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Sex Q&A: Aroused While Sharing a Hotel Room with Friends 1

Wife “NN” writes:

I had a very uncomfortable situation recently. My husband and I went for a weekend away with our really good friends, and we decided to save some money by sharing a hotel room. We made a rule: no sex while both couples are in the room. We agreed we would give each other time alone during the trip. Anyway, the first night we go out and we all get pretty drunk, especially my husband. That night, I woke up in the middle of the night and I could hear our friends whispering. I peeked out from under my covers and could not believe my eyes. They were clearly having sex.

At this point, my husband was completely passed out and I pretended to be sleeping. My girlfriend was trying to be quiet but I could clearly hear her moaning. I must have dozed off again, and when I opened my eyes my girlfriend was facing me and her husband was spooning her. What was worse was the blanket was off and her legs were open and I could see everything, including his penis going in and out of her vagina. I had no idea what to do so I pretended to sleep, and this continued for a hour or more. In the morning my husband was oblivious to what I witnessed, and he went to the gym. I went to the bathroom and when I came out my girlfriend was standing completely naked in front of me and hugged me. I am so embarrassed. I want to tell my husband but he will just laugh. Along with all this embarrassment, I really got turned on by watching them and I’m not sure what to do. Help?

This does sound like an awkward situation. I think it’s ok to talk to both your friend and your husband about it. It’s good to have boundaries, and it sounds like your friends crossed yours. You don’t have to dwell on what happened, but acknowledging it can clear the air and then you can move on in your relationship. If it’s still bothering you after some times has passed, talking about it with your husband and laughing together might help you move on.

As for being aroused, I don’t think you need to feel bad about it. Your body responded to what it was seeing. If your mind is dwelling on it, try to turn your thoughts towards your husband and your sex life with him. We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can use every experience in life for God’s glory.

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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Outdoor Sex in a Hammock 2

We recently returned from vacation and I’m happy to report that Sexy Corte had two orgasms while we were away from home and sharing a building with a ton of extended family. Yay us!

Today we’re excited to share a great idea from a reader who wants to be identified only as “JH”: how to use a hammock as portable outdoor sex furniture.

So I’m a regular reader of your blog and listener to the podcast, but I don’t think that I’ve ever written in. With the growing popularity of hammocking, I thought that might be a great topic for a blog post.

It seems to me that a hammock would be the ideal piece of outdoor sex furniture (with definite indoor possibilities as well). Here are a few of their advantages:

A) inexpensive
B) lightweight
C) portable
D) easy to wash
E) height adjustable
F) typically capable of supporting the weight of a husband and wife together
G) compact – easy to store and conceal
H) typically equipped with their own attached pouch for self storage, which could also be used for carrying and concealing accoutrements such as lube

I’m sure that you can think of others, but here are a few of the position ideas that I came up with:

1) Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) – wife in hammock with husband straddling her
2) rear entry: wife kneels in hammock sideways
3) oral: One spouse lays in the hammock, while the other straddles at head level
4) wife on top: husband lays in the hammock and the wife straddles him.
5) rear entry: husband sits in hammock sideways on the edge and wife bends over in front of him – great for using that swinging motion! (Husband can also lie back with his legs up in the air or on his wife’s back/shoulders – great for a different angle/pressure.)
6) oral: One spouse kneels (or sits… Or stands… Remember, height is adjustable) at the side of the hammock, and the other lays in it sideways and drapes his/her legs over the kneeling spouse’s shoulders.
7) analingus: same as above, but (pun intended) with one spouse kneeling sideways in the hammock, derrière extended out over the side.
8) spooning with the wife on top (aka “the princess and the penis”): both lie in the hammock – traditional or sideways – the wife climbing in on top of the husband.
9) fellatio: wife lies in the hammock with her head turned to the side, husband stands beside her head.

Those are some great ideas, and I’m going to order a hammock right away to keep in the van. Have you ever had sex in a hammock? Got any tips to share? Leave a comment below!

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Sex Under the Stars 3

Sexy Corte and I just had an awesome experience: sex outside at night under the Perseid Meteor Shower. We were watching the meteors with the kids for a while, but eventually they went inside for bed and we were left alone on a blanket under the stars. We had two firsts: first time to be completely naked outside, and first time for Sexy Corte to have an orgasm outside! It was amazing. What will always stick with me is the image of my lovely wife on top of me, silhouetted against the starry sky, with meteors flashing around her naked body as she climaxed.

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Would You Have Sex With Your Time-Traveling Spouse? 4

You’re on your honeymoon having a great time, and your spouse decides to go for a run on the beach for an hour or so.

You hear a knock at the door. When you crack it open, you see your spouse standing there, wearing different clothes and looking slightly off.

Your spouse says, “Hello! I know this is hard to believe, but the reason I look a little strange is that I’m 10 years older and I traveled back in time. I’ve got important time traveler business to take care of, but I wanted to drop in and see you. I knew that present-me would be out on a run right now. In the future our marriage is awesome and everything turns out great for us. I really shouldn’t tell you too many details — you understand.”

You aren’t sure how to respond, but you know your spouse is telling the truth.

Your spouse continues: “Well, we’ve got almost an hour. You look great. You can’t tell present-me about any of this when I come back from my run, but don’t worry… I’ll be thrilled about this encounter in 10 years when I come up with the idea… and I’ve learned a few techniques that present-me won’t figure out for a while. Want to have sex?”

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Best Christian Sex Links of the Week 5

It’s (past) time for another roundup of Christian sex links! Check out these blogs, we’re sure you’ll find something you like.

Your wife doesn’t always know when she’s aroused — Her indications of arousal aren’t as obvious (to either of you) as is a husband’s erection!

Several links about initiating sex:

Wives, don’t be afraid of your husband’s manhood!

How to have “vacation sex” when you’re not on vacation — Be prepared and bring your own lock when you’re actually on vacation!

Your husband needs a girlfriend — Hint: it’s you!

Ten minutes and lube — Quickies alone don’t make a great sex life.

Talk about sex outside the bedroom — Interesting advice for preserving the tranquility of your sex room.

Submission and headship, with handy four-quadrant diagrams — Definitely hard concepts to understand in our modern culture.

“When I orgasm, I shake all over” — Intense, uncontrollable sexual responsiveness from the wife is really hot.

Memorable first thrust technique — “Many women, once aroused and full of anticipation for intercourse, consider the first thrust to be their favorite part of intercourse.”

Don’t miss the good part of her cycle — It’s something we’ve started planning around!

Take advantage of every opportunity to talk with your kids about sex — “When our kids are curious and comfortable talking about sex, we think they are too young and by the time we think we should talk to them about sex, they are embarrassed.”

Three posts with wedding night tips for virgin brides: “What do I do?”, making the mental leap from “no” to “yes”, and “how to I avoid pain?” — Also great for new husbands to read.

Is your spouse really showing you all of his or her sexuality? — Fear/avoidance of rejection is common, even in marriage. How can you assure your spouse that he or she can really share any desire with you?

Erotic wisdom in Proverbs 5 — Hint: “fountains”, “wells”, and “cisterns” are symbolism.

If you have any links you want to share, leave them in the comments!

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Portable Door Locks Create Privacy While Traveling 6

If you spend the night with family while vacationing then you may have encountered a frustrating situation: doors with no locks! It’s hard to have sexy time if you’re worried that your kids or family will burst in on you at any moment, but c’mon, you can’t skip sex just because you’re traveling! Fortunately for all of us, there are several kinds of portable locks that can be easily mounted onto any inward-opening door. The best one I’ve found is the Addalock (pictured above).

  • Discrete: No one on the other side of the door can tell you’re using one.
  • Portable: Weighs less than a pound and fits easily into a suitcase.
  • Effective: The door cannot be opened with the lock installed — short of breaking it down with an ax.

Here’s a longer post about preparing for sex on vacation. Have you got any tips for improving sexy time while traveling?

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Sex On Vacation: Be Prepared 7

The holidays are hectic, and doubly so if you’re going on vacation — maybe triple if you’re going to visit family. With everything going on at the last minute before you walk out the door, sex may be the last thing on your mind… but you’re not going to abstain while you’re gone, are you? Are you? I sure hope not. Travel sex is some of the best sex, but take a few minutes to get prepared before you leave.

A lot depends on where you’ll be staying. If it’s just you and your spouse staying at a hotel, the preparation will be a lot easier than if you’re sharing a room with your kids in your parents’ basement. Here’s a checklist to help you out:

  • Set expectations. Hopefully you’re both expecting to make love on your trip, but when and where? If the babies wake up at the crack of dawn, you may need to retire early to have some time together before you go to sleep. If the kids nap, then maybe you can grab a quickie in the afternoon. If your family stays up till midnight watching movies, you may try to rise early together. If you don’t make a plan, you may end up with one horny spouse expecting some lovin’ at midnight while the other collapses into bed exhausted. In addition to the timing, figure out where you can have sex, and for how long. The wife will probably need more time, comfort, and privacy to have an orgasm than her husband will, so husbands, don’t just plan on quickies for the whole trip and leave her frustrated.
  • Lube. It may not be absolutely necessary, but it will probably make the wife’s orgasm a lot easier. If you’re in a pinch, you might be able to borrow some lotion from your family for your “dry hands”.
  • Sex rags. Bring a few of your own washcloths in your suitcase to clean up after sex. If you’re staying at a hotel this probably isn’t an issue, but do you want your mother-in-law grossing out when she does the laundry after you leave?
  • Sex toys. These will definitely depend on your circumstances. It might be hard to use a vibrator while your kids sleep on the floor next to your bed and your parents are a foot away on the other side of the wall. However, in situations like these you might need to have sex in places other than your sleeping area anyway, and that means that a vibrator might come in very handy to get her off quickly. If you’re doing it in the bathroom you can cover the noise with the exhaust fan. If you “drive to the store” a vibrator can really help in the confines of a car. Speed is often important during family vacation sex, so don’t forget your vibrator. Important tip: take the batteries out before you pack it… otherwise it might turn itself on in your suitcase. That’s fun to explain when your family notices!
  • Portable door lock. Finding privacy can be hard, especially if you’re staying with family and their doors don’t lock.
  • Just do it! When you’re on vacation don’t make excuses, make opportunities!

Do you have any tips for vacation sex? How do you prepare?

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Hotel Sex While Sharing a Room With Your Kids 8

Staying in a hotel is great! But less fun if you’re sharing a room with your kids. Fortunately if your kids are young you can still get in some adult activities after they fall asleep or in the middle of the night. Obviously you don’t want to disturb your precious little ones as they slumber, but you can’t be expected to keep your hands off each other for the whole trip, right?!

This isn’t rocket science, but here are a few tips for having sex while you’re sharing a hotel room with your kids.

  • Be quiet. Well duh. Bite your lips, and stifle your moans into your spouse’s neck.
  • Two queen beds. Obviously you don’t want to share a king bed with your kids while you’re getting it on.
  • Darkness is your friend. Turn off all the lights and close the curtains. Most hotel rooms can be made very dark, so do it. That way if the kids do hear something at least they won’t see anything.
  • Turn the temperature down as cold as possible. This keeps the fan going (to cover any noise you make) and it also keeps you comfortable while you’re writhing around under the covers.
  • Missionary position is good because you can do it under the covers and the movements required are pretty minimal. Girl-on-top positions will be much harder to conceal.
  • Or you can always do it in the shower with the door closed!

Unfortunately the need for stealth may make it hard for the wife to orgasm. Obviously this will depend on the woman, and if you have any tips for getting her off silently then please share them in the comments.

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Shower Sex 9

In general, we aren’t big fans of sex in the shower. It is often a cramped space, so finding the right position is difficult. I am not a flexible person, so we are pretty limited. Also, even though it’s really wet, it’s not the right kind of wet. (side note: if you do enjoy sex in the shower, we found a lube called Gun Oil works great.) In most cases, we use the shower for foreplay.

There are, however, certain occasions when the shower comes in really handy. On our last trip to visit family, we were having a hard time getting in our normal sexy time. Between sleeping on a twin bed and twin air mattress, the thin walls, and all the people around, it was not exactly an environment conducive to bedroom activities.

As we were getting ready, El Fury hopped in the shower with me. We were discussing our frustrations and realized we had an opportunity right then and there. The door was locked, the fan and shower muffled the noise, we were both already naked. I bent over and we did it. The spontaneity of it made it really hot too!

Shower sex is great in the right situation. But, I still prefer it on dry land.

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