After posting How To Admire Your Husband’s Penis (and the related podcast episode) we received a couple of emails asking for advice on how a husband can admire his wife’s body. We’re going to tackle that question in this post, beginning with some advice for a wife on how to present her body to her husband for his admiration and attention.
A husband usually isn’t hesitant to flaunt his penis in front of his wife, particularly during a sexual encounter, but many women are shy about their bodies even with their husbands. We receive frequent emails from female readers who suffer from body shame in one form or another, which is very common in our culture today. On this blog we encourage readers to put an effort into being fit and attractive for their spouses, but you’ve got to maintain realistic expectations for yourself and your spouse. This blog can’t solve everyone’s body fears (not even our own), but for the purposes of this post we’re going to assume that you can overcome any anxiety you may have over your body and put your best self forward for your spouse!
“Presentation is everything” generally refers to food, but men are visual creatures and our hunger is naturally drawn to anything that looks tasty — including our wives. In Get (and Give) a Better View of the Action we shared some tips for positioning your bodies during sex so that you can watch the penetration happening, but in this post we’re going to focus on foreplay. Wife, your husband wants to see your naked body! All of it. He wants to devour you with his eyes (and hopefully his mouth too). When you discard your shyness and anxiety and present your body to him, he will make it worth your while.
Here are some tips for how a wife can present her body to her husband:
- Naked. Sexy lingerie is fine for some occasions, but for the purposes of sexual presentation you want to be naked and uncovered. Let him see your whole body.
- Clean. Be clean and well-groomed. Make yourself appetizing. Wash, shave, brush your teeth, etc.
- Unashamed. Don’t be shy and withdrawn, be bold! Put yourself out there, mind and body. Shoulders back. Back arched. Head up.
- Vulnerable. Be willing to be vulnerable in front of your husband. Let him see and touch you. Don’t shy away from his eyes or hands.
- Open. Keep an open posture — spread your legs open to reveal your lady bits; keep your arms down at your sides or behind your back to expose your breasts; keep your head up and your eyes open.
- Inviting. If your husband is shy, invite him to look at you and touch you. Ask him how he wants you to position yourself, or if he wants you to touch yourself. Help him to be comfortable admiring you.
- Submissive. Follow your husband’s lead. Even if he’s being shy, invite him to take control of you. Ask him to lead you, and then do what he says.
- Eye contact. Keep your eyes on your husband. You don’t need to stare constantly into his eyes, but make sure he has your attention while he admires you.
- Enthusiastic and responsive. Don’t be reluctant or hesitant, or your husband might back off. Be enthusiastic for him and respond to his admiration with obvious pleasure.
There are several positions that are particularly good for a wife to present herself to her husband. The purpose of these positions is to give your husband a good view of your body and to make your body available for his admiration and enjoyment.
- Standing. Stand up straight, spread your feet shoulder-width apart, put your shoulders back, put your arms behind your back, arch your back, and hold your head up.
- Kneeling. Sit on your heels with your knees spread, hands on your thighs, shoulders back, back arched, head up.
- Spread-eagle. Lie on your back with your legs open and your arms over your head or at your sides. You can keep your legs flat, or lift your knees, or lift your legs up into the air depending on how good of a view you want to give your husband.
- Doggy-style. On your hands and knees, with your butt facing your husband. Knees slightly apart, back arched. Keep your head up and look back at your husband over your shoulder — you’ll probably see a look of pure lust on his face.
Now that the wife is presenting herself, what can the husband do to admire her body? We’re going to copy some of the ideas from How to Admire Your Husband’s Penis and adapt them for a husband admiring his wife.
- Don’t be afraid of your wife’s body. If your wife is using the ideas above, she’s presenting her body to you because she wants you to look at her and touch her. Don’t be shy. She’s inviting you in. If you hesitate or act uncomfortable she’s going to notice and feel self-conscious herself. Your boldness and eagerness for her will increase your wife’s confidence.
- Explore your wife’s body. Use your eyes, hands, fingers, and mouth to explore your wife’s body. When your wife presents herself to you don’t jump straight into sex — take some time to enjoy the meal! Don’t focus exclusively on her sexual parts; show her that you admire her whole body. Go slowly. Show your admiration for her body through your touch.
- Be confident and take control. Your wife is making herself vulnerable and submissive, so you need to lead the activities. Don’t be reluctant to tell her how to move or position herself, but remember that the focus is on her body, not yours! Guide her to the behavior that will help you pleasure and admire her. Try telling her what to do instead of moving her yourself — give her an opportunity to be submissive.
- Admire your wife’s physicality. Tell your wife how much you love her body. Be specific: what do you like about it? Not just what parts, but what qualities? For example:
- “I love the way you smell”
- “I love the way you taste”
- “You’re so soft and warm”
- “Your breasts look amazing”
- “I love the way you feel in my hands”
- “I want to feel myself slide into you”
- “Looking at you makes me so hard”
- “I can’t help staring at you”
- “I’ve been wanting to see you like this all day”
- “You’re so wet, you must want something”
- Tell her what you’re going to do to her sexually. Just like men, women want to be wanted. Tell your wife how much you want to make love with her, and what you want to do with her.
- “I can’t wait to get my hands all over you”
- “I’m going to make you scream in pleasure”
- “I’m going to kiss every inch of your body”
- “I’m going to eat you out till you beg me to stop”
- “I’m going to explode if I can’t get inside you”
- Responsiveness during sex. Admire your wife’s body while you’re having sex.
- Moaning and groaning in general are sexy. Don’t act deceptively, just verbalize the pleasure you’re feeling.
- “Your body feels so good against me”
- “You’re so tight on me”
- “You feel so good in my arms”
- “I love feeling your legs wrapped around me”
- “You look so sexy when you ride me”
- “I’m going to explode inside you”
- “I can’t wait to feel your orgasm”
- Admire her body after sex. Tell your wife how much you enjoyed her body.
- “Your body is amazing”
- “You’re so sexy”
- “I love the way you were moving”
- “I love holding you while you orgasm”
- “It feels so good to come inside you”
- “You know just how to touch me”
- “I never want to let your body go”
Whew, that’s a long post! Hopefully these ideas will help wives be open and vulnerable with their bodies, and help husbands to show admiration and love for their wives. If you’ve got any more ideas or questions, leave a comment below!
Great ideas. I wholeheartedly agree with telling her how she makes you feel and what you’re going to do to her sexually. Some wives can feel like they aren’t that attractive if their husbands go too slow and don’t talk.
Make sure she knows the only reason you’re going slow is to embrace as much of her as possible for as long as you can. Telling her what you’re going to do sexually also helps reassure her that she is alluring.
Spread Eagle is probably the best position for bodily exploration IMHO. The couple can lay together with the husband having an excellent view and access to the front of his wife’s body.
A good way to transition to intercourse from here would be for the wife to get into doggy style. Now the husband has a great view and access to the back of his wife’s body as well as the allure of passionate intercourse.
Another way a husband can admire his wife’s body during sex is by verbally and visually focusing on a specific body part to bring himself to climax.
For example if the couple are having sex in the missionary position the husband can tell his wife to watch his face as he visually enjoys her breasts. He can then start talking about her breasts and how much they delight him. The husband can use this outpouring of erotic feeling to push himself over the edge. Then as the husband climaxes he can exclaim something like, “Oh your perfect breasts”, signifying it was that specific body part that pushed him over the edge.
I think it’s great to use words to communicate! We should all cultivate a spirit of boldness with our spouse, rather than shyness.