by ·0 Comments

Even when you have a healthy sex life there are sometimes outside circumstances that can prevent you from coming together with your spouse. El Fury and I recently went through one of these periods. We had family staying with us, both of us were sick, I was on my period, one of our kids was up all night for a few days in a row. We were both exhausted. Our sex life got out of whack for a few weeks and it made our relationship feel strained. We both felt stressed and like we weren’t connecting. I felt like I was being short with him and with our kids.

First Corinthians 7:5 says “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Now this verse is obviously talking about prayer, but the point is the same. You need to come together regularly with your spouse. If you deprive one another of sex it leaves you open to temptation. This could be temptation other than sexual immorality. When I feel like my relationship with EF is “off”, I am much less gentle, kind and loving toward everyone. I am more easily angered, selfish and self-pitying. Sex with your spouse sets the tone for your marriage.

EF and I were able to get back on track once things slowed down and we were healthy and well rested again. Coming together was a sweet reunion. But I hope we learned from this experience. No matter how crazy your life may seem at the moment, it’s not asking much to find 30 minutes to connect with your spouse. When you do, you can handle all the crazy with a much more gracious attitude.

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·5 Comments

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #010: How to Use a Wireless Vibrator in Public

We finally had our date night and tried the remote controlled vibrator! It was a naughty adventure. Going out with your spouse and having a sexy secret between the two of you is intoxicating. It doesn’t have to be a remote control vibrator. It could be lingerie, no panties, etc. Or it can be something you plan and share with your spouse partway through the date. One of my all-time favorite dates with El Fury was going out in a skirt, then writing “I’m not wearing panties” on a napkin and sliding it across the table to him. Completely changed the tone of our night together.

Back to last night. The first few times he buzzed me, it was startling and I jumped and gasped a little. So I recommend giving it a few test runs before you’re actually out in public. The car ride to our date location was very distracting (for both of us). It was definitely arousing, but not enough for me to orgasm. I thought it was really sexy to know that EF was thinking about pleasuring me, and loved seeing the sly smile on his face whenever he would use the remote control. Whenever we found a quiet corner I pulled him to the side to make out and fondle him a little. Letting him have that control was a huge turn-on. At one point he let it go so long I started unintentionally touching him to the rhythm of the vibrator. I felt very close and connected to him.

Needless to say, we had sex when we got home!

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·9 Comments

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #010: How to Use a Wireless Vibrator in Public

(Part 1, Part 2, and Sexy Corte’s account of being on the receiving end.)

Wow, part 1 was written in October of 2014! Finally, almost a year-and-a-half later the stars aligned. We may not be so picky next time, but we wanted things to go smoothly the first time.

  • The right kind of event: public, and loud enough to avoid attention.
  • Alone in a crowd: we weren’t going with anyone we knew.
  • Sedate: no physical exertion required besides walking.
  • Health and wellness: no colds, periods, or exhaustion to contend with.

This is the vibrator we used: Sensuelle Wireless Bullet 10-Function. I’m not sure if this specific one is available anymore, but the brand has other options.

remote control vibrator black

Overall, we were very pleased with the vibrator.

  • High quality construction.
  • Decent power. Not as strong as a AA-battery egg vibrator, but more than strong enough to get Sexy Corte’s attention. The first few times I turned it on she jumped and yelped. (So. Hot.)
  • The ten functions were fun to play with! There’s no way to tell what function you’re on from the remote, but when we held hands on SC’s lap I could feel the vibration pattern through her body. (So. Hot.)
  • The battery life was good, but not great. I’d estimate about 30 minutes of vibration time total.

The entire experience was extremely sexy. I loved the control aspect of being able to buzz her at will, and it was sexy as heck to watch her face flush as she got turned on. There were two times during the night when we were sitting for extended periods and I let the vibrator run for 5-10 minutes straight; I could tell SC was getting worked up from her breathing and the way she was leaning into me and rubbing my hand. Just knowing how aroused she was in public was a huge turn-on for me, and wonderfully distracting for both of us.

The only slight negative to the experience was due to two factors: duration and friction. I had installed the vibrator in SC’s panties so that it was directly in contact with her skin, for maximum stimulation. However, our date was four hours long and the friction of the vibrator surface rubbing against her sensitive bits for that long caused some irritation by the end of the night. (It wasn’t the vibration that was irritating, just the long-term friction of the surface against her skin.) I’ve ordered some panties with a built-in cloth pouch that I hope will mitigate this problem in two ways: first, the the vibrator won’t be in direct contact with her skin; second, the vibrator will be easy to insert and remove. (See the image at the top of the post.)

The whole experience was amazing. Watching, hearing, and feeling my wife respond to the vibrator under my control was insanely sexy, and we’re excited to do it again.

(Stay tuned for Sexy Corte’s perspective tomorrow.)

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·5 Comments

Sexy Corte has Pavlov’ed me to get turned on whenever I see her put her hair up. When we’re getting into sexy time, especially Old Faithful, pulling her hair up is usually the final bit of preparation. No matter if we’re alone or in public it really gets me going, especially when she catches my eye in the process. It isn’t just seeing her hair up that does it, it’s seeing her in the act of putting her hair up that turns me on.

Are there any non-sexual things your spouse does that turn you on?

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·0 Comments

They say that whatever you do on New Year’s Eve you’ll repeat every day for the next year. So what are you plans for today? Sure, there’s all sorts of busyness and partying to do, but how about with your spouse?

Sexy Corte and I have a few things planned:

  • Run and lift weights.
  • Spend some one-on-one time with each kid.
  • Check out a new grocery store (so exciting!).
  • But the real fun begins after the kids are in bed…
  • Eat steaks and drink wine.
  • Talk about our goals for 2016.
  • Make love in a new-ish way for us: doggy style using a wand vibrator.
  • And probably play board games together. Yeah, we’re that awesome!

So what are your plans for today? Happy New Year!

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·2 Comments

Boy, I feel dumb! Sexy Corte and I had some sexy plans lined up and I jokingly canceled them because I thought she wouldn’t want to do anything too noisy while we had family staying at our house. Based on that assumption I said, well, maybe next week. I didn’t realize that my assumption left my lovely bride feeling rejected, deflated, and sexually unfulfilled.

Communicating about sex is hard! I thought I had a good read on my wife, but sometimes a message just doesn’t click and both spouses can feel confused and rejected without anyone intending it. Sexy Corte and I wanted the same thing, but neither of us thought the other wanted it. It’s funny in a sitcom, but not so much in real life.

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·6 Comments

Here’s a fun game for you and your spouse : one spouse (the Storyteller) tells a naughty story while the other spouse (the Distractor) attempts to distract the Storyteller sexually.

Step 1: Decide who is the first Storyteller. Sock wrestle if you can’t decide some other way.

Step 2: Print out the roll-all-the-dice naughty story table and grab some dice. Alternatively, pull up the naughty story generator on your mobile device.

Step 3: The Storyteller either rolls the dice or loads the story generator to get her challenge. Start telling the story — make it naughty and coherent.

Step 4: The Distractor uses his mouth, tongue, hands, fingers, or sexy movements to distract the Storyteller from her task. Advanced mode: every time the Storyteller says “uhhhh” or stalls she gets a swat on the butt.

Step 5: When the story is done, swap roles. Repeat until you give up and have sex.

It’s a simple game that adds a little challenge to your encounter with your spouse. Let us know how it goes for you!

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·16 Comments

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #012: The Bifecta – Combining Sex With Another Activity

We’ve written about the trifecta previously — as inspired by Seinfeld: sex + food + television. This post is about the sex + television bifecta. We don’t watch a lot of television, but it can be a nice way to relax after the kids are in bed if we’re not up for a game or something more edifying. We’ve historically had mixed results combining sex and television, as I wrote:

Normally what this Bifecta means to us is that one of us starts twiddling with the other after we’ve finished our ice cream. I personally love watching television while SC plays with me, but when the roles are reversed she gets very antsy and frustrated. Usually we end up pausing the show and having sex, which is why I say the results are mixed.

However, great news! I think we’ve discovered the best way to combine television and sex: casual blow jobs. What do I mean by casual? Simply that the goal isn’t an orgasm. Sexy Corte is always generous when I suggest something new, and she agreed to lay on the couch with her head on my stomach while we watched a sitcom on Netflix, and she licked and nibbled and sucked through a whole episode. We talked and laughed together as we watched, and I was able to pet her hair and rub her back while she did her thing.

Frankly, it was pretty amazing: intensely erotic and intimate. With the focus on intimacy rather than orgasm we escalated slowly and were able to enjoy two aspects of togetherness at the same time: erotic touch and humorous conversation. By the end of the episode I was obviously ready to explode.

As you’re reading this you might be thinking: well, that’s pretty one-sided. True. Sexy Corte was sexually out of commission that evening, but like I said, she’s generous. I’m excited to see if I can find a way to casually play with her without driving her up the wall with frustration. (Update: Use the Zoom Technique on your wife while watching television.)

Do you have any suggestions for casual sexuality? Extended eroticism without the goal of an imminent orgasm?

If you liked this, please share it!