Sexual Metaphors in the Bible and Poetry 1

Our ancestors thought about sex as much as we do (or we wouldn’t be here), and their sexual euphemisms are pretty fantastic. Here are some fun sexual metaphors, presented without much commentary.

From the Bible:

  • Adam knew Eve … and she conceived (Genesis 4:1)
  • “uncover her nakedness” (Leviticus 18:7) and open his robe to spread it over her
  • keliy, “instrument, tool, vessel”, And David answered the priest, “Truly women have been kept from us as always when I go on an expedition. The vessels of the young men are holy even when it is an ordinary journey. How much more today will their vessels be holy?” (2 Samuel 21:5-6)
  • qoten, “small one” 1 Kings 12:10 (2 Chr 10:10): “My qotonniy is thicker than the loin of my father.”
  • yarek, “thigh” Judges 8:30: “And Gideon had seventy sons who came out of his yarek.”
  • The beams of our house are cedars, our rafters are firs (Song of Solomon 1:17)
  • His fruit is sweet to my taste (Song of Solomon 2:3)
  • He has taken me to the banquet hall (Song of Solomon 2:4)
  • I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense (Song of Solomon 4:6)
  • …my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the lock (Song of Solomon 5:5)
  • Let my lover into his garden and taste its choice fruits (Song of Solomon 4:16)
  • I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride (Song of Solomon 5:1)
  • I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit (Song of Solomon 7:8)
  • The word that is translated “hinge” (1 Kings 7:50), is the same word that is translated a woman’s secret parts” (Isaiah 3:17)
  • “the place of the breaking forth of children” (Hosea 13:13)
  • “If my heart have been deceived by a woman.. then let my wife grind unto another, and let others bow down upon her” (Job 31:9,10)

From assorted poetry:

  • Afternoon delight
  • Assault with a friendly weapon
  • Attacking the pink fortress
  • Basket-making
  • Bedroom spelunking
  • Burying the white soft petals fallen from the apple tree
  • Burying treasure
  • Buttering the biscuit
  • Churning butter
  • Cleaning the cobwebs with the womb broom
  • Counting down to thunder
  • Dipping the wick
  • Doing the Devil’s dance
  • Drinking from the chalice
  • Easing the spring
  • Eating the sunbeam
  • Emptying your basket of figs
  • Extreme flirting
  • Feeding the kitty
  • Filling her out like an application
  • Fingering the smooth and polished kernel
  • Gathering rosebuds
  • Hot beef injection
  • Humming around her chamber
  • Kindly serving
  • Laying pipe
  • Lifting the veil
  • Looting flowers
  • Making the beast with two backs
  • My body writes into your flesh
  • Nut in the gut
  • Pants-off dance-off
  • Playing doctor
  • Playing dungeons and dragons
  • Playing with the box the kid came in
  • Puddle-snuggling
  • Praying with the knees upwards
  • Putting in the seed
  • Putting the bread in the oven
  • Putting the wand in the chamber of secrets
  • Riding the Bony Express
  • Rolling in the hay
  • Shampooing the wookie
  • Sheathing the meat dagger
  • Sinking the pink
  • Skinning the cat
  • Slap and tickle
  • Spilling your wine
  • Sporting
  • Spray-painting the cervix
  • Squat-jumping in the cucumber patch
  • Struggle snuggling
  • Stuffing the taco
  • Testing the humidity
  • Tickling her tummy from the inside
  • Two-person push-ups
  • Walking the plank
  • Warming her pearls
  • Wetting the willy

(Some sources: Ex Minister, Redeeming God, Thought Catalog, Book Riot.)

Some Less Explicit Links You Can Share With Your Friends 2

Did you know that the world’s top ten websites attract more than 60% of all internet traffic, and that the share of readers captured by the top 1,000 sites is growing every month while other websites shrink?

I mention these oh-so-exciting statistics because it really means a lot to us when our readers share our site with their friends. We don’t run ads to attract new readers, and we don’t have ads here on our site. We link to lots of other blogs but we get very few links in return (please tell us if you link to us!). We don’t sell anything or partner with affiliates; we don’t want your money. We don’t want fame or recognition, which is why we’re pseudonymous.

Our only purpose with this blog is to glorify God by edifying marriage and encouraging married couples to have awesome sex. Sexy Corte and I view this website as one of our primary ministries. By God’s grace we’ve reached way over 4 million people — thousands per day — and we’ve personally helped many hundreds of readers.

The only way we can reach new people is for you to share our site. Search engines send people looking for advice on sex and marriage to the same ten or hundred places every time, and they aren’t Christian resources.

We understand that sharing a sex site with your friends might be awkward! Here are a few links you can share that aren’t as explicit as most of our site.

Thanks for reading this far! We hope our blog and podcast are a blessing to your marriage.

"Do You Want to Watch Me Shower?" 3

Sexy Corte: “I’m going upstairs to take a shower.”

Me: “Ok.”

SC: “Are you going to come?”

Me: “I already showered.”

SC: “Maybe you could just watch me shower.”

So I quickly carried the chair from our bedroom to the shower and took off my clothes to enjoy the show.

This was something new for us. We’ve been talking about masturbation recently, mostly about me wanting to watch her touch herself and masturbate. Here, Sexy Corte invited me to touch myself while I watched her shower, and she put on a great show for my entertainment! She enjoyed watching me watch her and touch myself, and she definitely got into the role. She didn’t go for an orgasm (she’d had one that morning) but I did.

So what worked?

  • She invited me. How could I say no?
  • She showed off her body to me without embarrassment. Sexy Corte pressed herself up against the glass and positioned herself to give me a great view while she washed.
  • She touched herself. It was very sexy to watch Sexy Corte rub her hands all over her body.
  • She pleasured herself with the shower head. This was the hottest part to me: her involuntary eye-rolls, shudders, and moans when she applied the shower head to her lady bits.

Overall this was quite a fun experience and I look forward to trying it again. I also look forward to playing more with the shower head.

Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 4

Spring is here, and love is in the air!

Masturbating For Your Husband: How To Start and Touching Yourself — We’ve written about Mutual Masturbation and Finishing on Her Body and you can also incorporate masturbation into Role-Playing: Photographer and Model

Ideas to sexually tease your husband — see also How to Turn Your Husband On in Public

How to Make Your Wife Squirt, and from Women’s Health, How To Make Yourself Squirt During Sex

Sexual Assertiveness Training for husbands — see also How to Get Your Wife to Lust for You. If you want to use role-playing to practice husbandly assertive, check out Role-Playing: Bratty Wife.

Shave My What? — see also Sex Q&A: How Do I Get My Wife to Shave “Down There”?, Should I Shave My Balls? Yes!, and Licking Balls

Tips for Hotter Sex and How to Get Into Difficult Sex Positions

10 Things To Know about Medieval Sex and 10 Weird Things Victorians Believed about Sex — see also Can we *BLANK*? Not in the Middle Ages!, Historical Sexual Slang and Oral Sex in History, Including Paradise Lost

Finally, here are tons of sex games from The Undefiled Marriage Bed. They apparently like water guns a lot.

Improve Sex By Focusing on the Peak and the End 5

This post will share ideas about how to use the happy-ending effect and the peak-end rule to improve your sexual encounters. Sex doesn’t always go perfectly, and that’s ok! Sometimes we build up grand visions in our minds about how amazing an experience is going to be, and then the kids won’t go to sleep, the smoke detector won’t stop beeping for a new battery, or you get a cramp in your leg at just the wrong time. By understanding these two psychological concepts you can help yourself and your spouse have great experiences even when things don’t go perfectly.

First, let’s look at what these two effects are. The happy-ending effect probably isn’t too mysterious! The article below presents the effect in a negative light, but you can apply it in your marriage to improve your experiences.

“When you’re deciding where to go for dinner, for example, you think about where you’ve had a good meal in the past,” lead study author Martin Vestergaard said in a news release.

“But your memory of whether that meal was good isn’t always reliable — our brain values the final few moments of the experience more highly than the rest of it. If we can’t control our in-built attraction to happy endings, then we can’t trust our choices to serve our best interests,” said Vestergaard, a neuroscientist at the University of Cambridge in Britain.

For the study, researchers had participants select between two streams of coins falling into a bucket in quick succession. Larger coins were higher in value.

One stream was greater in value but ended with a succession of smaller coins, while the other less-valuable stream ended with a run of bigger coins. Participants consistently — and incorrectly — selected the stream that ended with larger coins.

From the study we learn that people tend to over-value the end of an experience in comparison to the rest — “all’s well that ends well”.

The peak-end rule is similar to the happy-ending effect, but includes the idea that the peak of the experience matters as much as the end.

The peak–end rule is a psychological heuristic in which people judge an experience largely based on how they felt at its peak (i.e., its most intense point) and at its end, rather than based on the total sum or average of every moment of the experience. The effect occurs regardless of whether the experience is pleasant or unpleasant. According to the heuristic, other information aside from that of the peak and end of the experience is not lost, but it is not used. This includes net pleasantness or unpleasantness and how long the experience lasted.

The big idea of the peak-end rule is that an experience isn’t only evaluated by how it ends, but also by its peak or climax. Even if an experience is largely unpleasant, awkward, or disappointing, if the peak and the end are strong then the overall experience will be viewed positively.

So how can we use this knowledge to improve sex with our spouse? By focusing our energy on the peak and end of the experience and learning to let go of our worries and frustrations about the rest. Beginnings can sometimes be especially difficult:

  • If one spouse is sexually responsive, sometimes it will take longer for him or her to “warm up” and become aroused.
  • If you’re trying a new position or activity it might take you a few minutes to figure out how to make it work.
  • If you just put the kids to bed they might come knocking at your door.
  • Your vibrator might need to be cleaned or might need new batteries.

Don’t let these speed bumps discourage you! No matter how difficult the beginning is it won’t have much effect on your retrospective enjoyment of the overall experience. Let’s dig a little more deeply into how we can make the peak and end of sex the best it can be.

This probably goes without saying, but the peak of a sexual encounter is likely to be the wife’s orgasm; if the wife chooses not to have an orgasm, or the activity is focused on the husband (e.g., blow job) then his orgasm will be the peak of the experience.

The most important thing to remember is: Do Whatever It Takes to Give Your Wife as Many Orgasms as She wants. If the wife wants an orgasm, she should get one! If your wife wants an orgasm and doesn’t get one, the peak of your sexual encounter will not be good. If you have to give up on your “great idea”, change positions, take more time than you expected, or whatever, just do it. Don’t prioritize a sexual script over the wife’s orgasm — even if you succeed in executing your plans perfectly, it will all be for nothing if the wife doesn’t get the orgasm she wants.

The husband’s orgasm is also an important part of the peak! Typically the husband’s orgasm is easier to accomplish, so the focus doesn’t need to be so much on making sure it happens, but more-so on timing his orgasm with the wife’s and giving the husband the visual and sensory experience he’s after.

The timing of the husband’s orgasm relative to the wife’s orgasm is an important decision to make.

  • Before the wife: It’s generally not good for the husband to climax before the wife (if she’s planning to have an orgasm). There may be situations where you plan to do this, but make sure you talk about it first.
  • With the wife: When the husband and wife climax at the same time you can create a very high peak for your experience.
  • After the wife: When the husband climaxes shortly after the wife, while she’s still highly aroused and coming down from her own orgasm, you can draw out the peak over a longer period of time.

Usually I climax a short time after Sexy Corte. Timing our orgasms to happen at the same time can be difficult and distracting; sometimes it happens, but usually I aim to climax a bit after her.

Men are visual creatures, and the quality of our orgasms is often connected with the visual and sensory elements that go into it — that’s why my orgasms are usually stronger after Sexy Corte has one! After the wife climaxes — or if she’s creating an experience focused on her husband’s pleasure — let the husband arrange your positions or activities to create the sensory experience he wants.

  • Visual: The husband may want a better view of the action or may want to see the wife from a different angle that isn’t conducive to her orgasm.
  • Wife’s responsiveness: The wife’s moans of pleasure and body responses are an important part of elongating the peak experience. Even if the wife didn’t have an orgasm, her signs of pleasure and arousal are an important part of her husband’s experience.
  • Ejaculation: Let the husband ejaculate where he wants to! Vagina, face, body, mouth, swallowing, butt. Semen is mystical and the husband’s peak will be higher if he can put it where he wants it.

Ok, that’s a lot about the peak — how can we make the end of a sexual encounter the best it can be?

  • Touch and cuddle. Whether it was a quickie or marathon, make sure to include some touching and cuddling afterwards, even if it’s only for a few seconds. If the experience was particularly difficult or emotional for one spouse make sure to spend extra time afterwards with comfort cuddling.
  • Focus on the positive. Ignore anything that went wrong and focus on what went right and what you enjoyed. Be thankful and grateful for the spouse God gave you. Be in awe of your spouse’s sexuality that you get to share. You might need to acknowledge some difficulty, but move past it quickly to praise the peak. “The kids sure were persistent, but wow it felt great when we….”
  • Words of affirmation. Tell your spouse what you enjoyed, what felt great. Don’t give advice or ideas for improvement right now — save them for later. “It felt great when…”, “You looked so hot when…”. It’s good to be specific and explicit!
  • Bring it up again later. The end of the experience can be elongated just like the peak can. “Last night sure was fun, especially when you….”

I encourage you to check out this story from one of our readers that is a perfect example of creating a great ending despite difficulties and frustrations during the sexual encounter. Part 1: “I felt too exposed and vulnerable”; Part 2: Perfect Example of Trying Again.

By focusing on your peaks and endings you can learn to ignore any momentary frustrations and create great sexual experiences. Please leave us a comment and let us know what you think. How do you make your peaks and endings the best they can be?

Oral Sex in History, Including Paradise Lost 6

We haven’t posted about oral sex in a while, and it’s one of our readers’ favorite topics! This post is motivated by another sexual verse in Paradise Lost (more posts) that clearly refers to Eve’s enjoyment of Adam’s oral proficiency. In Book VIII we read about Adam’s discourse with the angel Raphael about astronomy, and Eve decides to leave the conversation in order to tend her garden. It’s not that she’s uninterested in astronomy, but she prefers to talk about it later with Adam rather than with the angel. We read:

So spake our sire [Adam], and by his countenance seemed
Entering on studious thoughts abstruse; which Eve
Perceiving, where she sat retired in sight,
With lowliness majestic from her seat,
And grace that won who saw to wish her stay,
Rose, and went forth among her fruits and flowers,
To visit how they prospered, bud and bloom,
Her nursery; they at her coming sprung,
And, touched by her fair tendance, gladlier grew.
Yet went she not, as not with such discourse
Delighted, or not capable her ear
Of what was high: such pleasure she reserved,
Adam relating, she sole auditress;
Her husband the relater she preferred
Before the Angel, and of him to ask
Chose rather; he, she knew, would intermix
Grateful digressions, and solve high dispute
With conjugal caresses: from his lip
Not words alone pleased her.
O! when meet now
Such pairs, in love and mutual honour joined?

Why did Eve prefer to talk alone with Adam? Because he, she knew, would intermix their conversation with conjugal caresses! From his lip not words alone pleased her! Eve wanted Adam to use his mouth to please her with more than mere words.

I found this passage exciting not least because it’s a 17th century Western reference to a male performing oral sex on a female, which appears to be rather rare. If you’re interested in reading about oral sex across space and time you should check out these links (not safe for work; includes ancient artistic representations of oral sex).

Was oral sex an invention of modern western Europe? For instance, did Native American/First Nations people practice oral sex that we know of? And what about East Asians, and other non Europeans? [NSFW] with multiple in-depth, sourced responses pertaining to multiple cultures and time periods.
Latin response by /u/sunagainstgold
South American response by /u/CommodoreCoCo
China by /u/lordtiandao
More China by /u/bigbluepanda

/u/machiavalium

History is full of humans just like us, so we shouldn’t be surprised that they enjoyed sex and did everything we do. John Milton intentionally portrays Adam and Eve’s pre-Fall sexual relationship in a positive, blessed light, and modern Christians should take the same view: God’s will is for you to have an awesome sex life with your spouse!

The Peak of Eve's Sexuality in Paradise Lost 7

According to John Milton, the peak of innocent feminine sexuality is to serve food naked. From Paradise Lost Book V we read about Eve preparing a meal and serving it to Adam and the visiting angel Raphael.

… Mean while at table
Eve Ministered naked, and their flowing cups
With pleasant liquours crowned: O innocence
Deserving Paradise! if ever, then,
Then had the sons of God excuse to have been
Enamoured at that sight; but in those hearts
Love unlibidinous reigned, nor jealousy
Was understood, the injured lover’s hell.

Milton says that if anything could have tempted the sons of God (angels) into lust it would have been the sight of Eve preparing and serving food naked. Fortunately Raphael’s love was unlibidinous (non-sexual) and Adam had no understanding of jealousy.

This passage amused me and Sexy Corte because this is exactly what she does every year for my birthday! After the kids are asleep upstairs, my wonderful wife cooks me dinner wearing nothing by an apron while I watch and enjoy her beauty. I might help with the preparations a little, but my help is mostly an excuse to touch Sexy Corte’s naked body. In between courses of food she serves me dessert several times. It’s one of my favorite nights of the year!

(Read more about Adam and Eve’s sexuality in Paradise Lost.)

Jockey Sex Position, Perfect for Snuggling 8

We first wrote about the jockey sex position over four years ago with lots of tips and tricks, and we’ve decided to write about it again because of a recent morning encounter that was especially intimate. Go read the earlier post for foundational information — we’re not going to repeat it all in this post.

People usually don’t think of rear-entry positions as being particularly intimate, with doggy style as the most notable example. Some wives feel that doggy style makes them feel disconnected or distant from their husband because of the limited touch and eye contact. Some wives also hesitate to embrace doggy style because the position makes them feel more vulnerable or submissive than they’re ready for. If you or your wife are feeling that way, then jockey position might be a great thing to try — it’s fun in its own way, and it could be a stepping stone towards doggy style.

If you aren’t familiar with jockey position, here’s a diagram from ChristianFriendlySexPositions.com that they call “flatiron”. They don’t have the jockey position in their database, but it’s the same as flatiron minus the pillow under the wife’s hips. (But feel free to use a pillow, it’s great.)

Jockey has a lot more skin contact than doggy style even though it isn’t face-to-face, and it’s wonderfully easy to hold hands in this position. Like all rear entry positions, jockey is probably best used after the wife has an orgasm or when she doesn’t want one. Sexy Corte has had an orgasm in this position (with a bullet vibrator), but jockey isn’t the best position for this.

Sexy Corte and I use jockey very frequently when she isn’t in the mood for an orgasm. What made this instance particularly memorable was the time I spent touching rather than thrusting. After entering her, instead of lying right down on her back I spent a while kneeling upright, rubbing and kissing all over her body. I love her butt, so this was a great opportunity to squeeze and spank her and the view was awesome. I kissed all over her back, shoulders, and neck, and rubbed her up and down from her hands to her butt.

Even though Sexy Corte didn’t want an orgasm, she really enjoyed this intimate attention. It was certainly sexual (because I was inside her the whole time), but the touching didn’t stimulate her to frustration like rubbing her clitoris would (without an orgasm). I love petting and kissing Sexy Corte, and it gratified me to give her that intimate physical pleasure when she didn’t want an orgasm.

Sexy Corte adds: Jockey is great, especially if I don’t want to have an orgasm. I like it because it’s relaxed and snuggly. We frequently do this position in the mornings when we’re both sleepy, and it’s very comfy for me and I can enjoy El Fury’s closeness and warmth. I have been able to orgasm in this position but it can be tricky to get the vibrator in the right spot. Anytime El Fury focuses on petting me I become incapacitated, and I always love a good petting session when we can connect like this.

What are you favorite sex positions for snuggling? Wives, what positions to you most enjoy if you aren’t in the mood for an orgasm?

Adam and Eve's Sex in "Paradise Lost" 10

Paradise Lost is an epic poem written by John Milton and published in 1667 that chronicles the temptation and fall of Adam and Eve, largely written from Satan’s point of view. It’s a challenging read, but Sexy Corte and I are enjoying it together in the evenings. Obviously Paradise Lost isn’t scripture and has no authority in your life, but we have found some passages to be beautiful and inspiring.

Book IV describes Adam and Eve saying their evening prayers and then having sex before falling asleep. I will break up the quote with my thoughts, while attempting to disrupt the flow as little as possible.

Their prayer to God begins:

“Thou also madest the Night,
Maker Omnipotent; and thou the Day,
Which we, in our appointed work employed,
Have finished, happy in our mutual help
And mutual love, the crown of all our bliss
Ordained by thee; and this delicious place,
For us too large, where thy abundance wants
Partakers, and unpicked falls to the ground.

Adam and Even have finished tending the Garden of Eden for the day and praise God for this delicious place and the mutual love that is the crown of all our bliss. But Eden is too large and abundant for them alone.

But thou hast promised from us two a race
To fill the Earth, who shall with us extol
Thy goodness infinite, both when we wake,
And when we seek, as now, thy gift of sleep.”

They remind themselves of God’s promise that they won’t be alone forever, that God intends to fill the earth with people who will worship Him day and night.

This said unanimous, and other rites
Observing none, but adoration pure,
Which God likes best, into their inmost bower
Handed they went, and, eased the putting-off
These troublesome disguises which we wear,
Straight side by side were laid; nor turned, I ween,
Adam from his fair spouse, nor Eve the rites
Mysterious of connubial love refused:
Whatever hypocrites austerely talk
Of purity, and place, and innocence,
Defaming as impure what God declares
Pure, and commands to some, leaves free to all.

Adam and Eve were unified in their prayer and performed no bedtime rituals other than to give God their adoration pure, which God likes best.

Then things get a little more interesting!

Getting into bed, Adam and Even put off these troublesome disguises which we wear — not clothes, but perhaps simply the demeanor and mindset required to perform their daily work — a focus on productivity and responsibility. With their prayers complete, perhaps they even set aside their conscious worship of God and turned their attention to each other — continuing to worship God nonetheless.

Adam and Eve lay down straight side by side facing each other. Adam did not turn away from his fair spouse, and Eve did not refuse the rites of mysterious connubial love. This rite certainly stands alongside the rite of adoration pure they just proclaimed for God together: both rites pure and simple, requiring nothing else to magnify them or prop them up.

And then Milton addresses the austere hypocrites who create rules and rituals around connubial love that that are unnecessary and even harmful, just like the rules and rituals the Pharisees created around their relationship with God. Rules about purity, as if marital sex could ever be impure. Rules about place, as if marital sex must be confined to a time, location, or circumstance. Rules about innocence, as if marital sex could ever be shameful, slutty, or dirty. No! God declares pure sex in marriage, and leaves this blessing free to all who desire it.

Our Maker bids increase; who bids abstain
But our destroyer, foe to God and Man?

What’s more, for marital sex Our Maker bids increase — God bids you to have more sex in your marriage, and thereby more bliss. In contrast, abstention from sex in marriage comes from our destroyer and foe.

Hail, wedded Love, mysterious law, true source
Of human offspring, sole propriety
In Paradise of all things common else!

Sole propriety here means that wedded Love is the only “property” (thing you can own) in Paradise, where everything else is held in common. In Paradise everything belongs to everyone, except your marital love. Your marital sex life belongs only to you and your spouse; it is your property.

Continuing on the topic of wedded Love:

By thee adulterous lust was driven from men
Among the bestial herds to range; by thee,
Founded in reason, loyal, just, and pure,
Relations dear, and all the charities
Of father, son, and brother, first were known.

Wedded Love is founded on reason: loyal, just, and pure. (See also: Applying the Fruit of the Spirit to Your Sex Life.) In fact, all relationships and loves that we hold dear were first known through marital love.

Now Milton breaks into the first-person:

Far be it that I should write thee sin or blame,
Or think thee unbefitting holiest place,
Perpetual fountain of domestic sweets,
Whose bed is undefiled and chaste pronounced,
Present, or past, as saints and patriarchs used.

Wedded Love is above and beyond any sin or blame and is fit for the holiest place. Milton wants to make sure that his readers don’t miss an important point: Adam and Eve’s sin in Eden was not about sex or nakedness. Marital love is a perpetual fountain of domestic sweets: never bitter, and never dry.

Here Love his golden shafts employs, here lights
His constant lamp, and waves his purple wings,
Reigns here and revels; not in the bought smile
Of harlots—loveless, joyless, unendeared,
Casual fruition; nor in court amours,
Mixed dance, or wanton mask, or midnight ball,
Or serenade, which the starved lover sings
To his proud fair, best quitted with disdain.

Wedded Love is a golden angel who reigns and revels — a boisterous party! In contrast, the love of harlots and casual fruition (casual dalliances), are loveless and joyless. Wedded Love is no wanton midnight ball, and no starved lover pining for an unrequited love. Wedded Love is above and beyond all these shameful, bestial lusts and should not ever be lumped together with them.

This section of the poem closes with an exhortation for Adam and Eve:

These, lulled by nightingales, embracing slept,
And on their naked limbs the flowery roof
Showered roses, which the morn repaired. Sleep on,
Blest pair! and, O! yet happiest, if ye seek
No happier state, and know to know no more!

Adam and Eve will be happiest if they seek no happiness beyond the bliss of their wedded Love, sleeping naked in each others arms.

(The engraving above is by William Blake.)

Applying the Fruit of the Spirit to Your Sex Life 11

How can we apply the Fruit of the Spirit to sex with our spouse?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

The Fruit of the Spirit is written in the singular form — there is one Fruit that manifests in nine ways. The Fruit of the Spirit is grown in the life of the believer by the work of the Holy Spirit, not by human effort. Being Fruitful is not a matter of trying hard, it’s a result of walking by the Spirit (v. 16) through the power of the Spirit.

So let’s take a look at the nine manifestations of the Fruit of the Spirit and consider what a Fruitful sex life with your spouse will look like.

Love. “Affection, good will, benevolence.” Fruitful sex is built on genuine affection for your spouse, not only physical pleasure. You pursue what is good for your spouse and look out for his or her best interests. Fruitful sex is intentional and consensual, not manipulative or domineering.

Joy. “Gladness, cheerfulness, calm delight.” A Fruitful sex life is bright and delightful. You cultivate a grateful attitude for your spouse and enjoy sex together.

Peace. “Harmony, concord, quietness, rest.” Fruitful sex is rejuvenating and harmonious, a refuge from the stress and frustrations of life. You and your spouse pursue agreement and compromise.

Patience. “Endurance, constancy, steadfastness, perseverance, forbearance, long-suffering, slowness in avenging wrongs.” A Fruitful sex life is a rock of stability and confidence, never wavering even in challenging circumstances. You wait on each other and serve each other without haste or grumbling.

Kindness. “Moral goodness, integrity, moral usefulness and excellence.” Fruitful sex is a fountain of goodness and blessing for your marriage. Fruitful sex edifies the spirit, body, and mind of both spouses.

Goodness. “Uprightness of heart and life, beneficence.” A Fruitful sex life is honest, virtuous, and excellent. When your sex is Fruitful it is one of the best parts of your marriage. Fruitful sex is a strong foundation for your relationship. You value your sex life and protect it.

Faithfulness. “Fidelity, the character of one who can be relied on, moral conviction.” Fruitful sex is dependable and steady no matter what else is happening in life. Fruitful sex is devoted and committed. Fruitful sex can be relied on in any storm. You are quick and eager to invest in your sex life.

Gentleness. “Mildness of disposition, meekness of spirit, humble.” A Fruitful sex life is generous and giving, focused on the good of your spouse. Fruitful sex does not make demands; you are focused on nurturing and caring for your spouse.

Self-control. “Temperance, the virtue of one who masters his desires and passions, especially his sensual appetites.” A Fruitful sex life is passionate and sensual, but it is ruled by the Spirit rather than by physical demands. Fruitful sex is not reckless, but uses our words and bodies carefully. You discipline your mind and body to make your sex life the best it can possibly be. You put in the effort required to be a sexual blessing to your spouse.

Consider praying through this list with your spouse and ask God to grow the Fruit of the Spirit in your sex life. Don’t berate yourself and promise God to try harder — this Fruit doesn’t come from you, it comes from the Holy Spirit. Repent of any sin in your life that may be hindering the work of the Spirit, and then wait on him and see how he works.

How have you seen this Fruit in your sex life? How have you and your spouse grown over time? Leave a comment and let us know!