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This quote from a Reddit user was aimed at single men and women, but the metaphor is from the Bible. Proverbs and Song of Solomon both use the imagery of refreshing water to represent the sexual life of a married couple.

Proverbs 5:15-18

Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.

Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?

Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.

May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

Song of Songs 4:12-15

You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.

Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates
with choice fruits,
with henna and nard,
nard and saffron,
calamus and cinnamon,
with every kind of incense tree,
with myrrh and aloes
and all the finest spices.

You are a garden fountain,
a well of flowing water
streaming down from Lebanon.

The idea behind the quote from Reddit is that women can have as much bad sex as they want (swamp water), and men can’t get any (no water). We can’t speak for single people, but unfortunately this lament isn’t far off from what we hear from many married Christians! In Level-Up Your Sex Life we quoted emails from a bunch of readers who gave two-pronged advice:

If you’re looking to level-up your sex life consider taking these tips from our readers: as many orgasms as the wife wants, and oral sex for the husband.

Every person is different and every marriage is different, but what we hear from our readers most of the time is that Husbands Want Quantity, Wives Want Quality. As Sexy Corte wrote:

Quality is better than quantity. That statement is beneficial in many ways. But what if quantity is the quality? Husbands often view sex through that lens. We get a lot of emails from readers asking about frequency. Men want their wives to have more sex. Women wonder why their husbands want to have sex so much, and often comment that they don’t enjoy it. Here are some thoughts on how to improve the quality and the quantity.

God wants sex with your spouse to be an overflowing fountain of pure, refreshing water! What can you do to bless your spouse with abundant refreshment?

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Sexy Corte: “I’m going upstairs to take a shower.”

Me: “Ok.”

SC: “Are you going to come?”

Me: “I already showered.”

SC: “Maybe you could just watch me shower.”

So I quickly carried the chair from our bedroom to the shower and took off my clothes to enjoy the show.

This was something new for us. We’ve been talking about masturbation recently, mostly about me wanting to watch her touch herself and masturbate. Here, Sexy Corte invited me to touch myself while I watched her shower, and she put on a great show for my entertainment! She enjoyed watching me watch her and touch myself, and she definitely got into the role. She didn’t go for an orgasm (she’d had one that morning) but I did.

So what worked?

  • She invited me. How could I say no?
  • She showed off her body to me without embarrassment. Sexy Corte pressed herself up against the glass and positioned herself to give me a great view while she washed.
  • She touched herself. It was very sexy to watch Sexy Corte rub her hands all over her body.
  • She pleasured herself with the shower head. This was the hottest part to me: her involuntary eye-rolls, shudders, and moans when she applied the shower head to her lady bits.

Overall this was quite a fun experience and I look forward to trying it again. I also look forward to playing more with the shower head.

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I think we’d all prefer to live in a world where semen tasted like chocolate. Such a world would have no war and no crime… but then again, it might not have civilization either. In our fallen world, for better or worse, the taste of semen generally ranges from neutral to yuck, which can be a major turn-off and a significant reason for a wife to be reluctant to perform oral sex.

In our recent post titled “Level-Up Your Sex Life” we talked about giving the wife as many orgasms as she wants, and we also shared some encouragement from both husbands and wives to include more oral sex in your marriage. Along with that encouragement we think it’s important to give some practical tips that will help oral sex to be more enjoyable for the wife to perform. Here are a few posts on that topic that you may have missed:

You may think that we write a lot about oral sex, but this blog has over 400 posts! Those ten links constitute around 2% of our total posts… and husbands who crave the intimacy of oral sex make up a good 25% of the email we receive.

Ok, so to the topic of this particular post: how can you make semen taste better? You may be surprised to learn that there are actually a number of proven things you can do to improve the taste of your semen (or your husband’s). First, let’s look at some things that are likely to make your semen taste bad.

  • Dehydration.
  • Smoking, drugs, and alcohol.
  • Caffeine.
  • Red meat.
  • Dairy.
  • Processed foods, including fast food.
  • High-sulfur vegetables from the cabbage family, like asparagus, broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower.
  • High-sulfur spices like garlic and onions.
  • Basically, if it’s bad for your breath it’s bad for your semen.

Next, here’s a list of things that are likely to make your semen taste better — but still not like chocolate, alas.

  • Water. Drinking more water will lead to higher semen volume, which will dilute the bitter/alkaline taste of the sperm in the semen.
  • Sweet fruits — particularly pineapple. Some of the sugar goes into your semen.
  • Acidic fruits, like cranberries, citrus, pineapple, and peppers. The acidity cancels out the alkaline taste of sperm.
  • Vitamin C will reduce the quantity of salt in your semen. Fruit again, including pineapple, but also celery which has lots of water.
  • Some spices, including cinnamon, cardamom, and peppermint.

If pineapple jumped out to you from the list then you’re not alone. Along with drinking plenty of water, the internet seems to agree that pineapples are a surefire way to improve your semen flavor. For people who don’t want to eat pineapples all the time, you can buy the pineapple enzyme called bromelain as a supplement — it’s like eating ten pineapples in a pill, but without the acidity, sugar, or vitamin C that seem to be important elements of pineapple’s power. For science I tried some bromelain supplements for a few days, but they made my stomach so upset that I had to stop taking them before Sexy Corte could render a verdict on their effectiveness.

Which brings us to the final question: how long will it take for a change in habits to result in a change to semen taste? The improvement will happen gradually over the course of a week as the fluid from your prostate cycles out of your body and is replenished. Presumably you can speed this process up by drinking and ejaculating more.

This post probably won’t be effective enough to bring about world peace or destroy civilization, but maybe it will help a marriage or two. Got any other tips or experiences to share? Leave a comment and let us know!

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We’ve written about shower sex and the human loofah, but this post is focused on how to actually get clean while showering with your spouse.

If you’ve showered together then you probably know what can go wrong: you bump in to each other a lot, and you have to wait for access to the soap and water. Horrible! Sexy Corte and I have developed a shower dance that deconflicts our use of shower resources, and there’s one simple trick that makes it all possible: we get in and out of the shower at different times.

If we get into the shower at the same time, then we both want access to the water and soap at the same time too, and one of us has to wait on the other. However, if we stagger our entrances to the shower then our work is syncopated and we aren’t both trying to do the same thing at the same time. Magic! Usually I let Sexy Corte get in first, and then I get in after she gets wet. (Ahem.) In this way, we can naturally alternate our use of water and soap so that neither of us has to wait on the other.

Here’s an example sequence of events. As you can see, because we get in at different times we can easily take turns doing activities that require the water (bolded).

  • Sexy Corte gets in the shower and gets wet. El Fury does whatever, outside the shower.
  • Sexy Corte shampoos her hair. El Fury gets in and gets wet.
  • Sexy Corte rinses her hair. El Fury soaps his face.
  • Sexy Corte conditions her hair. El Fury rinses his face.
  • Sexy Corte rinses her hair. El Fury soaps his body.
  • Sexy Corte soaps her body. El Fury rinses his body.
  • Sexy Corte rinses her body. El Fury gets out.
  • Sexy Corte turns the water up to 200 degrees, washes her face, etc. El Fury dries off.

This post sure is exciting, isn’t it? Well, here’s a sex angle: if taking a shower with your spouse is easy and convenient, you’re more likely to have sex in the shower.

Do you take showers with your spouse? Leave a comment!

Update: In the comments Ann points out that I missed an incredibly important tip:

She soaps her body & he soaps his own? Boring!! Soaping each other is very sensual. You could condition her hair & massage her scalp—in case you aren’t aware, a woman getting her hair washed at the salon by a hairdresser is often compared to being almost as good as sex!! Much better that she think of the last shower with her husband when she is leaned back for that salon experience—she could come home wanting her new hairdo messed up…😉

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Happy Autumn! For Sexy Corte and I, this is our favorite time of year. October weather is amazing, and the holidays roll over you in an avalanche of fun — Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year. Good times.

But, oh no! Autumn isn’t all fun and games. Married couples face two serious challenges to their sex lives in this time of year. Yes… Autumn marks the end of the glorious summer penis and the beginning of the dreaded winter vagina! These are serious marital issues that you might not even have known about, but don’t worry, we’re here to help. First, let’s analyze the problems.

Wives, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re going to have to say good-bye to the summer penis you’ve been enjoying for the past few months.

Summer penis is an elusive phenomenon that answers to the sway of the seasons. No barbell can boost it; no foodstuff can fill it. Summer penis is a temporary dick fluctuation that, thanks to the heat and warmth, gives you a months-long leg-up on shaft size. It’d be like if a woman’s boobs suddenly got huge from May to August.

But now it’s gone, and you’re going to have to make do with your regular non-summer penis!

And say hello winter vagina.

Chilly weather can make our lips chapped and skin dry – so Vaseline soon becomes a beauty staple in the winter months.

A midwife has now issued a warning to women as apparently this “drought” can extend to EVERY area of our bodies, causing ‘winter vagina’.

Mary Burke, a former NHS midwife and senior clinical nurse at the London Bridge Plastic Surgery & Aesthetic Clinic reveals the reasons why this happens.

“Dry autumn and winter air depletes moisture from our bodies, leaving our skin dehydrated and cracked, and our sinuses parched,” she said to The Sun.

“And while it’s an issue few will want to discuss openly, our vaginas can enter ‘drought mode’ during this time, too.

“When we spend a lot of time in air conditioned rooms, or with the heating on, we’re living in air which carries very little moisture.”

What’s a married couple to do in these harrowing circumstances? If only there were a way to warm up your penis and moisturize your vagina at the same time.

Well here are a few ideas.

  • Have sex in the water. Taking a bath or shower together is the quickest way to get things warm and wet.
  • Leave the bathroom fan off. If your bathroom is connected to your master bedroom, leave the fan vent off when you take a hot shower. The heat and humidity from the shower will permeate to your bedroom and improve the atmosphere. Using the vent wastes all that precious heat and humidity!
  • Crank up the heat. Yes, it’s expensive to turn up the thermostat all winter, so just crank it up for an hour before you have sex. Don’t be shy — turn it up high enough that instead of shivering, your wife will be eager to take off her clothes.
  • Humidifier. When you turn up the heat, you’ll also want to use a humidifier to increase the moisture in your bedroom. A cheap hygrometer can be used to optimize the humidity in your house.
  • Lubricant. You may not need it all the time, but keep it handy for when you do.
  • Moisturize. Find the right lotions for your sexy bits and you’ll both benefit during the cold, dry months.

Do you have any other tips for sexing it up through this horrible season? Leave a comment!

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I bet more wives than husbands use loofahs when they shower, but that might change if your spouse transforms into a human loofah! You don’t need a loofah costume (although you could use one), you just need your naked body and some soap. The idea is simple: the wife covers herself in soapy bubbles and then washes her husband by rubbing herself all over his body. Then they switch roles and the husband washes his wife in the same way. Fun and efficient!

Here are a few ideas for making the most of your human loofah experience.

  • No hands. Using your hands is easy-mode!
  • In the dark. Turning off the lights will enhance the experience for your other senses, especially touch.
  • Mirroring. Use your corresponding part to wash your spouse — e.g., wash her chest with your chest, and her butt with your butt.
  • Sexy parts. Wash your spouse’s whole body using only your sexy parts.

You might want to read up on how to have sex in the water before you get started, because all this rubbing is likely to lead in that direction. A well-prepared husband will be ready for anything if he keeps silicone lube and a water-proof vibrator handy.

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Merry Christmas everyone! It’s been a while since we rounded up our favorite Christian sex links, so here’s a big list to finish off 2016!

Wives, God created sex for YOU — working to grow your own enjoyment of sex is a huge gift to your husband and yourself.

Don’t let the holidays ruin your sex life! Squeeze in sex during the holidays!

So many posts with gift ideas:

Lots of options for grooming your public hair — we wrote about husbands shaving their public hair and answered a question from a reader about how to ask his wife to shave “down there”.

Duty sex as a stepping stone to great sex — we’ve written against “duty sex”, but viewing it as a step towards something better is a very useful perspective.

Can Christians get sex tips from Cosmo? — I guess you could, but honestly, there’s better stuff on our blog and those we link to! For free.

Fellatio alarm clock — with a strong mint?? That’ll wake him up quick.

Kegel exercises help turn her on and intensify her orgasm — also, squeeze your butt during sex!

Sex positions made easier by the Liberator Wedge — we’ve got these wedge pillows, and they’re great fun.

A husband wants his wife to love his penis — this reminds me: I need to write a post on this topic.

Save time and water by showering together — also sex in the shower and tips for having sex in the water.

Tips for reaching orgasm together — we could do this easily enough every time, but I like to hold back. I find that I enjoy Sexy Corte’s orgasm more when I’m not distracted by my own.

A bunch more sex links from November!

Merry Christmas! If you’ve got a link you want to share, please put it in the comments!

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We love hearing from couples who enjoy reading our blog together! Reader “J” sent in this quick tip that’s simple to apply in any marriage: get wet and naked together!

We have really enjoyed reading your blog. My wife and I were talking about this site and wondering what we did different that we would like to add to the discussion. Here’s one thing we came up with:

For all of our marriage my wife and I have talked best when either in the bath or shower together. It’s easy to talk about anything if you’re naked… On top of that one of the greatest things I have ever learned to do for her is to shave her legs. It takes time and patience and it apparently makes her feel cared for and pampered. I’d highly recommend every guy try that with his wife. Plus you get to play with her legs… What’s not to like about that?

Sounds nice and intimate to me! Here are some tips for having sex in the water. We’d love to hear from you too, so leave a comment or contact us using the links on the left.

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Shower sex can be great for getting in a quickie while visiting the in-laws and jacuzzis are luxurious for love-making marathons, but the first time you try to have sex in the water you’re liable to notice something rather inconvenient: the water washes away the wife’s natural lubricant. Even though you’re both turned on and ready to go, underwater penetration can be challenging and uncomfortable. So you hop out of the water and grab your lube — problem solved? Maybe not. The most common sex lubes are water-based, which means they will quickly disperse in the water just like her natural juices.

What’s a horny couple to do? If you’re going to go to all the trouble to arrange a romantic aquatic interlude don’t forget one important ingredient: silicone lube! Sexy Corte and I have had great experiences with a brand called Gun Oil (easy to buy online), but there are numerous options available.

gun oil

Silicone lube isn’t just for playing in the water — it has a few general advantages over water-based lube.

  • Lasts a long time. You can have sex forever without the lube drying up.
  • Less irritating. Silicone lube isn’t easily absorbed into the skin, so it tends to be less of an irritant to sensitive skin.
  • Very slick. For when you need as much slipperiness as possible.

There are a few disadvantages as well.

  • Destroys silicone toys. Do not use silicone lube with silicone sex toys. It will destroy them. Silicone is a very common material for sex toys, so be very careful not to combine them.
  • Hard to clean. I wouldn’t use it in bed; it’s hard to get off sheets.
  • Tastes bad. Not toxic (check your brand), but not great for oral sex.

Silicone lube: another toy for your sexual toy box. Tell us your experience and let us know if we missed an important use!

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In general, we aren’t big fans of sex in the shower. It is often a cramped space, so finding the right position is difficult. I am not a flexible person, so we are pretty limited. Also, even though it’s really wet, it’s not the right kind of wet. (side note: if you do enjoy sex in the shower, we found a lube called Gun Oil works great.) In most cases, we use the shower for foreplay.

There are, however, certain occasions when the shower comes in really handy. On our last trip to visit family, we were having a hard time getting in our normal sexy time. Between sleeping on a twin bed and twin air mattress, the thin walls, and all the people around, it was not exactly an environment conducive to bedroom activities.

As we were getting ready, El Fury hopped in the shower with me. We were discussing our frustrations and realized we had an opportunity right then and there. The door was locked, the fan and shower muffled the noise, we were both already naked. I bent over and we did it. The spontaneity of it made it really hot too!

Shower sex is great in the right situation. But, I still prefer it on dry land.

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