If you begin and end oral sex on your husband with him as hard as a rock, you’re both missing out — oral sex on a relaxed penis is an opportunity for intense pleasure and intimacy! But there’s one obvious problem, right? When a soft penis is stimulated it doesn’t stay relaxed for very long. You’ve got two options.
First, you can surprise your husband and take his penis into your mouth before he has a chance to get hard. Skip the kissing, hugging, rubbing, and whispering that might normally precede oral sex and jump straight on it before he knows what’s happening. I guarantee your husband will not object. This is a great way to kick things off, but you’ll probably only get to enjoy his soft penis for about 30 seconds, so…
The second option is to go down on your husband after he’s had an orgasm. When you’re done with sex and you’ve both climaxed, your husband is likely to be exhausted and you’ll have a longer opportunity to admire, delight, and nurture his relaxed penis. You don’t have to work hard at it, because you’re not trying to bring him to orgasm. During his refractory period your husband may start to become erect again without being ready to have another orgasm — if you continue to stimulate him slowly and gently the semi-erection may pass (and he might just fall asleep). The sensation for him will be powerfully intimate and refreshing — what a way to bless your husband with love and acceptance!
Why should you go down on your husband when he’s soft? There are a ton of benefits:
- Intensity. When your husband’s penis is erect its nerves are spread out over a larger area, which dilutes the intensity of oral stimulation over a larger surface area. When his penis is soft its nerves are more tightly packed and stimulation will feel much more intense.
- Take it all in. You may not be able to fit your husband’s entire erect penis in your mouth without deep-throating, but when its soft you can take it all much more easily. He will enjoy the sensation of your mouth covering his whole penis.
- Feel it grow. Your husband will love the feeling as he gets hard inside your mouth, whether he’s had an orgasm already or not.
- Intimacy. Men are often very goal-oriented with sex, always aiming for an orgasm. It can be difficult for a husband to appreciate and revel in the intimacy of sex apart from the orgasm, because after his penis gets soft it is banished from the area. It doesn’t have to be this way! Extend intimacy beyond your orgasms.
- Relaxation. When you’ve already accomplished your goal, you can both relax and take things slow — let your minds wander while you play with each other and luxuriate in the sea of pleasure.
- More sex. Eventually he’ll get hard again, so have more sex! After that his penis will really be down for the count. Probably.
So wives, what do you think about performing oral sex on your husband while he’s soft, before or after sex? Husbands, do you (or would you) enjoy it? How would it make you feel? Leave a comment below!
Holy cow! All of this is true! It’s something a little different and feels great.
Yes my wife does this to surprise me. I believe what you have written to be very true. We are goal oriented especially when it comes to lovemaking, we accomplish the goal and are done…..but why should we be if you take the time for intimacy for the “2nd round” how much better could that be to learn about one another. I am all for trying that and will certainly present this idea to my bride! Thank you for our articles and all your words of wisdom I love your columns.
Thanks for sharing your experience and for leaving a comment!
Sexual intimacy that isn’t so goal-oriented can be a big blessing to a marriage.
I love it when my wife takes me in her mouth when I’m soft. She prefers it as well. She says she likes to feel it get big in her mouth.
This is an interesting article. I agree that our love making is almost always goal orientated. Therefore I like the second option the best. I really don`t think most husbands would have a relaxed penis very long at all with the first option. Am I wrong ? I know my husband would not. Then he would be back to accomplishing his goal.
I really like the thought of extending intimacy beyond intercourse and his finish also. As a wife I know that I have focused on his penis when it is erect and really not much at all when it is relaxed. This is a great way to show him that his penis is awesome and enjoyable either way erect or soft.
Thanks for the comment. If you try this out, please let us know how it goes with your husband.
Oh my, now I do not know what to say about that.
Sometimes I am lost for the right words. Do you know what I mean ? I never know how descriptive to be or not be for that matter. Chatting about sex is not so easy.
Let me see how it goes, lol.
I’ve found the married Christian blogosphere to be very fluid with level of detail, and most of its participants are only as descriptive as they are comfortable with. I’m sure something as simple as “We both really enjoyed it” would be enough if that’s all you’re comfortable with.
As for my wife and I, we have not tried this, though now it’s in my head as something to attempt sometime!
-Scott
Yeah, no explicit details please!
Scott, if you try it let us know how it goes.
We’re simply wondering if the experience was great/bad/indifferent for you and your husband :) Was he surprised? That’s all. No details necessary!