El Fury and I found ourselves on an unexpected date recently. We were in the middle of a 3 1/2 hour car ride. The kids were all asleep in the back. We were listening to old music, talking, laughing. The sounds of the 90’s reminded us of high school. It was a blast! We lost track of time as the miles flew by. I realized I felt like I was on a date with my husband. It was reassuring to know that we could still spontaneously connect, even with all the kids in the car.

What are ways you have found to “date” while not on a date?

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If you say “Beehive Hut” around me or El Fury, you are bound to get a mysterious reaction. A knowing smile from him, maybe a blush from me. I couldn’t tell you exactly where the particular Beehive Hut in mention is actually located, but they all have a similar appearance to the one pictured.

El Fury and I went on our honeymoon exactly 6 months after we got married. As we were on a scenic drive around a beautiful coastline, we saw signs for a Beehive Hut. It sounded interesting, so we pulled over. A little old lady in a little old house apparently owned a really old historic landmark. She was charging 1 Euro, so we debated some before paying up. We were granted access to walk around her house and up a hill to the Hut.

It wasn’t anything extraordinary. The inside looked much like the outside, only very dark and quiet. We joked around about doing it inside. Our light banter led to some pretty heavy kissing, which then led to some questioning. “Really?” “Would you?” “Yeah, if you would.” “Seriously?” “What if someone walks in?” “Let’s just do it.” So we did. I bent over and El Fury took me right there. After, we composed ourselves and took a few pictures of us kissing in front. The timing was great. As we were leaving there were a few people walking up to see the Hut. We looked at each other knowingly and went on our way. We both felt it was 1 Euro well spent.

Our time in the Beehive Hut was short, but we remember it often. I think we learned a lot about each other in that moment. We are a lot more sexually daring and adventurous than I had ever dreamed we would be. This experience has spawned a whole lot of other fun sexual escapades. The vast majority of our sex life is spent in our bedroom, but the times outside the bedroom are the ones we remember the most. I think it’s important to create sexual memories with your spouse.

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This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #012: The Bifecta – Combining Sex With Another Activity

In Seinfeld George Costanza decides to improve his sex life by adding food and television, creating “the Trifecta”. Hilarity ensues:

However, George’s girlfriend becomes displeased upon discovering him eating a pastrami sandwich while watching a portable TV during foreplay. This later creates problems for George, as he cannot eat anything without becoming aroused.

George was on to something, but apparently he didn’t have the skill or prowess to execute successfully. Lucky for you, Sexy Corte and I have tried all three versions of the Bifecta and I’m here to report the results!

Food and television: A great combination, but we recommend it for snacks rather than a major meal. We prefer to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the table as a family. However, after the kids go to sleep you might catch me and SC on the couch with some wine and ice cream.

Food and sex: Another winner! George’s major mistake was failing to bring his woman in on his food-play. Sexy Corte and I have gone through numerous cans of whipped cream on each other, and it’s probably our favorite sex food. It is fun to spray, cleans up easily, and doesn’t stain. The texture and temperature are great. Chocolate sauce other other sweets can be enjoyable, but so far we haven’t found anything as good as whipped cream. Are there any other foods we’re missing out on? (I don’t think we’re going to attempt to incorporate a pastrami sandwich.)

Sex and television: We’ve had mixed results. Normally what this Bifecta means to us is that one of us starts twiddling with the other after we’ve finished our ice cream. I personally love watching television while SC plays with me, but when the roles are reversed she gets very antsy and frustrated. Usually we end up pausing the show and having sex, which is why I say the results are mixed. Since we don’t want to watch porn together, are there any shows or movies that would particularly lend themselves to viewing during sex?

The Trifecta: We’ve never attempted the Trifecta… the closest we’ve gotten was one time when SC started sucking me off while I finished my ice cream. Things escalated from there, but no food or television was involved. I’m not convinced that the Trifecta is worth perfecting.

What’s your experience? Do you have an alternate Trifecta we need to try?

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El Fury: Steak is such an easy dinner. I mean, there’s no sauce, no ingredients, nothing.

Sexy Corte: Sure.

EF: You just stick it in for eight minutes, flip, five more minutes, and you’re done.

SC: Just like sex.

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Since Sexy Corte just brought up our Sexy-Time check list I may well elaborate on our game of Naked Marco Polo. In case you aren’t familiar with the family-safe version of the game, the basics are simple: one person is blindfolded and has to catch the other; whenever the seeker says “Marco”, the evader has to say “Polo”. Then you run around the room taking turns trying to catch each other and escape.

Naked Marco Polo is much more fun, because the seeker gets a reward when he catches the evader. For Sexy Corte and I, the rewards started with 30 seconds of foreplay for the seeker: some licking, rubbing, kissing, or whatever the seeker wanted. Then we handed off the blindfold and swapped roles.

We were playing in the Sex Room (i.e., the Master Bedroom) and it was pretty easy to catch each other. The rewards quickly turned into sex, and the game ended in a predictable fashion. A good time was had by all, but next time we play we may have to use the whole house after the kids go to sleep.

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El Fury and I started a list of sexy-time activities. It’s an active list that we add to when we think of something sexual we want to try. The idea is that whenever we are in the mood for something different, we have a plethora of ideas to choose from.

The other night after the kids went to bed, we checked our first item off the list: “Naked Marco Polo”. As you can probably guess, we took turns being blind folded and chased each other around our bedroom, while being naked of course. I was a pretty easy target since I couldn’t stop laughing. However, I did manage to out-maneuver El Fury longer. We only lasted a few rounds until we got too distracted.

It’s fun to laugh and be playful with your spouse. This is the person you are spending your life with, you may as well have fun together!

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In general, we aren’t big fans of sex in the shower. It is often a cramped space, so finding the right position is difficult. I am not a flexible person, so we are pretty limited. Also, even though it’s really wet, it’s not the right kind of wet. (side note: if you do enjoy sex in the shower, we found a lube called Gun Oil works great.) In most cases, we use the shower for foreplay.

There are, however, certain occasions when the shower comes in really handy. On our last trip to visit family, we were having a hard time getting in our normal sexy time. Between sleeping on a twin bed and twin air mattress, the thin walls, and all the people around, it was not exactly an environment conducive to bedroom activities.

As we were getting ready, El Fury hopped in the shower with me. We were discussing our frustrations and realized we had an opportunity right then and there. The door was locked, the fan and shower muffled the noise, we were both already naked. I bent over and we did it. The spontaneity of it made it really hot too!

Shower sex is great in the right situation. But, I still prefer it on dry land.

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That is what I used to think. Fortunately for me, I have a husband who is diligent and cares about my orgasm as well as his own. It didn’t take long for him to figure out how to bring me to climax manually (my thoughts: “oh, that’s where the clitoris is!”) However, it took a while for us to figure out how to get me there with intercourse. We tried a lot of different positions, but unless my clit is directly stimulated, I am not able to orgasm.

One night we were trying to be efficient (let’s face it, reaching climax manually takes some time!) and we tried using a “silver bullet” vibrator while I was on top. WOW! It was a totally different type of orgasm. Now this is my favorite position. I try to savor it, but sometimes I reach climax embarrassingly fast. This is a long ways from when I used to think I would never be able to orgasm.

God made our bodies to be able to experience pleasure inside of marriage. Sometimes it takes work to figure out how to experience that pleasure! I’m so glad we kept trying!

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We love guacamole, and love to make guacamole. It used to be an elaborate process, involving a multitude of fresh ingredients, such as salsa, cilantro, parmesan, and for a little extra kick, serrano peppers. One particular night, El Fury made this concoction. We ate, we enjoyed, and then we relaxed on the couch watching a show.

After a while we must have gotten distracted because we started kissing, which led to other things. I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination, but I felt a nice warmth. It wasn’t long before that nice warmth turned into a soft burn, and then what felt like a raging fire in my lady bits. Needless to say, the mood went straight from sexy to “make it stop!” pretty quick. I awkwardly ran upstairs and jumped in the shower. Seeing as the burning was coming from inside me, this didn’t really help all that much. El Fury helped by washing his hands then standing nearby asking for status updates.

If anyone has ever cooked with chiles, you know the oil doesn’t really wash off, it just takes time to come off. So was the case with my lady bits. After a while the burn cooled to a simmer, then subsided completely. When the incident was fresh I felt pretty wounded. After some time passed, we started to laugh about it, and eventually it became one of our favorite sex stories, even though we didn’t even have sex that night!

I did learn that sex can be funny! That’s the amazing thing about sex with your spouse, nothing is embarrassing. It’s not always perfect, and the imperfect times can give you something to laugh about. Has anyone else had a run-in with chiles? Or have any funny sex stories?

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El Fury: Do you want to go to bed?

Secy Corte: What ever gave you that idea?

EF: In the shower you were sucking my dick in a kinda sexual way.

SC: No, that was just a friendly suck.  Sorry to give you the wrong impression.

EF: Well, this is awkward.

(Of course, we did go to bed.)

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