What Do Wives Think About Giving Blowjobs?

In Level-Up Your Sex Life we wrote that based on the emails we receive, the top request from wives is to have more orgasms, and the top request from husbands is to get more blowjobs. We’ll write later about the joy husbands get from pleasuring their wives, but what do wives think about giving blowjobs?

Julie Sibert writes about Oral Sex and the Christian Wives Who Love Giving It.

Years ago, I was having lunch with a woman who would eventually become one of my closest friends.

At the time of our lunch all those years ago, we were new colleagues, and we soon discovered we had a plethora of things in common — our love of sex being one of them.

To say she and I had great ease in talking about sex in our marriages would be an understatement. To this day, she is a confidante who I know will always be up for a transparent and authentic conversation about sexual struggles and sexual joys.

At our first lunch together, we eventually came upon the topic of oral sex, to which I said, “Who doesn’t love oral sex?!” She looked at me quizzically and asked, “Giving or receiving?”

“BOTH,” I answered enthusiastically. She agreed.

From Men’s Health we get 17 Women on Why They Actually Love Giving Blowjobs. And check the linked Reddit thread also.

Of course, every person enjoys different things in the bedroom, and it’s impossible to make a blanket statement about whether or not women like giving blowjobs. But we can tell you this much: some women definitely enjoy performing oral sex on their partners. Just peruse the hundreds of responses to this Reddit thread, which asked: “Women who like giving blowjobs, why?”

The women who responded had a variety of reasons for their love of giving head. On a psychological level, some said they enjoyed the power of having their partner at their mercy, and being able to control their pleasure with the slightest tongue flick. On a physical level, others said they liked the taste and the feeling of a smooth penis in their mouth. And then there’s the emotional side to blowjobs: a number of respondents said they use oral sex to show their partner how much they love and appreciate them.

And finally, our commenter Maria shares her experience with her husband and gives some tips. (And read the post Maria is commenting on to to learn about What Do Wives Think of Swallowing Semen?)

When he starting ejaculating, I looked downward as a friend advised me to do this in case his load was objectionable he wouldn’t see me grimace. He enjoyed the sex, but was truly thrilled by the sucking. I thought this would be because he had no responsibility or pressure to perform during a blowjob, but his love of blowjobs has not subsided one iota in our 8 months of marriage. The first time he filled my mouth, I was truly mortified by the flavor. I swallowed like a champ, keeping my head down so he wouldn’t see the disgust on my face. Over the next month, I learned that if I keep his penis far back into my mouth, he will shoot his semen past my tastebuds and down my throat without me tasting it. I time my swallows to his spurts. I know some women who try to please their husbands by pretending that they absolutely love the taste of their semen. I think that my husband appreciates my frequent sucking and swallowing more because he knows I do not enjoy the taste of his sperm.

So wives, what do you think about giving your husband a blowjob? Do you love it, hate it, or just feel neutral? Leave a comment and let us know.

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9 comments

  1. I’m sure this post provides a helpful new perspective for some readers: husbands who felt guilty about desiring something which they assumed their wives disliked, and wives who never realized they could discuss this subject with anyone but their husbands.

    However, given how far this article leans in the other direction–suggesting that a huge portion of wives love blowjobs, and that nearly everyone who they could discuss blowjobs with feels the same way–I’m going to caution male readers: if your wife doesn’t like blowjobs, do *not* show her this post as a way to peer-pressure her into giving more of them.

    As with many sexual acts: neither an individual’s initial, gut feeling about it nor the current consensus view of it should be the final word in whether your spouse is obligated to perform it. (The same goes for whether they’re forbidden from performing it.) In a healthy relationship, both partners are willing to:

    1. expand their comfort zone–not just begrudgingly step outside of it every once in a while. (Yes, this means learning to like things.)

    2. listen to their partner’s concerns about the thing outside of their comfort zone, and mitigate the concern if you can. In addition, if their concern a moral matter and it’s sound, then give up your desire and move on.

    Disclaimer: I’m not a relationship counselor, and I don’t have a wife or even a girlfriend. This is just my two cents on the topic.

    1. Good perspective. It’s possible to double the length of a post by adding all the sensible caveats, so I usually leave them out :)

      1. That’s understandable. I really appreciate what the two of you do here. Besides, even the most thoroughly written posts can be misinterpreted by someone with an agenda.

    2. I don’t think that this article suggests that a huge percentage of wives love giving blowjobs. It seems to me that most wives do not love giving blowjobs, but learn to give into their husbands’ cravings. I think that few women actually like performing fellatio, otherwise we would volunteer to work a glory hole, or we would suck off the guy who works at 7-11. We like pleasing our husbands, and some wives enjoy this particular act more than others. Likewise, I think that exceedingly few wives enjoy the taste of semen. Few, oh come on, ZERO wives would drink a semen flavored soda. But some of us enjoy swallowing because it turns our husbands on. Other wives just tolerate it, and other wives do not swallow or even allow our husbands to ejaculate into your mouths.

      The first woman in this article would make me very uncomfortable. I suck off my husband far more than most wives do. I have expressly told him I don’t want him talking about this to other men. I allow myself to discuss oral sex with other women. This might seem like an unfair double standard, but women are more likely to discuss techniques in how to please our husbands, and I would have to imagine that I influence other wives to blow their husbands more frequently.

      The second example, women on reddit, is very biased. Only women who claim to love giving blowjobs would respond.

      The third example is ME! That exact quotation is about how I was initially horrified by my first taste of my husband’s semen, but I swallowed it like a champ. I don’t think that is really an example of a wife who loves sucking her husband’s cock, although I do champ it out very often.

      I know many many many women who compromised and agreed to suck off their husbands (and some others) before marriage. They justified it by thinking that people get married later than in olden times, and they wanted to show their commitment to the man. It also greatly increases the bond between a man and a woman, which I know to definitely be true. Before marriage, my husband did sheepishly ask me for blowjobs, and I refused. My husband surely could have gotten a different girl who would gladly suck him instead of me. I had faith that he would stay with me. Other women had less reason to believe. One reason I suck him so frequently is to reward his faith in me.

      Kneeling before a man and sucking his penis until he ejaculates, and then swallowing is a truly submissive act which can be seen as degrading. It is clearly one-sided and the end result is not pleasant for the woman. It can require a lot of motivation for the woman.

      I am very giving as I can see that it is my husband’s favorite sex act. For our honeymoon, we spent a week in Spain, and it felt as if I spent half of it on my knees. Yes, for blowjobs, the man gets the orgasm, and the woman gets sore jaw, a crick in the neck, and a mouthful of bad tasting goo to swallow. But more wives should realize that the benefits of sucking your husband off come later. My husband is obviously enraptured by it and our relationship benefits enormously. Again, I denied him blowjobs before we were married, and he still stayed with me. I know he truly cares for me, and doesn’t just love me now because of the frequent blowjobs.

      We are trying to save enough to make a down payment on a house. My husband recently took a job in a bar where he works 25+ hours a week on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Many of my girlfriends thought this was odd and that our marriage was somewhat in question since I was willing to part with him for so long. On the contrary, our bond has increased and so has our sex life, primarily our oral sex life.

      On Fridays, we both race home after work. I put on a cute outfit and serve him a quick bite, probably from the crock pot. He doesn’t have much time to spare before going to the bar. I drive him to the bar, and when we arrive, I give him a hard fast handjob in the car. He tells me when he is close, and I catch his release in my mouth. Then we kiss goodbye (on the cheek), and he does an 8 hour shift while I go home.

      While he works at the bar, I grade my papers, and his papers (we are both teachers), meal prep, read, write, watch netflix, and hang out with friends. I really do enjoy my alone time.

      When he comes home at around 3am, I am sure to wear something a little more exciting, and I serve him a more substantial meal. After he scarfs that down, I know exactly what he wants next. And I do it with pleasure. Seeing him come home, exhausted after working so hard, and sacrificing so much for us really turns me on and makes me very eager to please him.

      I have noticed that he takes far longer to reach orgasm at these times. I thought it was due to greater experience, which is probably true. My friend told me that if a man has an orgasm, his second orgasm in the day will take longer to reach. Also, many men think that their wives want them to last as long as possible during sex (Not necessarily true!), but come quicker during blowjobs as they want to make it easier on their wives so that she will do it more frequently. Under the circumstances, my husband can sense my eagerness to please him, and probably feels more entitled to his late night pleasure and he might try harder to delay ejaculation. This seems entirely possible.

      The next morning we wake up and I will have activities planned before he has to go to the bar again. We have a similar, but less rushed routine, and then we have all of Sunday together.

      Blowjobs truly are a gift and a sacrifice for the wife. She probably will feel that the husband has to earn them. Our way of life probably won’t last for too long, and many husbands will blanch at the thought that they have to get a second job to get their wife to suck them off, but this works for us.

  2. Fellatio can be a very enjoyable part of the marriage bed. The visual and tactile feel of a husband’s member in his wife’s mouth generates pleasure and a feeling of acceptance for the husband.

    That said it is important to note that there are varying levels of fellatio and not all wives are comfortable performing it. Some wives are comfortable with full insertion and swallowing, some prefer to spit, others to just use fellatio as foreplay, some to briefly kiss or suck on the head, or to not do it at all. That is perfectly okay.

    While it is a good idea to explore past your initial comfort zone I would encourage couples not to push the wife to perform at a level that makes her uncomfortable.

    When my wife performed fellatio we used flavored condoms to cut down on the mess and taste issues and kept insertion to a minimum.

    It was quite enjoyable for me and I appreciate my wife’s willingness to perform it. I don’t ask for it much anymore though because I know that it is a lot for her.

    If oral sex isn’t something a wife enjoys I encourage couples to explore alternate methods of “sex for him” and generating that feeling of acceptance I mentioned earlier.

    Quite honestly if given the choice between fellatio *OR* a heavy makeout session followed by a quick romp in rear entry I’d choose the latter every time.

  3. Married 18 years. I love giving oral sex. Do it every time we have sex as foreplay, rarely to completion. It’s not my husband’s thing. (Maybe I do it bad?? 🤣 never been with anyone else so no idea…) I don’t mind the taste at all! Its associated with pleasure and intimacy to me. I think it is very mild, slightly sweet and slightly salty. Let’s face it: women are MUCH stronger flavored! 🤣 love doing it, I get so turned on that if my husband gets a finger or two down to my clit, I come before he does, haha. It’s not his favorite way to come, so we don’t finish him off that way too often, but just every now and then to switch things up.

  4. This is a fascinating subject and I am glad someone has asked. For me, the first thing I think about is the smell, and how bad it will be. My husband’s balls have a very strong, musky smell to them unless he has just come out the shower, but even then I can smell them. Then while doing it, I usually try to hurry it along as much as possible keep an eye out on any of the signals he is sending me. Given that my nose is right up against his balls, the thoughts of the smell never really leave my head. I try not think of it too much, but it is tricky. As per swallowing, I have tried once  and it was disgusting. I usually let my husband finish in my mouth, but I spit it out onto his penis as soon as he is done. I guess in sum I tolerate it because I feel like I have to, but I absolutely hate it.

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