"Unique Roman Artifact" "May Have Been" Sex Toy 1

There’s an outside chance that this “unique Roman artifact” discovered at the fort of Vindolanda (Britain) is 100% definitely a 1,900-year-old sex toy.

"Unique Roman Artifact" "May Have Been" Sex Toy 2

Here, therefore, we assess this uniquely preserved object—currently the only known example of a non-miniaturised, disembodied carved wooden phallus from the Roman world. Combining current theories about the role of phallic representations with consideration of the size and form of the object, and potential use-wear, we propose three possible explanations for its use and significance at Vindolanda in the second century AD and reflect on its broader significance for studies of Roman sexuality and magic.

The researchers offer some thoughts about “usage”:

Repeated use of wooden objects can damage or smooth their surfaces, depending on the intensity and frequency of handling and/or the time over which they were used. …

Tactile examination of the Vindolanda phallus reveals that the convex base end is smooth, which we attribute to intentional shaping during manufacture and/or exposure to repeated contact through use. A zone approximately 40mm in length along the underside and lateral faces of the shaft and an area 30–40mm long at the tip (upper shaft, glans and area behind it) were also notably smoother than other surface areas, possibly indicating repeated contact (Figure 7). The greater wear of the convex end and sides of the cylindrical base and the glans terminal may be significant for interpretation of the object’s function. Put simply, assuming such wear was caused by use, the phallus has perceptibly greater wear at either end compared with its middle.

The researchers consider several potential uses for the phallus before they get to the answer everyone wants to know: is it a sex toy?

Demonstrating that the Vindolanda phallus was used as a sexual implement is challenging. Although it explicitly imitates the anatomical form of a penis, modern implements are morphologically more diverse than human physiology; form alone is therefore not indicative. Nor does the size of the Vindolanda phallus preclude its use in this manner. Lubricants may be expected, but neither these nor human secretions are likely to survive archaeologically. Exactly how use-wear might manifest on an object of this type is also unclear and variations in use may be a factor. Research points to different perceptions, attitudes and uses of modern dildos across different genders and sexual orientations. In this regard, if the Vindolanda phallus functioned as a dildo, it need not necessarily have been used for penetration. Instead, actions such as clitoral stimulation might better fit the form and wear observed. Different modes of use, presumably, produce differential wear, but no definitive research exists, to our knowledge, that demonstrates this. Comparison of wear patterns on the Vindolanda wooden phallus with known examples of dildos is also difficult. The greater wear observed on the glans and upper shaft on the Vindolanda phallus compares favourably with the eighteenth-century ivory example noted above, in which differential surface colour and smoothing can be observed, even on photographs. Similarly, greater wear of the glans is observable on a stone double-dildo of the Sui dynasty (AD 581–618) in China, with double-dildos in Chinese historical texts typically described as made of ivory or wood for use in lesbian sexual acts.

And since I know you’re wondering, here’s the Ivory dildo, possibly French, 1701-1800; the wear near the head is clearly visible.

"Unique Roman Artifact" "May Have Been" Sex Toy 3

As we’ve written before, history is filled with people just like us.

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In this episode we discuss the acrostic Sexy Corte created while sexually aroused.

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Creating Art While Sexually Aroused: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/marriage-advice/creating-art-sexually-aroused/

Thumb and Finger Zoom Technique: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/physical-techniques/thumb-and-finger-zoom-technique/

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Creating Art While Sexually Aroused 4

Sexy Corte is planning a podcast episode about sex and art, and as we were discussing it I came up with the idea for the project behind this post: what’s it like to create art while sexually aroused? We’re pretty pleased with how it turned out, and there are many ways to take the idea farther than we did this time.

The project behind this post is pretty simple: Sexy Corte created an acrostic of marital sex advice while I stimulated her with a vibrator and zoom technique. I didn’t tell her what we’d be doing until we started, so she came up with everything below while sexually aroused.

I don’t know if acrostics are “art”, but the process of creating this list was definitely performance art and extremely erotic. I think that the prompt and structure of the acrostic was critical for making this project work — if I had given Sexy Corte a completely blank slate she would not have been able to create anything substantial under the circumstances. As it was, she struggled to focus on the task at hand.

Here are a few others ideas for artwork you could create while being sexually aroused by your spouse. You might want to consider using non-sexual themes so that the resulting artwork can be displayed in public areas of your home!

  • Painting or drawing: prompt the artist with a scene or situation to create, or have the artist copy an existing work.
  • Lettering or calligraphy: have the artist copy a poem or Bible verse with an elaborate style.
  • Poetry: give the artist a prompt for writing a short poem.
  • Music: prompt the artist to compose a short piece of music.
  • Lego or other model: have the artist assemble a model.
  • Singing or reading: if you’re brave, record audio of the artist reciting a poem or passage from a book, singing a song, or playing music.

If you’re feeling ambitious you can even take on a larger project that can’t be completed in a single session — and the artist is only allowed to work on the piece while being sexually stimulated by the spouse!

Have you ever created any art while sexually stimulated? Do you have ideas for more art projects? Leave us a comment below!

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Ideal Male Bodies from History 5

Most everyone agrees that the female body is more aesthetically pleasing than the male, and women are much more commonly portrayed as reifications of beauty than are men. (Perhaps the most famous exception is Michelangelo’s David, above.) Men aren’t generally depicted for their beauty, but perhaps we can learn a bit about the historical “ideal male body” by examining some artwork of men who were at the top of the social hierarchy for another reason: martial prowess.

Redditor PartyMoses writes about depictions of men in 15th century fencing manuals.

I’m going to take some time to talk about a man named Paulus Kal. Kal was a fencing master who wrote a treatise on the knightly arts, and had a long career as a knight in various capacities, served some civic functions for Nuremberg, and was sworn in service to a couple of dukes. In the 1480s (probably), he wrote his treatise, which contained a fair amount of art.

We think Kal depicted himself in the middle here, wearing the red/pink suit. He’s helping a knight (right) prepare for a duel. Take a look at Kal and a look at the anonymous knight for a moment. Kal doesn’t look the way we think of as “fit” today. He has a noticable belly, no definition of arm muscles, stout legs. He looks very similar in other images, even from (possibly) different artists. Now take a look at the arming knight: again, no muscle definition, the man in fact looks quite thin. It’s the same in most of the images throughout the treatise.

Ideal Male Bodies from History 6

Aside from these fencers, PartyMoses also points to “Kal’s Birdman”:

I have eyes like a hawk, so you do not deceive me.
I have a heart like a lion, so I strive forward.
I have feet like a hind, so I can spring to and fro.

Ideal Male Bodies from History 7

Obviously the ideal man is not an exquisite corpse or a nightmarish fusing of animal with human, but we are supposed to understand the animal-like features of the ideal fencer. Eyes that can’t be deceived, courage that won’t falter, quick feet. But look at the body of this ideal man. No muscle tone, nearly anywhere. An exaggerated waist even with a bit of a gut, thin arms, tapering legs.

(Follow the link above for commentary and many more pictures.)

Did 15th-century women swoon over these emaciated birdmen? Unfortunately I couldn’t find any depictions of men created by women of that era… maybe someone more proficient with art history would know the answer.

Women: are you familiar with any artwork that portrays an attractive male figure? Leave a comment and let us know.

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"Domestikator": Too Hot for the Louvre 8

Apparently this hotel/sculpture, titled “Domestikator”, was too hot to display at the Louvre. (And now the piece is getting a lot more attention than it ever would have if the museum hadn’t removed it.)

The French publication Le Monde reported that the Louvre’s director, Jean-Luc Martinez, sent a letter to Fiac raising concerns about the piece.

“Online commentaries point out this work has a brutal aspect,” Mr. Martinez said in the letter. “It risks being misunderstood by visitors to the gardens.”

The museum also raised concerns about the sculpture, which is 40 feet high, being situated near a children’s playground.

Ok, so maybe playground-adjacent isn’t the best location for a 40-foot-tall depiction of doggy style.

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