Asking Permission to Orgasm

Asking Permission to Orgasm 1

Orgasm permission is a submission technique that’s easy to add to your sexual repertoire and can add a little mind-play to an otherwise vanilla encounter. (And vanilla is great! When you’ve got a family there isn’t always time to set up all the toys.)

The basic idea of orgasm permission is simple: ask your spouse for permission before you climax, and then hold off until you receive it. You can easily initiate this submission by yourself — just wait till you’re close and moan/groan/yell, “can I come?! can I please come now?!” Then hold yourself close to the edge and wait for your spouse to say “yes, come for me now!”

Alternately, you can tell your spouse that you want them to ask before they orgasm. Since you’re asking something of them, make sure you briefly discuss your expectations. You and your spouse will figure out what works best for you, but you want the experience to be hot, especially the first time. Make sure the mind-play enhances the experience for both of you and doesn’t drain any of the sexual energy:

  • Don’t ask for permission until you’re close to orgasm.
  • When asked, give permission quickly. You or your spouse may eventually find it enjoyable to deny permission for a period of time, but work your way up to it. You don’t want your spouse to lose their orgasm because you said no for too long.

This submission technique can be used with almost any kind of sexual encounter, from missionary to blow jobs to vibrators (good luck!). Have you ever asked your spouse’s permission to orgasm? Leave a comment below!

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  1. Oh yeah. Heather and I do this but have never really put a name to it. It started as me simply trying to drive her crazy while edging her. I had her on the brink of orgasm for about 10-15 minutes.

    I started asking her if she wanted me to make her cum. She said yes so I asked her a few seconds later. After asking about five times, she finally told me I was driving her crazy and told me to make her cum. That’s when the fun started. I told her to beg me. She wouldn’t but continued trying to up the pace and telling me to make her cum.

    She finally realized I was on top and in control. She started begging for release. I made her beg for several minutes before slamming into her, taking her over the top as I filled her with my love. She came so hard and for so long she almost passed out.

    Heather isn’t a squirter but she is a gusher. The sheets and mattress were SOAKED! It was AMAZING. She’s done it to me several times and thinks it’s funny to get revenge on me. It’s VERY sweet revenge for both of us as we each try to “one up” the other.

  2. I think this is an interesting idea. Definitely would make bedroom talk more exciting. I know some women may struggle if they have to wait too long to orgasm after they get close. There seems to be a fine line between it feeling awesome to completely loosing it. Great ideas here to think about. :)

    1. Yes, it’s really more of a mental game than a physical game. You don’t want the wife to lose her orgasm… you want to drive her nuts!

      I think it would be less likely for the husband to lose his orgasm… more likely for him to just have it no matter what he’s told.

  3. My wife just started this and I think it is great. She has always been fairly vanilla but has done this the past few weeks. I am going to tell her what I want to do to her and that she cannot orgasm until I say.

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