Reader “RN” sends in this story:
We had a very bad ice storm hit Oklahoma earlier this week if you haven’t heard. Sadly, we lost our massive and beautiful oak tree out front. I spent most of yesterday cutting it up. Afterwards when I came inside to take a shower my wife was waiting for me in her sexy robe. She said, “Sir, I’m afraid I can’t pay you for your chainsaw work, but maybe we can work something out”…
…that was the quickest shower I ever took!
“Sex robots” are everywhere in the media these days, from television, to movies, to the news.
In HBO’s series “Westworld,” humans pay for sex with robots in an anything-goes Wild West-inspired theme park. In the movie “Her,” a man falls in love with his Siri-like operating system. And in AMC’s show “Humans,” a husband has an affair with his pretty robotic assistant.
It’s the stuff of science fiction. But could a world in which robots are at our sexual beck and call be nearer than we think? What would that mean for humanity and for our sex lives?
Most experts agree that we’re at least decades away from a true “Westworld” scenario. We just don’t have the technology to create robots that can function as realistic sex partners, but we may be getting closer.
You might think that’s icky, but I’ll bet many of you already have a sex robot in your bedroom…
Vibrators, dildos, and other toys can be great fun and enhance sex with your spouse, as long as you’re careful to make sure they don’t replace your spouse!
Well guess what? We just got a sex robot of our very own! It’s awesome in the bedroom, of course, but we’ve already used it in every room of the house. Say hello to our cute little Xiaomi Mi Robot Vacuum. It’s basically like a Roomba, but better.
How does a robot vacuum relate to sex, you ask? Does it have some… uh… special attachments? No, even better: it saves Sexy Corte two hours every week and a ton of stress. Vacuuming while surrounded by toddlers is a lot of work, and now the robot does almost all of it. She can spend those hours doing all sorts of other productive things, including sexy stuff with me!
So, husbands, would you like your wife to have less stress and more time and energy for sex? Consider buying her the ultimate sex robot, a robot vacuum: the robot that helps you have more sex with each other. And wives, every time that robot zooms past, make sure to give your husband a little vicarious “choreplay” credit for the work its doing.
This 30-second commercial for Enjoli perfume illustrates the conflicting, overwhelming demands that the world puts on women. Husband, don’t try to make your wife into the woman in this commercial! If you expect her to have the energy to “kiss you and give you the shivers” then make sure she isn’t overloaded with burdens the world says she has to carry, but are of little eternal value.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Q0P94wyBYk&w=420&h=315]
I thought it would be interesting to share my perspective on Choreplay after El Fury’s post. I have been thinking on this concept a while and have a few thoughts:
1. I agree that the idea of trading sex for chores seems like borderline prostitution. However, I also agree with our readers that if this is done in a lighthearted way, it can be fun. If you know that Acts of Service is your spouse’s love language, and can spice up doing dishes while being sexy, go for it! I do think it is dangerous to toy with using sex for manipulation, especially if you imply sex is on the table and don’t deliver it.
2. El Fury and I assume the more traditional gender chores naturally simply because I stay at home with our pre-schoolers. So, I am happy to take care of the majority of the chores while El Fury works. I can remember when I did work full time after our first baby was born. It was so hard to balance taking care of the baby, household chores, and spending time with our family. At that time of my life, I greatly appreciated any help El Fury would give with chores. It helped to ease the burden, and relieved some of my stress. I’m sure this did help to keep my libido intact, although I don’t recall looking at El Fury with a load of laundry and thinking, “ah yeah”. But, as one of our readers commented, less stress is better for sex, so it was probably indirectly related. I will say though, there is something very sexy about El Fury using his drill while wearing a plain white shirt. Rawr. So maybe the studies are right and women find man-chores sexy!
3. I think the studies El Fury cites are interesting. The study says that couples had sex 1.6 times more a month when couples assumed traditional gender chores. I am curious of what the base average amount of sex for those couples is. For us, having sex 1.6 times more a month isn’t really a lot! But, if you are a couple that isn’t having a lot of sex, that could be a lot more sex.
4. What I think is the most important part of this whole idea of choreplay is to find out what your spouse finds sexy, and do that. You are the ONLY person that can fulfill your spouse sexually. That is a big responsibility. Be interested, and be interesting to your spouse. I have heard before that you should be a student of your spouse. You love each other, so be sexy for each other.
Maybe you’ve heard of “choreplay”, but is it real? Can a wife really get more sex by doing more chores around the house? Yes, I can confirm choreplay is a real thing — watching Sexy Corte do chores in lingerie always turns me on. Well, that was a short post.
Oh wait, you want to know if choreplay works in the other direction? Does the sight of a husband doing chores get his wife all hot for him? According to Keelie, yes.
As far as fun turn ons…yeah…any guy that is standing at the sink doing dishes is gonna get it later. It doesn’t just have to be dishes, but a guy can do any chore that their wives don’t like.
To frame our discussion, I want to distinguish between two different phenomena.
Let’s talk about Type 1 first. Research shows that doing more chores can increase sexual frequency, as long as you’re doing the right chores.
Does the sight of men doing traditional female chores turn women off? A new study suggests that the more time men spend on household tasks, the less sex they have.
“Our findings suggest the importance of socialized gender roles for sexual frequency in heterosexual marriage,” lead author Sabino Kornrich, junior researcher at the Center for Advanced Studies at the Juan March Institute in Madrid, said in a press release. “Couples in which men participate more in housework typically done by women report having sex less frequently. Similarly, couples in which men participate more in traditionally masculine tasks — such as yard work, paying bills, and auto maintenance — report higher sexual frequency.”
Each individual husband, wife, and marriage are different of course, but if you want to increase sexual frequency by doing more chores then your best bet is do to chores that match your gender role. Husbands should do things like taking out the trash, fixing stuff, paying bills, and manual labor. Women should do the housework and take care of the kids.
So, Keelie appears to be wrong on average. In fact, a husband who does a lot of dishes is probably getting laid less then a husband who doesn’t. These kinds of effects are largely subconscious, and I doubt that many wives would know or admit that they’d want more sex if their husbands did less housework.
Couples in which women did all of the traditional female chores had sex 1.6 times more each month than couples in which men did all of those jobs. The more cooking and cleaning a husband did, the less sex the couple had; women’s cooking and cleaning was linked with more sex. Couples in which men did more traditional male chores also had more sex; it did not seem to matter if women did more or less of those chores.
If you want more sex, do more chores that match your gender role and fewer that don’t. If you increase the chores you do that don’t match your gender, you’ll end up having less sex than before.
So let’s talk about Type 2: explicit trading of chores for sex. For example, “if you clean up the kitchen tonight, I’ll give you a blowjob”. On some level, this kind of exchange probably makes some people uncomfortable, including me. Why?
I get all that, and I feel similarly. The sexual relationship between a husband and wife should be mutually edifying, loving, gracious, and sacrificial.
But, let’s be real for a second. If you ask your best friend to mow your lawn once, he’ll gladly say yes. If you ask him to do it every week, it’s only polite to offer something in return. If you need your lawn mowed right now, then you’re going to owe him a favor. These trades don’t negate your best-friendship, they strengthen it. They show your best friend that you value him, that you don’t want to take advantage of him, and that you’re grateful for his help.
Spouses are different than best friends, but I think the principles of maintaining a relationship still apply. You value your spouse. You don’t want to take advantage of your spouse. You’re grateful when your spouse helps you out. An explicit exchange demonstrates all this, and it greases the wheels of cooperation and affection. Aside from just more sex, you could also trade for some sex act that your spouse just doesn’t enjoy as much as you do.
Of course, not every chore or every sex act should be a negotiated exchange. However, if you’re laboring at an implicit exchange and it just isn’t working, why not be more explicit? Your spouse can’t read your mind; maybe she doesn’t know what you want. If you want something you’re not getting, offering a trade can open up lines of communication and possibly help the two of you to reach a mutually beneficial arrangement. Just remember to keep the relationship first!
And if your spouse asks you to do a chore that doesn’t match your gender, don’t expect to get extra sex unless it’s agreed to in advance.