by ·0 Comments
Role-Playing: Shoplifter and Police Officer 1

Lots of people ask us for more role-playing scenarios, so here’s one we haven’t tried yet: shoplifter and police officer.

(If you haven’t read the how-to do sexual role-playing post yet, you might want to start there. Don’t worry… it’s normal to feel a little silly and awkward at first!)

The setup: The shoplifter is suspected of stealing something, and the police officer has been called to investigate. This scenario seems particularly suitable for either spouse to play either role, but I’m going to write this up as if the wife is the Shoplifter and the husband is the Officer. It’s important to remember that role-playing is play. Both spouses should be comfortable and have fun, even though the play puts the Officer in a position of power.

The Shoplifter and Police Officer scenario is fun for several reasons:

  • Power exchange. The power dynamic between the Officer and the Shoplifter is fun to play with. The Shoplifter can’t leave until the Officer is satisfied — satisfied that nothing was stolen, of course. The Officer may be completely upright in his approach, but he needs to search the Shoplifter very thoroughly before he can let her go. Or maybe the Officer has other intentions and sees this as an opportunity to take advantage of the beautiful and vulnerable Shoplifter. Or maybe the Shoplifter decides to seduce the Officer so she can escape with her stolen goods. There are several different ways to play the scenario.
  • Familiar emotional hooks. Even if you’ve never shoplifted or caught a shoplifter, the emotional hooks in this scenario should be pretty straight forward. The Shoplifter wants to get away, with or without her stolen goods. The Officer wants to catch the thief… or maybe he can be convinced to look the other way. Can the Officer find the stolen items that the Shoplifter has hidden around her body? Can the Shoplifter talk her way out of the situation, or maybe use her mouth in some other way?
  • Clear goals. The goals are pretty straight forward, since we know the Shoplifter is guilty. Phase 1: The Shoplifter has hidden a few small items around her body, and the Officer needs to find them. The Shoplifter will try to avoid being searched, but she grudgingly complies with the Officer’s instructions. Phase 2: Eventually the Officer will find the stolen items and tell the Shoplifter that she’s in big trouble. The Shoplifter will realize the seriousness of the situation and try to find some other way out. How far is she willing to go to satisfy the Officer and avoid arrest?

Here’s a note that the Officer can send to the Shoplifter in advance to set things up. (You can adjust the language if the Shoplifter is initiating the scenario.)

You are being detained for suspicion of shoplifting. You will meet Officer El Fury in the detention room at 8pm so that he can question you and search you for stolen goods. This is a very serious situation, and your cooperation is required. (Hide 1-3 small items (like jewelry) on your person and meet me in our bedroom at 8pm.)

Each spouse should complete their preparations before the designated start time. Potential props to prepare in advance:

  • Jewelry or stolen goods. The Shoplifter should hide some small, valuable items on her person.
  • Detention room. The Officer should prepare the detention room with any investigatory props they may want to use: notebook and pen, handcuffs, (fake) camera, (fake) tape recorder.
  • Lube, vibrator, washcloth. All the usual tools and toys.

Here are some tips for the Officer and ideas for things he can say.

  • Dress like a police detective, including a badge, a notebook for clues, and handcuffs.
  • Attitude. You should stand and loom over the sitting Shoplifter. Walk around her in a superior manner. Ask intrusive questions and make her defend herself from your accusations.
  • Questions. Ask a lot of vague and threatening questions.
  • Searching. Put your hands all over the Shoplifter and search her for stolen goods. Make her remove her clothes, one piece at a time. Dismiss her objections, since you’re just doing your job.
  • “You’re not leaving this room until my investigation is complete.”
  • “I’m sure you’re innocent, but I’ve got to search you just to make sure.” “You don’t have anything to hide, do you?”
  • “Do you know why you’re here?” “When I search you, am I going to find anything?”
  • “If you have stolen anything I’m going to find it, and you’re going to go to jail.”
  • “You’re going to jail unless you convince me otherwise.”
  • “Take off your shirt. Fold it and put it on the table.” Make a show of searching her shirt and then feeling around her naked skin.
  • “Take off your pants/skirt. Fold them and put them on the table.”
  • “I need you to take off your bra. You could have something hidden in there.” Rub your fingers all over her skin, as if there could be something hidden anywhere.
  • “I need you to take off your panties. I can’t let you go until I’ve finished searching you.”
  • “Lift up your arms.” “Spread your legs.” “Turn around and bend over.”
  • “I can’t give you your clothes back until my investigation is complete.”
  • “I can feel how wet you are. I can see your nipples are hard. Is this turning you on?” “It looks like this is arousing you. Are you enjoying this? Do you think this is a game?”
  • “Considering all this jewelry you stole, you’re going to spend the next two years in jail. Why shouldn’t I arrest you?”
  • “If you want me to let you go, you’re going to have to give me a reason.” “Why should I risk my job for you?” “What’s in it for me?”
  • “I really don’t want to send you to jail. Maybe we can find you a way out of this. What can you offer me?”
  • “I know you’re a naughty girl. Why don’t you show me how naughty?”
  • “Are you a good girl or a bad girl?” “Good girls get down on their knees. Bad girls get spanked first.”
  • “Yes, you can pay your fine directly to me. One orgasm for each of us.”
  • “You did the crime, now you have to put in the work to get us both off.”

Here are some tips for the Shoplifter and ideas for things she can say.

  • Dress in clothes that will be fun to search and remove, and that you can hide your stolen goods in. Hide the goods all over your body so the Officer has to search everywhere to find them all.
  • Attitude. There are a lot of ways you can play this. You can be bratty and annoyed that you’re under suspicion, or scared at the prospect of going to jail, or angry and defiant, or eager and apologetic. Mix it up and change your attitude through the course of the scenario. Though you might be resistant and resentful, you should (eventually) comply with the Officer’s requests. If you want the scenario to get more physically rough then make sure you talk about it beforehand.
  • Make the Officer’s job difficult. Never reveal any stolen items, make him find them. Deny and deflect. Turn away. Refuse to follow instructions (at first).
  • “This is ridiculous, I didn’t steal anything.” “You can’t prove anything.” “Let me go.”
  • “You want to search me? No way, you can’t do that.” “You can’t just touch me like that!”
  • “Wait, I could go to jail? For what?” “I don’t know how that got there.”
  • “Why do I have to take off my shirt? Can’t you just pat me down or something? Ok ok, fine, I’ll take it off.”
  • “My pants too? This is ridiculous.”
  • “You want me to take off my bra? Is this necessary?” “And my panties?”
  • “Ok, so I stole a few things. It’s not that big a deal. You found them, so can I go now?”
  • “Can I have my clothes back and get dressed?”
  • “Maybe there’s some other way we can deal with this.” “Is there some way I can pay a fine to you right now and make this all go away?”
  • “Listen, I don’t want to get arrested.” “What do you want me to do?” “Just tell me, I’ll do anything to avoid jail.”
  • “I’ve never done this before.” “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
  • “I’m a good girl. Let me prove it to you.”
  • “Yes I’m a bad girl, but I’ve never been caught before. You deserve some kind of reward.” “Maybe you can teach me to be a good girl.”
  • “So if I give us each an orgasm then I can go?” “I’ll do whatever it takes.”

Afterwards, break the scene and leave your roles. The game is over (for now), so go back to being your normal selves. Have a good cuddle. Talk about your favorite parts of the scene. Later on, after the glow wears off, discuss anything you didn’t like and wouldn’t choose to do again. If your spouse really liked some element that wasn’t your favorite, negotiate and compromise and find the common ground that works for your marriage.

Have you ever role-played with your spouse in a scenario like this before? Did you enjoy it? Leave a comment and share your experience.

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·4 Comments
The Standing O-vation: Orgasm While Standing Up 2

This sex activity makes the wife the center of attention, while also requiring her energy and focus to make the most of the experience. Even though the husband will be doing most of the active work, the wife will be in a position that is likely unfamiliar to her, which might make it harder for her to reach orgasm. We recommend trying this position when you have plenty of time and energy to devote to it.

(For the purposes of description we’re going to have the wife in the receiving, submissive role and the husband in the giving, dominant role — but feel free to swap roles and have the wife give pleasure to her husband instead!)

We recommend a few bondage implements to make this work, but you can improvise or omit elements that aren’t appealing to you.

  • Handcuffs. We like the fuzzy, comfy kind that are easy to slip off if required.
  • Load-bearing attachment point. You need a sturdy attachment point that’s higher than the wife’s head. A doorway chin-up bar can work, or you can screw a garage hook into a joist in your ceiling. Make sure that whatever you use is the right height and strong enough for the wife to pull on.
  • Vibrator. We recommend a wand vibrator for this activity, but use whatever will be most effective for the wife. This position is already challenging enough, so use her favorite vibrator!
  • Lube. This activity can take a while, so make sure the wife is sufficiently lubricated. Keep it handy so you can re-apply it as necessary.
  • Blindfold. Helps to focus the wife’s mind.
  • Spreader bar. Keeps the wife’s legs apart during intense stimulation.
The Standing O-vation: Orgasm While Standing Up 3

Husband: prepare everything beforehand so your wife isn’t waiting around!

When you’re both naked and ready, here’s what to do.

  1. Turn up the heat so the wife doesn’t get cold.
  2. Put on some sexy music. This activity will benefit from a lack of talking, and music will help the wife attain the required frame of mind.
  3. Cuff the wife’s hands over her head.
  4. Connect the cuffs to your attachment point — don’t make this too high! Her shoulders will be lower than normal once her legs are spread, so ideally her cuffed hands will be right above her head.
  5. Put her ankles in the spreader bar. This will open her up, and also begin to put some strain on her legs. Despite the picture at the top of this post, the wife shouldn’t be on her tip-toes unless she’s really up for a challenge.
  6. Give her a kiss and put the blindfold over her eyes.

Wife: Allow yourself to relax; allow your mind to let go and focus on the sensations in your body; fall into a meditative, dissociative state; take deep breaths; try not to talk; convey your pleasure without words. Your only responsibilities are to enjoy the focused attention from your husband and to open yourself up to an orgasm.

Husband: Now that the wife is suspended and bound, it’s time to begin focusing on her pleasure. Husband, let your imagination run wild as you touch and kiss your wife. Your goal isn’t to bring her to climax as fast as possible, but rather to explore every inch of her body and lead her to an intensely pleasurable orgasm over a prolonged period of time. Here are some ideas for what you can do with her, spending one to two minutes on an activity before switching to another.

  • Intermittent vibration. Use the vibrator on your wife intermittently for one to two minutes at a time, and then remove it. Alternate between the vibrator and the other activities in this list. Gradually increase time with the vibrator and bring your wife to the edge of orgasm without letting her go over until you’re ready.
  • Kiss her all over. And don’t forget to kiss her lips!
  • Perform oral sex on her. With her legs spread it should be easy to reach her lady bits. You’ll probably want to focus on this before applying lube — unless you have some flavored lube!
  • Finger massage. Press the tips of your fingers into her skin and drag them across the surfaces of her body. Spend a while with medium finger pressure, then come back to this activity later with feather-light pressure.
  • Tickle her. Sexy Corte really dislikes tickling, but maybe your wife will enjoy it!
  • Rub her clitoris. Use the Zoom Technique or another pattern. You can come back to this activity as many times as you want.
  • Rub her g-spot. Curl your fingers and reach inside her to stimulate her g-spot. Doing this while using the vibrator is sure to drive her crazy.
  • Enter her vagina with your fingers or penis. Tease the opening of her vulva and work towards deeper penetrations on subsequent visits to this activity.
  • Lick or tease her nipples.
  • Spank her. You should probably ask if she’s up for this before you surprise her with a spanking while she’s blindfolded!
  • Rub her thighs. Her thighs will be stressed because of her suspended position, so there will be extra blood-flow to the region; it will feel relieving and comforting if you massage her inner and outer thighs.
  • Play with her anus. Use a lubricated finger to stimulate her anus. (Be sure to wash your finger off before touching another part of her body with it.)
  • Hug her. Envelop her body in your arms. Nuzzle her neck with your face. Squeeze her tight.
  • Talk dirty to her. Whisper sexy fantasies into her ear. Tell her what you’re going to do to her next. Tell her what you want her to do to you. You can do this while you’re applying the vibrator as well.
  • Put your fingers in her mouth. Have her pretend she’s performing oral sex on your fingers.
  • Make her beg for an orgasm. Before you let her climax, make her beg for it. Don’t make her guess what to say — tell her what to say.

When you’re ready for your wife to orgasm you’ll both have to ascertain if she will be able to climax while standing in this position. The husband shouldn’t push her into it, but the wife should give it her best effort. If it’s just not going to happen, release the wife from the spreader bar; leave the cuffs and blindfold on, while removing the cuffs from the attachment point. Husband, guide your wife down onto the bed and into whatever position is best for her to orgasm. Do whatever you have to do to fulfill the the promise you made her body!

After you’re both done, remove all the bondage stuff and cuddle for a while. When the time is right, you can talk about what you each liked or didn’t like about the activity, and what you would change if you ever do it again.

As a final note: you can also use this activity as an element of a sexual role-playing scenario like Professor and Student or Bratty Wife. It also works well in a scenario where one of you has been “captured” as a pirate, spy, prisoner, etc.

Do you have any suggestions for other activities to do in this standing o-vation position? Leave a comment!

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·31 Comments
Bondage for Beginners: What, Why, and How 4

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #006: Bondage for Beginners

It seems like there’s a lot of interest in bondage these days, and many couples are experimenting with stuff they never would have thought of before. If you’ve never tried bondage you may be wondering what the big deal is — why would anyone want to be restrained during sex? Well, we know nothing about the BDSM “scene” so we can’t speak very broadly, but we can tell you in one word why Sexy Corte and I periodically enjoy adding some light bondage to our sexy time: vulnerability.

To understand bondage let’s talk first about the goal, then the methods, then why it’s fun. The goal is simple: voluntarily restrain one spouse to enhance his or her vulnerability and submission. It seems most common for the wife to be restrained, but I’ve had Sexy Corte tie me down and tease me and it was lots of fun. Usually though, it’s me restraining her. The purpose of the restraint is to give control of your body to your spouse, not to be painful or uncomfortable. Submitting to bondage is a huge demonstration of trust to your spouse because it puts your naked body into their control and makes you supremely vulnerable. The bondage benefits both the dominant and the submissive spouse by giving the dominant person permission to act, and the submissive person permission to let go. The various toys described below are only used to accent the submission that has already been agreed to.

There are limitless methods of bondage, but they generally share a few common features.

  1. Nakedness. The submissive spouse will usually be restrained naked, or at least with her sexy bits exposed. Being naked with your spouse is already a big show of trust, and being restrained kicks it up a notch.
  2. Hand restraint. Often the submissive’s hands are restrained to prevent her from “protecting” herself. (I use quotes, because of course nothing should be happening against the submissive’s desires.) Hands can be restrained above the head (for example, tied to the headboard), behind the back, in front (for front-to-back positions), or even attached to the ankles. Hand restraint is probably the most common element of light bondage. Get those hands out of the way!
  3. Leg restraint. Legs, ankles, and knees can be restrained to keep the wife’s legs spread or to prevent movement in general. Leg restraint is an important element of position restraint and orgasm control.
  4. Head restraint. Head or neck restraint could be uncomfortable or even dangerous. This isn’t something we do.
  5. Eye restraint. Covering the submissive’s eyes can add another layer of trust and enhance vulnerability. Using a blindfold can really make extended foreplay exciting.
  6. Mouth restraint. Sometimes you just want to hear your spouse moan with pleasure instead of talk. Sometimes talking is distracting. Taking away the option to talk can be liberating for the person who is restrained. Always be sure that anyone whose mouth is covered can breathe freely and can signal a desire to stop.
  7. Position restraint. A combination of restraints can be used to hold the submissive spouse in a certain position, say for spanking. This can be critical for orgasm delay and multiple orgasms, which we’ll talk about below.

So what are the actual devices that can be used for bondage play? Almost anything you can imagine can be incorporated, but here are a few ideas. Each of these items probably deserves its own post!

liberator

Wedge pillows. Sexy Corte and I enjoy these a lot for positioning, and they include attachments for…

Hand cuffs. We use some padded strips with velcro for closures and plastic clips that can be attached together or to the wedges. We’ve tried metal cuffs in the past, but they’re quite uncomfortable if you’re laying on them.

under-mattress

Under-the-mattress restraints. Looks complicated, but it’s not. The cuffs can be tucked under the mattress when not in use. These are especially useful if you don’t have a headboard suitable for tying to.

blindfold

Blindfold. If you want to improvise, use a neck tie or panties.

Gags can be similarly improvised, or you can buy one.

swing

Sex swing. We have one that can be quickly hung in a door frame and be used for a ton of positions. It’s easier than it looks.

spreader_bar

Spreader bar. Keeps those legs apart. Can be used in many positions, including standing, but isn’t great for missionary. I made ours with a wooden dowel and some eye screws.

pull-up-bar

Pull-up bar. These can be mounted in a door way and used as a restraint point for securing someone in a standing position. Also great for getting ripped.

an-unassuming-silver-bullet-vibrator-apparently-inspired-some-bawdy-attention-from-a-tsa-agent-who

Vibrator. There are many kinds, but we find the egg vibrator to be the most versatile. We buy cheap ones (around $7 from Amazon) and replace them once or twice a year when they wear out. We also keep rechargeable batteries charging in our bedroom. A wand vibrator can also be useful for longer duration games or when you need more reach.

Rope. Check out our intro to shibari for some awesome ideas!

karada

(Let me point out that you don’t actually need any toys! This post is getting long enough, so I won’t go into detail, but look forward to a future post on mental-only bondage.)

Finally, what’s fun about bondage anyway?

  1. Intimacy. Like I said at the beginning: the essence of bondage is vulnerability, and vulnerability is the key to intimacy. Bondage will teach you new things about your spouse’s mind and body. Bondage will let you explore new levels of sexual trust. Bondage exposes you to each other in amazing ways.
  2. Passion. Let’s face it: there can be something hot about dominating your spouse or submitting to his or her will. Maybe your sex is normally gentle and loving, and bondage lets you get a little rougher and more physically intense.
  3. Foreplay. Bondage requires time to execute, and all that time can be used as foreplay focused on the spouse being bound.
  4. Orgasm delay. Also known as teasing or edging. When the submissive spouse is free to move she can position her body just the right way to reach orgasm, and bondage can take away that ability and give control to the dominant spouse. It can be extremely difficult for a person to willingly back off from an orgasm when it’s close, but when using bondage the dominant spouse can pull back and keep the submissive spouse right on the edge without going over. This can make the orgasm incredibly powerful when it eventually comes.
  5. Multiple orgasms. After a woman orgasms her clitoris may become intensely sensitive, such that further stimulation is uncomfortable. If her hands and legs are free she may push the stimulation away for relief. However, if she is bound such that she can’t “protect” her clitoris her husband can continue with the stimulation and bring her to multiple orgasms. Sexy Corte describes these as an unending plateau of orgasm, rather than the peak and descent of the normal experience. They’re also quite exhausting, so this probably isn’t something you’ll do every day. As a husband, giving my wife multiple orgasms is one of my absolute favorite things.
  6. Fantasy. Bondage can be used as an element of fantasy or role-playing. It feels naughty, and once you’re in the naughty mindset you can free yourself to try some things that you normally wouldn’t. He’s the villain and she’s the kidnapped princess? She’s the super-spy and he’s the captured rogue agent who knows where the bomb is hidden?
  7. Exploration. Sometimes it’s hard to ask for our sexual desires, even when the marriage has good communication. Bondage can be an avenue for exploring desires that are difficult to speak out loud but perhaps easier to request non-verbally while in the moment. New experiences can break old habits, and you’re already feeling naughty, right?
  8. Escapism. Maybe it’s a minor form of dissociation, but bondage be a form of escapism from everyday life into a secret world of sex with your spouse.
  9. Novelty. Bondage introduces a myriad of new sexual options, new ways to play, new positions, new toys, and maybe even new desires.

In the end bondage should be fun and promote intimacy and vulnerability in your marriage. As always, enthusiasm and responsiveness will ensure that you get the most from your sexual experience.

Let us know what you think in the comments! What are you experiences? Do you have any suggestions to add?

If you liked this, please share it!

by ·7 Comments
Wedge Pillows 5

When we got married I surprised Sexy Corte with a set of Liberator wedge pillows (which were, at the time, on sale at Amazon). I think she was skeptical at first, but in the years since we’ve gotten a lot of use out of them. If I could introduce any couple to one new toy, it would be these pillows. (Assuming they already have an egg vibrator. Hopefully SC will post about those soon.)

The primary use of the wedges is for positioning. They’re firm and have a velvety texture so they grip against your bed and each other, which means you can set them up in limitless configurations to position your bodies at all sorts of different heights and angles. (The pillows came with a booklet of suggested positions; you can find it on the site above, but it has nudity so I’m not linking it.) They’re great for laying on, bending over, leaning on, or sitting against. We’ve even turned the big one on it’s side and used it to support SC’s legs so they don’t flail in the air when she’s laying on the edge of the bed.

You’ll notice that we bought the “black label” edition of the wedges which come with handy attach points for clip-on cuffs. We don’t use the cuffs as often as the pillows themselves, but occasionally I have a blast cuffing SC down and teasing her for a while. Not to brag, but our record is seven orgasms for her in 45 minutes. So, husbands, if you want to give your wife a ton of orgasms till she almost passes out and begs you to stop you might want to check these out. (I should get a commission.)

If you liked this, please share it!