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Sex Q&A: Oral Sex Positions, Glow-in-the-Dark Tattoos, Multiple Orgasms 1

Here are a few emails from readers that are worth sharing with the community but don’t require long responses from us. (Some of these responses are from Sexy Corte, some are from El Fury, and some are from both of us.)

Reader “TH” asks:

How can I get my wife to read your site without knowing I sent it?

It’s best to cultivate an open channel of communication with your spouse! However, it can be difficult to get the ball rolling at the beginning. We suggest using Mailinator.com to send anonymous emails — you can even use this service to ask us a question if you don’t want to share your real address with! Simply make up a Mailinator address, or use marriedchristiansex@mailinator.com to send your email. (Note: Mailinator is a good way to send anonymously, but it’s hard to get a response back because the service deletes all incoming messages every hour.)

Wife “DO” asks:

Hello! I would like to ask more details on the Old Faithful position. Is it like 69? Does the wife’s butt face the husband’s face?

Just wanted to say thanks for setting up this website, it has been very informative and educational for married Christian couples who need all the help they can get.

For Old Faithful the husband lays on his back and the wife kneels to his side facing him, with her knees spread and near one of his hips. Then the wife bends down over the husband to perform oral sex. The husband reaches up between the wife’s legs to stimulate her at the same time. See also: “New Faithful”, and “Stimulate Both Spouses While One Is Performing Oral”.

Wife “IJ” asks:

My husband and I have been married for ten years and our sex life is AWESOME! And while I know that my husband loves it, I am often the “initiator “ which I don’t mind but I would love for him to be the sex beggar occasionally.

He works hard and doesn’t get enough sleep sometimes so I know he’s tired and I’m a stay home mom of two and I try to do things to make it easy for him at home. For example: I have dinner ready when he gets home, I lay out his towel and washcloth and always have his clothes clean and hung up so that he doesn’t have to lift a finger at home. We were both married before (unfortunately) so I don’t know if there was a lot of rejection there, but I’ve been very open that I’m ok to do it anytime and I’ve never said no. It may just be personality because he does really love it, I want to be clear that there’s no problem there and he’s very considerate of me. I just wonder if you have any advice on how to help him initiate more. Thank you, I just found y’alls website today… I love it.

It sounds like your sex life is pretty great, so yay for you guys!

It’s common for a wife to want/expect her husband to initiate, because women tend to be more “responsive” sexually, and men tend to be more “spontaneous”. Of course, everyone is different and there’s nothing at all “wrong” with you initiating more than your husband.

So, there’s nothing “wrong”, but you’d still like your husband to do more of the initiating. The best thing you can do is tell him! You may be thinking… “but if I tell him to initiate, aren’t I the one initiating?” Maybe, but he can’t read your mind.

Here are some ideas for what to say to him (if these are true):

  1. I love our sex life. You really satisfy me.
  2. I’d love it if you would initiate more. I don’t know if you’re waiting for some signal from me, but don’t bother. I’ll never say no. Just do it and you’ll see. (If he is worried about rejection, tell him explicitly that you won’t turn him away.)
  3. Here are some ways that I’ll signal that I want you: sleep naked, secret message panties, flash my boobs, etc. Make up an “innocent” signal that tells him to hit on you.

Wife “TJ” asks:

Thank you so much for this site. It has helped me and my husband so much!  We have been married for over 24 years and we have only just begun to view sexual intimacy and pleasuring one another in the correct way. I was much too uptight and focused on being a proper, good church girl. I wouldn’t dare admit I was enjoying our sexual encounters, nor would I give him a lot of attention sexually. It’s very sad looking back. We’ve both talked very openly about this over the last few weeks and it’s like we’re on a honeymoon period!  We’re trying things on your site and it’s incredible how close our relationship has become from the sexual intimacy we’ve been sharing. So, thank you so much!

My question is this: I’m having a harder time climaxing from clitoral stimulation (or any kind of stimulation).  We have sex daily, and on most days multiple times.  I’ve talked with him and he understands that I don’t expect to have an orgasm every time we have sex, but he wants me to at least once a day.  Is this difficulty coming from us having sex so often that I can’t get aroused enough to climax, as I did when we went days (and sometimes weeks) between intercourse?

Have you encountered this before?  Do you have suggestions to help me?  Is it possible for a woman to have an orgasm daily or multiple times every day?

Sexy Corte responds:

This is our favorite type of email to receive. I will say that I’m the same, it’s hard for me to have an orgasm every day. I do alright two days in a row, but if I try for three it’s a lot of work! I do best having 2-3 orgasms per week. Other times, I’m happy to have sex without an orgasm because El Fury does want to have one every day. Also, there’s a big difference in the time required — it takes him less than 10 minutes, for me it takes 20-30. I hope this helps and that your sex life with your husband continues to be fun!

And finally, a recommendation from wife “BA”:

I recommend that you try glow in the dark temporary tattoos! I put them all over my breasts, charged them up with a cell phone flashlight, and it made quite the impression in a dark bedroom. Husband keeps searching for them on Amazon now!

We will have to check those out!

We love to hear from our readers, so drop us a line.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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Henna Tattoos: Drawing on Your Spouse Is Fun and Sexy 2

When Sexy Corte and I were dating, I somewhat randomly drew on her a couple of times with a sharpie and we both found it to be fun and sensual. A few weeks ago, she suggested I use henna to create temporary tattoos on her body. I was game, but also intimidated — she’s the artistic one in the family, and I’ve never done anything like it before. She sent me this video of design ideas and then told me to draw whatever I wanted on her. No pressure, right?

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58CHvTE6w54&w=560&h=315]

I did a bit of research and decided to buy a jagua tattoo kit. Apparently henna can cause skin irritation for some people, so I decided to try an alternative considering the intimate areas involved. The kit included all the tools required to mix the ink and apply it to the skin, and simple instructions for a beginner. (Now that I’ve got a bit of proficiency I will probably just buy the ink next time.)

As for the design, I really debated — and in the end I didn’t use any of the patterns from the video above. The first tattoo I created was a design I stole from one of our board games (so geeky) that I drew on the lower front of SC’s hip (about half-covered by her panties). The second tattoo was simple: I wrote my name across her right breast in cursive.

The application process was great foreplay. She laid naked on the bed with a wand vibrator between her legs (and tried to hold still) while I used the tiny applicator to draw intricate lines on her body. By the time the tattoos were done we were both eager to get down to business!

So what’s fun about tattooing your spouse?

  • Marking your territory. It was awesome to use SC’s body as a canvas for my creativity, and she enjoyed coaxing it out of me. As I mentioned, I don’t have a lot of artistic talent, but there was something primal about marking my wife — especially with my name written across her breast.
  • Submission. SC made a few suggestions and requests (e.g., the tattoos should be concealable with clothing), but it was extremely sexy to be given carte blanche to draw on her body however I wanted. That she wanted me to express myself on her body was a huge turn-on.
  • Durability. Most sex is over when it’s over, but temporary tattoos can last two weeks! Whenever SC looks at herself in the mirror she is reminded of me and her act of submission, and whenever I see her I’m reminded of my dominance. For us, that’s sexy! Just seeing the tattoos on her skin turns me on and makes me want her. (Similar to why trying-to-get-pregnant sex is some of the best sex.)
  • Creative. You can draw anything, anywhere. A picture, a love letter, an abstract pattern, a symbol, a poem, anything you can imagine.
  • Vulnerability. It takes vulnerability to be creative, and vulnerability is sexy. I was pretty nervous about tattooing SC — afraid it would look bad or be silly — but her enthusiasm and encouragement nudged me along. And, of course, she was even more vulnerable than I was, since she was the canvas!
  • Secret. Hidden tattoos are a sensual inside joke to share with your spouse. If the drawings are on intimate areas, you can even flash them discreetly to get your spouse’s attention in public.
  • Temporary. The tattoos are durable, but they eventually fade… and then you get to draw something new! I’ve already got several ideas for our next round of tattooing.

Here are a few tips that will make your tattooing experience as awesome as possible.

  • Prepare your kit in advance. I started mixing the ink after SC was already naked, so I rushed while she waited.
  • Set expectations. Make sure you agree on where and what are desirable.
  • Keep it simple. Don’t make the tattoo too complicated, especially if it’s your first time. Pick a simple pattern and practice it on the skin with magic marker.
  • Stimulation during application. Figure out a way to physically stimulate each other during the tattooing process. In this instance, with SC on her back, we used a wand vibrator. Next time I’m planning to tattoo her butt, and we’ll try doing it doggy style.
  • Plan for drying time. The tattoos take 30-40 minutes to dry, so plan accordingly. In our case, we did the hip tattoo first since it would be hard to avoid smudging it during sex.

So there you have it, our first experience with temporary tattoos! Have you ever done this kind of thing with your spouse? Got tips or questions? Leave a comment!

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