I just came home from traveling for a couple of weeks, but I never really feel home again until Sexy Corte and I have penis-in-vagina sex. I’m not really home until I’ve made love with my wife.
Over seven years ago (!) we wrote about Welcome Home Sex and shared some tips for making it great, but what is it that makes coming home so great? Three-thousand years ago Solomon wrote:
Proverbs 13:12 — Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
There’s something archetypal in the imagery of the wife as the bountiful garden wherein lives the tree of life. Again from Solomon we read in chapter 4 an invitation from the wife to her husband:
Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits.
And in chapter 6 we see that the husband eagerly accepts the invitation.
My beloved has gone down to his garden to the beds of spices, to graze in the gardens and to gather lilies. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine; he grazes among the lilies.
The wife’s body is an archetypal location:
where love is
the source of growth and creation
where nourishment and comfort are found
a place of safety and acceptance
a place of inward-focused power
private community — marriage, family
a fountain of abundance, overflowing water
the home of telluric wisdom; an oracle
The wife’s soul cultivates and protects this garden, and she invites her husband inside to share it with her.
I finally understand why chicks did motorcycles: built-in vibrating seats. Yep, that’s right, you can install a vibrator directly into the passenger seat of your bike to give your wife quite an exciting ride.
(And apparently there are vibrating bicycle seats too?)
But why should motorcycle riders have all the fun? When I saw these products I realized that it would be pretty easy to replicate the experience in our sensible sedan. If you or your spouse are just a little bit handy with electricity it’s simple to build your own 12-volt car-powered over-the-clothes vibrator!
Here are the three parts you need to buy — all easily available from eBay or other online sources for under $20 total.
12-volt male plug (for cigarette lighter).
12-volt dimmer knob.
12-volt vibrating massage motor (Uxcell is the most likely brand). I suggest getting a motor that includes the plastic housing, seen below.
Once you have all the parts, assembling the device is pretty easy. For car use I didn’t install the vibrator into the seat — you don’t straddle a car seat like you do a motorcycle seat, so that positioning wouldn’t be ideal anyway. You’ll need some wire-cutters (or needle-nose pliers) and a small screwdriver.
Measure your distance. How far will the vibrator need to reach from your cigarette lighter to the wife’s lady bits? Make sure to leave some slack, but you don’t want too much wire or you’ll get a tangled mess. You should also decide where you want the dimmer knob located, so you need to decide on length for the wires from the plug to the knob, and from the knob to the motor.
Cut the wires. And strip 1/4 inch of insulation from the tips of each wire so you can install them into the knob switch.
Install the wires into the knob switch. Use a small screwdriver to install your four wires into the receptacles on the knob switch. For DC (direct current) power, red wires are positive/+ and black wires are negative/-.
Test. Plug it in, turn on the car, and make sure it works. When you turn the knob the motor should modulate its power. If it doesn’t work, make sure your wiring is correct — is the metal of each wire in contact with the metal in its switch receptacle? Are reds in positive and blacks in negative? If your wiring is right and it still doesn’t work you may have a defective part.
Bundle the wires. If you have pairs of loose wires you can bundle them together to neaten things up. Use small zip ties and/or electrician tape to protect the pairs of wires and hold them together to reduce tangles.
Your new car toy has two incredible benefits:
Over-the clothes power. The 12-volt motor should be much more powerful than a battery-operated vibrator! This means the wife doesn’t need to get undressed to use it — it can reach through her clothes! You know we’re a fan of using a wireless remote vibrator that tucks into Sexy Corte’s panties, and it’s great for when we’re walking around, in a restaurant, or in a theater, but it also requires advanced preparation. She has to put the vibrator in her panties before we leave, and it can be awkward to reposition because it’s buried under layers of clothes. You can’t use this car vibrator walking around, but when you’re using it in the car you don’t need to mess with the wife’s clothes.
Infinite duration. As long as you’ve got gas in the car you’ve got vibration! The wireless remote vibrator we use can go for around 45 minutes, but this car vibrator never runs out of juice. You can use it in tons of ways: coming and going from your date; park and play while the wife performs oral; on a road trip (keep quiet and put a movie on in back!); the wife can build up sexual tension with edging while she drives home from work or the store; the husband can tease her by controlling the knob. Limitless fun!
We hope you enjoy this project. Leave a comment and tell us what you think, especially if you build a car vibrator for yourself!
Self-driving cars will change the way we travel and work. But according to researchers studying the potential implications of autonomous vehicles (AVs), they could also have a profound impact on another aspect of life: How we have sex.
“One of the starting points was that AVs will provide new forms of competition for hotels and restaurants. People will be sleeping in their vehicles, which has implications for roadside hotels. And people may be eating in vehicles that function as restaurant pods,” says Scott Cohen, deputy director of research of the School of Hospitality and Tourism Management at the University of Surrey in the U.K., who led the study. “That led us to think, besides sleeping, what other things will people do in cars when free from the task of driving? And you can see that in the long association of automobiles and sex that’s represented in just about every coming-of-age movie. It’s not a big leap.”
Car sex is great, and having a robotic driver will really open up your options.
Have sex anywhere! A parked car can be fine for sex, but sometimes it attracts attention. A moving vehicle is more private.
Have sex while “running an errand”! If you’re spending holiday time away from home, you and your spouse can “run to the store” real quick — but really have the car drive you around randomly while you have sex.
Have sex with scenic views! Like having sex on a train, you can watch the beautiful scenery rolling by while you make love.
Do you enjoy car sex? Any other ideas for what you’d do if neither you nor your spouse had to drive?
If you spend the night with family while vacationing then you may have encountered a frustrating situation: doors with no locks! It’s hard to have sexy time if you’re worried that your kids or family will burst in on you at any moment, but c’mon, you can’t skip sex just because you’re traveling! Fortunately for all of us, there are several kinds of portable locks that can be easily mounted onto any inward-opening door. The best one I’ve found is the Addalock (pictured above).
Discrete: No one on the other side of the door can tell you’re using one.
Portable: Weighs less than a pound and fits easily into a suitcase.
Effective: The door cannot be opened with the lock installed — short of breaking it down with an ax.
Here’s a longer post about preparing for sex on vacation. Have you got any tips for improving sexy time while traveling?
Nothing says “welcome home!” like a warm embrace from your spouse. Travel can be frantic, and if you have to travel for work it can be a stress on your marriage. Sexy Corte and I are fortunate that we don’t have to travel separately all that often, but when we do the old saying definitely holds true: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or, as Solomon wrote three thousand years ago:
Proverbs 13:12 — Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
Whether you’re separated for a long time or just a couple of nights, there are lots of things that the traveler and the spouse at home can do to make the reunion extra special.
Sexting. Nothing gets me and SC as excited to see each other as some flirtatious texting. You can be as graphic as you like with your spouse, but we usually focus on words and not images. Telling your wife what you’re going to do to her when you get home, or your husband that you need to feel him inside you is sure to prime the pump.
No kids. It really depends on your logistics, but you can really get things going if the kids away or in bed when the traveler gets home. If the traveler is really missing the kids, the one at home can still get them ready for bed so that the traveler can see them before switching the couple time.
Food. If the kids are in bed, Sexy Corte and I usually have sex before we make time for eating. But, however you sequence things, having some food ready for your traveler will always be welcome. After the kids go to bed you can have a stay-date to celebrate your reunion and have a grown-up meal, even if the kids had chicken nuggets an hour ago.
Grooming. When I’m traveling I usually use the last night of the trip to shave my man bits. It’s somewhat time consuming and doesn’t need to be done very often, and we find that smooth skin makes our homecoming sex all the sweeter. You can read more at the link — husbands, if you haven’t tried it you’re missing out. Both spouses should make an effort to clean and prepare themselves for sex, before the traveler gets home if possible. Airplane travel especially feels gross, so wash your hands and face when you get off the plane and don’t walk in the door like a stinky slob.
Naked greeting. I love it when SC greets me naked at the door when I come home. Sometimes she can’t — darn kids! — but it’s extra-special when she does. After several days of sexting and flirting and longing, being greeted at the door by a spouse who’s ready and eager for sex is the best.
Bonus. If you make time to have sex right when the traveler gets home then you can do it again before bed. Bonus sex!
Do you have any tips for welcome home sex? Leave a comment!
