Back in 2007, artificial intelligence researcher David Levy from the University of Maastricht told LiveScience that people could be marrying robots – and consummating their vows – by 2050.
Although it might not appeal at first, he said, “once you have a story like ‘I had sex with a robot, and it was great!’ appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I’d expect many people to jump on the bandwagon.”
In his PhD thesis, Intimate Relationships with Artificial Partners, Levy stated that the more human-like robots become in terms of personality, function and appearance, the more likely they are to form romantic partners for real people.
“It may sound a little weird, but it isn’t.
Actually, it is weird. (And the image above is pretty creepy.)
However, to be honest, I don’t see much to worry about. Lots of people already use primitive “robots” to augment their sex lives.
Making a robot more like a human doesn’t actually make it human. Robots are just things, and like any other things they can be used for good or ill.
Will lifelike sex robots fundamentally change the sexual dynamic of humanity? Maybe! But lots of other things have done that in the past, and we’ve survived.
Monogamy, marriage, divorce
Prostitution
Birth control in various forms
Paternity testing (blood typing, DNA, etc.)
Pornography (from cave paintings to the internet)
I don’t see anything qualitatively different between a human-like sex robot and a vibrator — if they ever exist, use with discretion.
Husbands, are you looking for a Mother’s Day gift for your wife that she’ll love, but doesn’t already have? Get her a tiara! There are a million options on Amazon that can be delivered before Sunday.
Here are a few things to look for:
Material: Make sure it’s metal and not plastic!
Size: Make sure it’s sized for an adult, not a child.
Color: You can’t go wrong with silver with white jewels, but if your wife has a favorite gemstone you can probably find it.
Reviews: As always, read the reviews.
So why would you want to buy your wife a tiara instead of (yawn) flowers?
Make her feel special. She’s your princess, and she should dress like it!
She has probably never worn a tiara (except possibly at your wedding) so you know you’ll make an impression with such a thoughtful and creative gift.
Your kids will love it and enjoy treating her like a queen all day.
Just imagine how sexy she’ll look wearing it… and nothing else.
A reader’s wife recently suggested that she try using a numbing spray to help her overcome her gag reflex, and I wrote back that such use is generally safe. But what about numbing sprays and lubes more generally?
In addition to cough sprays and cough drops that are intended for other uses (sore throats) there are also products that are intended to numb during sex. There are several different potential applications, and each type of use has it’s own considerations. The most important thing to remember is that pain was designed by God to warn us about injury. Numbing agents can be used to reduce discomfort, but shouldn’t be used to mask pain. Here are the three major applications, in order of least risky to most risky.
Penis: Numbing spray can be used on the penis to mitigate premature ejaculation. This is generally safe and somewhat effective. It is unlikely that a topical numbing agent will prevent a man from feeling pain in his penis.
Throat: Numbing spray is generally safe to use on the throat to reduce discomfort during oral sex. There are also flavored, numbing lubes that can be used for the same purpose. Of course, applying numbing agents to the penis will make it harder for the husband to orgasm! The wife can use the throat spray a few minutes before starting oral sex to avoid accidentally applying it to the penis. The mouth and throat are pretty tough, and as long as the wife is careful it’s unlikely that her husband’s penis will cause injury.
Anus: There are numerous kinds of lube designed to aid anal sex, including some with numbing agents. Numbing lube shouldn’t be used to mask pain! Anal sex should not be painful. If used wisely numbing lubes should be safe, but don’t use them to fool yourself and risk injury.
Even though numbing lubes and sprays are generally safe, they definitely aren’t necessary for oral or anal sex. If you practice, go slow, and use lube you can avoid pain and discomfort without risking the use of numbing agents. Numbing lubes and sprays seem like a short-cut, but sex with your spouse isn’t a race! Take your time and enjoy yourselves.
What’s your experience with numbing sprays or lubes? Have you used them? Do you like them? Leave a comment!
We finally had our date night and tried the remote controlled vibrator! It was a naughty adventure. Going out with your spouse and having a sexy secret between the two of you is intoxicating. It doesn’t have to be a remote control vibrator. It could be lingerie, no panties, etc. Or it can be something you plan and share with your spouse partway through the date. One of my all-time favorite dates with El Fury was going out in a skirt, then writing “I’m not wearing panties” on a napkin and sliding it across the table to him. Completely changed the tone of our night together.
Back to last night. The first few times he buzzed me, it was startling and I jumped and gasped a little. So I recommend giving it a few test runs before you’re actually out in public. The car ride to our date location was very distracting (for both of us). It was definitely arousing, but not enough for me to orgasm. I thought it was really sexy to know that EF was thinking about pleasuring me, and loved seeing the sly smile on his face whenever he would use the remote control. Whenever we found a quiet corner I pulled him to the side to make out and fondle him a little. Letting him have that control was a huge turn-on. At one point he let it go so long I started unintentionally touching him to the rhythm of the vibrator. I felt very close and connected to him.
Wow, part 1 was written in October of 2014! Finally, almost a year-and-a-half later the stars aligned. We may not be so picky next time, but we wanted things to go smoothly the first time.
The right kind of event: public, and loud enough to avoid attention.
Alone in a crowd: we weren’t going with anyone we knew.
Sedate: no physical exertion required besides walking.
Health and wellness: no colds, periods, or exhaustion to contend with.
This is the vibrator we used: Sensuelle Wireless Bullet 10-Function. I’m not sure if this specific one is available anymore, but the brand has other options.
Overall, we were very pleased with the vibrator.
High quality construction.
Decent power. Not as strong as a AA-battery egg vibrator, but more than strong enough to get Sexy Corte’s attention. The first few times I turned it on she jumped and yelped. (So. Hot.)
The ten functions were fun to play with! There’s no way to tell what function you’re on from the remote, but when we held hands on SC’s lap I could feel the vibration pattern through her body. (So. Hot.)
The battery life was good, but not great. I’d estimate about 30 minutes of vibration time total.
The entire experience was extremely sexy. I loved the control aspect of being able to buzz her at will, and it was sexy as heck to watch her face flush as she got turned on. There were two times during the night when we were sitting for extended periods and I let the vibrator run for 5-10 minutes straight; I could tell SC was getting worked up from her breathing and the way she was leaning into me and rubbing my hand. Just knowing how aroused she was in public was a huge turn-on for me, and wonderfully distracting for both of us.
The only slight negative to the experience was due to two factors: duration and friction. I had installed the vibrator in SC’s panties so that it was directly in contact with her skin, for maximum stimulation. However, our date was four hours long and the friction of the vibrator surface rubbing against her sensitive bits for that long caused some irritation by the end of the night. (It wasn’t the vibration that was irritating, just the long-term friction of the surface against her skin.) I’ve ordered some panties with a built-in cloth pouch that I hope will mitigate this problem in two ways: first, the the vibrator won’t be in direct contact with her skin; second, the vibrator will be easy to insert and remove. (See the image at the top of the post.)
The whole experience was amazing. Watching, hearing, and feeling my wife respond to the vibrator under my control was insanely sexy, and we’re excited to do it again.
The pale pink device, which costs 150 euros (£110), is controlled by a phone app but does not use Bluetooth. Parents-to-be can share their babies’ listening experience using split headphones which hang out of the vagina.
The Babypod, which has a top sound level of 54 decibels, is recommended for use from the 16th week of pregnancy, and for between 10-20 minutes a time.
Babypod was launched at the “first concert for foetuses ever held in the world” in which Soraya Arnelas, who finished 23rd in the 2009 Eurovision song contest, “serenaded” 10 pregnant women fitted with the speakers, singing Christmas carols.
Babypod reassures customers that the vibrations of the device do not adversely affect a foetus – “this is why sex toys are allowed in pregnancy”.
So it plays music and vibrates inside your vagina. Seems like it would be hard to use during intercourse. Maybe it could provide musical accompaniment during oral sex? I feel like there’s are sexual opportunities here that I can’t quite think of. Leave your ideas in the comments.
Sexy Corte has written about egg vibrators previously, and they’re definitely our most-used sex toys. However, egg vibrators aren’t ideal for every situation! Sometimes the little egg just doesn’t give you enough to hold on to, and in those situations you need to have a wand vibrator handy. There are a lot of different brands, but really only three key features that we’ve come across:
Rechargable. Get a model with a built-in rechargeable battery. Plug-in vibrators never run out of power, but the cords just get in the way when you’re using them.
Variable power. Every model we’ve seen has a variable power setting, but make sure you don’t buy one without.
Standard size head. Check the size of the massaging head and make sure it matches the “standard” size of the Hitachi Magic Wand. Hitachi doesn’t even make the Magic Wand “massager” anymore, but all the vibrator accessories you’ll find will be sized to fit this classic sex toy.
Here are some tips for getting the most out of your wand vibrator.
Reach. A wand vibrator can be used in positions that don’t work with an egg, like doggy style. It’s hard for the husband to reach all the way around to keep an egg in place, but with a wand vibrator the wife can hold it in place herself. Any sort of rear penetration position can benefit from the enhanced reach of a wand vibrator.
Duration and diffusion. The head of a wand vibrator is a lot larger than an egg vibrator, which can be good or bad. It’s bad if the wife needs focused power on her clitoris to reach orgasm, because the wand vibrator may not be direct enough even if it’s powerful. However, for teasing games or bondage sessions that are intended to last a while, the larger vibration area of the wand head can be less intense and more pleasant.
Accessories. There are a ton of accessories for “standard” wand vibrators! Some of them look quite… alien… but there’s certainly no lack of variety to explore.
There are even accessories for husbands!
So even if you have an egg vibrator, a wand vibrator is a completely different toy and well worth picking up. If you’ve got any questions, tips, or recommendations please leave them in the comments!
In our bondage for beginners post we first mentioned the under-the-mattress restraint system and we got a few questions about it, so here’s some more information about why it’s great and how to use it. The banner photo doesn’t show how it’s installed, so here’s a diagram:
There are a few key features that will make such a system one of your most-used sex toys.
Easy to install. You have to lift your mattress and then shuffle the straps into place, but it’s once-and-done. After it’s installed, that’s pretty much it. Unlike many other restraints, you don’t need a headboard or bed posts.
Concealed. When you’re not using it, the cuffs can be tucked under the mattress and the system is invisible. You can show off your room to visitors or let your kids play without worrying that they’ll notice anything unusual.
Convenient. The system doesn’t need to be set up every time you play, and you don’t have to plan ahead. If the urge strikes you while you’re in the middle of the action, just reach under the mattress and grab a cuff.
Adaptable. The diagram shows the straps wrapping over the top and bottom edge of the mattress, but the system works equally well if you pull the straps over the sides. It just depends how you want to stretch and restrain your spouse: more length-wise or more spread-eagle.
Adjustable. The lengths of the straps can be easily adjusted to enable a variety of positions. Most systems come with removable cuffs as well.
Effective. It does exactly what you’d expect: holds wrists and ankles in place. If you want to hold knees open, make sure your cuffs are big enough.
So what positions you use the straps for? Here are a few ideas.
Spread-eagle is the most obvious position, either face-up or face-down. If the husband is restrained face-up the wife can easily have her way with him; if the wife is restrained, face-up is awesome for foreplay and teasing, and face-down is easier for sex.
Arms above head. For face-to-face sex with the wife restrained, it’s convenient to set her ankles free after foreplay but keep her arms above her head. This let’s her legs and hips get into a good position while still restricting her movement.
Arms out, legs up. The straps are easy to reposition, so with the wife in a face-up position you can pull her arms out straight and then lift her legs up. This position is always amazing for deep penetration, and adding the restraints puts the husband in complete control.
Doggy style. Almost the reverse of the position above. Put the wife on her knees and then pull her arms down between her legs and put her face on the mattress. Cuff her ankles and wrists. You can criss-cross the straps to hold her legs together — attach the left wrist to the right strap and the right wrist to the left strap.
Pillow under the hips. Pillows can be put under the restrained spouse’s hips, whether it’s the husband or wife, face-up or face-down. The pillow can can be used to improve access, penetration, and enable angles that are hard to do when laying flat.
And don’t forget your blindfolds, vibrators, and other toys!
Have you ever used an under-mattress restraint system? Got any tips to share with our readers?
It seems like there’s a lot of interest in bondage these days, and many couples are experimenting with stuff they never would have thought of before. If you’ve never tried bondage you may be wondering what the big deal is — why would anyone want to be restrained during sex? Well, we know nothing about the BDSM “scene” so we can’t speak very broadly, but we can tell you in one word why Sexy Corte and I periodically enjoy adding some light bondage to our sexy time: vulnerability.
To understand bondage let’s talk first about the goal, then the methods, then why it’s fun. The goal is simple: voluntarily restrain one spouse to enhance his or her vulnerability and submission. It seems most common for the wife to be restrained, but I’ve had Sexy Corte tie me down and tease me and it was lots of fun. Usually though, it’s me restraining her. The purpose of the restraint is to give control of your body to your spouse, not to be painful or uncomfortable. Submitting to bondage is a huge demonstration of trust to your spouse because it puts your naked body into their control and makes you supremely vulnerable. The bondage benefits both the dominant and the submissive spouse by giving the dominant person permission to act, and the submissive person permission to let go. The various toys described below are only used to accent the submission that has already been agreed to.
There are limitless methods of bondage, but they generally share a few common features.
Nakedness. The submissive spouse will usually be restrained naked, or at least with her sexy bits exposed. Being naked with your spouse is already a big show of trust, and being restrained kicks it up a notch.
Hand restraint. Often the submissive’s hands are restrained to prevent her from “protecting” herself. (I use quotes, because of course nothing should be happening against the submissive’s desires.) Hands can be restrained above the head (for example, tied to the headboard), behind the back, in front (for front-to-back positions), or even attached to the ankles. Hand restraint is probably the most common element of light bondage. Get those hands out of the way!
Leg restraint. Legs, ankles, and knees can be restrained to keep the wife’s legs spread or to prevent movement in general. Leg restraint is an important element of position restraint and orgasm control.
Head restraint. Head or neck restraint could be uncomfortable or even dangerous. This isn’t something we do.
Eye restraint. Covering the submissive’s eyes can add another layer of trust and enhance vulnerability. Using a blindfold can really make extended foreplay exciting.
Mouth restraint. Sometimes you just want to hear your spouse moan with pleasure instead of talk. Sometimes talking is distracting. Taking away the option to talk can be liberating for the person who is restrained. Always be sure that anyone whose mouth is covered can breathe freely and can signal a desire to stop.
Position restraint. A combination of restraints can be used to hold the submissive spouse in a certain position, say for spanking. This can be critical for orgasm delay and multiple orgasms, which we’ll talk about below.
So what are the actual devices that can be used for bondage play? Almost anything you can imagine can be incorporated, but here are a few ideas. Each of these items probably deserves its own post!
Wedge pillows. Sexy Corte and I enjoy these a lot for positioning, and they include attachments for…
Hand cuffs. We use some padded strips with velcro for closures and plastic clips that can be attached together or to the wedges. We’ve tried metal cuffs in the past, but they’re quite uncomfortable if you’re laying on them.
Under-the-mattress restraints. Looks complicated, but it’s not. The cuffs can be tucked under the mattress when not in use. These are especially useful if you don’t have a headboard suitable for tying to.
Blindfold. If you want to improvise, use a neck tie or panties.
Gags can be similarly improvised, or you can buy one.
Sex swing. We have one that can be quickly hung in a door frame and be used for a ton of positions. It’s easier than it looks.
Spreader bar. Keeps those legs apart. Can be used in many positions, including standing, but isn’t great for missionary. I made ours with a wooden dowel and some eye screws.
Pull-up bar. These can be mounted in a door way and used as a restraint point for securing someone in a standing position. Also great for getting ripped.
Vibrator. There are many kinds, but we find the egg vibrator to be the most versatile. We buy cheap ones (around $7 from Amazon) and replace them once or twice a year when they wear out. We also keep rechargeable batteries charging in our bedroom. A wand vibrator can also be useful for longer duration games or when you need more reach.
(Let me point out that you don’t actually need any toys! This post is getting long enough, so I won’t go into detail, but look forward to a future post on mental-only bondage.)
Finally, what’s fun about bondage anyway?
Intimacy. Like I said at the beginning: the essence of bondage is vulnerability, and vulnerability is the key to intimacy. Bondage will teach you new things about your spouse’s mind and body. Bondage will let you explore new levels of sexual trust. Bondage exposes you to each other in amazing ways.
Passion. Let’s face it: there can be something hot about dominating your spouse or submitting to his or her will. Maybe your sex is normally gentle and loving, and bondage lets you get a little rougher and more physically intense.
Foreplay. Bondage requires time to execute, and all that time can be used as foreplay focused on the spouse being bound.
Orgasm delay. Also known as teasing or edging. When the submissive spouse is free to move she can position her body just the right way to reach orgasm, and bondage can take away that ability and give control to the dominant spouse. It can be extremely difficult for a person to willingly back off from an orgasm when it’s close, but when using bondage the dominant spouse can pull back and keep the submissive spouse right on the edge without going over. This can make the orgasm incredibly powerful when it eventually comes.
Multiple orgasms. After a woman orgasms her clitoris may become intensely sensitive, such that further stimulation is uncomfortable. If her hands and legs are free she may push the stimulation away for relief. However, if she is bound such that she can’t “protect” her clitoris her husband can continue with the stimulation and bring her to multiple orgasms. Sexy Corte describes these as an unending plateau of orgasm, rather than the peak and descent of the normal experience. They’re also quite exhausting, so this probably isn’t something you’ll do every day. As a husband, giving my wife multiple orgasms is one of my absolute favorite things.
Fantasy. Bondage can be used as an element of fantasy or role-playing. It feels naughty, and once you’re in the naughty mindset you can free yourself to try some things that you normally wouldn’t. He’s the villain and she’s the kidnapped princess? She’s the super-spy and he’s the captured rogue agent who knows where the bomb is hidden?
Exploration. Sometimes it’s hard to ask for our sexual desires, even when the marriage has good communication. Bondage can be an avenue for exploring desires that are difficult to speak out loud but perhaps easier to request non-verbally while in the moment. New experiences can break old habits, and you’re already feeling naughty, right?
Escapism. Maybe it’s a minor form of dissociation, but bondage be a form of escapism from everyday life into a secret world of sex with your spouse.
Novelty. Bondage introduces a myriad of new sexual options, new ways to play, new positions, new toys, and maybe even new desires.
In the end bondage should be fun and promote intimacy and vulnerability in your marriage. As always, enthusiasm and responsiveness will ensure that you get the most from your sexual experience.
Let us know what you think in the comments! What are you experiences? Do you have any suggestions to add?
Shower sex can be great for getting in a quickie while visiting the in-laws and jacuzzis are luxurious for love-making marathons, but the first time you try to have sex in the water you’re liable to notice something rather inconvenient: the water washes away the wife’s natural lubricant. Even though you’re both turned on and ready to go, underwater penetration can be challenging and uncomfortable. So you hop out of the water and grab your lube — problem solved? Maybe not. The most common sex lubes are water-based, which means they will quickly disperse in the water just like her natural juices.
What’s a horny couple to do? If you’re going to go to all the trouble to arrange a romantic aquatic interlude don’t forget one important ingredient: silicone lube! Sexy Corte and I have had great experiences with a brand called Gun Oil (easy to buy online), but there are numerous options available.
Silicone lube isn’t just for playing in the water — it has a few general advantages over water-based lube.
Lasts a long time. You can have sex forever without the lube drying up.
Less irritating. Silicone lube isn’t easily absorbed into the skin, so it tends to be less of an irritant to sensitive skin.
Very slick. For when you need as much slipperiness as possible.
There are a few disadvantages as well.
Destroys silicone toys. Do not use silicone lube with silicone sex toys. It will destroy them. Silicone is a very common material for sex toys, so be very careful not to combine them.
Hard to clean. I wouldn’t use it in bed; it’s hard to get off sheets.
Tastes bad. Not toxic (check your brand), but not great for oral sex.
Silicone lube: another toy for your sexual toy box. Tell us your experience and let us know if we missed an important use!
