Sexy Corte and I are thinking about getting a new mattress, so I’ve been doing some internet research. Obviously we want to get a good night’s sleep, but since 90% of our sex is done in bed we want to make sure that a new mattress will meet that need too. Since mattress stores are apparently fronts for mafia money-laundering, we’re likely to buy something online sight-unseen, which makes up-front research especially important. The best website I’ve found so far is Sleep Like The Dead, and they’ve even got a page that rates mattresses for sex suitability!
(You can visit the site for a description of all the rated qualities and details about each mattress type.)
This chart was a great starting point, but I immediately realized that we don’t care about “fluid, stain cleanup” or “allows fast climax”, because both factors can be easily mitigated by a mattress protector — which we use on all the beds in our house. “Allows discretion” isn’t important to us because our sex room is very private anyway. “Durable” is somewhat important, but I’m not sure I understand the ratings here — we’ve had an inner spring mattress for a long time, and haven’t experienced any durability problems. In order to take these preferences into account, I created a spreadsheet that adjusts the ratings based on custom weights for each quality. (The “weighting factor” on the right ranges from 0 to 2, with higher values indicating a greater importance to us.)
The penultimate row shows the average raw rating for each mattress type without the weighting factor, and the final row includes the weighting factor. As you can see, the Latex and Hybrid mattress types are the highest-rated both with and without our personal weighting factor. Digging a little deeper:
- Easier to move on
- More durable
- Better position variety — which here means “supportive from edge to edge, easy to move on, have adequate height, and keep pressure points minimized”.
- Better “whole bed suitable”
Other pages on the site indicate that Latex and Hybrid mattresses are similar in price, but we’ll have to do some shopping around before we can take that into consideration.
So there you have it: we’ve narrowed our mattress search down to two types! We haven’t picked a product yet, but we’re a lot closer than we were.
What kind of mattress do you have? What factors do you care about for sex suitability? Anything you love or hate? Leave a comment!
Some of the links we’ve most enjoyed over the past week:
Delight Your Marriage has started a podcast; try this one: “How Being Happy Saved Her Marriage” (via HHH).
Why Men Avoid Counselling — I think some men may connect better with a female counselor; the biggest hesitation is that a man might feel like he’s walking into an ambush.
Toss Your Score Card, Liver Generously — good policy for all areas of life.
What If Gatekeepers Are Victims? — as a father with daughters, it’s hard to deliver just the right message: you should vigilantly abstain while you are single, and then do it like bunnies when you get married.
What If the Batteries Died? A Sex Toy Story — don’t let toys dominate your intimacy with your spouse. Also, keep spare batteries handy.
3 Simple Ways to Create a More Intimate Bedroom – we wrote about this in our two-part series about making your master bedroom your sex room.
The Fantasy Box — Looks fun, especially if it’s a different experience every month. Hey, where’s our free review copy?
The Happy Couple’s Guide To Marriage (And Sex) After A Baby
If you know of something else I need to link to, leave a comment or shoot me a message!
Is Make Up Sex Real? — Yes, you can repair small arguments with sex.
Holiday Refuge — In the chaos of the holidays, make you master bedroom (i.e., your sex room) a refuge.
Sexual Fantasy – Her Secret Sin? — If you’re having trouble staying “in the moment” while having sex, my suggestion is to intentionally increase your responsiveness.
Clitoral Slapping — This is new to us. Try it and let us know what you think!
Slippery When Wet: Lubricant Review, and More Lubricants — Lubes for every situation.
Is Your Husband the Sexiest Man Alive? — Your spouse is your standard of beauty.
Bow-Dazzle! — My favorite holiday sex tip? Christmas elf lingerie.
In addition to El Fury’s post about the Master Bedroom being the Sex Room, I wanted to add a few other thoughts. There are other ways in which we make this room our Sex Room.
Having nightstands with drawers gives us a lot of concealed storage for various sex props. We keep a lot of toys, fun books, lube, etc. in our nightstands. It’s nice to have these things readily accessible in the heat of the moment.
I think our bedroom looks sexy too. We picked out the bedding and the furniture together, so it’s our room. We try to keep it tidy too, so at least for me, when I walk into our bedroom I don’t think about what I need to do to clean it up. I think about what I want to do, or about what I liked doing.
Sexy Corte and I have a lot of married friends who are shocked and surprised when they learn that we always lock our bedroom door at night. It seems that most of our peers not only keep their doors unlocked, but often sleep with their doors open or with their kids in the sex bed!
This is wrong. How are you going to get it on when kids can burst in any any time? Or when kids are in bed with you? The master bedroom is a place of intimacy, privacy, and sexual abandon! It’s your pleasure garden. The kids need to be kept out.
You need to think of your master bedroom as the sex room. Sure, you should have sex all over the house when possible, but if you have kids then most of the time you’ll be getting it on in your sex room. Your bed is the sex bed. In the sex room, sex can happen at any time. The sex bed is for doing dirty deeds with your spouse, not cuddling your kids.
Your kids should rarely enter the sex room, and certainly not without permission. If you’re in the sex room, you should be either preparing to have sex, actually having sex, or half-conscious from amazing sex. (Or asleep, I guess.) You don’t want your kids walking in on that, do you?
Most of sex is mental and emotional, not physical. If you think of your bedroom as your sex room, guess what? Your mind and emotions will shift to make it true. Guard your intimacy and your privacy with your spouse, because if you don’t respect them then your kids certainly won’t.