Tag: anatomy

Sex Q&A: Dominance Play, Tickling, Doggy Style Angle

March 9, 2022 by El Fury·2 Comments

A few questions from the mail bag.

Husband “TT” asks:

I am a 73 years old man, and my wife is 64. We have been married 8 years; my previous wife died of cancer, and my wife is divorced. Our first few years of marriage we had a great sexual relationship. We were sexually active and, in my opinion, especially so for our age. Unfortunately, we are now down to having about once per month, if that often. I recently read that sex therapists consider 10 times or less per year is a “sexless marriage” so we are in the range of now having a “sexless marriage”.

In the next two weeks, we are planning a three-day weekend retreat to review 2021 and plan for 2022 and beyond. We have periodically had retreats like this and have found them very beneficial as a couple. This year I am adding a discussion of our sexual relationship to the agenda to being this issue to the forefront for us to talk about.

With all of this as “background” information this leads me to why I am writing you.

To revitalize our sexual relationship plus, and very importantly, fulfill a many years’ fantasy of mine, at our retreat my desire is to ask my wife to do a special role play with me. The role play is for her to dominate me, i.e., for me to be submissive to her, both sexually and otherwise for a period of time (maybe a week?).

My questions for you are:
1. Am I undermining myself as the leader of our home and marriage?
2. Is being dominated by my wife an un-Christian act even as a role play for a short period of time?
3. Is there better terminology than dominate and submissive that I can use that might be less of a turn-off for her?
4. Have you ever heard of other husbands wanting this?
5. Am I being selfish asking this of my wife?

Sexy Corte responded:

I am sure that you are not alone in your desire/fantasy! El Fury and I believe that if both spouses are willing, and the act is between the husband and wife only, then it is allowed in the marriage (see: Can we *BLANK*?). I don’t believe that you are undermining your role as a husband, or that it is un-Christian. However, I would advise against anything that would violate your conscience, or the conscience of your wife. It sounds like you already plan on communicating with your wife. God gave us a lot of freedom within the boundaries of marriage, and our belief is that sex that brings intimacy is honoring to marriage and to God.
Let us know how it goes!

To which “TT” replied:

Thank you for your comments/words of support to my situation. It would have been very easy for you to have just “shut me down” and/or rebuked me for my different desires.
Let me bring you update as to what happened when I proposed this on our retreat weekend. First, yes, I did propose the idea to my wife as a “role-play”; in other words, I didn’t wimp out and not say anything. I had not mentioned in my email that she has an acting background; consequently, she has previously enjoyed acting out a sexy scenario and always put a lot of energy into her particular role. And, always with wonderful results. This time, she didn’t shy away from my proposal but neither did she embrace it. She agreed to try it and we started on a Saturday morning and ended on Sunday afternoon. It was easy for her to be demanding/controlling; it fit her basic personality. I was obedient and did what I was instructed to do; always answering her “Yes, ma’am”. The commands ranged from making the bed to helping cook dinner. For me it was extremely exotic to be obedient to her and, when we made love on Sunday night, it was beyond wonderful. However, her only comment was “this is a little weird”.
Since it ended neither of us have mentioned it, but I plan to propose it again soon.

Good for “TT” and his wife for trying something “a little weird” and having fun.

Husband “RC” writes:

I find bondage with tickling very arousing. My wife, like most people, hates being tickled. I also hate being tickled, however as my wife and I have explored bondage more over the past year, she now finds tying me up and tickling me quite arousing.
This is both good and bad as you can imagine.
Have you guys ever explored this sort of thing? What was the result? If it was something your spouse didn’t want to do, but you were none the less highly aroused by it, would you just give up and stop asking because you already know it’s not pleasant for her/him?
As a Christian I’ve always felt kind of ashamed and a bit of a weirdo for wanting to try this.

To which El Fury replied:

Sexy Corte hates being tickled. I enjoy tickling but not being tickled. So… this isn’t something we’ve tried, but I’d like to tie Sexy Corte up and tickle her if she’d let me.

The next two emails are some husbands with questions about doggy style. Husband “JA” writes:

My question is spurred by your Christmas Eve sex post. We’ve not really been successful in the dozen or so attempts of “from behind” positions over the years. When my wife starts on all fours she eventually drops her hips and ends up more prone as she says the angle isn’t right. I’ve not pushed it (nor do I intend to now), but she recently was open to trying with the liberator ramp and wedge we have.

Some possible complicating factors include our height difference (I’m of average American male height and she’s about 5′-0″) and my erection angle/inflexibility. When I’m erect, my penis is about 15-20° from my belly (which is relatively vertical, I’m not overweight). At about straight out it becomes uncomfortable and would certainly exert some vertical force if we managed to get into the position.

Do you have any tips to ease into doggy style? Do you notice a certain part of her cycle is better for behind positions? My wife certainly prefers on top before ovulation and me on top after ovulation.

With a similar question, Husband “GS” writes:

I have a practical question for you, sir: I have a very straight-up and firm erection with some ability to bend back down but not a lot, probably a little less than 45 degrees back down. Obviously, this does have its benefits because of the firmness, and I believe it has been a part of helping my wife have orgasms probably 95% of the time throughout our marriage. But, it’s not too flexible. My wife and I usually do positions that are parallel, slight variations of missionary and also she on top facing me, which are all totally fine. She has an amazing behind, but with my erection angle (and average penis length), it’s difficult to enter her from behind. Are there any other positions, types of positions, or any tips you would recommend for intercourse with my angle and firmness? (This would be advice about intercourse, not alternatives like oral.)

To these emails El Fury replied:

We have written quite a bit about doggy style position, so I suggest you start with some of these posts. Given your anatomy, your wife may need to hold herself more upright in order to make doggy style work for you. There are lot of other rear-entry variations that you may enjoy, and it sounds like jockey position might be well-suited for you.
You should also check out this post about arching your back — but you’ll want your wife to round her back rather than arching it, in order to put her vagina at a more comfortable angle for you.
Because of the depth of penetration with doggy style, Sexy Corte prefers to move into this position after she has an orgasm. Some people don’t realize this, but vaginas elongate during arousal; deep penetration will be more comfortable the more aroused the wife is.

“GS” continued with some wonderful aspirations his sex life with his wife.

On another note, I recently discovered your podcast and site because, at 39 and after fourteen years of marriage (on January 5 this year), I want to pour into the parts of my life that are the most meaningful instead of superfluous things, and at the top of my list is me and my wife’s sex life: to deepen it, to be adventurous, to be a student of her body, to help make it our favorite hobby, and to finally be bold in talking about the sex we have. (E.g. I absolutely love using our hands, but we’ve only ever done that once to orgasm.) We haven’t been open very often over the years; I lack confidence in asserting my suggestions, and she’s the kind of woman who enjoys predictability. Our sex has been extremely good and has gotten better with age, but, like with my wife’s personality, it’s predictable (even as much as I enjoy it 99.99% of the time).
Last week, I told her that I’d love to finally talk more openly about our sex life, and she was excited and totally on board! I’m hopeful that she wants to explore in ways that I do and be adventurous and attentive to each other’s bodies in ways that God designed them to be to enjoy sex on an intense level. We’re going to begin talking on our anniversary on Wednesday, so any prayers you and Sexy Corte can offer for a couple you’ve never interacted with, I would gladly accept! Prayers for a fun, relaxing, honest conversation where she feels desired by me (and me desired by her), that she understands I want to drive her crazy in a godly way, and that it’s a conversation we both want to continue as immediately as possible. (I will recommend this site to her, but I don’t think she’s comfortable with how explicit it is yet; a lot of the terminology and techniques aren’t in our sexy vocabulary. Perhaps over time! I’m thinking of suggesting the latest podcast episode as a great lead-in to the rest of the site.)

We definitely prayed for “GS” and his wife! We always pray for the people who write to us, and we’re always excited to hear about how God is working in the lives of our readers.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will never reveal your name or any other identifying information.

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Ten Types of Female Orgasms???

September 11, 2020 by El Fury·13 Comments

The female body is pretty amazing, but can women really have ten kinds of orgasms? Sexy Corte and I will tackle this topic together.

(Note: This post will refer to the diagrams in our earlier post, All About Female Orgasms (Safe Diagrams) which covers some of the orgasm types described below.)

1. Clitoral orgasms.

El Fury: Obviously yes, despite the fact that some men don’t seem to know how to rub a clitoris. (diagram)

Sexy Corte: I’m amazed at how tiny a clitoris is, and how it can make me feel such big things. Clitoral stimulation is how I orgasm. That’s it. Other techniques listed below can heighten that experience, but without focused stimulation on my clitoris, it doesn’t go anywhere. It can take 20-30 minutes of focus to get to orgasm, and sometimes even longer. Husbands, my best advice to make your wife love sex is to learn to navigate her clitoris. Use your hand or a vibrator, you will know when you are on the right track. Human females are the only females that can orgasm. What a gift from God!

2. Vaginal orgasms.
For many of us, this type of orgasm remains elusive. That’s because most women (50-75 percent) can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone.
… another researcher found that part of the vagina (where the G-spot zone is located) is inextricably linked with the internal parts of the clitoris. Thus, “vaginal” orgasms could actually be clitoral orgasms by another name.

El Fury: This is the idealized kind of orgasm that you see depicted in movie love scenes. They’re real, and some women can have them easily, but most women benefit from clitoral stimulation.

Sexy Corte: I am one of the majority that cannot orgasm this way. However, my favorite way to orgasm is with vaginal sex combined with EF using a vibrator on my clitoris. Never gets old.

3. G-spot orgasms.
The G-spot is an orgasmic erogenous zone on the front wall of the vagina and is made up of the urethral sponge and Female Erectile Network. It swells upon arousal, and G-spot orgasms are said to be more intense, longer-lasting, and more full-bodied than clitoral orgasms.
Hitting the G-spot can also result in female ejaculation or “squirting.”

El Fury: The G-spot combined with internal parts of the clitoris probably lead to what people call “vaginal orgasms”, discussed above. Curling two fingers in a “come here” motion inside the vagina is the easiest way to manually stimulate the G-spot (diagram).

Sexy Corte: When EF has tried to stimulate this area it hasn’t done much for me, but I’m open to keep trying.

4. Cervical orgasms.
Many women don’t even know this type of orgasm is possible. The cervix itself, lies at the very back of the vagina, past the G-spot. It’s the entrance to a woman’s uterus and protrudes into the vagina like a rounded button resembling the head of a penis.
Cervical orgasms have been described as deeper, full-bodied, expanded orgasms, like an ecstatic tingling experience or “a shower of stars.”
While clitoral orgasms have a quick peak and release, G-spot and cervical orgasm come in waves of bliss, with a pleasurable sensation that can last for hours. Some women say that cervical orgasms are almost “spiritual” in nature.

El Fury: The whole area around the cervix seems to be sensitive to stimulation. In addition to the cervix itself, the anterior fornix (diagram) and posterior fornix (diagram) can be stimulated for orgasms.

Sexy Corte: Hmm, this sounds like a necessary experience. Let’s try to achieve this soon!

5. U-spot orgasms.
This tiny orgasmic spot is just above your urethral opening but is often neglected, poor thing. The U-spot is a highly sensitive erogenous zone that can create strong orgasms and also takes part in female ejaculation.
It is located in the vulva, just above the vagina and below the clitoris, surrounding the urethra opening (above and to either side) like an upside-down “U.” It is a highly-sensitive bundle of nerves, as well as erectile tissue that can feel extremely erotic when stimulated.

El Fury: This seems likely to be another extension of the clitoris.

Sexy Corte: This whole area is sensitive, and stimulation here is required for me to orgasm. Keeping stimulation focused here during sex makes the experience amazing.

6. Anal orgasms.
This type of orgasm is on people’s bucket list more and more. Why? The anus opening and anal canal are distinct erogenous zones on their own, rich in nerve endings and super-sensitive to stimulation and penetration.
The “rosebud,” or anal opening enjoys soft sensual massage with lots of lubricant. The anus itself should be penetrated very slowly, based on the receiver’s preference.
Stimulation of the anus, perineum, and rectum can engage the pelvic and pudendal nerves, which are implicated in the orgasmic response.

El Fury: Well, we’re working on this intermittently. Anal stimulation seems to be most pleasurable when combined with clitoral stimulation.

Sexy Corte: It is arousing when EF plays around in that area. Actual penetration is currently more distracting than arousing. If he is playing around there it can make my orgasm more intense.

7. Throat-gasms.
This type of orgasm is a bit strange, I’ll admit. But reportedly, women can experience an oral or throat orgasm during oral sex on a penis, particularly when they are deep-throating while giving a blow job (a dildo also works).
The throat is connected to the vagus nerve, cervix, and uterus, according to orgasm researchers Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk, which can trigger orgasms.
That’s why moaning and making lots of sounds during sex or solo pleasure is a good thing. It increases your orgasmic potential and helps to move the orgasmic energy throughout the body.
Full-body orgasms? Yes, please!
And, get this: The mouth and throat are highly-sensitive erogenous zones that contain more nerve endings than the vagina.

El Fury: I’ve written several times about how awesome it is for Sexy Corte to have an orgasm while performing oral sex on me. It’s one of my favorite things in the world. I suppose the world would be a better place if semen tasted like chocolate and women could have orgasms from deep-throating, but this seems incredibly far-fetched to me.

On the other hand, I completely agree that audible sexual responsiveness really improves sex. Talking, moaning, yelling, and crying out during sex will definitely intensify the experience.

Sexy Corte: I do orgasm while giving EF oral, but that is the direct cause of him stimulating my clitoris at the same time. I definitely agree that a good moan gets me going. I respond in an auditory way, which is helpful for EF to know if he is on the right track. If all of the kids are out of the house it’s really fun to let loose!

8. Nipplegasms.
This type of orgasm is luscious and sensual. A nipplegasm is an orgasm that results from nipple stimulation. Approximately 29 percent of women have said they experience these types of orgasms.
Studies done with brain imaging (fMRI) machines now prove that the same part of the brain, known as the “genital sensory cortex,” lights up when the nipples are stimulated, the exact same area that lights up when the clitoris and vagina are stimulated.
So, the nipples and breasts like the genitals can be highly orgasmic.
Sucking on the nipples releases the “love hormone” oxytocin, which is responsible for producing contractions in the uterus, and can produce orgasms. It is also the feel-good-after-sex hormone that makes you all dreamy and lovey-dovey.

El Fury: Breasts and nipples are great, and stimulating them can certainly lead to arousal. But orgasm?

Sexy Corte: My nipple sensitivity emerged after breast-feeding our first child. That event awakened something and made me feel arousal when EF would touch my breasts. It heightens arousal but I have never had an orgasm from nipple play.

9. Body-gasms.
These types of orgasm can seem mythical, until you actually experience them.
Expanded or full-body orgasms are those that are not localized to just the genital region, but can spread all over the body. This can happen when multiple erogenous zones are stimulated simultaneously, such as a combination orgasm with the clitoris and G-spot.
These type of orgasms can lead to multiple orgasms, and “super orgasms” (continuous or long-lasting orgasms). Energy orgasms can also spread through the entire body, as well.

El Fury: I love giving Sexy Corte powerful orgasms and multiple orgasms, and those two things often go together. Even though they take work on both our parts to accomplish, they’re well worth it.

Sexy Corte: I have never experienced this, but I have had orgasms that I have felt in other areas of my body. For example, I’ve had an orgasm that produced such a strong emotion that I cried. Orgasms do impact my body in a way that I shake after for a while. They feel super, but I’m not sure I’ve experienced the super orgasm.

10. Mindgasms.
This type of orgasm seems a bit “out there,” as in out-of-body experience. Mindgasms, also called breath and energy orgasms, are a type of full-body orgasm that may begin in the genitals, but then the raw sexual energy is channeled up the chakras and throughout the body.
Both men and women can experience full-body, breath, and energy orgasms, and it requires no direct stimulation of the genitals. Yes, that means hands-free. It can be a sexual experience, a very spiritual and enlightening experience, or both.
This type of amazing orgasm has been described as feeling like waves of ecstatic, electric energy coursing through your entire body and making you tingle all over. They can last much longer than ordinary orgasms, even hours, with the after-glow effects lasting even days.

El Fury: I’ve heard of this, but never experienced it. Our bodies can do strange and incredible things, and using breathing techniques to induce altered mental states via hypoxia is an age-old practice. But hands-free, no-touch orgasms? I’m guess skeptical.

Sexy Corte: I think this would be really fun to try, although I am skeptical we could achieve orgasm this way. It sounds sexy to sit with your spouse, not touch each other, but guide each other to arousal only through communication without touch. Then move on to touching!

We’d be really curious to hear from our female readers: how many of these orgasms have you had? What’s next on your bucket list? Leave a comment below!

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All About Female Orgasms (Safe Diagrams)

June 11, 2019 by El Fury·6 Comments

Based on emails we receive it seems that many wives sometimes have a difficult time reaching orgasm, which can be frustrating and demoralizing for both spouses. This difficulty can make the husband feel inadequate, and make the wife disappointed, resentful, or even angry. Don’t settle for frustration — it’s worth time and energy from both spouses to learn how to give the wife amazing orgasms!

We’ve written several posts on the topic of female orgasms:

Wow, that’s a lot of posts. I guess we take the female orgasm pretty seriously around here! You should too. If your sex life is mediocre or struggling, improving the wife’s orgasm frequency and quality certainly can’t hurt.

So then, the primary purpose of this post is to share some informative graphics with you, originally created by VoyeurOfBliss. The graphics describe various types of female orgasm and include safe anatomical diagrams that illustrate the important points. These graphics will be useful to both husbands and wives — Sexy Corte says the diagrams taught her some new things about her own body.

Click on each tiny image and a larger version will appear.