Marriage Sex Tips from a Reader

Marriage Sex Tips from a Reader 1

We get a lot of emails from readers asking questions, but I wanted to share an email from Ellie with a list of tips that work for her and her husband. Every marriage is different, but I always find it encouraging to hear from people who have healthy, exciting sex lives. Maybe something in here will give you an idea for edifying your marriage!

Here’s Ellie’s email, with light editing and a few links back to related posts.

These are just my opinions and what works best for me and my husband. We have been married for 12 years and are intimate literally everyday! And usually at least three times a day!


  1. You are husband and wife. Don’t be afraid to voice your desires. After all his penis has already been in you, I mean how more intimate can it get than that?
  2. Women are like ovens, it takes a while for us to warm up. Do something out of the ordinary, talk about what you’re going to do to her later, or just pull her to the closet and give her a passionate kiss. Girls, wear some sexy underwear or none throughout the day!
  3. Be conscious of her monthly hormones. Women are more likely to try more things when we’re fertile and hormones are raging.
  4. When you have sex, leave on a light! (Men are visual and love to watch.)
  5. Be vocal! Nothing sounds better the sounds of pleasure from your spouse.
  6. Try new positions! After 12 years of marriage we find new ones on accident! This past week his foot ended on my head pressing me to the mattress and believe or not it was amazing.
  7. Make date night or lunch a priority, especially if you have kids! If the kids can crash at the grandparents house take them up on EVERY opportunity!

Oral Sex

  1. Hygiene and shave: it will make it more enjoyable for both!
  2. Watch your diet. Fruits and lots of water will lead to better tasting experience for both. Stay away from asparagus and onions.
  3. If you want her to swallow make sure you are not going to give her a full load. More is not always a good thing in this department. And let her know how much you enjoy it.
  4. Women, practice with your fingers and don’t worry if you gag, I don’t think any man would complain! It actually excited my husband more! If you feel as if you might vomit take a break and concentrate on his friends below — some kisses and licks will do the trick. After you recuperate get back to it!
  5. Make eye contact with your spouse to create a very intimate experience.
  6. Sometimes women do not know how amazing giving oral sex to a man can look. Record it and watch it back together later!
  7. Husbands, don’t forget about her! Ask her where she likes it and let her grab your head to steer you in the right direction.


  1. When my hubby first asked I thought he was crazy. We both have high libidos and “that time of the month” seems like eternity. I never in a million years thought I would enjoy it, but now we both have had some amazing orgasms this way.
  2. Prep! Just like for any other intimate act, cleaning is essential! Eat less that day. About two hours before sex I always feel better with a water enema to make sure every thing is clean. This might be TMI but I also inject about a tablespoon of organic coconut oil in my anus, right before we begin. That way you won’t have to stop during foreplay to lube up. Plus coconut oil is a natural anti-bacterial! We have used it for years, and it’s great lube for the vagina, too!
  3. Foreplay, and lots of it! Take it slow when you are entering. Very slow! And don’t pound as you would in vaginal sex.
  4. Position: Laying face down and bottom up seems to be easiest for beginners.


  1. One word: Magic wand. She will orgasm uncontrollably and you won’t even have to move! Even better to add during sex. My husband says my vaginal contractions are amazing when we use this. She might ejaculate too so don’t be surprised, she is not peeing! Taste it! It actually taste like sweet water.
  2. Straps! No need to spend a lot of money. Get heavy duty ace bandages and tie them to the bed post. Our favorite position is when I lay on my back and he ties my feet above my head.
  3. Ben wa balls and kegels. It will make sex more pleasurable for both of you and the orgasms will be even stronger!
  4. Doggy style tummy strap!
  5. Chairs! Enough said! Let your imagination run wild.

Got a question for Ellie? Want to share some of your own tips? Leave a comment!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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  1. Just a question about anal…where would you normally finish? Inside, outside, or in a condom? It sounds interesting to me but I don’t know if my wife would be up for trying at this point. Just like to have the information stored away for a later date. Thanks

      1. Thanks for the information. Is there any issues with clean up that way or is there any potential physical problems with that method?

        1. Clean up is easy. She just goes to the bath room like a bm and it all comes out. Plus coconut oil is an antibacterial so if you slip up with the wrong hole you will be less likely to have a bacterial infection. We have actually used both entrances back and forth with this several times and not have had issues before since the rectum was free of debris. But it is not adviced to do a lot of enemas bc this can lead to a dependency on them. Also if it hurts stop. You know your body more than anyone else!

      2. Ellie your breakdown of anal and oral sex was amazing! Could you give more insight on is there a frequency limit on anal sex? What is the turn on for you that keeps you desiring it from your husband? Do you initiate and why? Finally, what were the factors that stopped you from having anal sex in the beginning and what factors contribute to your continued enjoyment now?
        I know it is a lot of questions, but there are tons of men and i would say a few women that would like to know as well.
        BLESSINGS to you and your husband on such great marriage and sex life!

  2. After 42 years of marriage, we enjoy each other frequently. Of course we have “slowed down” a bit, but there are certain perks to our age:
    1 – We stopped placing pressure on each other years ago. If either one of us “needs / wants” release, we can ask and receive it freely.
    2 – Our house is empty – so touching, laughing and giggling about certain aspects of sexual play is spontaneous.
    3 – The pressure is off of performance and we can (and have for a long time) appreciate each other’s differences. Conversations flow easily and turn into sex or not, no forcing each other or begging.

    Some good experiences come with age. Of course some negatives are inherent as well. Enjoy every wonderful segment of your married sexuality. Kids at home? be spontaneous and supportive for each other’s needs. When you become “empty nesters” enjoy that freedom as well. Don’t harp on any physical limitations, adapt and appreciate the newest freedoms allowed by law!

    Most of all have fun with each other! Life is way toooooooo short to spend any moment creating toxins in your life-mate.

    Be sure to check out our blog and sing up for each genders newsletter – for wives leave your name and email address between the arrows. Husbands? Yours is next to the blog posts.
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  3. Neglected times for intense intimacy/sex is that much of your time together wasted. Sex isn’t all there is to your marriage; but without it – lots of it! – you miss out on a great deal of sweet opportunity for mutual up-building joy.

  4. Im not trying to be rude but I’m genuinley confused… you guys are chrisitans right? Didn’t God, in the bible, specifically say anal sex (sodomy) is wrong and we shouldn’t do it even if married? Again, I’m not trying to be disrepsectful I’m just looking for clarity because there is a verse in the bible that speaks about it.

    1. Hello! We’re happy to answer questions, and we don’t think you’re being disrespectful at all. You didn’t refer to a specific Bible verse, so it’s hard for me to know what you’re thinking of. The most relevant passages are Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, and of course Genesis 19. They all refer to homosexuality, not anal sex between a husband and wife. If there’s another passage that you believe prohibits anal sex between a husband and a wife I’d be happy to discuss it.

      1. I agree with El Fury! Too many in the Body will take a particular scripture and use it as the defining mark for all things that pertain to that scripture only in part. What I mean is that some ministries still tell women they cannot wear makeup or jewelry due to what Paul stated in 1 Timothy 2:9-10.
        You clearly must realize from these passages that Paul was speaking to saved women in this manner to warn them not to be a reflection or resemble one of the so-called priestesses of the time that adorned themselves like this as that had sex with various men and women to worship their false god!
        If the husband and wife agree on a particular sexual act that does not involve porn or any outside person in the flesh or virtual, then it is alright. When is the church going to stop aiding in the divorce rate of believers by trying to stop the one thing that would heal most marriages…UNHINDERED SEX DONE TO THE GLORY OF GOD!!!

      2. El Fury it never ceases to amaze me just how many people in the Body help in hurting someone else’s marriage or even their own by using scripture in a way to “unintentionally” hurt.
        An example is a married couple asked their pastor about anal sex and he said it was against God. Of course the married couple spoke of the marriage bed being undefiled but the pastor used the scriptures you mentioned basically against them.
        The issue was the wife has so much pain and tearing vaginally that their marriages was nearly over because they both wanted to please one another but could not. They ended up having anal sex literally by accident! The husband was dry on his foreskin and applied vaseline. His wife was just getting out of the shower and he hugged her from behind. Well long story short as he statred messing with her breast she started moaning and through her hand back to grab his but.
        He thought she was getting off on the breast stimulation until he started feeling as if he was about to have an orgasm. He looked down and was having anal sex with his wife and turns out this saved their marriage!
        I know this because it was shared and they asked if this was wrong (of course repeating what their pastor said). I asked them do they feel God is displeased with them enjoying each other as husband and wife. Needless to say they are an older couple and are now as frisky as people in the early 30s.
        Husbands and wives please njoy each other and stop allowing a spirit of religious persecution to dictate your marital happiness! BLESSINGS!!!

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