We get many emails with variations on the question: how can I my spouse and I be more sexually spontaneous? Ironically, a little preparation can help! Put some lube and wet wipes in your purse, and you’ll be ready for spontaneity any time.
But how do you actually be spontaneous? If spontaneity doesn’t come naturally to your sex life, you can introduce a bit of randomness to help things along. We often use dice to make random choices and inspire our imaginations. Nothing is worse than two people both saying, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” You don’t have to obey the dice, but you can use the random rolls to get your creativity flowing. Here are a few examples:
Those tables give you ideas for what and how to have sex, but the key to spontaneity is when. So here’s an idea for randomizing the time you have sex: use a deck of playing cards. Here are two possible methods.
Method 1: Draw a random card when you wake up in the morning. If the card is a number, an ace, or a jack (11), that’s the hour of the day you’re going to have sex. If it’s a king or queen, then the husband or wife has to secretly pick a time to ambush the other spouse and initiate. Advanced mode: a heart means to get naked, a diamond means to start with oral, a club means you have to use at least three positions, and a spade means it’s a quickie and draw again afterwards.
Method 2: Bring the deck of cards with you and set an alarm to go off every hour. When the alarm goes off, draw a card. If it’s a number between 2 and 9, do nothing and draw again the next hour. Otherwise:
Ten or Jack: Within the next hour you must have some serious physical foreplay for at least five minutes, but not to orgasm. Making out, fingering, oral sex, breast play. Get hot and heavy, but don’t finish.
Queen: The wife picks an appropriate location and initiates sex within the next hour.
King: The husband picks an appropriate location and initiates sex within the next hour.
Ace: Drop whatever you’re doing and immediately find a place to have sex.
Advanced mode: a heart means to get naked, a diamond means to start with oral, a club means you have to use at least three positions, and a spade means the initiator needs to add an extra kink (examples: spanking, tickling, teasing).
What do you and your spouse do to enhance spontaneity? Share some tips in the comments!
Yep, we like making sexy dice games you can enjoy with your spouse! Tonight it’s Sexy Body Part Twister. (Here’s a PDF version.) Not every body part combination is directly sexual (stomach to foot?!) but you’ll have fun touching each other and getting warmed up. The best part is that you can win any time you want!
The purpose of this table is to prompt your imagination. You can use it to create fantasies to play out with your spouse, or follow the prompts to create a sexy story as foreplay. Write the story for your spouse in an email, or whisper it in her ear.
If you have any ideas for items to add to any of the tables please leave them in the comments!
I previously posted a roll-all-the-dice table for creating random sex adventures with your spouse, but it has come to my attention that not everyone has the geek dice required to make use of the table. So, as a public service, this page will roll the dice for you and generate a random sex adventure! Each time you reload this page you will get a different result. Enjoy!
If you’ve ever played a role-playing game like Dungeons and Dragons then you probably have a bunch of polyhedral dice like the ones in the picture: four-sided, six-sided, eight-sided, ten-sided, twelve-sided, and twenty-sided. However, unless you’re old-school you may never before have seen what’s called a roll-all-the-dice table. The idea is pretty simple: you roll all the dice and consult the results on a giant table. (If you don’t have a set of dice like this, you can pick up a set of polyhedral dice on Amazon for only few bucks.)