by ·1 Comment

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #014: A Few Sexy Halloween Games

In the Victorian era, Halloween was less about scares than about finding true love. If you think modern Halloween is excessively sexualized, you may not want to read about how they partied in the early 20th century.

A century ago, the rituals surrounding the celebration at the end of October emphasized love. Newspapers recommended parlor games that promised to reveal romantic fortune. Even the cast of characters was more oriented toward matters of the heart.

“Halloween in the early 20th century had far less emphasis on blood, gore and scary monsters, and much more emphasis on courtship, romance and the opportunity for love,” Daniel Gifford, the former manager of museum advisory committees for the Smithsonian National Museum of American History explained in a museum blog post last year.

“In fact, the image of Cupid was often interspersed among the more familiar black cats, witches and jack-o’-lanterns.”

For Halloween maybe you and your spouse can play a fun Victorian game like snap apple! The image above will give you an idea of how to get started — it’s a seasonal bifecta! You can also check out the sexy Halloween games we posted way back in 2014, and leave your own ideas in the comments below.

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·1 Comment

We’ve written a lot about how good sex is for your health, so it shouldn’t surprise you that sex is also helpful for reducing the risk and impact of atherosclerosis (the build up of fatty deposits in the arteries that can lead to heart disease and stroke).

According to von Borstel, exerting yourself between the sheets is one of the most beneficial exercises you can do for your heart. “As well as an entire cardiac workout, before and during intercourse there is a big release of hormones that have a protective effect on our cardiovascular system,” he explains.

An orgasm can release 50 different chemical messengers. One substance, oxytocin, the so-called cuddle hormone, triggered by affectionate physical contact, is proven to lower blood pressure, promote the healing of wounds and reduce stress.

Endorphin is another useful hormone released during sex – this helps to lower heart rate and blood pressure to the heart muscle during exercise. Meanwhile, both oestrogen, which is anti-inflammatory, and testosterone, which lowers cholesterol levels in the blood, receive a boost through sex, too. High cholesterol causes fatty deposits in blood vessels to attach to artery walls, causing clogging and arteriosclerosis, says von Borstel, who recommends having “as much loving sex as possible”.

As for garlic, it’s obviously the king of seasonings, but did you know that it’s neither a spice nor an herb? It’s technically an aromatic vegetable like its relation the onion — and a member of the lily family. Lilies? Where have we read about those before?

Song of Solomon 2:1-2

She

I am a rose of Sharon,
    a lily of the valleys.

He

Like a lily among thorns
    is my darling among the young women.

If wood is the ancient metaphor for the penis, the equivalent image for the female is the flower. The Lover’s member is a massive cedar, and his Beloved’s girly bits are a beautiful lily — compared to her, the other young women are thorns and thistles.

Eat up! (Although I grant that “lily” is a more appealing metaphor than “garlic” when it comes to a wife’s intimate parts.)

In addition to tasting great, eating garlic (and onions) can help promote the health of your circulatory system.

“Vegetables and fruits have secondary phytochemicals that have the same effect as different [heart protective] medications but not in a dose that is dangerous for your body,” says von Borstel. He cites ginger, onions and garlic as blood thinners which promote blood flow through vessels and improved blood supply to organ and tissues, and recommends grating a teaspoon of root ginger or two or three teaspoons of grated garlic into a glass of water a day to naturally reduce blood pressure.

“As long as you eat in a balanced way, it is no problem to eat these every day,” he says. Allicin, the key ingredient found in garlic and onions, is thought to act on the kidneys, changing levels of hormones and dilating the blood vessels. Research by the Institute of Food Research found that eating a 100g to 200g serving of onions (one to two onions) had the biggest impact on inflammation.

Eating a “lily” probably wouldn’t hurt either! Can anyone suggest a new heart-healthy bifecta that brings together sex and garlic in a fun and exciting way?

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·15 Comments

Our Sensuelle Wireless Bullet vibrator finally bit the dust a few days ago after almost a year of thrice-weekly use. You may remember that we originally bought this vibrator for Sexy Corte to wear in public with my finger on the button, and it was great for that purpose! However, the vibrator was so good that it became our go-to toy almost every time Sexy Corte wanted an orgasm. (We don’t use affiliate links or anything like that, but you can easily find the product on Amazon or many other websites.)

The most common way we used the bullet was with SC on top and the bullet wedged between us, up against her clitoris. Sexy Corte doesn’t have orgasms from penetration alone (75% of women don’t) and the vibrator has been a fantastic tool for bringing her to climax while I’m inside her. We had previously used an egg vibrator for the same purpose, but the wire kept getting pulled and tangled when we moved — even pulling off once, breaking the ($10) vibrator and the mood! It’s much easier to put the wireless vibrator in position and then do our thing without distraction. I’m able to use the remote to change settings whenever desired, and then put it out of the way when we’re ready to climax.

We’ve written about how to use a wand vibrator, and wands are great for many activities, but they’re just too big for face-to-face intimacy. (And certainly too big to hide in your panties!)

The bullet we bought has ten different vibration patterns, but for the most part we never used anything but the simple low, medium, and high settings. The other seven patterns were fun to play with in public to tease SC, but they weren’t effective for actually bringing her to orgasm. Extra patterns are a feature that’s cheap for manufacturers to add to a product so you’ll probably see them on every wireless vibrator, but I wouldn’t pick a vibrator based on their presence or absence.

Is it strong enough? This is the most common question asked by shoppers and reviewers. Vibration strength is an advantage that wired vibrators have over wireless (because of larger batteries or being plugged into the wall) and it’s a property that’s very hard to quantify. Every vibrator is different, and every woman is different. This wireless bullet is weaker than the wired egg we were used to, and at first Sexy Corte was concerned that the highest power setting wouldn’t be enough for her. However, she did reach orgasm the first time we used it and every time since. It seems that a woman can adapt to a lower level of stimulation over time, even if it doesn’t meet her expectations at first.

How long do the batteries last? We always put the vibrator on the charger between uses, and it always had plenty of power and duration for our encounters. The only times we ran the battery out were when we used it in public, and in those cases we got about 40 minutes of continuous vibration time (spread out over the whole date). It would be fantastic if the batteries lasted longer, but 40 minutes is pretty respectable.

Durability: I estimate that we got about 150 orgasms from the vibrator over the course of a year — maybe 3500 minutes of use. That’s a very rough estimate, of course, but it’s in the ballpark. At a price of $30 for the vibrator, that’s only $0.20 per orgasm. The vibrator worked perfectly until it failed — the power suddenly dropped while we were using it, and then it kicked on and off randomly when we shook the device. (A wire probably came loose inside, but fixing it myself would be more trouble than it was worth.)

Final thoughts: Even if you have other toys, you should get a wireless bullet vibrator. They’re super fun, and they enable very intimate face-to-face orgasms. The Sensuelle Wireless Bullet is a solid product, and we ordered another one immediately. Just writing about it makes me eager to use the new one in public on our next date night!

(We don’t make any money from this site, and have never received any free products to review from anyone.)

Do you use a wireless or wired vibrator? In public? In private? Share your experiences in the comments.

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·4 Comments

A couple of weeks ago reader KL wrote to ask for some tips for his wedding night, and now he writes back with great news:

Update!!!!

Wedding night happened and it was awesome! We took your advice and decided to really focus on foreplay for most of the late evening before going for it. Showering together after the reception was a plus as well. We went with the standard missionary and I came in about 30 seconds, but we laughed and had a great night falling asleep afterwards. Since then we’ve had sex about 4 or 5 times but it’s been difficult for me to get all the way in. She says she’s having some pain during intercourse so we’re still working on that. Thanks for your advice!
Congratulations to the newlyweds! We pray that they have many decades of awesome sex ahead of them.
Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.
If you liked this, please share it!

by ·4 Comments

It’s been a while since since we’ve done a link round-up!

How it feels to undress in front of your spouse: goofy! But here are some tips for how to do a strip tease and three reasons its sexy to strip for your husband. If you’ve only got a few seconds, just flash him your boobs. And if he’s feeling down, offer to let him touch your breasts.

What’s on your sexual menu? — House favorites, appetizers, lighter fare, daily specials, and dessert.

Easy exercises for women on the go — Kegels, push-ups, and squats. Exercise improves sex in all sorts of ways.

A collection of recent sex studies — I’m throwing out my polyester.

I’d rather have an orgasm than fake one — perhaps surprisingly, husbands and wives both do it.

Do men like having their balls played with? — Uh, yes.

Your definition of gross changes when you’re aroused — You might need to try something while aroused rather than just talking about it. Challenging your own preferences can help you expand your limits and have more fun.

Sex socks — Winter is coming, so get your wife some warm socks to sleep in (and nothing else!).

Wives: when you’re making love, squeeze your butt — and all your pelvic muscles.

If you want to share a link, put it in the comments!

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·22 Comments

God intends sex to be hot and awesome inside marriage, and commands abstinence outside of marriage. That’s a difficult expectation! Our society says that abstinence is a waste of time and effort — maybe even harmful — but that’s how difficult endeavors often look to people who don’t want to try. Climbing Mount Everest looks foolish, dangerous, and difficult, and many people who make the attempt fail, but I can only imagine how fantastic the journey is for those who succeed.

In any event, my purpose here isn’t to advocate for abstinence. If you’re a Christian, God commands it. (See: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 and Hebrews 13:4, among many other verses.)

However, it’s unfortunate that the command for sexual purity has been widely applied within the church so as to avoid almost all other discussions about sex. Most unmarried Christians are taught to abstain before marriage, but little else. There’s an unspoken expectation that right after the wedding ceremony a switch will flip and the newly married couple will somehow “figure it out” on their own. This is a recipe for disaster! And, in fact, it often leads to sad results: mismatched sexual expectations between spouses that aren’t revealed until it’s way too late — either so far into the relationship that it’s too painful to break it off, or even after the wedding.

So, my strong encouragement for unmarried Christians is twofold:

  • Give some serious consideration to your sexual expectations for your future marriage, long before you have a potential spouse in mind.
  • Have a frank conversation about sex early on in any relationship. It may quickly become obvious that your partner isn’t on the same page as you, and you can spare yourselves a huge amount of heartache by breaking things off quickly.

The difficulty is obvious: how can you learn any of this without having sex? How can you know what you like if you’ve never tried it? To some degree you can’t, but that’s fine. The point isn’t to be  a sexual dynamo before you get married. Think of it like you’re planning a vacation to a place you’ve never been — first consider for yourself the kind of vacation you’d like to have, and then discuss your ideas with your partner and compare. If you get excited about the same kind of things, great! But if you want to sit by the pool every day and your partner only wants to hike, then you need to figure if and how to compromise, or whether to just cancel the trip.

It isn’t only the specific sexual interests and expectations that reveal a lot about your compatibility, but also the way in which you and your partner engage in the discussion. There are no “wrong” answers, but if your answers and approaches are significantly different from each other then that might be a red flag. Is your partner open to your ideas and desires? Is your partner suggesting things that repulse you? When there are disagreements (as there are bound to be), is your partner eager to compromise? Or resistant and stubborn?

This conversation about sex shouldn’t be a one-shot, although one discussion may be enough to rule someone out. After the first discussion you’ll both probably have more ideas and questions, so bring sex up again in a week, and another week, and another. Eventually you’ll both either be super-excited at the prospect of sex together, or one of you will be dreading it. If you’re early in the relationship, that dread should be enough motivation to get out while you can.

So what kind of topics should you discuss? Here are a few ideas to get you started.

  • What do you think is the purpose of sex in marriage?
  • What do you think are God’s expectations for sex?
  • What makes you most excited about sex? Most nervous?
  • How often do you think about sex?
  • Have you ever had an orgasm? Do you masturbate? How often? How do you touch yourself? Where? When?
  • What most turns you on? What turns you off? What sights, sounds, touches, experiences, smells, tastes…?
  • How often do you think you’ll want to have sex when you’re married?
  • What should you do when one spouse wants to have sex and the other doesn’t? What if this happens frequently?
  • When is it ok to refuse sex with your spouse? Tired, sick, angry, busy, pouty, worried, sad, distracted…?
  • Even if you know you wouldn’t enact them in real life, what kind of sexual fantasies do you have?
  • How should spouses compromise if one person wants to do something sexually that the other doesn’t?
  • What activity are you most excited to do sexually after you’re married?
  • Is there anything sexual that you definitely won’t ever do?
  • How do sex and romance relate in your mind?
  • Do you want to take charge sexually, or be led? Or both at different times?
  • What do you think about oral sex and anal sex?
  • Do you think sex should be playful or serious?
  • Would you want to try new things, even knowing that some you might end up disliking?

As you go through this list I’m sure you’ll branch off in many other fruitful directions. It you’re still excited about each other after having this discussion a few times then your sexual compatibility isn’t likely to be a roadblock to your relationship.

The key is that you have to be honest and vulnerable with each other — if you can’t, then that itself is a huge red flag. The internet is full of sad stories about “bait-and-switch” relationships in which one partner (usually, but not always, the woman) was sexually adventurous before the wedding, and a cold fish after. If a frank discussion about sex is had early enough in the relationship, then it will be easier for both partners to be honest because the stakes will be lower — you won’t already have invested several years into the relationship that you’re afraid of losing. Even if one partner wants to deceive the other, it will be harder for him or her to succeed at it over the course of a long, multi-part discussion.

Don’t just assume that you and your potential future spouse are on the same page about sex! Have the discussion and be honest — with each other and yourselves.

Got any other tips to share for discussing sex with a potential spouse? Leave a comment!

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·26 Comments

Reader KL writes:

Can I get some advice? I’m a in my early-twenties and engaged to be married soon to my girlfriend. I’m beyond excited, obviously, but to be be honest I’m also insanely nervous about our first time together in bed that night. Neither of us have had intercourse before, and I’m not really sure what to do. I was just wondering about your thoughts on the best way to “start a marriage”, if that makes sense? What position is best? Should I groom and all that before hand? Am I too big or too small? What do we do for our first time? Where do most guys finish the first time? Does it really matter? Your blog seems like a safe spot to get some of these answers. Thanks for any advice or help you can give!

(Update: don’t miss the follow-up after KL and his bride’s wedding night.)

First of all, congratulations to you and your bride! Your decision to be obedient to God and abstain from intercourse before marriage will pay dividends for many years to come. Hopefully the two of you have had a candid and explicit talk about sex already to set expectations for your future together. (See: “How to talk about sex before you get married”.)

Second, let’s talk about some preparation for your wedding night. (This post will be written for the groom-to-be, since that’s who asked the question, but much of the advice is applicable for the bride as well.)

  • Grooming. Yes, you should shave your man-parts before your wedding night! If a lady were asking, we’d also recommend that she groom her lady-bits. It’s certainly not necessary, but we find that it enhances hygiene and intimacy.
  • Lube. Bring some water-based lube — you can buy it for $3 at Wal-Mart. No need for anything expensive or fancy. If you’re planning to have sex in the water you’ll want some silicone-based lube… but sex in the water is overrated.
  • Towels. Put some hand towels near the bed. Sex is messy, and lube makes it even more messy. You’ll have more fun snuggling if you don’t have to constantly get up to wipe your hands.
  • Research. Read these: How to Rub a Clitoris and How To Help Your Wife Orgasm. You may also enjoy the book “Sheet Music” by Kevin Leman — it has a chapter about making your first time great.
  • Prayer. When you’re all naked and in bed with your bride, pray together! Ask God to bless your sex life, and thank him for your marriage. God wants you to have an awesome sex life, so don’t be embarrassed to pray for it!

Third, here’s a step-by-step plan for what to do when you’re having sex for the first time. This plan isn’t written in stone — be sure to adapt to what your wife says and does.

(Update: Several commenters have shared that they didn’t have sex at all on their wedding nights (for various reasons) — so don’t put too much pressure on yourselves!)

  1. Lay down with your wife. Hold her, hug her, kiss her, and tell her how much you love her. Touch her all over her body.
  2. Lay your wife on her back, and lay yourself next to her on your side so that your dominant arm can reach between her legs (your other arm can go behind her head). Apply a pea-sized dab of lube to your wife’s vagina. Rub the lube around her vulva and up onto her clitoris, making the whole area slick. Your wife may or may not produce much natural lubrication — every woman is different, and she might be nervous.
  3. Rub her clitoris and vulva a lot, as described in the research links above. Continue holding her and kissing her. How will you know that you’ve touched enough? She’ll get flushed, breathe harder, and beg you to penetrate her. It might take a while for her to get really aroused, but there’s no rush — it’ll happen.
  4. Ideally you will be able to bring your wife to orgasm now with your hand or your mouth. (She probably won’t have an orgasm when you penetrate her, so this time is for her!) Ask your wife to look into your eyes while you touch her, and maintain eye contact. Use tiny, fast, gentle circular motions on her clitoris until she climaxes in your arms. Watch her face! Absorb the experience. This will be one of your most precious sexual memories.
  5. After she climaxes, keep her on her back and move yourself on top of her, laying between her legs. Missionary position is easy and intimate for your first time. Rub the head of your penis up and down over her vulva and between her lips. This motion should drive her crazy, and it also gets some lube on you to ease penetration. If the lube has dried, apply more lube! You may need to use your fingers to spread her lips and position your head directly against her opening.
  6. Look into her eyes and tell her how much you love her. Ask her to maintain eye contact again while you penetrate her. Wait for her to invite you in. While you’re looking into each others’ eyes, slowly slide your penis into her. Go slow and be gentle — it might hurt her a little, but if she’s lubed and warmed up it shouldn’t be too bad. If it hurts a lot, slow down and work on enhancing her arousal. Follow the cues her body gives you.
  7. Once you’re in, continue kissing her. Move slowly in and out until you have an orgasm. Unless you have some reason not to, the best place to ejaculate is inside her vagina.
  8. Has she had an orgasm yet? Ask her if she wants one. Use your hands or mouth to satisfy her. If she doesn’t want one, that’s fine also.
  9. Continue holding each other and snuggling for as long as you want.

I hope that plan is helpful! If any readers want to share a tip for newlyweds please leave a comment!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·11 Comments

Pregnancy is a special and fleeting time — although I remember while I was pregnant I felt like it would last forever! Looking back I can better appreciate how short a chapter of my life it was. During pregnancy, there are a lot of ups and downs in your sex life, and each trimester needs it’s own adjustments to keep a happy sexy time. Then after baby is born, there are even more adjustments to be made!

1st Trimester

  • When you find out that you and your spouse have made a life together, it is an incredibly intimate feeling. I felt connected to EF in a way I never had before. We shared something together that is at the most primal level of humanity, and that feeling extended into our sex.
  • Shortly after you become pregnant you start to realize that you won’t have your period for a while. This was one of my favorite parts!
  • Also shortly after you become pregnant, the hormones really kick in. For me, this is when I really started to pay attention to how I felt at different times of day. I was fortunate to not feel sick all day. Each pregnancy was different, but with each one there was a time of day that worked best for sex. So that is when we had sex! If you can be flexible and communicate you should be able to maintain an enjoyable sex life even through the more unpleasant parts of pregnancy.
  • Enjoy all the positions that you like, you aren’t really limited by your size.

2nd Trimester

  • Ah, the golden trimester for sex. El Fury loved this trimester. My libido was so high, I think I wore him out! Have sex as much as you can in this trimester.
  • For most of this trimester different positions are still comfortable. We tried to enjoy the Jockey position because we knew soon we wouldn’t be able to do it that way.
  • There isn’t a whole lot to say on this trimester, except have lots of sex and enjoy it!

3rd Trimester

  • Sex gets a little challenging during these few months. This is where I felt like I would be pregnant forever. Husbands, encourage your wives as much as you can during these months. I was super crabby the last two months of pregnancy and needed all the encouragement I could get!
  • Exercise if you are able. At this point I was only able to walk, and I think my level of activity made sex more enjoyable.
  • During this trimester we were pretty much limited sex to two positions: me on top and spooning. Sex while spooning is very comfortable when you are pregnant. The last month especially this was my favorite way to have sex. If you are unfamiliar with this position, it is exactly as it sounds: having sex while the husband spoons the wife.
  • Although it can be difficult, try to enjoy sex because after baby is born most people have to wait a little while until your body is recovered.

Postpartum

  • The first time you have sex after baby is born is pretty monumental. You haven’t had sex for a while, so both of you are pretty worked up. For the wife, it is also pretty scary (at least for me it was). Go slow and spend a lot of time on foreplay. When the husband is entering the wife, go especially slow and make sure she doesn’t have any pain through the process. EF was so gentle, and it meant the world to me that I could trust him in that way.
  • This is yet another time that you have to notice what time of day you want to have sex. Then have sex at that time! This can change rapidly, so listen to your body and embrace it when you want to have sex. Those first few months after our babies were born we had sex at all hours of the day. There were times I would come in from feeding in the middle of the night and be ready to go. EF was flexible enough that he didn’t mind waking up in the middle of the night.
  • Boob sensitivity. Before having kids, my boobs weren’t really an exciting area for me. For EF they were, but I didn’t get much pleasure out of them. I don’t know if anyone else has experienced this, but after having babies and breastfeeding, by boobs became much more sensitive. Now I get very turned on when EF touches me there.

I love looking back and remembering our experience of pregnancy and childbirth together. EF was the only person I wanted to have in that room with me. Going through all that together brought our relationship to a new level of intimacy. I love sharing this journey with him. There are times I feel like our kids are absolutely crazy, and I can look up and catch his eye. We give each other a knowing smile. He is the only person in the world that can understand our life together, and what we’ve been through with adding these little lives to our world: their quirkiness, and the intense love we have for them. Then, when those crazy moments have turned to quiet moments after they go to bed (or in the morning before they wake up), it’s amazing to look into those same eyes while we make love. That, I believe, is how God wanted us to experience this great gift of sex and intimacy.

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·1 Comment

Here’s a fascinating study about using light therapy to increase the libido of men with low sex drives. Don’t worry, it’s not some hippy thing!

Exposure to bright light – similar to daylight – boosts levels of the male hormone testosterone and can triple sexual satisfaction, the research found.

“Before treatment, both groups averaged a sexual satisfaction score of around two out of 10, but after treatment the group exposed to the bright light was scoring sexual satisfaction scores of around 6.3 – a more than three-fold increase on the scale we used. In contrast, the control group only showed an average score of around 2.7 after treatment.”

While average blood levels of testosterone in the “control” group remained at around 2.3 nanograms per millilitre (ng/ml) before and after the study, those of the men receiving active light treatment rose from 2.1 ng/ml to 3.6 ng/ml.

“The increased levels of testosterone explain the greater reported sexual satisfaction,” said Prof Fagiolini. “In the northern hemisphere, the body’s testosterone production naturally declines from November through April, and then rises steadily through the spring and summer with a peak in October. You see the effect of this in reproductive rates, with the month of June showing the highest rate of conception. The use of the light box really mimics what nature does.”

The article doesn’t mention it, but testosterone is also essential for women’s libido. (Though, of course, at lower levels of the hormone than men require.)

And best of all, you don’t need a fancy “light box”! Just go outside and bare some skin to that giant ball of fire in the sky that God helpfully provided — for free! The study quoted above indicates that as little as 30 minutes per day in the sun will have an effect, so go get some exercise.

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·8 Comments

We mentioned the Jockey position in an earlier post about variations on Doggy Style, but since this is one of our favorite go-to positions I thought it would be worthwhile saying a bit more about it.

First, what is the Jockey position? The basics are simple: the wife lays down on her stomach and the husband lays on top of her and enters her from behind. Beyond that, there are innumerable ways to experiment with the position.

  • Entry. If we’re starting with Jockey we’ll often use lube — the position is tight and has a lot of friction. Often we’ll move into Jockey after starting with something else, and then lube isn’t required. For easiest entry, the husband can kneel while wife lifts her hips, then they can lower themselves into a lying position after he’s inside.
  • Legs. There are two ways you can position your legs: her legs closed and his outside, or her legs open and his inside. The wife will probably have to spread her legs at least a little to facilitate entry, but after that we generally prefer for her legs to be closed and her knees and feet together. Then the husband can surround the wife’s legs with his, which creates a very intimate whole-body embrace as well as a very tight penetration.
  • Arms. There are at least three positions that you can use for the wife’s arms, and the husband’s arms will follow. (1) The wife can lay her arms straight down the length of her body and lay her face on the mattress (probably no head pillow in this position). (2) The wife can bend her arms at the elbows, tuck her elbows into her sides, and put her hands under her shoulders. (3) The wife can put her arms above her head in a diamond-like shape. With positions (1) and (2) the husband can wrap his arms around the wife and completely envelop her body. With option (3), the husband can tuck his arms under his wife’s, lay on her back, and hold her hands above their heads.
  • Pillow. Putting a pillow under the wife’s hips will elevate her lady bits, making entry easier and increasing the depth of penetration. The pillow also gives the wife something to push against, helping her to move a little in what is otherwise a fairly passive position for her. The wife can push up with her hips, wiggle from side to side, and squeeze her pelvic muscles — and moan with pleasure!
  • Kissing. Jockey is a great position for him to smother her with kisses! The husband can easily kiss the wife’s face, ears, shoulders, neck, and back, and Sexy Corte really enjoys it when I kiss down between her shoulder blades.
  • Spanking. As with all rear entry positions, Jockey is great for giving the wife a little spank on her butt! (Until the husband lays down, of course.)

Great things about Jockey:

  • Intimacy. This position really lets the husband surround the wife from every direction. You can hold hands, hug, and kiss. It’s a great position for warming up on a cold night. You can snuggle in this position for as long as you want, and even fall asleep after sex without getting up.
  • Tightness. Like other variations on Doggy Style, Jockey is a pretty tight position — especially if the wife keeps her legs together.
  • Comfort. Jockey is a pretty relaxed position that doesn’t require too much energy — perfect for early mornings or late nights.

Potential downsides:

  • Her orgasm. Jockey is a difficult position for a wife to reach orgasm. The position does allow the husband to stimulate the wife’s anterior vaginal wall and g-spot with downward thrusts, but there is very little clitoral stimulation. When Sexy Corte wants an orgasm we always make sure to do it before going to Jockey.
  • Depth. The geometry of Jockey leads to shallow penetration — less depth than Missionary, and much less than basic Doggy Style. Depth can be improved by putting a pillow under the wife’s hips.
  • Too hot! With so much skin-to-skin contact, Jockey may not be the best position for the hottest days of summer! Throw off those sheets and turn on a fan before you start.

What do you think about the Jockey position? Got any tips to share? Leave a comment!

If you liked this, please share it!