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We get this question from readers a lot, so here are a few techniques for delaying the husband’s orgasm. Every man is different, so what works for one may not work for another. These ideas are also no substitute for talking with your doctor if you think you may have a medical issue.

  • Have an orgasm earlier in the day. Enlist your wife’s help in the morning so that you can last longer in the evening for her benefit.
  • Shallower penetration. In general, the the more surface area of your penis is being stimulated the faster you’ll climax. Control depth to control orgasm. Focusing on just the head of the penis will maintain stimulation but probably make it much harder to climax.
  • Reduce visual stimulation. Men tend to be visual creatures. The more you can see of your wife and the actual penetration the harder it will be to delay orgasm. Same goes for auditory stimulation. Reduce these stimulants to avoid going over the edge.
  • Switch to a different position. Changing positions can be enough to slow things down and give you a chance to back off from your orgasm. If you need to, switch to a less comfortable position (for you) — for example, if you’re used to lying down, try a standing or kneeling position instead. (Assuming you want your wife to climax first, keep her comfy!)
  • Gently tug on the balls. The husband or wife can wrap a hand around the husband’s balls and gently pull them away from his body. Depending on your position his balls can be hard to reach, but this works well in positions other than face-to-face, like doggy style and oral.
  • Think unsexy thoughts. This doesn’t work very well for me, but it seems like the #1 suggestion from others.
  • Train yourself to be aroused by your wife’s orgasms. I’m not exactly sure how I’ve accomplished this… I’ll need to think about it and write another blog post. I can hold off my orgasm for a long time until Sexy Corte has hers — and then I fall off the cliff. I think I’ve conditioned myself to have an orgasm in response to hers.

Do you have any other tips for delaying the husband’s orgasm? Leave a comment and share your wisdom.

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Sexy Corte prefers to have an orgasm while she’s on top of me and we’re using a vibrator wedged between us. This cowgirl position puts her in control of most of our body motion (because I’m flat on my back) and lets me control of the vibrator. This position usually works very well for us… unless I start having trouble holding back my own orgasm. It’s less fun for everyone if I have an orgasm before she does, so I’ve learned a few techniques for controlling the depth of penetration while we’re in cowgirl position. There are many reasons to play with shallow penetration, and shallow penetration will usually help the husband hold off his orgasm longer than deep penetration.

Here are a few techniques the husband can use to control depth of penetration in the cowgirl position.

  • Lift her up by the butt. I love my wife’s butt, so my hands are often there already when she’s in cowgirl. To control depth, I’ll use my hands to hold her up and prevent her from pushing all the way down on to me. This is extra fun when it makes Sexy Corte moan in frustration while she’s trying hard to push me deeper inside.
  • Lift my leg(s) to raise her seat. Instead of leaving my legs flat on the bed, I will pull one or both of my knees up slightly to elevate my thighs. My thighs act like a seat for Sexy Corte to sit on, and the higher I lift my thighs the shallower penetration we’ll get. This technique requires less strength than lifting her butt with my hands and can be maintained indefinitely. I’ll often raise and lower my thighs several times while my wife is riding me to control the depth of penetration and hold off my own orgasm.
  • Pull her chest down to yours. Pulling your chests together will automatically reduce the depth of penetration as her pelvis rotates. Feeling your wife’s breasts against you is an added bonus!
  • Pull down on her hips. If I want to go deeper I’ll grab Sexy Corte’s hips and pull her down while I arch my back and push up into her. As you can imagine this doesn’t usually make me last longer, and I won’t do this if I’m struggling to avoid orgasm. This maneuver will often elicit a sexy moan from my wife!

And if you’re in cowgirl, here’s a post with some ideas for what to do with your hands.

Do you have any wife-on-top techniques to share? Leave a comment and let us know!

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OMGYes has released a Pleasure Report that describes four penetration techniques that are reported to be the most pleasurable for most women.

“We asked thousands of women what they do to experience more pleasure from penetrative sex and found there are four techniques that work for most women,” says sexual and reproductive health scientist, Christiana von Hippel.

Dubbed Angling, Rocking, Shallowing, and Pairing, they stand out from suggestions provided by other scientific studies that tend to scaffold pleasure around specific sexual acts, or the involvement of specific objects or body parts.

Sounds super-scientific! I bet these techniques are going to blow our minds.

For example, 87.5 percent of the respondents claimed Angling did it for them – rotating or elevating the pelvis just right to find a position where the toy, penis, or digits touch just right.

So… find the most pleasurable angle for penetration. Genius.

Around three quarters of those surveyed advocated Rocking, an action defined by movements that help the base of the penis or toy rub consistently against the clitoris during penetration.

Stimulate the clitoris. Wow, thanks science!

About 84 percent of those in the study enjoy a penetrative touch towards the outside of the vagina, dubbed Shallowing.

Ok, Shallowing might be a little less obvious that the first two ideas. We wrote about this technique here: When It Goes In — Shallow Penetration. Most of the nerve endings in the vagina are near the entrance, so it can feel pretty great for the husband to slide the head of his penis in and out at a shallow depth — and it might help the husband delay his own orgasm longer if the full shaft of his penis isn’t being stimulated.

Lastly, there’s also Pairing activity: Just under 70 percent of survey participants claimed they thoroughly enjoyed having their clitoris stimulated with a toy or finger while being penetrated.

Pairing might seem obvious, but it actually took me and Sexy Corte about a year to figure it out after we got married. Now, our go-to position when she wants an orgasm is for her to sit on top of me while I hold an egg vibrator wedged between us against her clitoris. She is practicing to orgasm in other positions, but this is the easiest for her by far.

Research like this can be valuable for guiding sexual exploration in your marriage, but in the end each couple will need to discover what feels good to them. Play around and try new things! You never know what you might like until you try it.

Were there any sexual techniques that took you a while to discover? Leave us a comment and help out the rest of us!

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We’ve written about how make the most of the size you’ve got, but today we’ll discuss how deeper isn’t always better. Shallow penetration is a fun rest-stop between foreplay/outercourse and deeper sex, so don’t speed past without checking it out. There are lots of ways to have fun with shallow penetration, and even some definite advantages.

  • That feeling when it goes in: The moment of initial penetration is amazingly intimate, physically and emotionally! We call it “burrowing in” when I’m on top, and I use tiny thrusts to gradually work my way inside. The feeling of my wife’s body softly yielding to my penis is indescribable. With shallow penetration, you can keep repeating this experience over and over.
  • Where the nerves are: 90% of the nerves in the vagina are in the first one-third of the depth. Similarly, the head of the penis has more nerves and denser receptive fields than the shaft. (The head of the penis has about the name number of nerves as the clitoris.)
  • Last longer: Stimulation on the head of the penis feels great, but it often isn’t enough to lead to a quick orgasm. Orgasm tends to be accelerated by squeezing pressure around the shaft, especially towards the base. Shallow penetration that focuses stimulation near the head can be a useful technique for delaying orgasm.
  • Reach her clitoris: When your bodies aren’t mashed together it’s easier for the husband to reach his  wife’s clitoris with his thumb or a vibrator. Shallow penetration leaves enough space for the husband to drive his wife crazy!
  • More possible positions: There are a lot of positions that just don’t lend themselves to deep penetration, mostly because your pesky legs get in the way. You’ll enjoy that crazy new position more once you realize that you don’t have to finish that way — you can transition to a more traditional position to achieve orgasm.

So what are some ways to enjoy shallow penetration?

  • Shallow thrusts near the vaginal opening are a great way to edge, and will eventually drive you both crazy. Who can stand it the longest? Make her beg for it!
  • In and out: While thrusting or riding, let the penis withdraw completely from the vagina, letting the head nestle just between the vaginal lips. Let the head slip in and out, repeatedly recreating the feeling of initial penetration.
  • Explore the territory outside the wife’s vagina. Use lube if necessary and rub the husband’s penis around her clitoris, lips, and inner thighs. Great motivation to shave your vulva and penis/balls.
  • With the wife on top she can rub her lips and clitoris over and around her husband’s penis, stimulating herself and the husband’s shaft and frenulum in between bits of short and shallow penetration. The wife can also gyrate her hips with just the head of her husband’s penis inside her, giving him a unique form of stimulation.
  • Use your hand to stimulate your wife’s clitoris while thrusting. Alternatively, in doggy style the wife can stimulate herself while the husband focuses on varying his thrusts to build up the tension.
  • Surprise deep thrusts: Whoever is on top can throw in a nice, hard, deep thrust every once in a while just to change things up, and enjoy the gasps of pleasure from their spouse.
  • Grab her hips: Even when the husband is on bottom, he can grab his wife’s hips or butt to hold her up and control the depth of penetration. If you love to hear your wife moan in desperation, keep her shallow when she’s expecting deep and you’ll get it! Just make sure your timing doesn’t ruin her escalation to orgasm.

What do you do to enjoy shallow penetration in your sex life? Leave a comment and let us know!

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