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I have been reading through the book “Sheet Music” by Dr. Kevin Leman. It has been a great read! If you decide to read it, I do recommend reading certain chapters before having sex because some of them are sure to get you in the mood. Dr. Leman has a great chapter on Sexual IQ. He describes your sexual IQ, not as how much you know about sex, but about how much you know about your spouse’s sexual preferences. He has a list of questions (see below) that I think is important for a married couple to know about each other. El Fury and I went through each question and guessed each other’s answers before sharing our own. It was interesting to see how our answers matched, or what we could learn about each other. We already have really open communication about our sex life, so this exercise was really fun! If you don’t have good communication about sex, this is a great ice breaker that gives you an opportunity to learn and share. I was pleased that El Fury and I have a high sexual IQ. Here is the list:

1. Does your spouse prefer candlelight, total darkness, mood lights, colored lights, or complete white light during sex? Does she or he like to experiment with light? If so, when, and in what mood?

2. Does your spouse like any particular smells during sex? Does she enjoy candles? If so, what fragrance? Does he appreciate any special perfume?

3. What is your spouse’s favorite time of the day to engage in sexual relations? Do you ever make room in your schedule to accommodate this time?

4. Does your spouse like you to talk during sex? Make more noise during sex? Does he or she want you to talk more before you have sex? Would she or he prefer that you start praying before or after sex on occasion?

5. Does your wife have a favorite massage lotion? Does she like the lotion heated, or straight out of the bottle?

6. Does your spouse like to have fun during sex, or is he or she more serious?

7. What are your spouse’s three favorite places to be touched? Kissed?

8. What position is your spouse’s favorite?

9. What is one sexual practice your spouse would really like to try that the two of you haven’t done yet?

10. What is your spouse’s favorite sexual fantasy?

11. What turns off your spouse quicker than anything else?

I’m sure there are a lot of other questions you can add to this!For example, on number 10, we also talked about our favorite sexual memory. You should always be a student of your spouse, and that includes learning more about them sexually.

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Sexy Corte just posted about her wifely “double feature” and mentioned setting orgasm records… so, if you’re not too shy, leave a comment and share some records you’ve set with your spouse!

  1. Number of her orgasms in a single session.
  2. Number of her orgasms in a single day.
  3. Number of his orgasms in a single day (or session??).
  4. Duration of sex play in a single session.
  5. Duration of intercourse.
  6. Number of different locations in a single day.
  7. Favorite location other that your usual spots.
  8. Number of positions in a single session.

I’m sure there are more records you’ve enjoyed with your spouse, so leave a comment and inspire me!

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Recently El Fury did a post on his version of the double feature. In my head, every time I have 2 orgasms I think of it as a double feature. Or triple feature, etc. Husbands, when was the last time you gave your wife multiple orgasms? Tell her that is your plan for the evening and see how many “features” you can get!

Once in a while El Fury will surprise me and set up our room in a way that I know the focus is going to be on me for a while. He likes to try to set new records for number of orgasms I can have in one night. He usually gets out the wedges and the vibrator. I get to just lay back and have fun! I love knowing how much he enjoys giving me an orgasm. It adds a whole other layer to my sexual satisfaction and really makes me feel loved. Tell your wife and then show her just how much you enjoy giving her pleasure!

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We hope you all have a Merry Christmas!

No matter how “complex” your family or marriage are, remember that if you search the Bible there aren’t many perfect families or perfect marriages. Jesus was born into a step-family by God’s design. God is always at work all around us, and he invites us to join him in his work. We encourage you to express your gratitude to God for your spouse, to pray for your own spiritual (and sexual) growth, and to enjoy the holidays with your family.

(Also, get some sexier stockings.)

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I sometimes come up with names in my head for things that Sexy Corte does, and she seems to get a kick out of it when I share. In this case, she thought my name was lame (true) and she rechristened the move as the “Double Feature”. Wives, if you’re looking for that perfect Christmas gift for your husband then this might just be it! The “Double Feature” is simple: he gets to come in your mouth and your vagina in the same day.

To give your husband a day he won’t forget, explain the “Double Feature” to him when he wakes up and tell him he can decide when he wants each showing. If you really want him to go crazy thinking about you all day, give him a ticket to carry around in his pocket.

ticket roll

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This installment of Links of the Week is sure to rock your world!

Needs: Part 1 — Yes, quickies are awesome when you gotta go. Like candy. Shouldn’t be all you eat, but a few times a day doesn’t hurt….

Finding Friends to Support Your Marital Intimacy — Make friends that build up you and your marriage. Negative friends who constantly complain about their spouses won’t do your marriage any good. Brag about your spouse!

Three gifts from Journey to Surrender: The Gift of “As You Wish” In the Bedroom, The Gift of Sex, and The Gift of Yourself

Sex During Pregnancy Infographic

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As I’ve perused the marriage blogosphere it’s clear that the female orgasm is one of the most prominent themes: ever-elusive; mysterious; husbands desperate to please their wives; distraught wives who just can’t seem to get there; frequent frustration. It’s easy for husbands to have orgasms, but it’s very common for wives to have a harder time achieving sexual satisfaction. To that end, I want to recommend “Satisfaction”.

The book is about “the art of the female orgasm”, and there’s a solid focus on the loving relationship between the couple. Aside from the expected advice to communicate and develop intimacy with your spouse, the book reads almost like an instruction manual for the female body — and that’s exactly the approach I was looking for when I bought it. I found the book to be extremely educational. It’s laser-focused on its single target: “helping a man fully satisfy a woman” — without toys. The philosophy of the book is that “every man can be an artist” when it comes to the female orgasm. It’s not that toys aren’t fun or handy, but the book intends to teach the reader how to please a woman with his own body.

Topics covered include:

  • Basic anatomy, the clitoris, the g-spot
  • Oral stimulation
  • Using your fingers
  • Anal stimulation
  • Vagina-to-mouth
  • Multiple orgasms
  • A few simple medical issues (including premature ejaculation and the use of Viagra)
  • Various communication topics
  • Hygiene

The book has no photographs in it whatsoever, but there are abundant diagrams and drawings that depict the referenced acts and body parts. The drawings are clinical in nature, but if you have a strong desire to avoid any depictions of nudity then this book is not for you. The diagrams are all helpful rather than titillating, and are essential for explaining some of the more esoteric movements and positions. If only for the diagrams, this book is better than searching the internet for information. Any internet searches are bound to lead you to pornography.

It’s also worth pointing out that the book is not written from a Christian/marriage perspective, but that won’t hinder your application of its techniques.

“Satisfaction” probably has something to teach everyone, and with the caveats above I strongly recommend it to anyone who loves female orgasms. Specifically, the book might be an excellent gift for newlyweds. Brides receive a plethora of gifts at their bridal showers, but “Satisfaction” might be the perfect gift for the groom who wants to please his new wife and has remained chaste until his wedding.

What resources have you used to learn about sex? Have you read any good books?

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The holidays are hectic, and doubly so if you’re going on vacation — maybe triple if you’re going to visit family. With everything going on at the last minute before you walk out the door, sex may be the last thing on your mind… but you’re not going to abstain while you’re gone, are you? Are you? I sure hope not. Travel sex is some of the best sex, but take a few minutes to get prepared before you leave.

A lot depends on where you’ll be staying. If it’s just you and your spouse staying at a hotel, the preparation will be a lot easier than if you’re sharing a room with your kids in your parents’ basement. Here’s a checklist to help you out:

  • Set expectations. Hopefully you’re both expecting to make love on your trip, but when and where? If the babies wake up at the crack of dawn, you may need to retire early to have some time together before you go to sleep. If the kids nap, then maybe you can grab a quickie in the afternoon. If your family stays up till midnight watching movies, you may try to rise early together. If you don’t make a plan, you may end up with one horny spouse expecting some lovin’ at midnight while the other collapses into bed exhausted. In addition to the timing, figure out where you can have sex, and for how long. The wife will probably need more time, comfort, and privacy to have an orgasm than her husband will, so husbands, don’t just plan on quickies for the whole trip and leave her frustrated.
  • Lube. It may not be absolutely necessary, but it will probably make the wife’s orgasm a lot easier. If you’re in a pinch, you might be able to borrow some lotion from your family for your “dry hands”.
  • Sex rags. Bring a few of your own washcloths in your suitcase to clean up after sex. If you’re staying at a hotel this probably isn’t an issue, but do you want your mother-in-law grossing out when she does the laundry after you leave?
  • Sex toys. These will definitely depend on your circumstances. It might be hard to use a vibrator while your kids sleep on the floor next to your bed and your parents are a foot away on the other side of the wall. However, in situations like these you might need to have sex in places other than your sleeping area anyway, and that means that a vibrator might come in very handy to get her off quickly. If you’re doing it in the bathroom you can cover the noise with the exhaust fan. If you “drive to the store” a vibrator can really help in the confines of a car. Speed is often important during family vacation sex, so don’t forget your vibrator. Important tip: take the batteries out before you pack it… otherwise it might turn itself on in your suitcase. That’s fun to explain when your family notices!
  • Portable door lock. Finding privacy can be hard, especially if you’re staying with family and their doors don’t lock.
  • Just do it! When you’re on vacation don’t make excuses, make opportunities!

Do you have any tips for vacation sex? How do you prepare?

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Happy belated Thanksgiving!

When was the last time you thanked God for your spouse? When was the last time you thanked God for creating sex, and bringing you and your spouse together to enjoy sex together? Don’t fall into the trap of spending all your prayer time asking for things — “count your blessings”, and thank God for them. Especially your spouse. It’s temping to “pray for your spouse” by listing off all your complaints to God (and that’s certainly wiser than listing them all to your spouse), but don’t use “prayer” as an excuse to develop a bitter or demanding spirit. Notice how I put “prayer” in quotes everywhere? If you use your time with God to complain, are you really communicating with him at all?

Check out my Song of Solomon series and meditate on the imagery the Lover and Beloved use to describe each other. Pray those words over your spouse.

When was the last time you thanked your spouse for their love? When was the last time you thanked your spouse for being your lover? Maybe you figure “she already knows”, or “he won’t want to talk about it”, but ’tis the season! Thank your spouse for their love, their intimacy, and their sexuality.

Even though the holidays are busy and stressful, make some time to be alone with your spouse and give them something special to be thankful for!

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If you know of something else I need to link to, leave a comment or shoot me a message!

Is Make Up Sex Real? — Yes, you can repair small arguments with sex.

Holiday Refuge — In the chaos of the holidays, make you master bedroom (i.e., your sex room) a refuge.

Sexual Fantasy – Her Secret Sin? — If you’re having trouble staying “in the moment” while having sex, my suggestion is to intentionally increase your responsiveness.

Clitoral Slapping — This is new to us. Try it and let us know what you think!

Slippery When Wet: Lubricant Review, and More Lubricants — Lubes for every situation.

Is Your Husband the Sexiest Man Alive? — Your spouse is your standard of beauty.

Bow-Dazzle! — My favorite holiday sex tip? Christmas elf lingerie.

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