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Wife “NN” writes:

I had a very uncomfortable situation recently. My husband and I went for a weekend away with our really good friends, and we decided to save some money by sharing a hotel room. We made a rule: no sex while both couples are in the room. We agreed we would give each other time alone during the trip. Anyway, the first night we go out and we all get pretty drunk, especially my husband. That night, I woke up in the middle of the night and I could hear our friends whispering. I peeked out from under my covers and could not believe my eyes. They were clearly having sex.

At this point, my husband was completely passed out and I pretended to be sleeping. My girlfriend was trying to be quiet but I could clearly hear her moaning. I must have dozed off again, and when I opened my eyes my girlfriend was facing me and her husband was spooning her. What was worse was the blanket was off and her legs were open and I could see everything, including his penis going in and out of her vagina. I had no idea what to do so I pretended to sleep, and this continued for a hour or more. In the morning my husband was oblivious to what I witnessed, and he went to the gym. I went to the bathroom and when I came out my girlfriend was standing completely naked in front of me and hugged me. I am so embarrassed. I want to tell my husband but he will just laugh. Along with all this embarrassment, I really got turned on by watching them and I’m not sure what to do. Help?

This does sound like an awkward situation. I think it’s ok to talk to both your friend and your husband about it. It’s good to have boundaries, and it sounds like your friends crossed yours. You don’t have to dwell on what happened, but acknowledging it can clear the air and then you can move on in your relationship. If it’s still bothering you after some times has passed, talking about it with your husband and laughing together might help you move on.

As for being aroused, I don’t think you need to feel bad about it. Your body responded to what it was seeing. If your mind is dwelling on it, try to turn your thoughts towards your husband and your sex life with him. We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can use every experience in life for God’s glory.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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Buddy the Elf said “First we’ll make snow angels for two hours, then we’ll go ice skating, then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie Dough as fast as we can and then we’ll snuggle“. There are few pleasures in life that are greater than snuggling. However, in our busy lives, how often do we take time to snuggle? Buddy was onto something with scheduling time to snuggle. Put snuggling on your calendar — or set an alarm to snuggle.

Snuggling has a lot of health benefits. When you snuggle, you release oxytocin, which does all sorts of wonderful things. Oxytocin can make you feel all lovey, can boost your immune system, relieve pain, lower stress, and help you sleep better. It’s the chemical that is released in nursing mothers that deepens the bond between the mother and child. Human touch can also release dopamine, which can increase intimacy and enhance your lovemaking experience.

There are a variety of ways to snuggle:

  • Spooning: El Fury and I have a ‘Snuggle Alarm’ that goes off 10 minutes before we actually want to get up. Actually, it goes off 10 minutes before we have sex… and then we get up. I love that 10 minutes in the morning. I roll to my side and El Fury nestles up behind me for spooning. We lay there in a sleepy state, sometimes talking about how we slept, sometimes lucid dreaming. If I’m going to have sexy dreams, those usually take place during this 10 minutes of snuggling. We also spoon for a few minutes before we fall asleep.
  • Snuggle Classic: There are times that my body craves sidling up to El Fury, laying my head on his chest and draping a leg casually over one of his. This is a great position right before bed, especially if El Fury is still reading and I’m drifting off to sleep.
  • Sexy Snuggling: My favorite foreplay position! I can stay in this position forever, it is so delightful. El Fury and I face each other, I prop my leg up on top of his and nuzzle my face into his neck. He plays with my lady bits while I lay there and bask in comfort, and eventually I start to play with him. Time disappears. At some point I’m motivated by the thought of the kids waking up and we switch to a more aggressive foreplay position.
  • Sit next to each other: This seems simple, but even sitting close to each other while watching a show or parallel playing can still give you the benefits of snuggling.
  • Spontaneous Snuggle: Sometimes a quick hug or snuggle does the trick! Be mindful to make intentional touch-points throughout your day. If El Fury is sitting at his computer and I come in to ask him a question, he opens up his arms and I hop on his lap for a minute.

Do you and your spouse snuggle? What are your favorite ways to snuggle? I hope you enjoy each other in this way. Marriage is a blessing, and the presence of someone you love is one of God’s greatest gifts. Don’t let the time slip by without enjoying the simple pleasure of snuggling.

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Everyone knows that spooning leads to forking, and sometimes it’s a comfy, intimate after-party. However, spooning can also be a great position for sex all by itself Here are a few tips to make it work.

  • Get naked. Nothing feels better than skin-on-skin along the whole length of your naked bodies.
  • Slide down. Usually the husband is the “big spoon” in back. Unless you’re foot taller than your wife you will need to slide your body down towards her feet and put her butt against your stomach to enable optimal penetration. In the normal cuddling position her girly bits are likely to be too low for thrusting.
  • Superfluous arm. The worst part about spooning is that darn superfluous arm that gets pinned against the bed! Basically there are two options: bring it up under your head, or wrap it around your wife’s body under her arm. Either way can work. Personally, I like to…
  • Cop a feel. When I’m spooning Sexy Corte I always grab a boob or two, even when we’re just cuddling. It’s super-intimate, and it’s just comfy for my hand. If we’re having sex in this position I may wrap my other arm around beneath her to grab both.
  • Take it easy. Spooning sex isn’t about going fast or hard, it’s about relaxation, intimacy, and comfort. Be lazy. Move slowly. Luxuriate in the feel of naked skin against you. Maximize contact along your bodies, from head to toe.
  • Petting. Don’t just cop a feel! Husbands, let your hands wander along the side and front of your wife’s body. Lick and kiss her neck and upper back — this is sure to make her purr.
  • Reach around. Spooning sex doesn’t naturally provide much/any clitoral stimulation for the wife, but if that’s desired the husband can reach around and use his hand or a vibrator.
  • Third trimester. Spooning can be a great position for sex when the wife is in her third trimester. Her belly can be easily supported by the bed or a pillow, and there isn’t a lot of movement to strain her.

So there you have it, spoon in good health! Do you have any great spooning tips to share?

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