that can last for hours. Some women say that cervical orgasms are almost “spiritual” in nature.

El Fury: The whole area around the cervix seems to be sensitive to stimulation. In addition to the cervix itself, the anterior fornix (diagram) and posterior fornix (diagram) can be stimulated for orgasms.

Sexy Corte: Hmm, this sounds like a necessary experience. Let’s try to achieve this soon!

5. U-spot orgasms.

This tiny orgasmic spot is just above your urethral opening but is often neglected, poor thing. The U-spot is a highly sensitive erogenous zone that can create strong orgasms and also takes part in female ejaculation.

It is located in the vulva, just above the vagina and below the clitoris, surrounding the urethra opening (above and to either side) like an upside-down “U.” It is a highly-sensitive bundle of nerves, as well as erectile tissue that can feel extremely erotic when stimulated.

El Fury: This seems likely to be another extension of the clitoris.

Sexy Corte: This whole area is sensitive, and stimulation here is required for me to orgasm. Keeping stimulation focused here during sex makes the experience amazing.

6. Anal orgasms.

This type of orgasm is on people’s bucket list more and more. Why? The anus opening and anal canal are distinct erogenous zones on their own, rich in nerve endings and super-sensitive to stimulation and penetration.

The “rosebud,” or anal opening enjoys soft sensual massage with lots of lubricant. The anus itself should be penetrated very slowly, based on the receiver’s preference.

Stimulation of the anus, perineum, and rectum can engage the pelvic and pudendal nerves, which are implicated in the orgasmic response.

El Fury: Well, we’re working on this intermittently. Anal stimulation seems to be most pleasurable when combined with clitoral stimulation.

Sexy Corte: It is arousing when EF plays around in that area. Actual penetration is currently more distracting than arousing. If he is playing around there it can make my orgasm more intense.

7. Throat-gasms.

This type of orgasm is a bit strange, I’ll admit. But reportedly, women can experience an oral or throat orgasm during oral sex on a penis, particularly when they are deep-throating while giving a blow job (a dildo also works).

The throat is connected to the vagus nerve, cervix, and uterus, according to orgasm researchers Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk, which can trigger orgasms.

That’s why moaning and making lots of sounds during sex or solo pleasure is a good thing. It increases your orgasmic potential and helps to move the orgasmic energy throughout the body.

Full-body orgasms? Yes, please!

And, get this: The mouth and throat are highly-sensitive erogenous zones that contain more nerve endings than the vagina.

El Fury: I’ve written several times about how awesome it is for Sexy Corte to have an orgasm while performing oral sex on me. It’s one of my favorite things in the world. I suppose the world would be a better place if semen tasted like chocolate and women could have orgasms from deep-throating, but this seems incredibly far-fetched to me.

On the other hand, I completely agree that audible sexual responsiveness really improves sex. Talking, moaning, yelling, and crying out during sex will definitely intensify the experience.

Sexy Corte: I do orgasm while giving EF oral, but that is the direct cause of him stimulating my clitoris at the same time. I definitely agree that a good moan gets me going. I respond in an auditory way, which is helpful for EF to know if he is on the right track. If all of the kids are out of the house it’s really fun to let loose!

8. Nipplegasms.

This type of orgasm is luscious and sensual. A nipplegasm is an orgasm that results from nipple stimulation. Approximately 29 percent of women have said they experience these types of orgasms.

Studies done with brain imaging (fMRI) machines now prove that the same part of the brain, known as the “genital sensory cortex,” lights up when the nipples are stimulated, the exact same area that lights up when the clitoris and vagina are stimulated.

So, the nipples and breasts like the genitals can be highly orgasmic.

Sucking on the nipples releases the “love hormone” oxytocin, which is responsible for producing contractions in the uterus, and can produce orgasms. It is also the feel-good-after-sex hormone that makes you all dreamy and lovey-dovey.

El Fury: Breasts and nipples are great, and stimulating them can certainly lead to arousal. But orgasm?

Sexy Corte: My nipple sensitivity emerged after breast-feeding our first child. That event awakened something and made me feel arousal when EF would touch my breasts. It heightens arousal but I have never had an orgasm from nipple play.

9. Body-gasms.

These types of orgasm can seem mythical, until you actually experience them.

Expanded or full-body orgasms are those that are not localized to just the genital region, but can spread all over the body. This can happen when multiple erogenous zones are stimulated simultaneously, such as a combination orgasm with the clitoris and G-spot.

These type of orgasms can lead to multiple orgasms, and “super orgasms” (continuous or long-lasting orgasms). Energy orgasms can also spread through the entire body, as well.

El Fury: I love giving Sexy Corte powerful orgasms and multiple orgasms, and those two things often go together. Even though they take work on both our parts to accomplish, they’re well worth it.

Sexy Corte: I have never experienced this, but I have had orgasms that I have felt in other areas of my body. For example, I’ve had an orgasm that produced such a strong emotion that I cried. Orgasms do impact my body in a way that I shake after for a while. They feel super, but I’m not sure I’ve experienced the super orgasm.

10. Mindgasms.

This type of orgasm seems a bit “out there,” as in out-of-body experience. Mindgasms, also called breath and energy orgasms, are a type of full-body orgasm that may begin in the genitals, but then the raw sexual energy is channeled up the chakras and throughout the body.

Both men and women can experience full-body, breath, and energy orgasms, and it requires no direct stimulation of the genitals. Yes, that means hands-free. It can be a sexual experience, a very spiritual and enlightening experience, or both.

This type of amazing orgasm has been described as feeling like waves of ecstatic, electric energy coursing through your entire body and making you tingle all over. They can last much longer than ordinary orgasms, even hours, with the after-glow effects lasting even days.

El Fury: I’ve heard of this, but never experienced it. Our bodies can do strange and incredible things, and using breathing techniques to induce altered mental states via hypoxia is an age-old practice. But hands-free, no-touch orgasms? I’m guess skeptical.

Sexy Corte: I think this would be really fun to try, although I am skeptical we could achieve orgasm this way. It sounds sexy to sit with your spouse, not touch each other, but guide each other to arousal only through communication without touch. Then move on to touching!

We’d be really curious to hear from our female readers: how many of these orgasms have you had? What’s next on your bucket list? Leave a comment below!

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Sex Q&A: "What is your view on anal sex?" 3

Reader “YK” asks:

Sexy Corte, I have followed you and El Fury for a few months now. I am a husband but wanted your view as a woman on a few things. What is your view on anal sex?

I know my wife enjoys it as I do. Not saying that because I am a guy and enjoy it but because she has asked for anal sex at times when we share a shower. (There have been times I’ve refused, if you can believe that.) What I do not understand is that she goes crazy enjoying herself, but afterwards goes into a mode of “what have I done” attitude. Almost like she feels bad for enjoying the moment as much as she did.

Needless to say this really takes away from that BLESSED coming together feeling I get afterwards because I feel as if I did something wrong.

She also enjoys anal using my thumb the same time we are in doggy style. I MEAN SHE LETS GO SO MUCH THAT I FEEL I’M BEING HIT BY A JACKHAMMER!!!! So I guess my question, and I need some serious input, why does she enjoy anal sex but it has to be on her terms?

Also, she enjoys cumming in my mouth from oral but as I am about to cum she immediately wants me inside her to pound her as hard as I can until I cum, which in turn causes her to lose her mind!

One final point (sorry for taking so long), now is it normal for a wife to well…want to make sure her husband is at maximum length every time? Before me she said she never had an orgasm. Now she says she has three or more each time we are together.

I know this all may seem funny. Most men would love my “problems” but sometimes I feel like a stereotype! I am a black male of 9 1/2 inches so my wife says (she actually measured) ?. She is a white female and treats my penis like The One Ring from Lord of the Rings (myyyy precious)! We have been married for 25 years but it always seems like “her maximum ecstasy ” comes with how she feels is the best use of my penis!

There is definitely more but I think this will either be enough to make you slap your head, cause you mouth to fly open, ask El Fury to hurry and read this to stimulate a quickie, or just say this guy doesn’t know how good he has it! I look forward to your response. BLESSINGS!!!

Thanks for your email YK!

El Fury and I have been exploring the anal world in the last year, and it has been an interesting journey. In the past I have had no interest in anal sex, and I’m sure that’s in part because it is such a taboo topic. It is something that El Fury has wanted to do forever, and so I finally was able to open up and be willing to try some anal play. It has been a slow progression! I’ve been surprised at how much I’ve enjoyed it when he teases that area with his fingers. Actual penetration is very uncomfortable for me, so we time that for when I’m highly aroused. With that said, I wouldn’t say I am that “experienced” with anal sex.

I can understand your wife’s feeling of shame afterwards. I think the view of a lot of people is that anal sex is wrong, degrading, etc. I have been in conversations with other women where the attitude is “well, of course I wouldn’t do that!” So, having all of that pressure put on certain sex acts can make someone feel ashamed after giving into their desires. The Bible seems to be sexually open about all sorts of sex acts as long as it’s within the boundaries of marriage. The Song of Solomon has references to oral sex, and we believe that God wants you and your spouse to have an X-rated sex life. It seems that as long as sex is between the two of you, within the confines of your marriage, consensual, and leads to mutual satisfaction then it’s ok! If your wife can come to change her perception of anal sex then I don’t think she would feel bad afterwards.

As far as sex being on your wife’s terms, I think that because anal sex has commonly been viewed as a degrading act she might feel degraded if she consents when you want it. I’m not saying that she feels like you are trying to degrade her, it’s simply the stigma around the act. Whereas if she is initiating it then she’s in control.

For your second question about swallowing, communication is important. I used to get irritated when El Fury didn’t just know what I wanted! I had to learn to tell him. If you want your wife to swallow, you should communicate that to her. It doesn’t have to be every time, but tell her once in a while it would mean a lot to you if she swallowed.

For your third question, about length, I know for me there is something very arousing at the thought of taking all of El Fury inside me. It’s intoxicating to feel like I have as much of him inside me as possible. Your wife probably feels the same way, and would still want all of you even if your penis was an inch shorter!

It sounds like you and your wife have a great, active sex life! I definitely think you could communicate all of these questions to her. The more we talk about sex, the more natural it is to talk about. I hope this helps!

Reader YK wrote back:

I really appreciate your feedback and you really gave me some seriously valuable insight into her possible mindset concerning anal sex. I just never thought about the stigma and taboo the church has about anal sex could be the cause of her discomfort. This also explains why after accepting Jesus we both thought HOT sex was over!

SC, you and El Fury keep up the great work. There are too many married couples in the Body suffering due to these types of stigmas. BLESSINGS to you both!

How have taboos and stigmas affected your sex life with your spouse? And, of course, do you have any anal sex tips to share? Leave a comment below!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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Marriage Sex Tips from a Reader 4

We get a lot of emails from readers asking questions, but I wanted to share an email from Ellie with a list of tips that work for her and her husband. Every marriage is different, but I always find it encouraging to hear from people who have healthy, exciting sex lives. Maybe something in here will give you an idea for edifying your marriage!

Here’s Ellie’s email, with light editing and a few links back to related posts.

These are just my opinions and what works best for me and my husband. We have been married for 12 years and are intimate literally everyday! And usually at least three times a day!

Overall

  1. You are husband and wife. Don’t be afraid to voice your desires. After all his penis has already been in you, I mean how more intimate can it get than that?
  2. Women are like ovens, it takes a while for us to warm up. Do something out of the ordinary, talk about what you’re going to do to her later, or just pull her to the closet and give her a passionate kiss. Girls, wear some sexy underwear or none throughout the day!
  3. Be conscious of her monthly hormones. Women are more likely to try more things when we’re fertile and hormones are raging.
  4. When you have sex, leave on a light! (Men are visual and love to watch.)
  5. Be vocal! Nothing sounds better the sounds of pleasure from your spouse.
  6. Try new positions! After 12 years of marriage we find new ones on accident! This past week his foot ended on my head pressing me to the mattress and believe or not it was amazing.
  7. Make date night or lunch a priority, especially if you have kids! If the kids can crash at the grandparents house take them up on EVERY opportunity!

Oral Sex

  1. Hygiene and shave: it will make it more enjoyable for both!
  2. Watch your diet. Fruits and lots of water will lead to better tasting experience for both. Stay away from asparagus and onions.
  3. If you want her to swallow make sure you are not going to give her a full load. More is not always a good thing in this department. And let her know how much you enjoy it.
  4. Women, practice with your fingers and don’t worry if you gag, I don’t think any man would complain! It actually excited my husband more! If you feel as if you might vomit take a break and concentrate on his friends below — some kisses and licks will do the trick. After you recuperate get back to it!
  5. Make eye contact with your spouse to create a very intimate experience.
  6. Sometimes women do not know how amazing giving oral sex to a man can look. Record it and watch it back together later!
  7. Husbands, don’t forget about her! Ask her where she likes it and let her grab your head to steer you in the right direction.

Anal

  1. When my hubby first asked I thought he was crazy. We both have high libidos and “that time of the month” seems like eternity. I never in a million years thought I would enjoy it, but now we both have had some amazing orgasms this way.
  2. Prep! Just like for any other intimate act, cleaning is essential! Eat less that day. About two hours before sex I always feel better with a water enema to make sure every thing is clean. This might be TMI but I also inject about a tablespoon of organic coconut oil in my anus, right before we begin. That way you won’t have to stop during foreplay to lube up. Plus coconut oil is a natural anti-bacterial! We have used it for years, and it’s great lube for the vagina, too!
  3. Foreplay, and lots of it! Take it slow when you are entering. Very slow! And don’t pound as you would in vaginal sex.
  4. Position: Laying face down and bottom up seems to be easiest for beginners.

Accessories!

  1. One word: Magic wand. She will orgasm uncontrollably and you won’t even have to move! Even better to add during sex. My husband says my vaginal contractions are amazing when we use this. She might ejaculate too so don’t be surprised, she is not peeing! Taste it! It actually taste like sweet water.
  2. Straps! No need to spend a lot of money. Get heavy duty ace bandages and tie them to the bed post. Our favorite position is when I lay on my back and he ties my feet above my head.
  3. Ben wa balls and kegels. It will make sex more pleasurable for both of you and the orgasms will be even stronger!
  4. Doggy style tummy strap!
  5. Chairs! Enough said! Let your imagination run wild.

Got a question for Ellie? Want to share some of your own tips? Leave a comment!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 5

We hope your summer is hot and sweaty — under the sheets!

What buttons would you each like? — Brilliant thought experiment.

How would you like a magic button? When you push the button, your husband immediately does what the button says. Not only does he do it, he does it without complaint or acting upset. Now turn it around; what magic button would your husband like? What does he want more of from/with you? If I asked him the top five buttons he would like, how many of them would you guess correctly?

The Duchy has rope bondage tutorials with no nudity or sexual content. If you haven’t yet, check out our post about shibari.

Have you ever been injured during sex? — I’ll be honest: I skipped the post to get straight to the war stories in the comments.

Everybody wants to know about anal sex — Sure, but we get more questions about oral sex.

Pompoir: The Art of Milking the Lingam

Pompoir is the art of “milking” the lingam of your partner with your yoni. (Lingam and yoni are Sanskrit for penis and vagina.)

Create a sex encounter schedule — Also see this 2+2 habit. Helpful communication tools, but less ambitious than than daily sex.

Can I get a hand?

Tease him till he begs — In private, or in public.

… and even more bloggers! — I haven’t read them all yet.

Post some more great links in the comments, have have a hot summer!

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Numbing Sprays and Lube: Are They Safe? 6

A reader’s wife recently suggested that she try using a numbing spray to help her overcome her gag reflex, and I wrote back that such use is generally safe. But what about numbing sprays and lubes more generally?

In addition to cough sprays and cough drops that are intended for other uses (sore throats) there are also products that are intended to numb during sex. There are several different potential applications, and each type of use has it’s own considerations. The most important thing to remember is that pain was designed by God to warn us about injury. Numbing agents can be used to reduce discomfort, but shouldn’t be used to mask pain. Here are the three major applications, in order of least risky to most risky.

  • Penis: Numbing spray can be used on the penis to mitigate premature ejaculation. This is generally safe and somewhat effective. It is unlikely that a topical numbing agent will prevent a man from feeling pain in his penis.
  • Throat: Numbing spray is generally safe to use on the throat to reduce discomfort during oral sex. There are also flavored, numbing lubes that can be used for the same purpose. Of course, applying numbing agents to the penis will make it harder for the husband to orgasm! The wife can use the throat spray a few minutes before starting oral sex to avoid accidentally applying it to the penis. The mouth and throat are pretty tough, and as long as the wife is careful it’s unlikely that her husband’s penis will cause injury.
  • Anus: There are numerous kinds of lube designed to aid anal sex, including some with numbing agents. Numbing lube shouldn’t be used to mask pain! Anal sex should not be painful. If used wisely numbing lubes should be safe, but don’t use them to fool yourself and risk injury.

Even though numbing lubes and sprays are generally safe, they definitely aren’t necessary for oral or anal sex. If you practice, go slow, and use lube you can avoid pain and discomfort without risking the use of numbing agents. Numbing lubes and sprays seem like a short-cut, but sex with your spouse isn’t a race! Take your time and enjoy yourselves.

What’s your experience with numbing sprays or lubes? Have you used them? Do you like them? Leave a comment!

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