Share Your Tips for Maintaining Intimacy While Sick

Share Your Tips for Maintaining Intimacy While Sick 1

Things have been slow here for a couple of weeks, and slow for us sexually as a couple since Christmas Eve. We’ve got several podcast episodes lined up to record, several blog posts to write, and lots of email to respond to. Unfortunately Sexy Corte has been sick with a really bad cold for almost two weeks now — the test says it isn’t COVID, but who knows. This illness has dampened our libido, which makes it hard to write and record about sexual topics.

Many people endure long periods of illness, and we’re blessed that Sexy Corte is recovering. We’re grateful, and we know that many people suffer worse than she has. But still — this sickness has really hindered our intimacy for the past two weeks. SC has been too drained to try for an orgasm, and just plain tired in the evening from her illness. We haven’t kissed in a long time, even though we’re sleeping next to each other every night. As far as I can remember, this is the most prolonged health-related intimacy challenge we’ve had since we’ve been married.

Does anyone have any tips they can share for maintaining intimacy while one or both spouses is sick? Even aside from sex, how can we connect intimately under the circumstances?

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  1. My husband gets sick very easily, and it often lingers for a week or so, no matter the illness. He’s probably sick more often than he’s well, now that I think about it. We still make a point to hold each other every morning for 10 minutes or so and every evening for a longer period of time, at least an hour, even though sexual intimacy is not really an option. Sometimes we do this naked, which is nice, but it can be challenging for the spouse who isn’t sick (99% of the time, me- and I am the higher drive spouse to begin with) to dial back their desires. Good luck and get well soon!

    1. We do cuddle before and after going to sleep, which is always great. Physical contact and conversation are definitely good for intimacy.

  2. Even if it’s not to orgasm, I’m always happy to go down on my wife to help her relax and just generally feel good. As long as I’m not sick/can breathe, it’s ok if she’s feeling stuffed up. Also, for other non-face-to-face activity, we will sit in bed naked. I’ll lean against the headboard with her between my legs and leaning against my chest. I can massage her breasts and she’ll use a vibrator on herself.

    Finally, whether to orgasm or not, we’ll have sex in the spooning position. It feels nice and close but does require face to face or heavy breathing which mind be difficult.

  3. Cuddling and compassion are key. I just went through a week-long illness that left my energy quite drained for another week. Fortunately, we were able to connect sexually a few times, but far less than our usual. In the beginning, he was understanding and enjoyed our time as possible. This second week, not so much. Perhaps endurance on the part of the spouse that is not ill, is key to intimacy because his lack of understanding has me feeling anything but desire.

    1. I agree that understanding and patience are super important. It’s not the sick person’s fault that they’re sick.

  4. Keep kissing, it’s highly likely you’re going to catch whatever bug the other has anyway so just kiss. Every morning and every night as a bare minimum. Read sexy stories to her but don’t expect anything back, run them a bath and wash them if they’d like that. If they’re tired, do extra stuff around the house without being asked so the other doesn’t feel like it’s all piling up for when they’re better. Watch films you both enjoy, snuggled on the sofa and enjoy a little petting without expectation (pretend you’re in the cinema) of it going further.

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