Use a Reversible Stuffy to Indicate Your Sexual Mood 1

There’s obviously no substitute for talking with your spouse about sex, but Sexy Corte and I have found a simple and cute way to communicate without words: a reversible stuffed octopus. Usually the octopus sits on our dresser smiling, but during the down part of Sexy Corte’s cycle she turns the octopus inside-out to let me know that she isn’t feeling receptive to sexual advances. We still talk, of course, but the stuffy helps us baseline.

Sexy Corte wants me to get the octopus a little hat to wear when she’s feeling really horny.

If you liked this, please share it!

Favorite Gift of 2022: Sexy Coupon Book 2

My favorite Christmas gift this year was a sexy coupon book from Sexy Corte. The booklet has 27 coupons, including three blanks. One of my goals for 2023 is to use all the coupons before the end of the year!

I used the first coupon last night for a baby oil massage. I’ve never been oiled-up all over my body before, and it was a pretty luxurious feeling. Sexy Corte oiled herself first — which was fun to watch — and then oiled me by rubbing her body all over mine — no hands allowed. When we were both dangerously slippery we had sex and then took a bubble bath together. 10/10 — would recommend.

What makes a coupon book such a great gift?

  • Anticipation. It’s like telling your spouse, “look at all the sexy things I’ve got in store for you!” Every coupon is something fun to look forward to.
  • Potential. The three blank coupons are full of potential! It’s fun just to imagine what I might want to write on there. There are only three coupons, but I can think of 100 things I could write. It’s like I’ve got three wishes from my own sexy genie!
  • Initiative. I love that Sexy Corte took the initiative to give me the coupons, and thereby gave me “permission” to take initiative and use the coupons when I want to. Even without the coupons I could have asked her to do any of these things, but now I feel confident asking for them because she has intentionally given me this power.

You can find dozens of sexy coupon books on Etsy and elsewhere, or you can make your own! If you’re having trouble thinking of ideas, ask your spouse what he or she wants, browse our blog, or use the random sex adventure generator.

(The image for this post is from the SNL skit “Dick in a Box”.)

Have you ever given or received a sexual coupon book? What was your experience with it?

If you liked this, please share it!

El Shaddai: God Who Provides, and Women's Breasts 4

God intends for every married couple to experience satisfaction, intoxication, and intimacy in their marriage, and he has created breasts and given them to the wife to help accomplish this purpose.

There are hundreds of names for God in the Bible, and each one reveals a different aspect of his nature. It’s impossible to know for certain what the history and origin of each name is beyond what is revealed to us in the Bible, but this post will discuss one possible etymology for the name El Shaddai that reveals God’s nature as our provider and sustainer using the feminine imagery of breasts. After we lay that foundation, we’ll discuss how this imagery can be applied within your marriage.

El Shaddai is most commonly translated as “God Almighty” — El is a straightforward reference to God, but Shaddai is more hotly debated. One possible origin is the Hebrew word “shad” (שד) which means “breast”. Feminine imagery connected with God is unusual in the Bible, but clearly reasonable given the name’s contextual use in Genesis: five of the six uses of El Shaddai are in relation to fertility and fruitfulness. For example:

24 
But his [Joseph’s] bow remained steady,
    his strong arms stayed limber,
because of the hand of the Mighty One of Jacob,
    because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel,
25 
because of your father’s God, who helps you,
    because of the Almighty [Shaddai], who blesses you
with blessings of the skies above,
    blessings of the deep springs below,
    blessings of the breast [shad] and womb.

Genesis 49:24-25

In verse 25 we see this beautiful poetic repetition where God’s name Shaddai is intentionally used alongside the word shad — God is the one who gives his people the blessings of the breast (and womb, for that matter).

Other uses of El Shaddai in Genesis have similar explicit connections to fertility and fruitfulness.

May God Almighty [El Shaddai] bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples.

Genesis 28:3

And God said to him, “I am God Almighty [El Shaddai]; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you [ḥālāṣ, loins], and kings will be among your descendants.

Genesis 35:11

God created women and femininity to reflect important elements of his nature, and it’s beautiful and useful to understand these attributes of God. (Remember: God is a spirit and neither male nor female; even though he has revealed himself to us primarily through masculine imagery, he is the origin and creator of both the ideal masculine and the ideal feminine.)

Now that we’ve laid this foundation, let’s consider this revelation of God’s nature alongside Proverbs 5, a passage that we’ve written about previously in the post Be Intoxicated Always in Her Love.

18 
May your fountain be blessed,
    and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
    may her breasts satisfy you always,
    may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
20 
Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife?
    Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?

Proverbs 5:18-20

In this passage we can see three ways that a woman’s breasts incarnate aspects of God’s nature. For the purposes of this blog post, let’s focus on physical and sexual intimacy between a husband and wife, while recognizing that there are many other angles that could also be fruitfully explored.

  • Satisfaction. This attribute of breasts is foundational to the imagery: breasts are nourishing, nurturing, and satisfying. They represent God’s provision for a need he has created in us. Every husband should look for satisfaction in his wife’s breasts, and every wife should recognize her breasts as a gift of provision from God — for the benefit of her husband and herself.
  • Intoxication connects back to the imagery of the abundant fountain in verse 18. Every husband should be aroused, fascinated, captivated, and seduced by his wife’s breasts, and every wife should embody God’s delightful, joyful nature through her breasts.
  • Embracing. Breasts are the heart of intimacy: safety, acceptance, comfort, belonging. Every husband should pursue intimacy with his wife through her breasts, and every wife should understand how God has created her breasts to enable loving intimacy with her husband.

Breasts are a physical embodiment of feminine aspects of God’s nature, and we should praise him for his creative provision!

If you liked this, please share it!

"I know how you think. You like to summon me." 5

After I wrote the post Write Your Sexual To-Do List On Your Spouse’s Body Sexy Corte recognized something. She said, “I know how you think. You like to summon me.” She’s right.

Since then, we’ve been playing with this idea a bit. The thought of having Sexy Corte at my beck-and-call really turns me on, but she’s a very busy lady and highly conscientious. She doesn’t want to drop what she’s doing to fool around at my whim.

Here are some things that have worked for us. You can obviously reverse all these tips if the wife is summoning the husband. Remember: this is playful and should be enjoyable for both spouses.

  • Discuss in advance. If I’m interested in playing this game during the day I’ll float it with Sexy Corte in the morning. If she’s in a playful and happy mood, then great; if she has a frantic or frustrating day ahead of her, then nope. You can’t read each others’ minds, so you need to communicate.
  • Set clear expectations. “Come down to my office” is pretty vague. Without some context Sexy Corte might come downstairs to review bills or put away groceries rather than to fool around. “Come to my office and show me your boobs” is more direct and clear.
  • Be flexible. It might be fun to playfully summon your wife immediately, but if your wife is highly conscientious then interrupting her while she’s busy will dampen her libido. Try something like, “Come to my office when you’ve completed your current project” or “Come to my office when you have five minutes to fool around” might work better.
  • Be responsive. When the wife receives the message she should acknowledge it and provide an estimated time of arrival. “Yes sir! I’ll be there in 20 minutes” or “I’m sorry sir, I just got called away. Let’s try tomorrow.” (The “sir” makes the game more fun for me, but do whatever works for you!)

Do you ever summon your spouse for sexy fun? What works for you? Leave a comment and share.

If you liked this, please share it!

Sexy Chess Rules 6

Our family has been into chess recently, so here are some rules that you and your spouse can use to turn chess into a sexy adult game.

  • You may distract your spouse however you want on his or her turn: visually, vocally, verbally, or physically.
  • When you capture a pawn, your spouse removes a piece of clothing.
  • When you capture a piece other than a pawn, your spouse pleasures you for one minute.
  • When you check your spouse’s king, you may use your spouse however you want for one minute.
  • The winner gets to pick the finishing sex position.

Some additional ideas:

  • Vibrator: It’s not really fair, but I love vibing Sexy Corte while she’s trying to think. (See also: Tie, Tease, Trivia.)
  • Body board: Draw a chess board on your body. Could be a fun surprise for your spouse! Whoever is the board needs to hold really still, and may have trouble playing, but the challenge is part of the fun.
  • Candy pieces: Use some sweets for the pieces and eat them off each other when they’re captured.
  • Bifecta: Have sex while you’re playing. (See: Bifecta: The Beast With Two Tablets.)

Do you have any ideas for sexy chess? Let us know in the comments!

If you liked this, please share it!

Write Your Sexual To-Do List On Your Spouse's Body 7

If you want to make sure to remember your sexy plans, write your to-do list on your spouse’s body!

Last week I texted to ask Sexy Corte to come down to my office so we could talk about our to-do list. She came down eagerly, because she’s extremely conscientious and loves organizing. Then I bent her over my desk, pulled down her panties, and wrote “fuck me harder sir!” on her butt. I didn’t tell her what I’d written, and it turned me on like crazy to know that the first thing she did when she went upstairs was to check herself out in a mirror.

Later that night we made sure to get our to-do list done, and seeing my writing on my wife’s skin during doggy-style was an incredible feeling. Sexy Corte repeated back to me what what I’d written, and a very conscientious and fulfilling time was had by all.

Here are some more ideas for using your spouse’s body as a sexy to-do list. Make sure to use non-toxic markers!

  • Checkboxes for foreplay. Draw five empty squares on your wife’s breasts, above your husband’s manhood, or wherever you’re inclined. Throughout the day take time to lick your spouse and check off a box each time you do.
  • Secret messages. Write a secret message on a part of your spouse’s body that your spouse will struggle to find or read. Quiz your spouse later to to make sure he or she figured it out.
  • Achievements. The wife can draw a line on her husband’s manhood to show how far she can take him into her mouth. You could also write check-marks or timestamps on your spouse’s body each time he or she has an orgasm.
  • Timestamps. Whenever you see any of your spouse’s interesting body parts, write down the current time on the part you see.
  • Places. If you have sex in an unusual place, write the time and place on an (in)appropriate part of your spouse.

Do you have any other ideas for using your spouse’s body as a to-do list? Leave a comment and let us know what you think!

If you liked this, please share it!

Coming Home to a Wife Who Is a Bountiful Garden 8

I just came home from traveling for a couple of weeks, but I never really feel home again until Sexy Corte and I have penis-in-vagina sex. I’m not really home until I’ve made love with my wife.

Over seven years ago (!) we wrote about Welcome Home Sex and shared some tips for making it great, but what is it that makes coming home so great? Three-thousand years ago Solomon wrote:

Proverbs 13:12 — Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

There’s something archetypal in the imagery of the wife as the bountiful garden wherein lives the tree of life. Again from Solomon we read in chapter 4 an invitation from the wife to her husband:

Let my beloved come to his garden,
    and eat its choicest fruits.

And in chapter 6 we see that the husband eagerly accepts the invitation.

My beloved has gone down to his garden
to the beds of spices,
to graze in the gardens
and to gather lilies.
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine;
he grazes among the lilies.

The wife’s body is an archetypal location:

  • where love is
  • the source of growth and creation
  • where nourishment and comfort are found
  • a place of safety and acceptance
  • a place of inward-focused power
  • private community — marriage, family
  • a fountain of abundance, overflowing water
  • the home of telluric wisdom; an oracle

The wife’s soul cultivates and protects this garden, and she invites her husband inside to share it with her.

If you liked this, please share it!

Regret and Sex Toy Accidents 9

This post probably won’t be about whatever the title made you think of. Do you want the funny link first, or the serious one?

Ok, I heard someone say “funny”, so…

Regret and Sex Toy Accidents 10
Source: The Lost Ogle (nsfw)

If you and your wife were waiting for a special delivery you might need to check your tracking number.

Ok, now for the serious link: Bridget Phetasy writes “I regret being a slut”.

I was first inspired to write this piece when a 19-year-old woman I used to wait tables with asked me: “Bridget, have you ever regretted having sex with a man?”

I laughed. “Yeah. All of them.”

That’s not entirely true. There was my first love in high school. And my first husband. But if I’m honest with myself, of the dozens of men I’ve been with (at least the ones I remember), I can only think of a handful I don’t regret. The rest I would put in the category of “casual,” which I would define as sex that is either meaningless or mediocre (or both). If I get really honest with myself, I’d say most of these usually drunken encounters left me feeling empty and demoralized. And worthless.

I wouldn’t have said that at the time, though. At the time, I would have told you I was “liberated” even while I tried to drink away the sick feeling of rejection when my most recent hook-up didn’t call me back. At the time, I would have said one-night stands made me feel “emboldened.” But in reality, I was using sex like a drug; trying unsuccessfully to fill a hole inside me with men. (Pun intended.)

I know regretting most of my sexual encounters is not something a sex-positive feminist who used to write a column for Playboy is supposed to admit.

The whole piece is worth reading. We all have regrets of some kind — sexual or otherwise — and we all hope that our children won’t make the same mistakes we did. Each of us has inherent value as image-bearers of God, and through Christ we can obtain grace and forgiveness for all our regrets. No matter where you are in life, it’s only one step back to God. We pray for all our readers that you wouldn’t suffer under the burden of regret when there is peace available for you!

Jesus said: “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.

Matthew 18:12-14

If you liked this, please share it!

A Little Wager 11

I don’t think a certain elected Official will serve out his full term, but Sexy Corte does. So we have a little wager. She wanted me to write this out so that there wouldn’t be any ambiguity (when I win!).

If the Official serves his full elected term then I will plan a fun and exciting date with Sexy Corte. I will arrange child care, and whatever else is required.

If the Official doesn’t serve his full term for any reason, then Sexy Corte has to show me her boobs for at least five seconds every time she comes down to the basement. She has to continue doing this until the the end of the day on which the Official’s term would have normally ended.

I have to say, I’m very excited for this bet. Even if Sexy Corte wins, I get to take her on an awesome date! Do you ever make bets like this with your spouse? Who won, and what were the rewards?

(See also: Fun Rewards For Sex Game Winners.)

If you liked this, please share it!