Autonomous Car Sex 1

We’ve posted about our sex robot before, and I’m happy to report that we use it almost every day! As robots proliferate in coming decades, I’m looking forward to at least one more kind of sex robot: autonomous cars! Just think of how much car sex you’ll be having when your car can drive itself.

Self-driving cars will change the way we travel and work. But according to researchers studying the potential implications of autonomous vehicles (AVs), they could also have a profound impact on another aspect of life: How we have sex.

“One of the starting points was that AVs will provide new forms of competition for hotels and restaurants. People will be sleeping in their vehicles, which has implications for roadside hotels. And people may be eating in vehicles that function as restaurant pods,” says Scott Cohen, deputy director of research of the School of Hospitality and Tourism Management at the University of Surrey in the U.K., who led the study. “That led us to think, besides sleeping, what other things will people do in cars when free from the task of driving? And you can see that in the long association of automobiles and sex that’s represented in just about every coming-of-age movie. It’s not a big leap.”

Car sex is great, and having a robotic driver will really open up your options.

  • Have sex on the way to the restaurant! Having sex before your date instead of after ensures you won’t run out of energy before the climax of your night.
  • Have sex anywhere! A parked car can be fine for sex, but sometimes it attracts attention. A moving vehicle is more private.
  • Have sex while “running an errand”! If you’re spending holiday time away from home, you and your spouse can “run to the store” real quick — but really have the car drive you around randomly while you have sex.
  • Have sex with scenic views! Like having sex on a train, you can watch the beautiful scenery rolling by while you make love.

Do you enjoy car sex? Any other ideas for what you’d do if neither you nor your spouse had to drive?

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We Bought a Sex Robot 2

“Sex robots” are everywhere in the media these days, from television, to movies, to the news.

In HBO’s series “Westworld,” humans pay for sex with robots in an anything-goes Wild West-inspired theme park. In the movie “Her,” a man falls in love with his Siri-like operating system. And in AMC’s show “Humans,” a husband has an affair with his pretty robotic assistant.

It’s the stuff of science fiction. But could a world in which robots are at our sexual beck and call be nearer than we think? What would that mean for humanity and for our sex lives?

Most experts agree that we’re at least decades away from a true “Westworld” scenario. We just don’t have the technology to create robots that can function as realistic sex partners, but we may be getting closer.

You might think that’s icky, but I’ll bet many of you already have a sex robot in your bedroom…

We Bought a Sex Robot 3

Vibrators, dildos, and other toys can be great fun and enhance sex with your spouse, as long as you’re careful to make sure they don’t replace your spouse!

Well guess what? We just got a sex robot of our very own! It’s awesome in the bedroom, of course, but we’ve already used it in every room of the house. Say hello to our cute little Xiaomi Mi Robot Vacuum. It’s basically like a Roomba, but better.

We Bought a Sex Robot 4

How does a robot vacuum relate to sex, you ask? Does it have some… uh… special attachments? No, even better: it saves Sexy Corte two hours every week and a ton of stress. Vacuuming while surrounded by toddlers is a lot of work, and now the robot does almost all of it. She can spend those hours doing all sorts of other productive things, including sexy stuff with me!

So, husbands, would you like your wife to have less stress and more time and energy for sex? Consider buying her the ultimate sex robot, a robot vacuum: the robot that helps you have more sex with each other. And wives, every time that robot zooms past, make sure to give your husband a little vicarious “choreplay” credit for the work its doing.

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"Sex robots could be biggest trend of 2016" 5

Sex robots are almost here! Uh… really?

Back in 2007, artificial intelligence researcher David Levy from the University of Maastricht told LiveScience that people could be marrying robots – and consummating their vows – by 2050.

Although it might not appeal at first, he said, “once you have a story like ‘I had sex with a robot, and it was great!’ appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I’d expect many people to jump on the bandwagon.”

In his PhD thesis, Intimate Relationships with Artificial Partners, Levy stated that the more human-like robots become in terms of personality, function and appearance, the more likely they are to form romantic partners for real people.

“It may sound a little weird, but it isn’t.

Actually, it is weird. (And the image above is pretty creepy.)

However, to be honest, I don’t see much to worry about. Lots of people already use primitive “robots” to augment their sex lives.

an-unassuming-silver-bullet-vibrator-apparently-inspired-some-bawdy-attention-from-a-tsa-agent-who

Making a robot more like a human doesn’t actually make it human. Robots are just things, and like any other things they can be used for good or ill.

Will lifelike sex robots fundamentally change the sexual dynamic of humanity? Maybe! But lots of other things have done that in the past, and we’ve survived.

  • Monogamy, marriage, divorce
  • Prostitution
  • Birth control in various forms
  • Paternity testing (blood typing, DNA, etc.)
  • Pornography (from cave paintings to the internet)

I don’t see anything qualitatively different between a human-like sex robot and a vibrator — if they ever exist, use with discretion.

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