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The Origin of Spanksgiving 1

Background: Last week we wrote a serious post about giving thanks for your spouse’s sexuality, but this week is intended to be more tongue-in-cheek — Sexy Corte thinks this post will get me in trouble, which is why there’s a disclaimer. It’s inspired by Sexy Corte playfully wishing me “Happy Spanksgiving” when we woke up on Thanksgiving morning. Remember that role-playing or games with submissive elements like this are intended to be playful and enjoyable for both spouses — and feel free to swap the roles if you desire!

Everyone knows that Spanksgiving is observed the week after Thanksgiving, but many people aren’t familiar with the origin of this beloved tradition and aren’t sure how to celebrate it with their spouse.

Hundreds of years ago when the pilgrims first came to America their lives were very difficult and survival was uncertain. Because of God’s grace and their own hard work, the pilgrims were eventually able to thrive in their new home. On the day after their great celebratory feast, pilgrim wives were eager to make a special display of thanks for everything their husbands had done throughout the previous year. They met together and decided that as a show of devotion, thanks, and submission each wife would present her butt to her husband for ceremonial spanking — and this was the beginning of Spanksgiving!

A modern wife who wants to demonstrate gratitude to and for her husband will still follow this tradition. The details have varied over time, but most Spanksgiving celebrations include similar elements. In front of her husband the wife will remove all her clothes, and as she removes each piece of clothing she will thank him for something he has done for her that year. When she is naked, she will lay herself across his lap to present her butt for spanking. Then the wife will ask the husband for a number of spankings that corresponds to her gratitude for him, with the traditional number being around 10 — perhaps a bit more or fewer depending on her level of thankfulness. The husband will then deliver the appropriate number of spanks while the wife counts them out loud. The spanks will be applied with a firm hand, and the wife will often request them to be done harder if she doesn’t believe they are fully capturing the essence of how thankful she is. When the spankings are complete the husband and wife will cuddle and make love, concluding the ceremony.

What a beautiful tradition! Now that you know the origin of Spanksgiving you can feel more confident honoring the custom in your own marriage. Leave a comment to share your experiences with Spanksgiving!

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Here are a few sexy games to spice up your Halloween!

If this podcast is a blessing to you, please leave us a 5-star review on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Sexy Halloween Snap Apple: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/sex-games/sexy-halloween-snap-apple/

Sexy Adult Halloween Ideas: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/mental-techniques/sexy-adult-halloween-ideas/

Sock Wrestling: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/sex-games/sock-wrestling/

Tie, Tease, Trivia: Harry Potter Edition: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/mental-techniques/tie-tease-trivia-harry-potter-edition/

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:51 — 11.2MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | About the Podcast

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Some tips for how to get started with sexual role-playing, and specific ideas for how to play a lusty professor and desperate student.

If this podcast is a blessing to your marriage, please leave a 5-star review and tell a friend!

Role-Playing: Professor and Student: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/mental-techniques/role-playing-professor-and-student/

How To Do Sexual Role-Playing: https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/mental-techniques/how-to-do-sexual-role-playing/

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:57 — 11.1MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS | About the Podcast

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Board Games for Couples 2

Normally we post sex games, but several people have asked for more information about the board games that Sexy Corte and I play together. We are disciplined with our kids’ bed time and try to minimize our television viewing, which leaves us with a few hours each night to spend doing shared activities. This time is great for our marriage and our friendship! Sometimes we have people over or go on dates, but most evenings we play board games. Below is a list of the games that we most enjoy playing as a couple — the list doesn’t include games that we most enjoy playing with friends or kids.

For each game I’ll give my impression of how “heavy” it is — how hard it is to learn and play — along with a brief description. All the links go to BoardGameGeek.com, which is a board game database not a retailer; follow these links to learn a lot more about each game. If you have a good Friendly Local Game Store or shop around online you should definitely not pay full MSRP for board games.

Cooperative games

We really enjoy cooperative games — if you’re not familiar with the term, it means that all the players are on the same side, trying to beat the game together. These are great team-building activities, they stretch our brains, and they give us a fun set of shared experiences to talk about later.

Eldritch Horror — Weight: Heavy. Our go-to game for several years. It’s a cooperative adventure game of Lovecraftian cosmic horror. We own all the expansions and have probably played 100 times.

Gloomhaven — Weight: Heavy. Our new go-to game, recently replacing Eldritch Horror. It’s an adventure legacy game with character development and strong tactical decision-making. We’ve played about 20 times.

Mansions of Madness: Second Edition — Weight: Light. An immersive app-driven board game in which you explore a haunted house and try to solve the mystery before you get devoured by evil.

Arkham Horror: The Card Game — Weight: Heavy. A living card game in which you build a deck of cards that represents your investigator and then work through a campaign of scenarios to defeat cosmic evil.

Lord of the Rings: The Card Game (LCG) — Weight: Heavy. Similar to Arkham Horror (above), but set in the Tolkien universe. You can play scenarios that correspond to your favorite parts of the books, as well as scenarios that flesh out activities that the books allude to but don’t show “on screen”.

Hanabi — Weight: Light. A simple card game in which you and your team try to launch fireworks in the proper order. The tricky part is that you have to be able to reach each others’ minds in order to win.

Robinson Crusoe: Adventures on the Cursed Island — Weight: Medium. A very thematic adventure game in which you explore a mysterious island. And probably die.

Sentinels of the Multiverse — Weight: Medium. A card game in which you each play a superhero and work together to defeat a super-villain.

Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective — Weight: Light. Solve mysteries like Sherlock Holmes. This isn’t really a “board game” per se, more like a choose-your-own-adventure book with numerous mysteries to solve together.

Mythos Tales — Weight: Light. Like Consulting Detective (above), but based in the Cthulhu mythos.

 

Exit: The Game — Weight: Light. Escape rooms in a box! You can only play each once, but they’re way cheaper than going to a real escape room and still plenty of fun. There are several other brands of escape room games, but we haven’t tried them yet.

Elder Sign — Weight: Light. We don’t own the board game, but we play the app together on our tablet. Cthulhu-themed Yahtzee.

Spaceteam — Weight: Light. This is a phone app, and a fun way to kill some time by shouting instructions at each other.

Competitive games

We each seem to think the other person wins “most of the time”, so I guess we’re pretty evenly matched at these competitive games.

Ascension — Weight: Light. A quick deck building game with art we love and chaotic mechanics. We play the free app version on our tablet and have paid a few dollars to unlock several of the expansions. Playing on the tablet means that there’s no setup or tear-down time!

Patchwork — Weight: Light. A fantastic geometric game in which you each craft a quilt using Tetris-like patches of fabric. It’s competitive, but there’s little direct confrontation.

7 Wonders Duel — Weight: Medium. Build your civilization from the ground up. Very competitive, and requires a lot of planning and foresight to optimize your turns.

Akrotiri — Weight: Medium. Easy to play, hard to master game of exploration in which you score points by building temples in secret configurations on random terrain.

Terra Mystica — Weight: Heavy. A game of resource management and area control in which tiny optimizations to your strategy are the key to victory.

Fury of Dracula (third/fourth edition) — Weight: Light. One player is Dracula, traveling around Europe and sowing chaos; the other player is the team of vampire hunters trying to track him down and kill him. Hidden movement and a complex rock-paper-scissors combat system make this a game of reading your spouse’s mind.

Tales of the Arabian Nights — Weight: Light. More of a fun story generator than a game. You wander around the Near East and have amusing encounters with bizarre characters, travel to other dimensions, and try to fulfill your personal goals. We usually don’t even finish the game, we just uncover random stories until we feel like going to bed.

Viticulture — Weight: Medium. A worker placement game in which each player runs a vineyard and scores points by growing grapes, crafting wine, and filling orders.

Role-playing games

Not sexy role-playing games, just the normal kind. Escape from yourself and pretend to be someone else — with awesome powers. Not just for geeks anymore!

Cthulhu Confidential — Weight: Light, for a role-playing game. Finally, an RPG designed to be played by just two people! The core book contains all the rules plus three noir-style Cthulhu mythos adventures. One spouse runs the game as the Game Master, and the other spouse plays a character who tries to solve the mystery without getting devoured.

Divinity: Original Sin and Divinity: Original Sin II: Weight: Medium. These are computer role-playing games that you can play cooperatively sitting on your couch. We’ve put over 100 hours into each of them, so you can’t beat the entertainment value. Good stories, good character advancement, and fun combat.

Dungeons & Dragons (5th Edition) — Weight: Medium, for a role-playing game. Thanks to 5th Edition (or “5e” as it’s usually called), Dungeons & Dragons is experiencing a golden age right now. This isn’t a game that you’re likely to play just with your spouse, but Sexy Corte and I are having a lot of fun playing in multiple campaigns together. We play over Roll20.net in the evenings after our kids go to bed, and it’s a great way to spend time together and be social without getting a babysitter.

Conclusion

I’ll add more games to the list above as our already insane library expands. Do you have a favorite game you like to play with your spouse? Leave a comment below!

 

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Role-Playing: Bratty Wife 3

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #016: Sexual Role-Playing: Bratty Wife

Bratty: “spoiled, self-centered, and badly behaved”.

I’m blessed to have a charming, peaceful, and generous wife in Sexy Corte, and having a bratty wife (or husband!) would certainly be very unpleasant.

Proverbs 21:9 “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

And yet, there’s something sexy about the idea of “taming” a bratty wife! (Shakespeare even wrote a play about it.) This post will give you some ideas for how you can role-play as a “bratty wife” and dominant husband. Remember: role-playing is play. Both spouses should be comfortable and have fun, even though the play creates pretend conflict. (You may also enjoy posts about how to do sexual role-playing and role-playing as professor and student.)

The bratty wife scenario is fun for several reasons:

  • Power exchange. There’s an interesting power dynamic between the bratty wife and her husband. The bratty wife gets to play at being self-centered, petty, rude, and teasing. She can put him off, reject his advances, dismiss him, ignore him, and generally stick her tongue out until he demands better behavior. The husband gets to react to his wife’s disrespect with assertive dominance. Rather than pulling back or trying to appease her brattiness, the husband gets to play a commanding role, pushing his bratty wife to treat him with obedience and respect.
  • Letting loose. In real life we strive to treat everyone with care and respect, especially our spouses! But it can be fun to let loose with stronger, more active behavior without hurting anyone’s feelings. As long as both spouses respect each other’s boundaries (more on this later), you can play at being petty, demanding, and forceful in a way that you can’t do in normal situations.
  • Clear goals. Role-playing is enhanced when both spouses understand the goals they’re working towards, and in the “bratty wife” scenario the goals are pretty easy. The husband’s goal is to obtain obedience and submission from the wife, as represented by her words and deeds. The wife’s goal is to make him work for it! The scenario ultimately ends with the wife submitting, but she has the power to decide how long it takes.

So let’s talk about boundaries! Since this role-playing scenario is based around pretend bad behavior, it’s important to understand in advance what kind of behavior could actually end up being hurtful to your spouse. Here are some guidelines.

  • Don’t bring up real areas of disagreement or tension. Role-playing is a game, not a method for resolving your actual disputes. The game will quickly turn ugly if you bring up real flash points.
  • Don’t insult each other. Neither spouse should insult the other — you can be spoiled, petty, rude, and commanding without being insulting. Especially avoid insulting any attribute of your spouse that you know they’re sensitive about for real!
  • Don’t be mean. Being bratty or commanding doesn’t imply meanness or cruelty. Hopefully the examples below reflect that difference. The commanding husband and bratty wife love each other!

So how do you get started? It’s probably worth discussing your boundaries first — which may be short and simple, or may turn into a longer conversation. We recommend not having this talk immediately before you intend to start role-playing! Do it the day before, and then pick a time in advance to begin the game. “Bratty wife” can begin before the kids are even in bed, with whispered remarks and pouty faces. Then when you’re alone together, the husband can kick things off by saying something like: “Your behavior this evening was not acceptable.”

The game has three phases, dictated by the bratty wife’s behavior.

  1. Refusal. The wife refuses to obey commands until the husband “makes” her.
  2. Reluctance. The wife obeys direct commands without enthusiasm. The husband corrects her and shows her what he expects.
  3. Submission. The wife is “tamed” and drops her bratty behavior, now eager to please her husband.

The bratty wife is the star of the show; here are some things she can do and say.

  • The bratty wife is “spoiled, self-centered, and badly behaved”, but not mean or cruel. She loves her husband, but is just a brat.
  • Don’t simply resist everything. Submit a little, then be bratty again, then submit, then be bratty, over and over. The ultimate conclusion of the game is that you submit — but make him earn it.
  • Don’t make the game into a physical fight: resist with your words and body language. The dominant husband should use his strength (gently!) to push you towards compliance; submit to his touch, but resist with your words.
  • Use body language: roll your eyes, sigh, cross your arms, turn your back, walk away, stick out your tongue.
  • “No.” “No way.” “Forget it.” — Phase 1, Refusal. Be dramatic and annoying. Refuse, then submit when he makes you do it.
  • “But I just want to…” — You care about you. Whine about what you want.
  • “I don’t want to!”
  • “Do it yourself.”
  • “Make me.”
  • “I can’t believe you’re making me do this.” — Phase 2, Reluctance. As the game goes on, you begin to obey his direct commands, but without enthusiasm.
  • Whatever he tells you to do, do it half-way; stop in the middle of a task. If it’s a sexual activity, frustrate him just as he gets aroused.
  • “Yeah, yeah, I respect you.” — But don’t say it like you mean it until he makes you.
  • “Oh fine, I’m sorry.”
  • “Yes sir!” — Sarcastically.
  • “I’m sorry I was so disrespectful.” — Phase 3, Submission. When you’re ready to turn the corner of the game, show your husband that he has tamed you.
  • “You really know how to handle me.”
  • “Yes, I’ll do whatever you say.”
  • “What do you want me to do?”
  • “How can I show you my love and respect?”
  • “Deal with me however you see fit.”
  • “I’ll do whatever you want.”

The husband’s behavior is consistent in all three phases of the game. Here are some things the husband can do and say.

  • The husband is confident and commanding, but not unkind. He doesn’t ask, defer, or apologize — he demands respect and submission. He doesn’t cater to the wife’s feelings or appeals for fairness. He expects good behavior and submission from his wife.
  • Be firm, clear, and direct. Tell your wife what you expect her to do — how you want her to demonstrate her respect and submission. Don’t give in to her whining.
  • Use your hands (gently!) to encourage her submission. Position her how you want, lead her to where you want her to be. Touch her and handle her.
  • “Your behavior this evening was not acceptable.”
  • “I expect you to show me respect.”
  • “You will apologize.”
  • “Don’t roll your eyes at me.”
  • “Look me in the eye when I’m talking to you.”
  • “Stop talking.”
  • “Don’t walk away from me until I say so.”
  • “You obviously need some instruction on how to show respect to your husband.”
  • “When I tell you to do something, you do it.”
  • “Give me a good apology.”
  • “You don’t sound very sorry to me. Try again.”
  • “Show me that you mean it.”
  • “Stand up.” “Sit down.” “Bring me a drink.” “Put your hair up/down.” “Go change your clothes.” — Issue arbitrary orders to test her obedience.
  • “You don’t get an orgasm until I say so.”
  • “If you’re going to act like a brat, then…” — Impose consequences for her behavior, like:
  • “… you don’t deserve those nice clothes. Give me your pants/shirt/panties/whatever.” — Maybe she can earn them back.
  • “… bend over my knee so I can spank you.”
  • “… I’ve got a better use for your mouth.”
  • “… hold this vibrator on yourself without climaxing, and tell me when you’re ready to apologize.”

Sex can either be part of the scenario or take place afterwards, it’s up to you.

When you’re done role-playing, talk about how it went. Have a good cuddle. Talk about your favorite parts of the scene, and stay positive. Later on, after the glow wears off, discuss anything you didn’t like and wouldn’t choose to do again. If your spouse really liked some element that wasn’t your favorite, negotiate and find some common ground that works for your marriage.

Have you played a game like this before? Are you going to try it? Leave a comment!

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Role-Playing: Professor and Student 4

This post is also available as a podcast: Podcast #009: Sexual Role-Playing: Professor and Student

The most common emails we get are about oral sex, but a little way down the list are questions from folks who want to incorporate role-playing in their sex life, but aren’t really sure how to get started. I wrote a post about how to do sexual role-playing, and today I’m going to give more specific tips for how to play out a professor-and-student scene. This scenario is probably the most common role-playing that Sexy Corte and I do, and maybe these ideas will get your creative juices flowing.

(If you haven’t read the how-to post yet, you might want to start there. Don’t worry… it’s normal to feel a little silly and awkward at first!)

From here on, I’m going to assume that the wife is playing the Student role, but you can easily flip it. Remember: role-playing is play. Both spouses should be comfortable and have fun, even though the play puts them in roles of power and submission.

The professor-and-student scenario is fun for several reasons:

  • Power exchange. The power dynamic between the Student and Professor is fun to inhabit. Instead of being equals, the Student (temporarily, for the purposes of fun) gives up her power in the encounter and pretends to reluctantly submit to the Professor’s sexual advances. She gets to play coy, innocent, and desperate for the Professor’s approval, while the Professor gets to play at using his power and authority to “prey” on the Student’s vulnerability.
  • Familiar emotional hooks. The emotions behind the role-play are easy to grasp, because we’ve all been in the position of the student who really needs to pass her class. She doesn’t want to get kicked out of school! What will her parents think if she fails? Will she have to repeat the class? Will she graduate? She’ll do whatever it takes to satisfy her professor, even….
  • Clear goals. The professor-and-student scenario is relatively easy to improvise because both characters have clear goals: the Student wants her grade, and the Professor wants the Student. It’s not like you’re playing a pirate or an astronaut or Hamlet. Both roles can take initiative and play into their parts without any confusion about where the scene is going. No one should need to break character or say “I don’t know”.

Ok, so how do you get started? I enjoy prompting Sexy Corte with a note early in the day. Something like this:

To: Miss Corte

Please come see me during office hours this evening around 7:30pm. We need to discuss your midterm exam.

Signed: Professor Fury

[You haven’t been doing so well in class, but you really need to pass! You might have slightly cheated on your midterm… hopefully the professor hasn’t figured it out.]

The note proposes a time and place for the scene to begin, which means we can jump right into it after the kids are in bed. The last part, in brackets, gives Miss Corte some motivation for her character so that we’re on the same page when she shows up in my office. She needs to pass the class (of course), but she also has a secret that she hopes Professor Fury doesn’t know, which might give her an extra edge of desperation if it’s revealed.

If Sexy Corte is up for the plan she’ll send me a note or text message back. We’ll probably text back and forth several times, building up the tension and arousal. After the kids are in bed I’ll go to my office and wait for Miss Corte to knock on my door. Here are a few ideas for how each role can be played once the scene begins — this isn’t a script, just some thoughts to spur your imagination!

Things the Professor can do or say:

  • Dress formally, like a professor. You are powerful and intelligent, at the top of your profession — your students tremble at your gaze.
  • Sit in your chair behind your desk. Act stern, aloof, and disappointed in the Student.
  • “I finished grading your test, and you didn’t do very well at all.”
  • “I’m disappointed that you aren’t taking my class seriously.”
  • “If you don’t improve your grade, you’re not going to pass my class.”
  • “You could lose your scholarship, and might not even graduate.”
  • “What do you intend to do about this situation?” — This line is fun, because it puts the Student in the position of having to “reluctantly” propose some sexual favor.
  • “You might be able to earn some extra credit, if…” — Trail off, as if you’re considering some options.
  • “I’m not sure you’re willing to put in the work it will take.” — Make the Student assure you that she is.
  • “Yes, I’m afraid I must insist.”
  • “You say you’re a good girl, but you need to show me.”
  • “Very well. Kneel here in front of me while I think about how to help you. I’m sure you know what to do.”
  • “Before you can bring up your grade, you need to be punished for your cheating. Bend over my knee and pull down your panties. This is for your own good.” — Spanking is always fun.
  • “How many spanks do you think you deserve?” — Make her pick a number. Does she understand how serious this situation is?
  • “Are you really trying your hardest? Is this your best effort?”
  • “You’ve done well on the oral portion of the exam.”
  • “I expect to see you in my office every week, Miss Corte.”
  • “Good girls don’t come without permission.”
  • “While you’re coming, say I’m a good girl! over and over.”

indy student s

And here are some things the Student can do or say:

  • Dress demure or slutty, depending on how you want to play the Student. Wear a dress or skirt.
  • Act worried, reluctant, and desperate. You need to pass this class, but what will it take?
  • Say “sir” or “Professor” in every sentence. He is handsome and powerful. You respect him and need his approval.
  • If you and your spouse are comfortable with it, you can protest and refuse the Professor’s insinuations and demands until he uses his power to coerce you into submission. It’s up to you both how far you want to go with this kind of power play, and you should probably discuss it beforehand and potentially use a safe word so that no one’s boundaries are crossed.
  • “Why did you want to see me, sir?”
  • “I really need to pass this class, Professor.” — Be desperate, flash your eyes, look worried.
  • “If I don’t pass, my parents will kill me, Professor!” — Be scared of the consequences.
  • “But then I might not graduate, sir.”
  • “I always try my hardest, sir.” — You really want to pass. This poor performance isn’t like you at all.
  • “What can I do to improve my grade, Professor?” — You see where this is going, but you’re reluctant.
  • “I couldn’t possibly do that, sir!” — Protest! Refuse!
  • “But I’m a good girl!” — You can’t trade your virtue for a grade… can you?
  • “Yes, professor, I’ll do whatever it takes.” — What choice do you have?
  • “I’m sorry I cheated, Professor. I want to earn back your trust.” — Submission.
  • “Thank you for correcting me, sir.”
  • “Yes sir, I’ll be your best student!”
  • “What else can I do, sir?” — You want to please him, you want to prove yourself to him.
  • “I’m a good girl, sir! I’m a good girl!”

Afterwards, break the scene and leave your roles. The game is over (for now), so go back to being your normal selves. Have a good cuddle. Talk about your favorite parts of the scene, and stay positive. Later on, after the glow wears off, discuss anything you didn’t like and wouldn’t choose to do again. If your spouse really liked some element that wasn’t your favorite, negotiate and compromise and find the common ground that works for your marriage.

Have you ever role-played as professor-and-student with your spouse? How do you play it? Leave a comment!

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Sex Q&A: Role-Playing, Shaving, Talking Dirty, and More 5

Reader “LM” sent us a long email with several questions, so let’s address each in turn.

I’m writing as a BIG fan of your blog. My fiancée (girlfriend at the time) and I started reading your blog last summer, as a way to facilitate healthy conversations about sex. It has been so helpful to have conversation starters from a Christian perspective, and it has helped us have open and honest conversations about expectations for sex inside marriage. We recently got engaged, and are getting married in March. As the big day gets closer, we decided to put together a list of some questions we had, in the hopes that you could provide some insight.

Congratulations on your engagement! It means so much to us to receive emails like this. We write this blog to edify Christian marriages, and we’re very encouraged when we hit our target. (It’s worth linking to an earlier post for newlyweds: Sex Q&A: About to Be Married, First-Time Sex.)

Before we get to LM’s specific questions, I should say that it’s not our place to give or withhold permission for what you do in your marriage — that’s between you, your spouse, and God. Read Can we *BLANK*? for more info, and check out 1 Corinthians 8. Follow the leading of the Holy Spirit with discernment and humility.

Here are the questions.

1) We’re both very excited about role play, however, we had a question. In almost all role playing scenarios (teacher-schoolgirl, KGB agent-American spy, etc), the characters are not married. In this case, are you acting out a scenario (sex between unmarried people) that is not honoring to God? OR is it ok because the people actually having sex (me and my soon to be wife) ARE married?

2) Speaking of role play, have you guys ever played out a scenario which has caused you to lust after an actor / actress? My fiancée is a huge Lord of the Rings / Harry Potter fan, and would love to role play some of those characters. My worry is that that might cause one or both of us to think about the actors or actresses we’re role playing during sex instead of each other.

These two questions are great examples of the need for discernment and wisdom. Strictly speaking, you aren’t sinning if your sexual thoughts are aimed exclusively at your spouse. However, if this kind of role-play causes your sexual focus to wander away from your spouse, then it might be sin for you and you should avoid it. You need to be honest with each other, with yourselves, and with God. Flee from sexual immorality and do whatever most strengthens your marriage and your walk with God.

Sexy Corte and I don’t role-play as characters from pop culture — we make up our own characters, and have quite a collection. Characters from books and movies aren’t real people, so lusting after your-wife-as-Hermione doesn’t seem problematic to me.

Also, make sure you check out Tie, Tease, Trivia: Harry Potter Edition.

3) Have you guys ever had sex to music, and found yourself lusting after the artist singing the song? There is some really sexy music out there, but I’m worried that I might end up thinking about the singer during sex, if it’s someone I find attractive.

We occasionally play music during sex, and lusting after the artist had never occurred to us. If music is a stumbling block for you then don’t use it, or listen to music performed by ugly artists!

4) We’ve seen your recommendations to shave prior to the wedding night, but we’re worried that after one or two days of smooth, things may get prickly and uncomfortable. Is there a way to avoid this?

We’ve written about shaving for husbands and wives, and we both really enjoy the sensations of having smooth skin. Of course, shaved hair grows back! We typically shave every few days in the shower, and it only takes a couple of minutes once you’re proficient. If you don’t want to maintain it so frequently you can try waxing, but the hair will still grow back (and waxing costs a lot more money than shaving). You can also try laser hair removal, which costs even more money but can eliminate the hairs (almost) permanently. It’s really a matter of preference.

5) What do couples usually do when the woman is a virgin and there’s the potential that she’ll bleed in the hotel room? Do you just leave it and let the maid change the sheets the next day? Do you bring your own sheets?

Put down a towel and/or leave a nice tip. Honeymoon nights aren’t unique in dirtying hotel sheets, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Do yourself a favor and don’t inspect your hotel room with a UV light.

6) One of the things we’ve talked about is the idea of dirty talk, particularly if it involves cussing. We think it could be hot, but we wanted to hear your thoughts.

Sexy time is pretty much the only time we swear, and yes, it can be hot. There’s nothing sinful about any particular words — it’s all about how you use them. If the words edify your marriage, then great! If they insult or discomfort your spouse, then don’t use them.

Got some thoughts to share? Please leave a comment!

Please use the contact pages for Sexy Corte and El Fury to send us your questions. We will only share your question if you give us permission, and we’ll never reveal your name or any other identifying information. You can ask questions anonymously, or use a free anonymous email server like Mailinator.

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Pirates and Poetry Night 6

We’ve been drawing an activity from our adult advent calendar every morning this month, and yesterday we drew one of Sexy Corte’s ideas: “pirates and poetry”. It’s exactly what it sounds like: we dressed up like sexy pirates, read poetry, and played with each other before having sex. SC put eyeliner on me, and I basically looked like this:

hook-s

(Update: SC says I was handsomer.)

Sexy Corte dressed as a sexy pirate wench in a red corset, stockings, a white peasant skirt… and that’s it. Super hot.

It’s important to draw the advent activity in the morning (instead of evening) for two reasons:

  1. Sexual energy builds up when you know what’s coming.
  2. You have time to prepare!

So yesterday at lunch I wrote a bawdy pirate sonnet. Feel free to read it to your spouse — see if it makes her blush!

Pirate captains are not romantic rogues,
Despite the stories on screens big and small.
They pill’ge and plunder everywhere they go,
D’spoiling booty in every port of call.

Many wenches yearn for salty sea-men,
With shining eyes and flirty p’laver frank.
But wenches’ mouths have nobl’r pirate function:
Walking with her lips his engor’ged plank.

Yet his heart may soften as he oft’ moors,
Nigh well-plumbed depths ’round the vicinity
f’Hidden grotto, warm and wet, his hoard,
Where sinks his laden ship repeatedly.

Where a hardened pirate seeks deepest rest,
And buries little pirates in her treasure chest.

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How To Do Sexual Role-Playing 7

Maybe you’ve wanted to try role-playing for a while, or maybe you’ve read some of our role-playing posts, but you just aren’t sure how to get started — if so, this post is for you!

It’s common to feel a little uncomfortable, awkward, or embarrassed when you first start role-playing in a sexual context with your spouse. This is completely normal! Sexual role-playing combines two of humanity’s greatest fears: public speaking and the risk of sexual rejection. Either one of these alone is enough to make most people feel anxious. However, with a little bit of preparation and practice you can psyche yourself up to take a some risk with your spouse, and the payoff will be fantastic!

The first thing to remember is that role-playing with your spouse should be fun. While you’re reading the rest of this post, don’t lose sight of this principle:

If you’re having fun, you’re doing it right!

The ideas in this post are intended to help you and your spouse have fun, not to give you a bunch of rules for role-playing “the right way”. Follow the spirit of the ideas, and do whatever creates the most fun for you and your spouse.

Before you get started, it’s important to set expectations with your spouse. You may think it will be more fun to completely improvise, but it probably won’t! Here are a few topics to cover:

  • What are your roles? You can each define your own role, or one person can pick for both. Are either of you playing a role that has power over the other in the context of the scene? The person in this role doesn’t necessarily have to be in a sexually dominant position, but the power dynamic is usually an important aspect of any scene.
  • Where’s the scene going? Is there some particular relationship, dynamic, or experience that you’re working towards? A specific sex act? Do you have expectations for how you want your spouse to act? Or how you’re going to act? Be explicit, so that no one is disappointed that their spouse isn’t a mind-reader.
  • What are your boundaries? This goes hand-in-hand with the question above. Make sure you and your spouse understand what you don’t want to do.

These questions create a stage for you to perform on; as you get comfortable with the process and with each other you won’t have to spend much time on preparation.

Role-playing your first scene can be awkward and even scary. Sexual role-playing has a lot in common with other kinds of improvisational acting, so let’s look at some general improv guidelines that will help you get started.

  • Separate the role-playing from real life. You and your spouse are acting. The things you say and do during a scene don’t “mean” anything beyond the scene itself, so don’t take things personally.
  • Explicitly begin and end each scene. There’s a reason directors say “action!”. You can use verbal cues as simple as “begin scene” and “end scene”.
  • Commit to the role. When you’re in the scene, stay in character. Ham it up. Have fun being someone else!
  • “Yes, and…” — the cardinal rule of improvisational acting. Always do your best to accept and build on whatever direction your spouse goes in the scene. Negations and denials will often kill your momentum and your scene. (Of course, everyone needs to respect the boundaries in place.)
  • Make your spouse look good. Build on what your spouse is doing, and make their choices work in the scene. Don’t break character to criticize or “help” them.

One last bit of advice: be vulnerable, and respect your spouse’s vulnerability. You’ll have a lot of fun if you let yourselves! Don’t take things too seriously, and don’t forget to have sex at the end.

(For detailed examples, see: Role-Playing: Professor and Student and Role-Playing: Bratty Wife.)

To generate some random prompts, check out our naughty story generator. Share some role-playing tips in the comment!

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Naughty Story Generator 8

Reload this page to generate random naughty stories based on the roll-all-the-dice naughty story table.

Your naughty story prompts:

Man:Police officer, Motive: Carefree
Woman:Student, Motive: Desperate
Setting:Massage parlor
Sexual mood:Lust
Foreplay:Nibbling
Conclusion:End up naked, intercourse, quiet orgasms

Use these prompts to inspire your role-playing or to create a sexy story for your spouse.

If you need more inspiration, consult the sex adventure generator.

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