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In addition to El Fury’s post about the Master Bedroom being the Sex Room, I wanted to add a few other thoughts. There are other ways in which we make this room our Sex Room.

Having nightstands with drawers gives us a lot of concealed storage for various sex props. We keep a lot of toys, fun books, lube, etc. in our nightstands. It’s nice to have these things readily accessible in the heat of the moment.

I think our bedroom looks sexy too. We picked out the bedding and the furniture together, so it’s our room. We try to keep it tidy too, so at least for me, when I walk into our bedroom I don’t think about what I need to do to clean it up. I think about what I want to do, or about what I liked doing.

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I’ve heard that for most women, sex starts long before sex actually starts. There are two things that definitely make me anticipate sexy time with El Fury more.

  1. Flirting. I absolutely love it when my husband flirts with me. It makes me feel like I did when we are first dating. I get all giggly and melty. It doesn’t take much effort, but it makes the mood of whatever we are doing that much better. Little things like a wink, a pat on the rear or playful banter help us make small connections during the day that turn me on for alone time later.
  2. Conversation. I love talking to my husband. Especially when I can get lost in our conversation. Most of the time it is easy to get caught up in talking about schedules, tasks, the kids. That’s part of the business of having a family. But, it’s important to talk about other things! We try to find interesting things to talk about that make the conversation exciting. El Fury and I listen to podcasts, or talk about books we are reading. Even if we only get to talk while exercising or going somewhere in the car, it’s very sexy to be interested or to feel interesting.

Foreplay doesn’t have to be physical to get you in the mood. What do other spouses do to connect outside the bedroom?

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Sexy Corte and I have a lot of married friends who are shocked and surprised when they learn that we always lock our bedroom door at night. It seems that most of our peers not only keep their doors unlocked, but often sleep with their doors open or with their kids in the sex bed!

This is wrong. How are you going to get it on when kids can burst in any any time? Or when kids are in bed with you? The master bedroom is a place of intimacy, privacy, and sexual abandon!  It’s your pleasure garden. The kids need to be kept out.

You need to think of your master bedroom as the sex room. Sure, you should have sex all over the house when possible, but if you have kids then most of the time you’ll be getting it on in your sex room. Your bed is the sex bed. In the sex room, sex can happen at any time. The sex bed is for doing dirty deeds with your spouse, not cuddling your kids.

Your kids should rarely enter the sex room, and certainly not without permission. If you’re in the sex room, you should be either preparing to have sex, actually having sex, or half-conscious from amazing sex. (Or asleep, I guess.) You don’t want your kids walking in on that, do you?

Most of sex is mental and emotional, not physical. If you think of your bedroom as your sex room, guess what? Your mind and emotions will shift to make it true. Guard your intimacy and your privacy with your spouse, because if you don’t respect them then your kids certainly won’t.

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We recently went through a marriage class at our church that focuses on 7 areas of marriage and how to improve each area. These are topics such as communication, money, conflict, etc. Surprisingly, we found the topic of sexual intimacy to be the best. We have found that this topic in Christian circles can be awkward or only lightly touched on. We were excited to come away from this meeting with lots of good thoughts to discuss. Here are some of the key points:

  • Sex is a gift from God to be experienced inside of marriage. It is meant for physical and emotional pleasure.
  • Men and women are different. We have different drives, different ways of being aroused, different needs. Be a student of your spouse. Learn what each other likes! Talk about it, pay attention to their response in the bedroom, show each other.
  • Communicate about sex! The more you talk about sex with each other, the easier it is to talk about. Praise on another when they do something right. Keep changing and growing. There are lots of ways to spice things up, be open to trying new things!
  • Guard your sex life! Make it a priority.
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