Sexy Corte and I had been alternating sick for several weeks and hadn’t been kissing, and it’s crazy how much I missed it! We were still having sex, but missing out on kissing was affecting me more than I realized. I think we’re over the hump now, and we need to rebuild the habit of frequent kissing.

We’ve written several posts about how to maintain intimacy while sick, but if you’re concerned about contagion it’s pretty hard to keep kissing!

Maybe kissing is like vanilla sex: it seems routine, but is much more important for your relationship that you may realize.

Go kiss your spouse!

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(Part 1, Part 2)

After getting a fever four days ago and testing positive for COVID three days ago, I think my condition is finally starting to improve. My terrible sore throat is waning and my nasal congestion is waxing, which I think is a good sign. Sexy Corte is still uncomfortable and coughing a lot, for going on three weeks now.

One thing we’ve realized through this period of illness is that being sick affects our libidos very differently. When Sexy Corte is sick her libido goes into hibernation, but being sick doesn’t lessen my libido much at all. The medicine I take (especially pseudoephedrine) might make it difficult to get or maintain an erection, but it’s not for lack of desire.

For me, tender and nurturing sex is very comforting when I’m sick. Two days ago we were able to do a very vanilla wife-on-top encounter that was wonderfully intimate despite our sicknesses. We both orgasmed and then we cuddled for a while with Sexy Corte laying on top of me. It was really nice, even though we’re not kissing again for fear of additional infection.

Many people crave sexual novelty, excitement, and adventure, but don’t miss out on the blessing of sex that is healing and nurturing.

Update:

Commenter “Andrew DEDMAN” says:

What is wrong with you. Intimincy isn’t it a given . we don’t have to have realtions on a calender.

I’m not entirely sure what this comment means, but I’ll try to address it anyway.

Intimacy in marriage isn’t a given — it takes work and investment, even when times are tough. “In sickness and in health.” We’ve decided to cultivate a habit of daily sex in our marriage. We don’t have sex every single day, but when we don’t have sex it’s because we’ve decided not to. We expect to have sex every day.

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Not that everyone cares about our sex life, but now that Sexy Corte is (gradually) recovering I’m sick. I tested positive for COVID on Monday morning, and now I’m feeling moderately sick.

Fortunately we had a great sex session on Sunday morning before church! It was the first time we kissed in two weeks and we were so hungry for each other.

Then Sunday night I started feeling sick, and it was downhill from there. Sexy Corte has been taking great care of me, and I’m hoping that her nursing will turn a bit naughtier this evening.

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Things have been slow here for a couple of weeks, and slow for us sexually as a couple since Christmas Eve. We’ve got several podcast episodes lined up to record, several blog posts to write, and lots of email to respond to. Unfortunately Sexy Corte has been sick with a really bad cold for almost two weeks now — the test says it isn’t COVID, but who knows. This illness has dampened our libido, which makes it hard to write and record about sexual topics.

Many people endure long periods of illness, and we’re blessed that Sexy Corte is recovering. We’re grateful, and we know that many people suffer worse than she has. But still — this sickness has really hindered our intimacy for the past two weeks. SC has been too drained to try for an orgasm, and just plain tired in the evening from her illness. We haven’t kissed in a long time, even though we’re sleeping next to each other every night. As far as I can remember, this is the most prolonged health-related intimacy challenge we’ve had since we’ve been married.

Does anyone have any tips they can share for maintaining intimacy while one or both spouses is sick? Even aside from sex, how can we connect intimately under the circumstances?

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