Sex Q&A: "What is your view on anal sex?" 1

Reader “YK” asks:

Sexy Corte, I have followed you and El Fury for a few months now. I am a husband but wanted your view as a woman on a few things. What is your view on anal sex?

I know my wife enjoys it as I do. Not saying that because I am a guy and enjoy it but because she has asked for anal sex at times when we share a shower. (There have been times I’ve refused, if you can believe that.) What I do not understand is that she goes crazy enjoying herself, but afterwards goes into a mode of “what have I done” attitude. Almost like she feels bad for enjoying the moment as much as she did.

Needless to say this really takes away from that BLESSED coming together feeling I get afterwards because I feel as if I did something wrong.

She also enjoys anal using my thumb the same time we are in doggy style. I MEAN SHE LETS GO SO MUCH THAT I FEEL I’M BEING HIT BY A JACKHAMMER!!!! So I guess my question, and I need some serious input, why does she enjoy anal sex but it has to be on her terms?

Also, she enjoys cumming in my mouth from oral but as I am about to cum she immediately wants me inside her to pound her as hard as I can until I cum, which in turn causes her to lose her mind!

One final point (sorry for taking so long), now is it normal for a wife to well…want to make sure her husband is at maximum length every time? Before me she said she never had an orgasm. Now she says she has three or more each time we are together.

I know this all may seem funny. Most men would love my “problems” but sometimes I feel like a stereotype! I am a black male of 9 1/2 inches so my wife says (she actually measured) 🤯. She is a white female and treats my penis like The One Ring from Lord of the Rings (myyyy precious)! We have been married for 25 years but it always seems like “her maximum ecstasy ” comes with how she feels is the best use of my penis!

There is definitely more but I think this will either be enough to make you slap your head, cause you mouth to fly open, ask El Fury to hurry and read this to stimulate a quickie, or just say this guy doesn’t know how good he has it! I look forward to your response. BLESSINGS!!!

Thanks for your email YK!

El Fury and I have been exploring the anal world in the last year, and it has been an interesting journey. In the past I have had no interest in anal sex, and I’m sure that’s in part because it is such a taboo topic. It is something that El Fury has wanted to do forever, and so I finally was able to open up and be willing to try some anal play. It has been a slow progression! I’ve been surprised at how much I’ve enjoyed it when he teases that area with his fingers. Actual penetration is very uncomfortable for me, so we time that for when I’m highly aroused. With that said, I wouldn’t say I am that “experienced” with anal sex.

I can understand your wife’s feeling of shame afterwards. I think the view of a lot of people is that anal sex is wrong, degrading, etc. I have been in conversations with other women where the attitude is “well, of course I wouldn’t do that!” So, having all of that pressure put on certain sex acts can make someone feel ashamed after giving into their desires. The Bible seems to be sexually open about all sorts of sex acts as long as it’s within the boundaries of marriage. The Song of Solomon has references to oral sex, and we believe that God wants you and your spouse to have an X-rated sex life. It seems that as long as sex is between the two of you, within the confines of your marriage, consensual, and leads to mutual satisfaction then it’s ok! If your wife can come to change her perception of anal sex then I don’t think she would feel bad afterwards.

As far as sex being on your wife’s terms, I think that because anal sex has commonly been viewed as a degrading act she might feel degraded if she consents when you want it. I’m not saying that she feels like you are trying to degrade her, it’s simply the stigma around the act. Whereas if she is initiating it then she’s in control.

For your second question about swallowing, communication is important. I used to get irritated when El Fury didn’t just know what I wanted! I had to learn to tell him. If you want your wife to swallow, you should communicate that to her. It doesn’t have to be every time, but tell her once in a while it would mean a lot to you if she swallowed.

For your third question, about length, I know for me there is something very arousing at the thought of taking all of El Fury inside me. It’s intoxicating to feel like I have as much of him inside me as possible. Your wife probably feels the same way, and would still want all of you even if your penis was an inch shorter!

It sounds like you and your wife have a great, active sex life! I definitely think you could communicate all of these questions to her. The more we talk about sex, the more natural it is to talk about. I hope this helps!

Reader YK wrote back:

I really appreciate your feedback and you really gave me some seriously valuable insight into her possible mindset concerning anal sex. I just never thought about the stigma and taboo the church has about anal sex could be the cause of her discomfort. This also explains why after accepting Jesus we both thought HOT sex was over!

SC, you and El Fury keep up the great work. There are too many married couples in the Body suffering due to these types of stigmas. BLESSINGS to you both!

How have taboos and stigmas affected your sex life with your spouse? And, of course, do you have any anal sex tips to share? Leave a comment below!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

How to Make Most of the Size You've Got 2

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #008: How to Make the Most of the Size You’ve Got

I think that unmarried men worry more about penis size than husbands do, but penis anxiety is pretty common among men — just like other forms of body shame are common among both men and women. It may be reassuring for a husband to learn that we worry more about our penis size than our wives probably do.

Men worry far more than women about penis size, according to Veale and his colleagues. One study, published in April in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, found that women preferred larger penises only up to a point (anything bigger than a flaccid length of 2.99 inches (7.59 centimeters) did not additionally impress women), and preferences also varied based on a guy’s height. A 2012 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found similarly ambivalent female preferences. In that study, women who experienced frequent vaginal orgasms were much more likely than other women to express an interest in better-endowed guys. For women who didn’t prefer vaginal orgasms, penis size was a far less pressing matter.

In case you’re wondering, the average American man’s penis is 5.6 inches long when erect with a girth of 4.8 inches. (You can measure girth (circumference) by wrapping a string around the widest part of the shaft and then measuring the length of the string.)

The real question though is: how can you make the most of what you’ve got? Here are a few suggestions.

  • Lose weight. If a man is carrying too much weight, the extra fat can submerge some of his length and hide it inside his body. Lift some weights!
  • Penis ring. They’re cheap and help maximize your erection (and can even help you last longer). A ring with a vibrator might also be fun for your wife!
  • Deeper sex positions. Missionary position isn’t the best for deep penetration. This topic deserves its own post, but the short version is this: while in missionary, push her knees way up towards her head; or try doggy style and have her arch her back. (“Arch” means to push her tummy down towards the bed, not to push her spine up towards the sky.) These positions will let your penis reach farther into her body and give her a greater sensation of fullness.
  • Legs together. Whatever position you use, your penis will feel thicker if your wife keeps her legs together rather than spread open.
  • Vaginal exercises. This deserves a post of its own as well, but your penis will feel bigger (to you both) if your wife tightens the muscles of her vagina by performing Kegel exercises. She can also squeeze her vagina and butt during sex to increase the feeling of girth. Your mileage may vary, but I find that Sexy Corte tightens when I give her a little spank on the butt.
  • Thank God for her clitoris. Don’t forget… most women orgasm primarily from clitoral stimulation!

Wives, please realize that your husband takes his penis very seriously. Making fun of his penis is probably worse than if he called you “fat” — you can always lose weight, but his penis isn’t going to change. Instead, show admiration for his penis!

Do you have any tips for making the most of what you’ve got? Leave a comment! (Plus, I’ll post a funny gif in the comments: “bigger than you think”.)

Variations and Tips for Doggy Style 3

Doggy style — or “rear entry”, or sometimes “doggie style” — is one of the most popular and common sexual positions. According to Jay Dee’s (unscientific) reader survey of sexual positions doggy style is basically tied as one of the top three positions along with missionary (basic man-on-top) and cowgirl (basic woman-on-top). In fact, wives as a group appear to prefer doggy style to cowgirl!

Doggy style has a few distinctive benefits that make it a fun part of your repertoire:

  • DepthDoggy style is the best position for maximum penetration. Depth feels awesome for the husband, but make sure to take things slowly so the wife is comfortable. The penis will tend to rub most strongly against the posterior wall of the vagina, which creates a different sensation for the wife than in a face-to-face position.
  • Dominance. Doggy style is a dominant position for the husband, and it makes him feel like a king; a wife who enjoys a submissive posture will like the position for the same reason.
  • Tightness. Depending on the variation used (see more below), doggy style can provide a very tight experience for husband and wife. Another reason to take it slow.
  • Visual. For a husband who likes his wife’s butt the view is amazing, second perhaps only to reverse cowgirl.
  • Comfort. Studies show that doggy style can be one of the safest and most comfortable sexual positions for men with back pain.
  • Bonus activities. Doggy style also enables a few bonus activities such as spankinghip grabbing, and back and butt massage. The wife or husband can also reach underneath to play with the wife’s clit or the husband’s balls.

So what kind of variations are there?

  • Standard doggy style. The wife gets down on her hands and knees and the husband enters her from behind, either standing or kneeling. All the variations build on this basic configuration.
  • Leapfrog. Instead of being on her hands, the wife rests on her forearms, or elbows, or lowers her head to the floor. This variation changes the angle of penetration and increases tightness.
  • Arms restrained. Similar to leapfrog, but the wife’s arms are pulled up behind her back, creating an even more submissive posture. The husband can hold her hands (increasing intimacy) or her hands can be bound.
  • Jockey. The wife lays down on her stomach, possibly with a pillow under her hips for positioning; the husband lays on top of her and enters from behind. Jockey could be considered its own position rather than a variation on doggy style, but it’s part of the same family. Penetration won’t be nearly as deep as with standard doggy style, but there’s a ton of skin-to-skin contact which feels awesome, and lots of tightness if the wife keeps her legs together.
  • Over the Desk. This variation has the wife standing up and bent over a desk (or couch, or rock, or tree, or whatever). Perfect for times when you can’t get naked (like in public places).
  • The Magic Corner. The wife straddles and bends over the corner of the bed, supporting her weight. She can stimulating her clitoris with the surface of the bed, her hands, or a vibrator.

Here are some tips for making the most of doggy style.

  • Take it slow. As I mentioned above, take it slow! Doggy style is best and most comfortable when the wife is very aroused. When Sexy Corte and I use doggy style it generally isn’t our first position (unless its the jockey variant). Doggy style makes a great finisher (for him), so warm up, get the wife’s orgasm, and then move to doggy style.
  • Wife’s legs. When the wife keeps her legs together it increases tightness, which is pleasurable for both partners. However, the wife can have more movement and control of height and angle if she spreads her legs and the husband positions himself between them. In the standing variation, the wife can even cross her legs at the knees or ankles.
  • Arch your back. When the wife arches her back (pushing her tummy down) she improves the angle for her husband as well as gives him a great view.
  • Pillow support. Many of the variations can incorporate positioning pillows for support and leverage. Using a pillow will help you prevent unwanted motion and make the position more stable for both spouses.
  • Vibrator. Doggy style isn’t the best orgasm position for wives, but you can use a vibrator to assist.

So there you have it! Do you have any doggy style tips to share? Any variations that we missed? Please leave a comment!

How to Spank Your Wife 4

Should you spank your wife?  Of course!  I highly recommend it.  Sex starts long before penetration, and spanking is a fun way to build sexual tension. Spanking is a power move, a move of possession, and a not-so-subtle way for you as the husband to prime the sexual pump and set expectations.  A smack on the ass says you are my woman, prepare to be boarded.

So how to do it right?

  • I love to pat Sexy Corte’s butt whenever it is in reach.  She has a fantastic rear, and I feel like it deserves to be touched and admired. These love-taps are pretty expected by now, to the point where I sometimes catch myself doing them in public.  Haven’t had a complaint yet!
  • When there’s time for a kiss, you can escalate with a spank.  This always gets a friendly wiggle and purr.  Feel free to grab a cheek while you’re down there if the kiss lingers.
  • If you really want to get your wife’s attention, spank her a bit harder so she jumps and lets out an “oh!”  If she turns back to you with a how dare you look (real or pretend) just smile and say something naughty.  “I have got to have that ass later tonight.”
  • And don’t forget to celebrate Spanksgiving!

Spanking as foreplay works great, especially when it’s an unexpected surprise.  Spanking is also a great accent move for when you’re having sex, but it doesn’t work in Missionary Position.  Here are some ideas:

  • Wife on top.  No matter which way she’s facing you should be able to work in a few spanks just as she’s reaching orgasm.
  • Doggy-style gives you clear access to your target, and this is already a powerful position for the husband. Avoid the temptation to go overboard.
  • Wife standing, bent over.  This position is great for quickies, and a spank is great for getting a reaction if your wife is trying to be quiet because you’re being naughty in a semi-public place.

Arousal and orgasm generally increase a woman’s pain threshold, and she might enjoy a little more force when you’re in the throes of passion.  As always, communicate.

Do you and your spouse spank?  Got any tips to share?

Update, this evening:

After getting the kids out of the tub, Sexy Corte caught me in our room getting ready to shower.  She said “how about a quickie?” so I laid on the floor and she started riding me.  She must have liked this post because she said, “Don’t forget to spank me!”  Solid.