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We’ve got a lot of sex toys, and we’ve tried them all.

If this podcast is a blessing to you, please leave us a 5-star review on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Sex Toys on the blog: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/category/toys/

Vibrators: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/tag/vibrator/

Intro to Shibari, Japanese Rope Bondage: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/techniques/intro-to-shibari-japanese-rope-bondage/

Bondage for Beginners: What, Why, and How: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/mental-techniques/bondage-for-beginners-what-why-and-how/

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 31:35 — 32.1MB)

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Hands-Free Vibrator in Doggy Style 1

We use a vibrator when we have sex to help Sexy Corte reach orgasm easily and reliably, but this ties up one of my hands and limits our range of positions — what to do? Well, we’ve finally found a solution, at least for one position!

When we have sex, Sexy Corte typically starts on top and rides me while I use an egg vibrator on her clitoris until she has one or more orgasms. This is the easiest position for her to climax and we use it 90% of the time. One of the reasons this position has worked so well for us is that it’s comfortable for me to hold the vibrator against her and it’s comfortable for both of us for her to straddle me. Unlike most of the sex positions you’ll find online, we can actually hold this position until Sexy Corte orgasms!

This usual approach works very well, but we enjoy trying new things and I’ve wanted to find some way to comfortably reach Sexy Corte with a vibrator in another position — and even better would be finding a way to free up my hands for other activities. So here’s what we’re experimenting with right now.

We’ve written a lot about the doggy style position, and now we’ve found a couple of toys that can help Sexy Corte reach orgasm in this position while keeping my hands free! The first is an inflatable tube-shaped bolster pillow with a mysterious hole built into it. What’s the hole for? The item description doesn’t say. It could be for anything… your remote control, your tiny drink… who knows?

Hands-Free Vibrator in Doggy Style 2
Inflatable bolster pillow with mysterious hole visible near the far end of the pillow.

Well, we found the perfect thing to stick in the hole: our wand vibrator.

Hands-Free Vibrator in Doggy Style 3
A simple wand vibrator.

The process is simple:

  • Turn the wand vibrator on and push the handle down into the hole on the pillow. The hole is tight enough to hold the vibrator securely in position.
  • Turn the pillow so the head of the vibrator is sticking out and pointing up.
  • Wife straddles the pillow so the vibrator is on her clitoris, and bends over into the doggy style position.
  • Wife rests her body on the pillow and rubs against the vibrator while husband enters her from behind.

We’re still experimenting with this new hands-free vibrator position — we aren’t used to the position yet so Sexy Corte takes longer to climax and I have trouble holding my orgasm back! Obviously we need a lot more practice.

Now that we’ve found a hands-free way to use a vibrator there must be a ton of other positions to try it in. Do you have any suggestions? Have you found any other ways to use a vibrator hands-free? Let us know in the comments.

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The Standing O-vation: Orgasm While Standing Up 4

This sex activity makes the wife the center of attention, while also requiring her energy and focus to make the most of the experience. Even though the husband will be doing most of the active work, the wife will be in a position that is likely unfamiliar to her, which might make it harder for her to reach orgasm. We recommend trying this position when you have plenty of time and energy to devote to it.

(For the purposes of description we’re going to have the wife in the receiving, submissive role and the husband in the giving, dominant role — but feel free to swap roles and have the wife give pleasure to her husband instead!)

We recommend a few bondage implements to make this work, but you can improvise or omit elements that aren’t appealing to you.

  • Handcuffs. We like the fuzzy, comfy kind that are easy to slip off if required.
  • Load-bearing attachment point. You need a sturdy attachment point that’s higher than the wife’s head. A doorway chin-up bar can work, or you can screw a garage hook into a joist in your ceiling. Make sure that whatever you use is the right height and strong enough for the wife to pull on.
  • Vibrator. We recommend a wand vibrator for this activity, but use whatever will be most effective for the wife. This position is already challenging enough, so use her favorite vibrator!
  • Lube. This activity can take a while, so make sure the wife is sufficiently lubricated. Keep it handy so you can re-apply it as necessary.
  • Blindfold. Helps to focus the wife’s mind.
  • Spreader bar. Keeps the wife’s legs apart during intense stimulation.
The Standing O-vation: Orgasm While Standing Up 5

Husband: prepare everything beforehand so your wife isn’t waiting around!

When you’re both naked and ready, here’s what to do.

  1. Turn up the heat so the wife doesn’t get cold.
  2. Put on some sexy music. This activity will benefit from a lack of talking, and music will help the wife attain the required frame of mind.
  3. Cuff the wife’s hands over her head.
  4. Connect the cuffs to your attachment point — don’t make this too high! Her shoulders will be lower than normal once her legs are spread, so ideally her cuffed hands will be right above her head.
  5. Put her ankles in the spreader bar. This will open her up, and also begin to put some strain on her legs. Despite the picture at the top of this post, the wife shouldn’t be on her tip-toes unless she’s really up for a challenge.
  6. Give her a kiss and put the blindfold over her eyes.

Wife: Allow yourself to relax; allow your mind to let go and focus on the sensations in your body; fall into a meditative, dissociative state; take deep breaths; try not to talk; convey your pleasure without words. Your only responsibilities are to enjoy the focused attention from your husband and to open yourself up to an orgasm.

Husband: Now that the wife is suspended and bound, it’s time to begin focusing on her pleasure. Husband, let your imagination run wild as you touch and kiss your wife. Your goal isn’t to bring her to climax as fast as possible, but rather to explore every inch of her body and lead her to an intensely pleasurable orgasm over a prolonged period of time. Here are some ideas for what you can do with her, spending one to two minutes on an activity before switching to another.

  • Intermittent vibration. Use the vibrator on your wife intermittently for one to two minutes at a time, and then remove it. Alternate between the vibrator and the other activities in this list. Gradually increase time with the vibrator and bring your wife to the edge of orgasm without letting her go over until you’re ready.
  • Kiss her all over. And don’t forget to kiss her lips!
  • Perform oral sex on her. With her legs spread it should be easy to reach her lady bits. You’ll probably want to focus on this before applying lube — unless you have some flavored lube!
  • Finger massage. Press the tips of your fingers into her skin and drag them across the surfaces of her body. Spend a while with medium finger pressure, then come back to this activity later with feather-light pressure.
  • Tickle her. Sexy Corte really dislikes tickling, but maybe your wife will enjoy it!
  • Rub her clitoris. Use the Zoom Technique or another pattern. You can come back to this activity as many times as you want.
  • Rub her g-spot. Curl your fingers and reach inside her to stimulate her g-spot. Doing this while using the vibrator is sure to drive her crazy.
  • Enter her vagina with your fingers or penis. Tease the opening of her vulva and work towards deeper penetrations on subsequent visits to this activity.
  • Lick or tease her nipples.
  • Spank her. You should probably ask if she’s up for this before you surprise her with a spanking while she’s blindfolded!
  • Rub her thighs. Her thighs will be stressed because of her suspended position, so there will be extra blood-flow to the region; it will feel relieving and comforting if you massage her inner and outer thighs.
  • Play with her anus. Use a lubricated finger to stimulate her anus. (Be sure to wash your finger off before touching another part of her body with it.)
  • Hug her. Envelop her body in your arms. Nuzzle her neck with your face. Squeeze her tight.
  • Talk dirty to her. Whisper sexy fantasies into her ear. Tell her what you’re going to do to her next. Tell her what you want her to do to you. You can do this while you’re applying the vibrator as well.
  • Put your fingers in her mouth. Have her pretend she’s performing oral sex on your fingers.
  • Make her beg for an orgasm. Before you let her climax, make her beg for it. Don’t make her guess what to say — tell her what to say.

When you’re ready for your wife to orgasm you’ll both have to ascertain if she will be able to climax while standing in this position. The husband shouldn’t push her into it, but the wife should give it her best effort. If it’s just not going to happen, release the wife from the spreader bar; leave the cuffs and blindfold on, while removing the cuffs from the attachment point. Husband, guide your wife down onto the bed and into whatever position is best for her to orgasm. Do whatever you have to do to fulfill the the promise you made her body!

After you’re both done, remove all the bondage stuff and cuddle for a while. When the time is right, you can talk about what you each liked or didn’t like about the activity, and what you would change if you ever do it again.

As a final note: you can also use this activity as an element of a sexual role-playing scenario like Professor and Student or Bratty Wife. It also works well in a scenario where one of you has been “captured” as a pirate, spy, prisoner, etc.

Do you have any suggestions for other activities to do in this standing o-vation position? Leave a comment!

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Using a Wireless Bullet Vibrator in Public and Private 6

Our Sensuelle Wireless Bullet vibrator finally bit the dust a few days ago after almost a year of thrice-weekly use. You may remember that we originally bought this vibrator for Sexy Corte to wear in public with my finger on the button, and it was great for that purpose! However, the vibrator was so good that it became our go-to toy almost every time Sexy Corte wanted an orgasm. (We don’t use affiliate links or anything like that, but you can easily find the product on Amazon or many other websites.)

The most common way we used the bullet was with SC on top and the bullet wedged between us, up against her clitoris. Sexy Corte doesn’t have orgasms from penetration alone (75% of women don’t) and the vibrator has been a fantastic tool for bringing her to climax while I’m inside her. We had previously used an egg vibrator for the same purpose, but the wire kept getting pulled and tangled when we moved — even pulling off once, breaking the ($10) vibrator and the mood! It’s much easier to put the wireless vibrator in position and then do our thing without distraction. I’m able to use the remote to change settings whenever desired, and then put it out of the way when we’re ready to climax.

We’ve written about how to use a wand vibrator, and wands are great for many activities, but they’re just too big for face-to-face intimacy. (And certainly too big to hide in your panties!)

The bullet we bought has ten different vibration patterns, but for the most part we never used anything but the simple low, medium, and high settings. The other seven patterns were fun to play with in public to tease SC, but they weren’t effective for actually bringing her to orgasm. Extra patterns are a feature that’s cheap for manufacturers to add to a product so you’ll probably see them on every wireless vibrator, but I wouldn’t pick a vibrator based on their presence or absence.

Is it strong enough? This is the most common question asked by shoppers and reviewers. Vibration strength is an advantage that wired vibrators have over wireless (because of larger batteries or being plugged into the wall) and it’s a property that’s very hard to quantify. Every vibrator is different, and every woman is different. This wireless bullet is weaker than the wired egg we were used to, and at first Sexy Corte was concerned that the highest power setting wouldn’t be enough for her. However, she did reach orgasm the first time we used it and every time since. It seems that a woman can adapt to a lower level of stimulation over time, even if it doesn’t meet her expectations at first.

How long do the batteries last? We always put the vibrator on the charger between uses, and it always had plenty of power and duration for our encounters. The only times we ran the battery out were when we used it in public, and in those cases we got about 40 minutes of continuous vibration time (spread out over the whole date). It would be fantastic if the batteries lasted longer, but 40 minutes is pretty respectable.

Durability: I estimate that we got about 150 orgasms from the vibrator over the course of a year — maybe 3500 minutes of use. That’s a very rough estimate, of course, but it’s in the ballpark. At a price of $30 for the vibrator, that’s only $0.20 per orgasm. The vibrator worked perfectly until it failed — the power suddenly dropped while we were using it, and then it kicked on and off randomly when we shook the device. (A wire probably came loose inside, but fixing it myself would be more trouble than it was worth.)

Final thoughts: Even if you have other toys, you should get a wireless bullet vibrator. They’re super fun, and they enable very intimate face-to-face orgasms. The Sensuelle Wireless Bullet is a solid product, and we ordered another one immediately. Just writing about it makes me eager to use the new one in public on our next date night!

(We don’t make any money from this site, and have never received any free products to review from anyone.)

Do you use a wireless or wired vibrator? In public? In private? Share your experiences in the comments.

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Wand Vibrator And Fingertip Technique 7

It’s amazing that God created our bodies in such an intricate way that no matter how old you are, or how long you have been married, you can still discover something new about yourself. El Fury and I have had a lot of fun doing trivia nights, and during one of these EF was playing around and we discovered something that drove me absolutely wild. Our go-to vibrator is the egg vibrator, but sometimes it’s nice to have a long, slow burn. The wand vibrator is great for this, especially during something like a trivia night where you are engaged in sexual play for a while. EF keeps the wand vibrator on me throughout the session and it builds my arousal slowly. Then, after I am highly aroused, he introduces his other hand and teases me. He doesn’t ever penetrate me, but just dances around the edges. It’s maddening! Also exciting and gets me to a point where I am begging for him. Then, he escalates it by doing the same thing with the tip of his penis. I had no idea something could drive me so crazy!

Husbands, do this for your wife. Wives, ask your husband to do this.

Enjoy each other. Discover your spouse’s body. Always be learning.

(See also: Zoom Technique.)

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How to Use Wand Vibrators 8

Sexy Corte has written about egg vibrators previously, and they’re definitely our most-used sex toys. However, egg vibrators aren’t ideal for every situation! Sometimes the little egg just doesn’t give you enough to hold on to, and in those situations you need to have a wand vibrator handy. There are a lot of different brands, but really only three key features that we’ve come across:

  • Rechargable. Get a model with a built-in rechargeable battery. Plug-in vibrators never run out of power, but the cords just get in the way when you’re using them.
  • Variable power. Every model we’ve seen has a variable power setting, but make sure you don’t buy one without.
  • Standard size head. Check the size of the massaging head and make sure it matches the “standard” size of the Hitachi Magic Wand. Hitachi doesn’t even make the Magic Wand “massager” anymore, but all the vibrator accessories you’ll find will be sized to fit this classic sex toy.

Here are some tips for getting the most out of your wand vibrator.

  • Reach. A wand vibrator can be used in positions that don’t work with an egg, like doggy style. It’s hard for the husband to reach all the way around to keep an egg in place, but with a wand vibrator the wife can hold it in place herself. Any sort of rear penetration position can benefit from the enhanced reach of a wand vibrator.
  • Duration and diffusion. The head of a wand vibrator is a lot larger than an egg vibrator, which can be good or bad. It’s bad if the wife needs focused power on her clitoris to reach orgasm, because the wand vibrator may not be direct enough even if it’s powerful. However, for teasing games or bondage sessions that are intended to last a while, the larger vibration area of the wand head can be less intense and more pleasant.
  • Accessories. There are a ton of accessories for “standard” wand vibrators! Some of them look quite… alien… but there’s certainly no lack of variety to explore.

wand vibrator accessories 1

wand vibrator accessories 2There are even accessories for husbands!

wand vibrator accessories 3

 

So even if you have an egg vibrator, a wand vibrator is a completely different toy and well worth picking up. If you’ve got any questions, tips, or recommendations please leave them in the comments!

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