by ·1 Comment

Here’s a fascinating study about using light therapy to increase the libido of men with low sex drives. Don’t worry, it’s not some hippy thing!

Exposure to bright light – similar to daylight – boosts levels of the male hormone testosterone and can triple sexual satisfaction, the research found.

“Before treatment, both groups averaged a sexual satisfaction score of around two out of 10, but after treatment the group exposed to the bright light was scoring sexual satisfaction scores of around 6.3 – a more than three-fold increase on the scale we used. In contrast, the control group only showed an average score of around 2.7 after treatment.”

While average blood levels of testosterone in the “control” group remained at around 2.3 nanograms per millilitre (ng/ml) before and after the study, those of the men receiving active light treatment rose from 2.1 ng/ml to 3.6 ng/ml.

“The increased levels of testosterone explain the greater reported sexual satisfaction,” said Prof Fagiolini. “In the northern hemisphere, the body’s testosterone production naturally declines from November through April, and then rises steadily through the spring and summer with a peak in October. You see the effect of this in reproductive rates, with the month of June showing the highest rate of conception. The use of the light box really mimics what nature does.”

The article doesn’t mention it, but testosterone is also essential for women’s libido. (Though, of course, at lower levels of the hormone than men require.)

And best of all, you don’t need a fancy “light box”! Just go outside and bare some skin to that giant ball of fire in the sky that God helpfully provided — for free! The study quoted above indicates that as little as 30 minutes per day in the sun will have an effect, so go get some exercise.

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·19 Comments

There’s an attention-grabbing headline! Of course, “skinny” isn’t really optimal, and whatever can be said for wives can be said for husbands, too. Let’s see what Ginny Hartley says.

After the birth of our third child, I was clinging onto extra weight far longer than I did after my first two pregnancies.

My husband definitely noticed my more ample features, and while he didn’t seem to mind one bit, my insecurity about my postpartum body quickly started to get in the way of our love life.

As someone who had spent most of her life being defined by athleticism, I was at a total loss when I realized I was no longer the lean girl my husband fell in love with.

When I married my husband, I was barely out of my teenage years and a rail-thin 102 lbs. I couldn’t fathom a day would come when I would gain considerable weight or have trouble staying fit. Fast forward seven years and three kids, and it’s a whole different story.

That once effortlessly skinny physique is now a thing of the past. But so what if I have to work for it? I’m willing to put in the extra effort to stay fit for the sake of my marriage.

I think there are two important and related concepts here: health and attractiveness.

First, we have a responsibility to God, ourselves, and our family to be as healthy as possible.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Being fit is an essential component of being physically healthy, but health is more than just fitness. Mental, spiritual, and social health are as important as physical health, and we should pursue them all — just like Jesus did as he grew up.

Luke 2:52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.

Those four elements of health are fodder for a post of their own someday.

Second, we have a responsibility to our spouse to be as attractive as possible. Fortunately, attractiveness tends to follow health — if you focus on health, you get attractiveness almost for free! (It’s still worthwhile to put some energy into your wardrobe, of course.)

Health and attractiveness get more difficult to maintain as we get older, for both men and women — but women feel more pressure for cultural and biological reasons. Having babies is really difficult, and most men don’t work at jobs that are as physically demanding as pregnancy and childbirth are.

And so, as with all things in life, we need to do our best and trust God. I really like what Mrs. Hartley says here:

We want to raise our kids to respect their bodies and physical health. I have to practice what I preach. I need to workout for my mental health. I need to stay physically fit to keep up with the demands of raising three kids.

I need to maintain my weight so I feel confident in my body — not because I’m vain, but because I want to be the best version of myself.

God, your spouse, and your family deserve the best version of you! Being the best you takes intention, effort, time, and energy. It isn’t easy.

What do you do to be your best you, physically or otherwise? Leave a comment!

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·6 Comments

If you need yet another sciencey reason to have more sex consider this: sex releases oxytocin, and oxytocin helps keep you slim.

Forget eating salad and pounding on the treadmill – regular sex can help dieters keep slim.

On top of burning around 100 calories an hour, it also triggers the release of a hormone which may stop us overeating, new research suggests.

Oxytocin, dubbed the love or cuddle hormone, is released after sex to induce feelings of trust and affection, bonding couples together.

‘Oxytocin enhances prosocial and related behaviors. Increases in oxytocin tend to decrease appetite – especially the consumption of sweet carbohydrates,’ she said.

And that’s not all! Not only does your body produce its own oxytocin when you have sex, but wives also absorb oxytocin from their husbands’ semen — improving their health and mood.

Vaginal tissue is very absorptive. It’s richly endowed with blood and lymph vessels. Given vaginal absorptiveness and all the mood-elevating compounds in found in semen, Gallup, Burch, and SUNY colleague Steven Platek wondered if semen exposure might be associated with better mood and less depression. They surveyed 293 college women at SUNY Albany about intercourse with and without condoms, and then gave the women the Beck Depression Inventory, a standard test of mood. Compared with women who “always” or “usually” used condoms, those who “never” did, whose vaginas were exposed to semen, showed significantly better mood–fewer depressive symptoms, and less bouts of depression. In addition, compared to women who had no intercourse at all, the semen-exposed women showed more elevated mood and less depression.

So next time you’re feeling down or craving something sweet, grab your spouse instead of a treat!

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·3 Comments

A new study says that maintaining an active sex life is good for the health of your brain.

Older guys who get laid regularly have better “brain health” and are less likely to lose memory, according to the Coventry University study.

Men ages 50 to 89 with active sex lives scored 23 percent higher on cognitive word tests and 3 percent higher on numbers puzzles, according to the researchers, who quizzed 6,800 people across England.

Women who had more sex scored better on the word test but not the numbers test.

The improvement for men on the numbers test was pretty small (only 3%) so that result is questionable. It’s safe to say that more sex is good for the brains of both men and women (though correlation does not equal causation). So, if you want to protect your brain, maintain your ability to recall lists of words, and boost your immune system, I recommend that you have frequent sex.

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·6 Comments

Reader “H” asks:

I enjoy reading your blog but I get pretty bummed because I never have an orgasm. I had them when I was younger but not anymore. My husband is a wonderful man and tries very hard but to no avail. I can’t even get it with a vibrator. Do you have any suggestions for me?

Thanks for your email. I am sorry to hear you can’t reach orgasm anymore! Have you talked to your doctor about it? It sounds like it could be a medical problem since you used to be able to. Your first step might be to talk to your doctor.

As for what you can do at home, how long do you “try” for? I know for me, it takes a good 15-20 minutes of stimulation for me to orgasm, and I know that varies for different women — do you need more time? I also think a big part of orgasm is mental. For me, if I feel like I am taking too long or something, I start to worry about my husband enjoying himself. That paired with at some point hearing a kid wake up or something else can usually cause a downward spiral to where I lose momentum altogether. Trying to stay focused, relaxed, and IN the moment is a big part of me being able to orgasm.

Your (and your husband) may also want to read How to Help Your Wife Orgasm, How to Rub a Clitoris: Pulling Back the Curtain, and I Can’t Have An Orgasm!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·2 Comments

Here’s an interesting study that looked at the most comfortable sexual positions for people with back pain. The most common advice that physicians give is for couples to use the spooning position to avoid back pain, but that seems to be wrong.

“I’m assuming because people lay on their side, someone thought the spine would be supported and this was good for people, but it turned out not to be true,” [Professor Stuart McGill, professor of spine biomechanics at the University of Waterloo, Ontario] says.

For men with that particular back pain trigger, the study suggested ‘doggy-style’ sex was far less likely to aggravate the back problem.

In general, the researchers found that the person on top—whether male or female—is most responsible for motion.

For individuals with back pain triggered by movement, the researchers suggested there was no position that would avoid pain, and advised instead that they should try to move more using their hips than their back.

“The more the hinging takes place at their hip, the less the hinging takes place in their spine, the better off [their back is],” McGill says.

Basically, the person with the back pain should be in the top/active position, so that they can control the movement and avoid painful or aggravating motions. Check out our post about doggy style for some ideas!

The study also had some observations about orgasm strength. It’s not your imagination, some orgasms are stronger than others.

Researchers were also able to measure the impact of orgasm on the body, which yielded some surprises.

“I had no idea of the range; how it’s basically a non-event in some people, through to really substantial muscle contraction in others, and you could see that if they were out of position, they would hurt themselves,” says McGill.

Here’s to a pain-free, sexually adventurous new year with your spouse! If you’ve got any tips for avoiding back pain during or after sex, please leave a comment.

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·22 Comments

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #013: How to Admire Your Husband’s Sexuality

This probably strikes most wives as a strange topic, but maximizing the quantity of our semen is often a matter of pride and fun for men. What’s the deal?

More semen symbolically means more of all these things. In addition to the power of semen as a symbol, more semen can also have some some physical significance. Here are some facts.

  • Most men ejaculate about 5 milliliters of semen at a time. That’s about a teaspoon. Of course, there’s wide variation among men.
  • Semen and sperm are different. Semen contains sperm, but it also includes a host of healthy ingredients.
  • Semen quantity and sperm quantity are related, so more semen generally means more total sperm ejaculated; this can increase your chance of conception.
  • More semen often means that the man had a longer orgasm, which is certainly an indirect benefit.
  • As with most things in life, heredity plays a huge role in the quantity of a man’s semen.
  • Pills and supplements are extremely unlikely to affect the quantity of your semen. Save your money.

There are a few things a man can do to maximize the quantity and quality of his semen. I say maximize rather than increase because a man can move towards the top of his natural range, but he can’t change his physiology. So what can a man do?

  • Hydration. Semen is mostly water, so make sure you’re drinking enough. Unless you’re dehydrated though, drinking more water probably won’t increase your semen volume.
  • Edging. Here’s our big post about edging, but the idea is simple: long-duration stimulation that gets you to the edge of orgasm. The longer and more intense the stimulation, the more semen will be locked and loaded.
  • Excercise your pubococcygeus muscle. Women do Kegel exercises to improve their orgasms, and men can do them too. Strengthening your pelvic floor will improve your orgasms and give you more control over when you orgasm. (Make sure you practice contractions and extensions.)
  • Maintain your fitness. Exercise improves circulation, and improved circulation will improve the strength of your erection and orgasm. (Not to mention all the other health benefits of lifting.)
  • Reduce ejaculation frequency. As you’ve probably noticed, there’s more semen when you haven’t ejaculated for a couple of days — but is that a price you’re willing to pay? I’d rather have more sex with my wife than less sex with more semen per orgasm. However, increased semen volume can be a pleasant benefit when you come back together after being separated for a couple of days. It seems that a man builds up his maximum amount of semen in two to three days, so there’s no benefit to waiting longer than that.
  • Make it look like more. Since the desire for more semen is mostly about the symbolism, increase the power of the symbol by making your semen look like more. Spread your semen around when you ejaculate. See if your wife is open to you shooting it on her face, breasts, or stomach. When you ejaculate in her vagina, take a look before she cleans up. When you ejaculate in her mouth, ask her to show it to you before she swallows.
  • Enjoy what you’ve got. Talk about your semen with your wife. Before sex, tell her that you can’t wait to come inside her. Tell your wife you’d love her to beg for your come during sex or a blow job. After sex, savor the view of your semen on your wife, in her vagina, or in her mouth. Touch it, rub it around, taste it. Later, tell her how hot it is to you that your semen is still inside her or leaking into her panties. Wives: tell your husband that you love his semen, that it tastes amazing, that you want it all over your body, that you need it inside you. Make a show of enjoying your husband’s semen after he ejaculates. Revel in his power and masculinity!

So, husbands and wives, what do you think? Do you have any tips to share? Anything kinky we need to try?

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·27 Comments

We’re pretty frugal and my hair is simple, so Sexy Corte cuts my hair for me on a regular basis. (I don’t blame her for not requesting that I return the favor.) I’m sure many wives do the same, so here’s an idea for making the chore a little more entertaining.

  1. Tell him you’ll cut his hair after the kids go to bed, and that he’ll get a special treat. Tease him all day, but don’t give away your plan.
  2. Sit him in the chair, wrap him in a towel, and then take off your top. Don’t be shy, take off as much as you want. He won’t complain.
  3. Tell him to hold still and keep his hands on the towel. He can look as much as he wants, but no touching!
  4. Give him a good show — stretch, twist, reach, and bounce in his face.
  5. When he’s squirming in agony, accidentally brush your breasts across his shoulder or face. Oops!
  6. When you’re done, bring him the mirror. “Do you like what you see? Would you like to see it from behind? Is my job finished? Are you going to give me a tip?”
  7. Proceed to your favorite flavor of chair sex.

I’m sure SC isn’t the only amateur barber! Does anyone else have a story to share about sexing up a chore?

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·4 Comments

Having frequent sex throughout a woman’s monthly cycle boosts her immune system and increases the chance of conception. No mention of whether men benefit from more sex, but I’m going to guess yes.

The researchers also found that during the follicular phase of the menstrual cycle—the period of time before ovulation—Type 1 T-cell count surged in sexually active. This helps the body safeguard against illnesses and infections that could ultimately inhibit a woman’s chance of becoming pregnant.

The second paper looked at immunoglobulin antibody levels in women who were sexually active and compared them to the levels in those who were not. These antibodies are produced by white blood cells and are critical to fighting off bacteria, viruses and other microbes. The researchers found that sexually active women had higher levels of certain antibodies at different times of their cycle, and the pattern reflected the body’s efforts to ramp up its protective defense to prepare for the potential for pregnancy. The researchers did not observe the same fluctuations in T-cell counts and immunoglobulins in non–sexually active women.

Short version: have more sex if you want to get sick less or are trying to conceive.

If you liked this, please share it!